Anakin wished that Padawans came with an instruction manual.
Of course, he ought to know what he was doing. He was a Padawan himself for a decade of his life, and despite their frequent fallouts, Obi-Wan was an exceptional, model Master.
Anakin didn't know the first thing about raising a child, let alone one who could access crazy Force-powers at the flick of a switch. He didn't know how his mother or Obi-Wan could do it for so long, he was struggling after a couple of hours as Ahsoka's guardian.
It was a full-time job. One moment, he'd be cleaning up vomit after Ahsoka was dared by Rex to eat the least favourable ration out of the entire GAR supply, and the next he was trying to calm her down before her distress caused a tank to explode after a brutal battle.
It wasn't easy, but nobody said having a Padawan was a walk in the park.
Over time, Anakin learnt how to keep another person alive and healthy whilst not losing his sanity in the process. He learnt not to completely freak out whenever she got injured in battle, and he finally relented in trying to teach her a more traditional grip, accepting that Ahsoka fought at her best in a reverse grip.
Ahsoka looked out for Anakin as much as he looked out for her.
She was a lot like him in so many ways, headstrong and determined and never one to back out of a fight. It was part of the reason they got along so well. He sounded like a hypocrite every time he told Ahsoka off for doing something reckless and brash.
Like Master, like Padawan.
Obi-Wan encouraged him to be open and honest with Ahsoka, claiming that communication was key in a Master and Padawan relationship. Once they swallowed their pride, Anakin and Ahsoka were reasonably clean with telling each other when problems arose.
Something he never quite got used to was the sight of his Padawan doing her schoolwork. Unlike him, she never needed motivating, and being raised as a Temple child, she never struggled with illiteracy like he did.
As soon as they returned from a mission, Ahsoka would seat herself at the kitchen counter and work through half a dozen datapads until late into the night. Anakin would be leaving for Padmé's before she went to sleep, though she never argued his elaborate excuses, she just kept her head down and cracked on with her work.
Anakin supposed he should tell her to tone it down at times, seeing as she could never really switch off, but he was really just grateful that Ahsoka hadn't picked up his bad habit of leaving everything to the last minute and actually cared about her studies.
He knew she was smart; everyone could see that. She often used words that Anakin had to search the meanings of on the HoloNet later, and could do complex equations in her head without needing a calculator or pen and paper.
Anakin found it amusing. During strategy meetings, Ahsoka developed a tradition of correcting officers three times her age about historical events or logistics. The Admirals would mutter an apology, then give Anakin a funny look, to which he'd roll his eyes. His Padawan's apparent cleverness was something of an inside joke between him and the other officers, something that closed the gap between him and them.
"Do you think Ahsoka appreciates your jokes about her intelligence?" Obi-Wan asked after he witnessed Anakin and two Admirals laughing when Ahsoka subtly corrected them.
Anakin scoffed, "What can she be upset about? The fact that she's smart?"
"That you're teasing her for it," Obi-Wan deadpanned, "Her confidence and self-esteem should be nurtured, Anakin, not laughed at."
"She's fine," Anakin emphasised, if only to get Obi-Wan off his back.
He didn't think anything of the jokes or teasing again until one of Ahsoka's teachers asked to speak to him.
Sitting on the creaky stool in the same room where he had been laughed at for being unable to read from the board had Anakin's stomach twisting uncomfortably.
He hadn't been here since he was Knighted. His days as a student weren't exactly pleasant, constantly being mocked by other Padawans and coddled by his teachers because he arrived at the Temple at age nine, unable to read or write.
Catching up had been a long and tedious process. He had to spend all day in classrooms and then go through countless exercises with Obi-Wan in the evening. He'd go to bed mentally exhausted, and usually in tears, never seeing the improvement that he wanted.
Somehow, he'd made it. Obi-Wan's patience and his own stubbornness to complete his studies allowed his grades to slowly creep up during his Padawanship. To him, all that mattered was being able to read his wedding vows to Padmé.
"Master Sebris," He bowed his head at the human woman as she put her book away.
"You must be the famous Knight Skywalker," she said with a smile, extending a petite hand, "I'm pleased to meet you at last. I'm one of Ahsoka's teachers."
Anakin shook her hand, cautiously tightening his shields. She seemed nice, but he still felt like he was being judged. "She hasn't been causing any trouble, has she?"
At the start of her Apprenticeship, Ahsoka had managed to get herself caught in a fist fight with another Padawan. It came to light that she had been indirectly taught to use violence to solve simple disputes by watching the men of the 501st do the same thing, always encouraged and cheered on by Anakin himself.
"No, no, nothing like that." Sebris shook her head gently, "Ahsoka is an exemplar student, which I found surprising after I heard how she can tend to think with her fists more than her head on the battlefield."
Anakin winced, "We get the job done."
