The light in the room felt faded, she wasn't sure if there was light at all, or that her eyes had just simply adjusted to the darkness around her. This wasn't comforting in any shape or form, but it was easy to understand that the room wasn't too small or filled with furniture. The room was just a cell to keep her, a bed, a chair and one door that was rarely opened, only a small flap to let in food and water for her to stay alive.
She'd lost track of day or night, what day of the week it was, the month or how many years have passed. All she knew was that this felt like her life from now on.
The door opened with a snap, a figure dark to the blinding light behind them, "Get her ready!" the voice boomed loudly, "We need to know if it worked."
Harsh arms pulled Jessica to her feet, dragging her out of the room she was not going to like what would happen. Her hand grabbing at one of them, twisting an arm until it snapped, but before she could do anything to the other person, a sharp pain ripped through her chest seeing a taser pushed into her ribs.
Waking up with a jolt Jessica felt her hands into her hair, she turned to her bedside clock seeing the time. Her mind would drift back into the nightmare she had, studying where she was lying on the floor next to her bed. "Frick!" She pulled herself off the floor heading to the window opening the curtains to investigate the outside world.
The morning light gave the world a hue of orange mixed with grey; Jessica rested her forehead on the glass trying to pull her mind back to reality. While she didn't remember much of her life before the blip, all she knew was that she was saved from a bad place, a place she knew her doctors were trying to keep her from remembering.
It was strange to stand by the window not knowing, but for Jessica it wasn't out of the ordinary, it was better to be in an apartment that wasn't shared with others like on the ward. Jessica finally snapped back to reality as she turned from the window to leave her bedroom going towards the lounge slash kitchen, the apartment was paid by the government, but Jessica didn't know why she was so important to them.
Getting herself ready for the day Jessica found her keys, she opened the front door to her apartment, she paused seeing a man exiting the apartment across the hall from her own. "Hi…" It was the first thing she spoke in a long time, but she wasn't sure what brough it on to say anything to a stranger.
The man's long hair was slightly covering his eyes, he had a short shaggy looking beard, a jacket and gloves on even though the weather wasn't cold, but he stopped in his tracks. "Hey…" His reply was simple.
"I'm new to the building." Jessica was trying to know the people who lived in the apartment block. "I'm Jessica… By the way." She added with an attempt to smile, her therapist would pop into her head reminding her to not be closed off.
"I'm James," He froze for a second taking the woman in front of him, her long hair was down by her waist, he couldn't tell if it was brown or red. He wasn't much for eye contact, but some reason her eyes were big, reminded him of a cartoon deer.
Jessica brushes some of her hair behind her ear, "Nice to meet you." Pulling the door behind her closing it, she knew that right now she was going to be running late, but for this moment, she didn't care about the schedule she was on. "I've got a," She didn't really know what words to say, "I'm running late." She pointed towards the elevator, part of her getting lost in a person she just met. "I…"
Bucky could only watch Jessica rushing away from him, part of him thinking that she must have recognized who he was, and that would always give him a pain of guilt, a guilt he would never stop feeling for what he did as The Winter Soldier. He wasn't one for caring, he wasn't going to keep her, but as she stopped to press the button, he remembered he was going to be late for his appointment, and he needed to be there.
Jessica watched the doors open, she stepped in, and for a second noticed that Bucky had got in with her, "Going down?" She tried not to laugh at her own bad joke.
"Guess so," Bucky kept his stare forward, even if out the corner of his eye he could see her face also facing forward. "Friends…" He drew out the word friends, he didn't really have any of those alive, or around. "Bucky…" He felt like his whole brain switch off, he wasn't this awkward around people, he was a sociable guy, he was always dragging Steve around to things. "Friends call me Bucky."
Jessica turned to see his face, "Bucky," She nodded, "I wouldn't know about friends, but I think Jess is something I," She stopped, her mind was pulling towards memories she couldn't trust. "You can call me Jess." She lightly ran her top tooth over her bottom lip feeling like the elevator she shared with this man was getting smaller around her.
