The dining hall was filled with laughter and smiling faces. People chatting with their comrades, even though the tasteless food should have dulled the mood considerably.

Captain Levi sat next to Hange and Erwin, eating his own ration and stared. To others, he would simply be starring off into space with his usual bored look on his face, but in reality, he looked at a certain green eyed boy.

The young man's face was adorned with a smile, his eyes shining while talking to his friends. He was beautiful, the captain thought.

The man had realised that it wasn't the first time he was staring at the cadet. It had happened more frequently for some time now, and to his own surprise, he found he didn't care all that much. It was, in a way, soothing to look at him. But deep inside he knew he wanted more, because the yearning in his chest wouldn't stop. But he kept it all to himself. Eren admired him as a captain, nothing more, nothing less. And he accepted that. So he sat there, deep in thought while everyone else ate.

And that's when it started.

He was ripped from his thought process as soon as the coughing began. It stopped a few moments after, but he still couldn't breathe right.

The man excused himself from dinner that evening, ignoring the worried and concerned looks from his team and Hange. As soon as he was out of everyone's sight and hearing range, he began to cough again. It didn't stop this time. Levi felt something in his throat and threw it up, eventually.

Whatever it was, it was small and pink.

And stained with blood.

His blood.

Levi was disgusted. What was this thing? How could it even...well it didn't matter. He picked the thing up and wanted to throw it in the trash can, but stopped only a moment afterwards. He knew the feeling. The thing he held in his hand was a flower petal. Even with all the blood on it, the softness was still unmistakable. But how and why the fuck would a flower petal be in his throat?

And then he began to throw up again. The process was long and painful, but he finally got that something out of his lung.

A flower.

A fucking flower.

Levi knew, somehow, that it was a chrysanthemum. It's meaning was honesty. He didn't even know why that came to his mind, or how he even knew it, but all he could think of was that he coughed up a flower.

Well, what now? How do you explain that you're coughing up plants? Hange might know something, perhaps. But no, he couldn't tell anyone. If anyone found out that humanity's strongest was in this… condition, hell would break loose.

So, like the idiot he was, he kept it to himself.

The coughing didn't stop, and only got worse with time. At first, there were only a few pink petals, but then there were many at a time, sometimes whole chrysanthemums. He tried to clean them, but the blood on the blooms remained. It got painful and he couldn't breath, even passing out from suffocation once, only barely able to wake up. Hange, Erwin and his team decided he was ill and stopped him from training and going on expeditions. He didn't get off his bed very often.

They all cared. His friends, his loyal comrades, but it didn't help. The coughing came more frequently, more painfully, and that for five months now.

But dammit, he wished Eren was here.

Levi stood up, the sun beginning to set and painting the horizon in a beautiful combination of red and orange. His white clothes were fluttering in the autumn breeze and he calmed down. The black haired man was sitting in the grass of the field. For once, he didn't care that his clothes got dirty, he'd just change them anyway.

It began to get colder, the summer was ending. The nighttime was longer. And somehow, he found beauty in everything he saw. The colors the trees wore, the leaves on the ground, the sun rising and setting on the sky. He appreciated it all. It was like the first time he came from the underground, seeing the sun for the first time. But, he figured, that's what death was doing to people. And he was lying on his deathbed, he knew it. The flower-problem got worse, becoming more frequent, it wouldn't solve itself. This was it. He wouldn't get to see how the walls would fall, the ocean Armin always talked about. But it didn't matter anyways, didn't it?

He was disturbed when he heard footsteps. The wet grass rustled when the person came. Levi knew the person was coming for him, probably to get him back inside. With his condition still unknown, who knows what the cold could do?

"Captain."

He held back a flinch when he heard that voice. The silk-like voice he fell in love with. Eren hadn't visited him in a long time, he didn't know why either. But it hurt, Badly. Levi didn't turn around. He couldn't look into those green eyes right now. There was a moment of silence since Eren probably expected an answer, which he didn't get of course.

"Hange told me to escort you back inside."

The boy didn't get an answer this time, either. Not even a noticeable reaction. His green eyes were fixated on the older man.

"Did she?"

His voice was still filled with boredom and something else Eren couldn't identify. Slowly, he moved. Both of the faces held no emotion. The two said beside each other, looking at the night sky in silence.

Eren looked at him, one of his eyebrows raised,waiting for something. Levi's eyes wandered over Erens face and as he finally worked up the courage to meet the teens eyes, two things happened.

He'd admit, he expected pity or concern, perhaps even curiosity if Hange had rubbed off in him, not this.

Not indifference.

Not emotionlessness.

His eyes held no emotion he could pinpoint. His eyes were as cold as a December evening and it hurt so much. And secondly, he couldn't breathe. The coughing started again and he couldn't stop. Not until Erens hand touched his back.

"I'm fine, Yeager!" he managed to say.

"Are you sure, Captain?"

"Tch!"

Levi slapped his hand off of his shoulder. He didn't need the boys comfort! Why should he?

"Hange told me to get inside, didn't she? Then so be it!"

The older man stormed off the training grounds, leaving Eren there. He felt bad and guilty for that, but if the boy didn't care, then he shouldn't either.

Then why did it hurt so much?

The night ended with him heaving up three whole flowers in his room.