Knock knock
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"Britt get the door" I groan pushing her thigh with my leg
"It's your house San you get it" she groans back this time kicking me off the bed
"What the fuck?"
She's laughing now "Well since you're up get the door grouchy pants"
I roll my eyes and head into the kitchen, slowly opening the door
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"Marie it's 3am everything okay?" I rub my eyes as she looks at me with sad eyes
"Santana I'm so sorry but"
"Where's Beth?" I ask immediately
"She's at the station, I need you to come with me please, it's Shelby"
I nod inviting her in as I head to my room to put more clothes on
"Everything okay San?" Britt asks rubbing her eyes
"Something with Beth, go back to sleep B, I'll be back as soon as I can" she nods laying back down, i kiss the side of her head, grab my second favorite sweatshirt, my chucks and we're out the door.
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A short drive later we walk into the station, I see her sitting there, head down blonde hair covering her face, headphones in, now realizing where my favorite sweatshirt has gone and it takes me back.
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-Flashback 12 years ago-
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"San! You made it!" Is all I hear as a flash of blonde hair jumps in my arms
"Q-Ball, you realize you have the same sweatshirt not sure why you insist on wearing mine" I say squeezing her, inhaling that heavenly scent that has invaded my dreams and senses for the past 4 years.
"Just admit it looks way better on me San! Anyways, I think tonight is definitely the night!" She smiles and I die a little inside.
"Who's the unlucky guy?" She rolls her eyes and points to the bain of my existence "Puck?"
She nods "He's cute right?"
I roll my eyes "Even if I was straight and he was the last man on earth and all of humanity depended on us, I wouldn't sleep with him, you're so much better than him Q."
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She looks at me while squinting her eyes almost like she's waiting for me to say something else. But I don't and I won't because we're best friends and I don't want to lose her, I don't because she's straight and finally the most important reason, she doesn't know Ive been in love with her since sophomore year.
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"Stop hitting on me Lopez" she laughs playfully pushing my shoulder, I roll my eyes trying to play it off "Keep dreaming Fabray" but in reality it's me who will always keep dreaming.
"Well" I clear my throat "As much as I'd like to see you crash and burn with puckerman I've got to go"
She pouts "This is our last party San, we graduate in less than a week! Live a little!"
"Speaking of!" I say pulling a box out of my pocket "This is for you! Do not open it til you're all settled in your dorm room, future Dr Fabray!"
"You didn't have to get me anything San, thank you" she nods placing the small box in her back pocket.
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"I love you Lucy Q" I exhale, she looks up at me and smiles "I love you too Santana Lopez" she hugs me once more and I squeeze her like I'll never see her again because after tonight everything is going to change, I head to the door, taking one last look at her. She looks back at the same time and waves, smiling that smile I like to think is just for me. I nod, sadly accepting my inevitable fate as I turn to leave.
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-End Flashback-
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.
.
.
.
.
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"Miss Lopez?" I hear immediately shaking me from my thoughts
"I'm sorry Marie, I'll just wait with Beth until you're ready for me" I say heading towards her.
"Hey B, whatcha listening too?" I ask sitting next to her. She says nothing but gives me one of her ear buds and puts her head on my shoulder.
We stay like that for a few minutes until Marie comes back to get me
"I'll be right back okay?" I ask and she nods
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"Marie what's going on this time, where's Shelby this time?" I ask walking into her office.
"Shelby overdosed earlier tonight Santana, Beth is the one who found her and I'm afraid she didn't make it"
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I sit there in complete disbelief, Shelby would often come into the bar I worked at during graduate school, sometimes she would bring Beth with her and I'd insist on keeping her but I didn't know it had become this bad.
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"What happens to Beth?"
"Well, we found a form Shelby filed that you both signed so it appears Beth is yours now, if that's something you still want to do, if not then she would be placed in a temporary foster home until we could find her something more permanent. Beth refused to go anywhere until we got a hold of you."