Bucky shifted his weight from one foot to the other, he didn't really know what to do now, but he cleared his throat. "Okay Jess," He watched as the doors to the elevator opened to show they were at the ground floor. "I will see you around." He stepped out.
Jessica took a few seconds to get out, she glanced to her watch seeing the time, also that her ride to her appointment was waiting for her. She didn't know what she was going to say to her therapist when she arrived late.
Jessica sat on the small couch, her attention to the man who was her therapist, he kept watching her closely. "So why was you late this morning?"
"I lost track of time…" Jessica lifted her feet onto the couch crossing her legs, "And I've never been late before now."
He wrote down in his notebook, "Are you still having the dreams?"
"Doctor Russell, I told you, I'm not having them anymore." Jessica brushed her hair back, her eyes never leaving focus on his face. "But yes, I am here a little late, because I lost track of the time."
Doctor Russell placed his pen in the middle of the notebook, he narrowed his eyes, "Jessica you have been here for the past three weeks, of all the people who come back from the blip, you are a rare case." He placed the book on a small table beside his chair, "You've chose not to open up, but with you being more compliant when out of the ward, all I can do is suggest you talk."
"Talk about the lack of memories, or that everyone has told me I was blipped out of existence to come back…" She placed her hands in her lap, her eyes never leaving Doctor Russell's face, but it was not threatening. "I don't know what you want from me?" She asked holding her hands up.
"I want a little honesty. I want you to tell us why you were in an abandoned building?" He picked the pen back up, he wasn't being harsh, but he needed to get the information that was needed.
Every session would always boil down to the same question, the only thing that seemed important to Doctor Russell, and Jessica felt her eyes drifting away from him towards the door. "I don't know." She was being honest, one second, she was in a darken room, the next the door was open, and people were shining a light at her. Jessica wasn't trying to lie, but it was hard when they never were going to take her answer. "And maybe it's good that I don't remember…"
"Well, it seems we are running out of time," Doctor Russell took a second to look at the clock above Jessica's head. "But you know my line is always open if you remember anything." He got to his feet heading to the door.
Jessica kept still, but when he opened the door, it was like she was quick to rush out of it, she didn't even say goodbye, but then she never really wanted to be here as she exited the room not looking back.
In her rush to exit the building she didn't know until it was too late knocking into someone, "Oh Jesus!" She muttered feeling like she should really watch where she was going but froze looking up to the guy from her building. "I'm so sorry."
Bucky felt someone bump into his arm, he turned to see the woman from across the hall from his apartment. "Jess?" He asked, but he felt it was more of an attempt of polite manners.
"Bucky," she replied, she felt her eyes go from him to the building, "Work, or patient?"
"Patient, yourself?" Bucky was honest, but he didn't really know what else to add.
Jessica shrugged, "Patient myself," She exhaled, "I'm guessing the government cares a lot about the people who were blipped…" She placed her hands into her pockets, neither of them was moving from the spot they stood outside the building.
"I'm not here for that reason," He did a double take over her face, he didn't want to guess an age, but she looked young, mid-twenties or thirty.
Jessica used her right hand to scratch behind her arm, while she never remembered her life, she didn't want to be weird. "I think they are calling me the rare case." She laughed at the thought of it, but she was talking about it now, and it sounded weirder than ever. "I don't know anything about myself, just that I was found in an abandoned building, and that a bracelet on my wrist says Jessica." She held her right hand up showing the silver bracelet, and she felt herself focused on the blank expression on his face. "And now I say it out loud to someone who isn't my therapist I realize how stupid that sounds…"
Bucky snapped out of his stare, "hopefully something will come back," He didn't know what to say, but he then was going to be trying his best to get back to what he needed to do.
