Feyre
I'm vomited into the toilet, the sounds of my retching filling the room. Behind closed eyes all I could see was Rhys lifeless body, hearing his voice say 'I love you' one last time before he gave his life. Another gag as I leaned over the bowl to vomit. He wasn't dead. He wasn't dead. We saved him. The feeling of emptiness filled me. The feeling of the bond gone. I heaved and ordered myself to stop. The bond was still there, I was just tricking myself.
I remembered my screaming, the screaming of pure agony when I realized he was dead. The pure hopelessness. I opened my eyes and vomited whatever food I had left in my stomach before I closed them tight again. Heaving, I rested my cheek against the cool glass of the toilet trying to calm down. A caress asked permission to enter my mental shields as a warm hand started rubbing my back. "Shh it's ok.."
I allowed Rhys in my shields, showed him everything I was feeling. His presence comforted me and for a minute I was calm until I imagined his dead body again. I gasped and leaned over the bowl, preparing to vomit again. Rhys started whispering comforting words towards me but all I could hear was the power of the cauldron washing over me, drowning me. 'Hey. It's ok. Everything turned out ok..'.
"I'm here for you."
I sat there for a few minutes, heaving and waiting for the thoughts and images to subside.
When the worst was over I leaned back into him and shut my eyes. "I can't stop seeing it, your dead body. Almost everytime I close my eyes," my voice wavered.
He kissed the top of my head, "I know it's hard. It is for me too. We sacrificed so much to get here; I want you to know I will always be here for you."
My voice was shaky from the vomiting and the tears, "Thank you."
"You never have to thank me for anything Feyre darling…" 'Every moment I spend with you is the happiest of my life. I promise you I will be there for you no matter what and you'll never feel alone. I love you with everything I am.'
'What's not to love?"
He laughed and looked down at me and I smiled back at him, remembering that evening during the Solstice. And as we sat there together I knew that everything was going to be alright, even if it took time. At some point I must've fallen asleep because when I awoke again I was in bed with Rhys; his arms wrapped around me protectively with the sheets tightly tucked in around us.