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-Flashback-
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"Go home Shelby!" I yell across the bar as she leans across it
"Santana, San, I just need one more drink then I'll go I promise, come on it's been a long day" she pleads
"Where's Beth?" I ask and she sits back pointing down
"She can't be in here Shelby I've already told you!" I kneel down to see Beth on the floor leaning against the barstool listening to her music.
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"Hey gorgeous girl why don't you go in the back and have something to eat?" She smiles and nods, "Can I stay with you Auntie San?" She asks and it breaks my heart but I nod, she hugs me then runs to the back.
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"Shelby come with me to the office for a second" she nods following me up to my office.
"What are these papers Santana?"
"They're for Beth, in case anything happens I can take care of her" I ask handing her the pen
"I'm not signing my daughter over to you" she scoffs putting the pen down
"You really think it's fair to Beth to see you like this? I'm not taking her from you, It's only a precaution for Beth so she doesn't end up in the system, unless that's what you want." Shelby looks at me like she's trying to decide if this is a trick or not.
"I'll tell you what" she says finally picking up the pen. "I'll sign these right now if you give me a bottle of whatever I want"
I roll my eyes "Fine but only if you promise to leave Beth with me tonight" I shoot back
"Deal" Shelby shrugs signing the paper.
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-End Flashback-
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.
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I exhale taking a minute to let everything in, this is a huge huge responsibility and to be honest I'm not sure I'm completely ready for it, I'm only 29. Sure, I graduated Columbia with my masters in creative literature, sure I have a great job teaching at the university now and sure the Dwarf and Porcelin live next door to me so I'm sure they can help... I'll have to explain it to Britt, she and I have been dating for about a year now and we're in a really good place I'm sure she'll understand, hopefully if not then I'll cross that bridge.
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"Santana?" Marie says again trying to see where I'm at.
"I'm so sorry Marie, I wasn't prepared for any of this, I love Beth, you know that, I know that. So ready or not, let's do this" I smile at her while she nods as she prepares the paperwork.
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Marie works for CPS, she's Beth's case worker for about 5 years now, she knows all about Shelby and her many problems over the years, she and I have been by Beth's side through everything. I've been in this office more times than I can count, I'm sure I could have been a social worker with how much time I've spent here.
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"It will take a few weeks to get all the official papers completed but I don't see any problems, I'm so glad she has you Santana" she says hugging me
"Me too Marie, me too" I say walking out of her office
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"Hey mini Q ball you ready?" I ask, she rolls her eyes grabbing her backpack nodding.
"Been ready for the past 12 years Auntie San" she dryly states and starts to walk to my car, I thank Marie again and we head to my apartment.
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I've lived here for about 5 years now, it's a 2 bedroom 2 bath loft in Manhattan. My parents helped me for my first few years at Columbia, they wondered why I wanted a 2 bedroom but once they knew my relationship with Beth the finally understood. I wanted to be close to where Shelby was and I picked a 2 bedroom so Beth would always have her own space. I allowed her to decorate it anyway she wanted within reason, sometimes the little things she does and says still catch me off guard. She has pucks sad sense of humor but everything else is Quinn through and through, right down to her beautiful hazel eyes. Every time the light hits them perfectly I see Quinn shine through.
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I haven't seen or talked to Quinn for about 11 years, she gave Beth up when she was almost 1 but by then I was already at Columbia, my mom told me the decision tore her apart everyday but her dream was to be a doctor and she couldn't do both, her parents were useless. I don't judge her, at the time Shelby was the best option, she was smart, educated and very well off. I'm not sure when all that changed? Maybe life just happened. After I found out Shelby got her and was in New York, I kept in constant contact with her, at first she was skeptical but once she knew I had no contact with Quinn, I wasn't a threat. Plus I think she was thankful for the extra help. From then on I was there for every birthday, every play, every sporting event, absolutely everything I could be. I guess in some weird way it was my way of hanging on to a small piece of Quinn.
Beth makes me laugh because deep down she's definitely a Fabray, especially during sports she has the same competitive attitude and same ruthless desire to thrive and conquer. I have no doubt she will continue to do great things, I'm just glad she lets be around to watch it all unfold.
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