"True," Jessica tried to smile, she wasn't sure if she was doing something right, she hadn't made much conversation before this point. "If you're not busy," taking a deep breath, and then kept focused. "Would you like to grab a cup of coffee?"
This question caught him off guard, and while she kept still in front of him, he didn't want to say no. "Okay…" He didn't know how that came across, but as his lips turned up into a smile. "Now?"
"If you want…" Jessica couldn't stop herself feeling her pulse in her hands, the beat of her heart starting to take control of her.
Bucky took a deep breath himself, "Yea," he could see the world was still moving around them, people were not aware of anything that was happening. "Where to?"
Jessica didn't stop her small giggle, "I know a nice little place." She pointed in a direction away from the building they stood in front of. "It's small, but then I've found that it's quiet enough to reflect on everything said to me in session."
Starting the walk, Bucky just followed Jessica. He wasn't sure what was going to come from this, but to him it was a start to build relationships in this part of his life, he was going to amend the wrongs of The Winter Soldier, but he needed to build a life for himself also.
The café was a little place like Jessica said, the table they sat was closer to the back, and Jessica casually looked over a menu, Bucky couldn't help but feel himself trying to avoid being too much inside his own head picking a menu up and glancing over the many varieties of hot drinks. "Why do they have so many?"
Jessica glanced over the top of her own menu, "Coffee is a very competitive business I heard." She tried to hide her grin behind the menu.
Bucky rolled his eyes, "I'll stick to the standard black coffee," He placed his menu down seeing that Jessica was still hiding half her face behind her menu.
"I'll get the drinks," Jessica stood up heading towards the counter leaving Bucky on his own, she stopped to turn and look at him. Jessica didn't know what to think of what she was doing, but as she smiled to the person behind the counter. "Black coffee and surprise me." She smiled; this was her only place she felt relaxed.
"You know you are getting harder to surprise," The woman was comforting, she had remembered Jessica from coming in once a week.
Jessica shrugged, "Well I'm just hoping for the best." She pointed to the table Bucky was sitting at, "I'm not alone today."
The woman glanced over, paused and gave a half smile, "Well that will be eight dollars."
Taking her purse out of her hoodie's pocket placing a ten-dollar bill down, "Thanks," She walked away quickly to sit with Bucky, she studied over the man who was sitting in silence. "Penny for your thoughts?"
It was a quick shift as Bucky turned to Jessica, "Sorry?"
"Never mind, I got you a coffee," Jessica played with her hands on the tabletop, she wasn't sure what else to say. Was this an idle chit chat to go nowhere.
Bucky kept still, he wasn't used to this, and while at the time it felt like a good idea, he didn't know what to say to this woman sitting with him, for every second that ticked by, he fell more into his own head. "Thank you…"
"No problem…" Jessica started to twiddle her thumbs, snapping her eyes to the doorbell going as more people walked into the café, she didn't want to feel like that, but at the same time she couldn't stop her thoughts taking over her. "Nice weather." She mentally slapped herself.
"Yeah," Bucky wasn't sure what was happening, his attention drifted to the couple sitting at the other end of the café, they sat close to each other, his eyes averted away from them back to Jessica who seemed to be staring at them. "Do you have…" He stopped himself asking the question.
"I don't," It seemed she knew what he was going to ask, and while Jessica wasn't a mind reader, her attention snapped back to Bucky's face. "I don't have any friends, or family... That I know of." She stopped playing with her thumbs. "Just me…" Her hands quickly brushed into her hair, she let out a gasp of air staring at the table. "I've never said that out loud."
"Black coffee, and white chocolate latte." The woman from the counter placed the drinks down, she looked from Jessica to Bucky. It didn't take her long to walk away from them as quickly as she arrived.
He didn't know what to do or say, Jessica was moving her hand around her coffee. Bucky knew he wasn't going to leave, but he needed to say something, anything that wasn't stupid. "I'm here."