"I know," her smile was kind, "I always enjoy Ahsoka's stories about the battles she takes part in, but that's not why I asked to speak to you."
She cleared her throat, "I'm aware that Ahsoka is under staggering amounts of pressure as a Commander. I must ask you, Knight Skywalker, has Ahsoka been... herself the past month?"
He immediately frowned, running over every time he'd seen Ahsoka in the past few weeks. They had only been on a handful of missions, spending the rest of their free time at the Temple to work on her lightsaber forms with the addition of her shoto. He hadn't been worried about her at any point, "What do you mean?"
"Well, I think you and I can agree that a battlefield is no place for a teenager, but has anything happened recently that could've caused her great upset? A friend's death? An injury?"
"Nothing that I've noticed." Now, he was getting worried. Ahsoka could handle most of the bloodshed and suffering she saw on the front lines. "Why? Has she said something to you?"
"No," Sebris sighed, wringing her hands, "but Ahsoka's grades have dropped over the past month. Significantly." She noticed his look of confusion and frowned to herself, "Skywalker, do you know what grade your Padawan has been at all year?"
"Um," he thought for a moment, realising that Ahsoka had never presented him with a report card or essay grade. She studied like hell, but he didn't bother to pry on what she was actually learning about. "Not exactly. I know she's above average."
"That's an understatement," Sebris drew a datapad from within her robes and turned it on, "Ahsoka is remarkably gifted in academics. She's scored higher than the other Padawans in eight out of her eleven subjects."
She held out the 'pad which displayed a table that Anakin was familiar with.
The Padawans were graded on a scale of one to five for each subject, with one being the highest grade, and five being the lower end. Anakin had always been a straight four or five grade student, so his eyebrows automatically rose when he saw that Ahsoka was getting ones in every subject, even Galactic History which she claimed she hated.
"And they've dropped?"
"Unfortunately, yes." Sebris scrolled down a bit, Ahsoka's grades dropping to threes and fours, with two subjects recording a five. "She's not doing so well anymore. I've also seen her attentiveness in class suffer too; she seems distracted and withdrawn."
Anakin's heart thudded loudly in his chest. Why wasn't he aware of this? Ahsoka had been her usual self, why was she suddenly falling behind and not enjoying her subjects?
"I have asked why she appears to be struggling, offering extra tutoring and even a break from her assignments, out of fear that the pressure was becoming too much." Sebris looked at him sadly, "Ahsoka has declined all my efforts to help her get back on track. She's simply uninterested in improving."
"That doesn't sound like Ahsoka." He said, trying to conceal how concerned he was becoming.
"Precisely why I wanted to make you aware of this, Skywalker." She switched off the datapad, "Perhaps you'd have better luck getting to the root of this problem than me. She speaks very highly of her Master."
"I'll speak to her," he promised, "I'll find out why she's dropped her grades, and make sure she brings them back up."
Sebris nodded, "Maybe she just needs to get something off her chest and needs you to listen. I know you'll do what you can to help her."
Closing the door of their shared quarters behind him, Anakin didn't have to look far for his student.
He followed the sound of trashy radio music to the kitchen, where Ahsoka had her back turned to him. She was washing the dishes in the sink, an unusual sight in itself considering she'd usually be studying around this time, whilst humming along to the pop song that he heard Fives singing the other day.
She seemed fine. Part of him wanted to not bring up what her teacher had said, fearing it would cause some sort of rift between them or upset her, but he had a responsibility.
The Council would notice if her grades dropped too low, and then he'd get the crap for it. Not to mention, it was also bugging him as a guardian that Ahsoka had suddenly lost interest in her schoolwork. He needed to get to the bottom of this, no matter how uncomfortable the conversation would be.
With a wave of his hand, Anakin lowered the radio volume to a low hum. Ahsoka turned around suddenly, though she soon settled at the sight of her Master in the doorway, "What are you doing here?"
He frowned, "Last time I checked, this is my quarters as well, Snips."
Ahsoka looked sceptical, drying her hands with a tea towel, " You're usually galivanting around Coruscant at this hour."
Anakin's chest went tight. Maybe he ought to stop going to Padmé's every night and try to spend some downtime with her instead. Could that be the reason why she was suddenly withdrawn from her studies? He knew that Togrutas were a sociable species who didn't do well being on their own for too long. Had he been neglecting her?
"I don't like that look on your face, Master." Ahsoka said, lifting an eye marking. "Is something wrong?"
"Not exactly," he walked to the fridge, "but I do want to talk to you."
Anxiety slipped past Ahsoka's shields and bled across their bond as she watched him. Anakin sent back a wave of calm. He didn't want her to be worried, he needed her to be relaxed in order to be honest with him.
Pulling a chilled bottle out of the fridge, he glanced at her, "Beer?"
Some of the tension eased out of her frame, "Who are you and what have you done with my Master?"
He rolled his eyes, "Never mind; I've got something better." He pulled out a bottle of red wine, "This was from Senator Amidala. I won't tell Obi-Wan if you won't."
Ahsoka's features were skewed in confusion, but when she realised he wasn't trying to trick her, she shrugged, "Sure."
He poured her a glass (only a small one) and cracked open his beer. He rarely touched his small supply, but he thought the drink might make this conversation seem less formal, more like two friends than Master and Padawan.
Ahsoka sat at the counter, waiting for him to slump onto the stool opposite her, "What do you want to talk about?"
Bite the bullet.
Anakin took a long sip of beer and scowled. It tasted vile, like Hutt piss. "One of your teachers called me."
Her shoulders rose, though her face remained calm, "Which one?"
"Master Sebris," Ahsoka cautiously took the glass of wine that he pushed towards her, taking a tiny sip and immediately grimacing., "She's worried that you might be falling behind."
Ahsoka said nothing at first, placing her glass back on the table.
Anakin sighed, "Ahsoka, you know you can tell me if something's bothering you. It's important to keep up with your schoolwork-"
"I know," she muttered, cutting him off as she stared at the tabletop.
"I wasn't finished," Anakin said sternly, though not unkindly, "I was going to say it's important to keep up with your schoolwork, but not at the expense of your wellbeing."
Her eyes lifted to his, confusion etched across her face.
"War is hard, Snips," he said softly, "We see things that nobody should have to see. I know it can feel like everyone expects us to just deal with it, but it's okay to admit that we're affected by all the suffering we witness."
"I know, Master," she said quietly, "I promise, it's not the war."
"Then what is it?" He asked, sensing her turmoil in the Force. "Speak to me, Snips. Tell me what I can do to help."
She let out a breath between her teeth, "Is it such a big deal if I don't do so well in school, Master?"
"No," he answered honestly, "but if you've gone from the top of your class to the bottom without any obvious reason, then I have justification to find out why, don't I?" She nodded solemnly, "Come on, Snips. Out with it."
She dragged a hand over her face, "You'll think it's stupid."
He reached out, wrapping his fingers around her own, "I won't; you know you can tell me anything."
She drew her hand out from beneath his to twirl the stem of her glass, though she didn't take another sip. "Master Dejin taught you, didn't he?"
Anakin frowned, recognising the name instantly, "Yeah, why?"
She shook her head, "He started teaching me two months ago. He said he was impressed with me," she looked at him then, "because you're my Master, and you failed his class."
He couldn't help but smile, "He's right there. I couldn't stand geography. I'm glad you're good at it, or else we'd be completely lost whenever we go somewhere without R2."
Ahsoka didn't find it funny, "He said it in front of the entire class, that I was the first Padawan in the Order to be smarter than their Master, and everyone laughed."
A frown fell across his features, but she wasn't finished.
"He humiliated you." She gripped her glass, making the wine ripple, "No Master has ever had a teacher tell an entire class of teenagers that their Padawan is smarter than them."
Anakin almost recoiled from her words.
"Is that why you're flunking your classes?" He asked, astonished, "Because you want to defend my honour?" He huffed a humourless laugh, "Snips, you can't be serious."
She dropped her eyes, suddenly interested in the tabletop.
"Ahsoka," the use of her name spoken so sincerely made her flinch. "You know, when I came to the Temple, I was illiterate."
She sighed, "Yes, Master. My teachers remind me."
"But I learnt." He emphasised, not bothering to dwell on the fact that his former teachers have been slagging him off to Ahsoka. "Obi-Wan helped me learn to read and write, and yeah, I might not be the smartest Knight in the Order, but I've come a hell of a long way since I got here."
She nodded once, "I know."
"Snips," finally, she looked up at him, "Just because I didn't score ones, doesn't mean you can't."
Ahsoka's features skewed as she processed his words. She was feeling unconfident all of a sudden, like she couldn't get herself back on track. He sent pulses of admiration and pride across their bond, promises of support. Ahsoka responded with unconditional gratitude, though she still looked worried.
He took another sip of beer, swallowing quickly to get rid of the taste, "Is that why you've never told me about your grades? Because you don't want to brag?"
"I got the impression you didn't really care," she admitted quietly, "and if you don't know how I'm doing in class, then you can't make jokes and laugh at me."
It took him a moment to figure out what she meant, and when it clicked, his stomach dropped. "You mean, the jokes with the Admirals?"
"Yeah," her voice cracked a little, sending panging pain through his chest, "I know you aren't trying to hurt me, but-" she let out a heavy sigh, pausing for a few moments, and he didn't dare cut her off.