Jessica stared up through her lashes, she wasn't sure what he meant, but for a second, she raised her eyebrow. "Thank you…" she brushed some of her hair behind her ear, "I thought I was awkward."
Bucky picked up the coffee mug taking a sip of his drink, he had to relax. He wasn't alone in his feelings. "So, what do you do for fun?" He asked trying to remember he needed this.
It took a few seconds to register, "Fun," Jessica managed to get out, "I read some, I try and find music I like the sound of." She didn't know how she was sounding. "Sometimes I go running." Finally snapping her attention, "What about you?"
A thousand things run through Bucky's mind, and it wasn't like he could tell her all the things he did in the past. That he was an over one hundred-year-old previously brainwashed assassin, that was also a guineapig for a super soldier serum. Not to forget the vibranium arm he hid. "Reading, are you reading anything interesting?"
Jessica took a sip of her drink, she started to loosen up now thinking of the book on her coffee table at home, "It's from a series of books, I mean I thought it sounded cool." She smiled, "The book I am reading is A Clash of kings, it's from A song of fire and ice, I heard there was a tv series made from it, but I think I'd rather read it." She drank more of the coffee, "Same question?"
"Right now?" Bucky felt his eyes looking to his half empty coffee, would he buy another to carry on sitting here with Jessica. "I don't have…"
She drank the rest of her coffee, "If you want, I can lend you A game of thrones, it's the first book in the series." Jessica paused, "It's medieval fantasy, think lord of the rings, but more violence, and well…" She felt a blush break over her cheeks.
"Well?" Bucky drank the last of his coffee, "I'm curious now."
It was a long gap, and Bucky snickered, "I'm going to get another coffee, you want?" He knew he was going to go back to this therapist and tell her he was making a friend.
"Please," She tried to hide her glowing face as she didn't know what to say to him, or if she should say anything at all. For now, all Jessica could do was sit with her hands in her hair trying to not completely freak over what to talk about next. Her eyes shifting to the couple who were now in their own world, eating each other's faces. It was easy to stop watching as her attention went to Bucky at the counter buying them another round of coffee.
When Bucky sat back at the table, he didn't want to look anywhere but at Jessica, her still holding onto her hair. "Are you alright?"
Swiftly glancing up Jessica smiled, it wasn't a false one, but a happy he'd returned. "Yeah, I just overthink." She played with the empty coffee cup in front of her. "So, what brings you to live in Brooklyn of all places?"
"It's my home," Bucky added, even if the places have changed, it was always his home. "Where did you come from?"
She laughed, but it was a nervous one. "Don't remember…" Her voice trailed off; she couldn't stop thinking of the fact of did she have a family out there who missed her. "For all sense and purpose, I don't know anything about who I was."
"I'm sorry, I didn't…" Bucky started seeing Jessica reach over the table to touch his right hand.
Jessica felt herself being pulled into his eyes, "Seriously don't worry about it," She exhaled while seeing he wasn't moving his hand away. "I can only move forward."
It wasn't much of an awkward silence when the lady from the counter brought over the two coffees, she didn't speak as she placed them down walking away. Bucky was just taking in the details of Jessica's face as she pulled the coffee cup towards herself. Her eyes wide, but she didn't look at him with fear. It was if for some reason he couldn't quiet place her, but a feeling of seeing them eyes before that gave him a sinking feeling of dread. He remembered everything The Winter Soldier did, but for some reason this girl was shaking him.
"Seriously." Jessica broke the silence, "I think we need to stop with the staring." She mentioned with a small grin. "I mean we are neighbors after all." She let go of his hand pulling away.
Bucky watched as her fingers let go of the top of his hands, he would have let out a breath of relief but stop himself. "We are." He added without hesitation, he picked up his cup drinking more of the coffee.
Jessica did the same, she wasn't sure what was going to come of this, but for the time being she was just going to take this as the start of a friendship, even if she weren't quite sure what kind of friend, she would be for him.