"I've worked hard in my classes, I've had to. Everyone expects me to be perfect because I'm your Padawan, and to hear you just-"
Her eyes suddenly went glassy, and Anakin's hand shot out to grasp hers. He squeezed her fingers tightly, silently begging her to continue.
"It made me feel like I wasn't doing enough, or that you were angry with me for doing well." With her free hand, Ahsoka swiped at her eyes to dry them, "I told you, Master, it's stupid."
"No, it isn't," he tried to emphasise, though she wouldn't look him in the eye. "I wish you had told me that you felt this way, Ahsoka, I should've noticed that you were hurt. I'm sorry."
She nodded, pressing her lips together, "It's okay."
"Not yet," he told her firmly, "Snips, look at me."
She did, and he watched in misery as a single tear managed to breach her lower lash line.
"I've been a fool, Ahsoka." He told her, "The only reason I speak to those Admirals is to try to fit in with them. I'm not some trust fund collage graduate like they all are, I'm just the kid from Tatooine. I- I was pretending to be someone I wasn't, so I wouldn't be seen as less than."
Ahsoka watched him sadly from across the table. Anakin flooded their bond with love and regret, letting her bounce back appreciation and forgiveness.
"I really am sorry," he said, rubbing the back of her hand gently, like his mother used to, "You always come first, especially when it comes to snobby, overprivileged Admirals. I never intended to hurt you to fulfil my fantasy of fitting in."
She nodded, adoration and fondness rolling off her in waves, "Thank you, Master."
He squeezed her hand once more before letting go, "I know it can feel like everyone's expecting perfection, but I promise you, Ahsoka, I'll never expect you to be flawless."
The relief sagged Ahsoka's posture, and he could tell she was truly grateful for the reassurance. He was still angry at himself for letting things get out of control. Hell, he was bullying his own Padawan without knowing it. He was glad she told him what he was doing wrong, instead of just dancing around the problem.
It was part of the reason they were destined to be together.
He resolved to do better, to be better.
Padmé had tears of pure love in her eyes when Anakin told her that he needed to distribute his time more evenly between her and Ahsoka. She said it showed how great of a Master he was becoming.
He and Ahsoka made a routine and stuck to it. Study time was restricted so Ahsoka couldn't work the entire evening. She had panicked slightly at the time limit first, but with reassurance from her Master and teachers that she could get her grades back easily enough, she was content to pack up her datapads when the chrono binged at the end of their session.
Anakin started to pay more attention to Ahsoka's studies. He read her essays before they were submitted, even though he knew he wasn't much of an editor, but it was more for bonding than anything else. Surprisingly, Anakin's own literacy skills started to improve over time as he got used to reading long essays and papers about subjects he had never really thought about.
He visited Ahsoka's teachers, sometimes with her and sometimes on his own. He wrote down when her assignments were due and asked the Masters if Ahsoka needed any extra support that he wasn't aware of. He followed through with their advice, taking Ahsoka to Senate meetings when her politics teacher announced she was struggling with class debates, and he took her off Coruscant to study fauna on distant planets.
"She's very lucky to have you," Master Sebris told him as they waited for Ahsoka outside her final exam. "I've never seen her so happy."
They got pulled to the front lines on a last-minute mission a few days before the results of her exams were due. Both Anakin and Ahsoka were stressed, even though they knew she'd done everything she could. That was the problem with them both being impatient.
"Hold still," he said, painting the bitter tasting polish onto her fingernails in a desperate effort to stop her from chewing her skin raw. "I'm nearly done."
"I can't wait for this to be over," Ahsoka said, nervously bouncing her knees against each other.
"It's just like a battle, Snips," he said, "Win or lose, you know you've done your best."
"At least I'm not in danger of being killed if I fail Galactic History," she huffed with a laugh, then became serious, "I owe you a lot, Master."
He shook his head, blowing on her nails to make the polish dry faster, "You don't owe me anything."
They never made it back in time.
Two days before her results' day, there was a bombing at the Temple.
Ahsoka's grades suddenly became their lowest priority as she was quite literally snatched from his hands for crimes that she never could've committed.
All that work went down the drain, and yet Anakin knew it would a futile effort to bring up her schoolwork when they spoke on the Temple steps.
Grades didn't matter if the Council didn't trust her.
Even when he told her on Mandalore as they walked towards the hanger, that she had passed every subject with a one, and Master Sebris had almost cried when she learnt the news of her departure, Ahsoka didn't have much to say on the matter.
"I used to think those numbers meant something," she said with a fake smile, "but they don't really. They're just numbers." She glanced at him, their old bond throbbing gently with admiration. "Those grades never stopped you from being the best."
Anakin pulsed back just as much admiration, trying to make up for the hug they never got to have when she arrived with Bo-Katan, "I've never been prouder of you, Snips. Really, never prouder than I am right now."
She blinked, tears glazing over her eyes and then quickly dissipating, "Thank you, Master."