A/N - This is another collaboration of Elleree and I. Elleree as Kid, I as Heyes.

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The Grapes of Harassment

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"Did you do the 'walk off' speech?" Hannibal Heyes asked as he and Kid Curry exited the saloon.

Curry gave his cousin a glare. "Sometimes I wonder if YOU are a walk off."

"So what happened?"

The blond fast draw sighed, obviously not wanting to discuss it. "I would've had a good stake but they suckered me into a winner takes all hand and I lost it all."

"I thought I taught you better poker playing."

Kid stopped to point a finger at Heyes. "I played just fine! Just shouldn't have gone for all or nothin'." He turned and walked further out into the dusty street.

"I've told you, you don't go 'all or nothing' unless you can read the other players like open books."

"Well, I could read half the players. And anyway I didn't have the paper money in."

Heyes shook his head. "I see more lessons are needed."

Curry dead stopped suddenly again to turn frowning, almost causing the dark haired one to walk into him. "I had two pairs! Jacks and Queens. What are the odds someone else would have Kings and Aces?"

"It's…"

"Do NOT tell me the actual odds unless you wanna get hit." Again, the trek across the street started.

"Fine then. Sounds like somebody might have been stacking the deck."

"Couldn't see any evidence of it. They got the second ace as their last card. You could come with me next time, see if you spot anything."

"You do realize lots of hands will beat two pair don't you?"

"Yes, I do. But I was fairly sure the others didn't have anything that great. Except maybe the one player."

"Yeah. The one that beat you."

"Yeah. I know. Thanks for the reminder," Curry growled.

"You're welcome," Heyes said in that annoying, semi-upbeat voice.

"Ain't like it made much of a dent in our finances." By this time, Kid had started grumbling. His partner was starting to get on his last nerve.

"Maybe not, but it could've INCREASED our finances had you known what you were doing."

"It would have increased our finances if I hadn't gone for that last game."

"See, you gotta know when to stop," Heyes said matter of factly.

"Which I KNOW so you don't need to TELL me." Curry's blue eyes were starting to see red.

"Okay, I won't tell you."

"Good."

"I won't tell you that you shouldn't have gone for that last game."

"Heyes…"

"Won't say a word about it."

A more pointed warning was given. "Heyes..."

"Not one word that you should've stopped before that last game."

The fast draw's hands flew fast in the air as he looked toward the heavens while rolling his eyes. "Heyes! Shut. Up. I WILL flatten you. I ALREADY feel rotten about it. You don't need to make it worse!"

"What are you getting proddy at me for? I didn't play that last game."

Kid turned on his partner with the speed of a Texas twister. The next words he said were emphasized with a poke into Heyes' chest with his trigger finger on each one. "One. More. Word."

Said partner's expression was one of innocence. "About what?"

Blue eyes bore into brown ones. "You KNOW what."

"Well, quit bringing it up."

"So…" Poke in the chest. Shut..." Another, harder poke. UP!"

"Fine. I'll... Shut... Up…"

Curry gave Heyes a hard look. "Fine. Let's go back and get a drink." Curry swung around to head back toward the saloon with the human aggravation following on his heels.

"Okay. Maybe that bunch is still playing poker and I can get your money back."

At that comment, Kid completely lost his temper at the prodding and turned around quicker than lightning. If Heyes wasn't quick, he would get hit.

But, the ex-outlaw leader ducked at the last second. "See, that's why you lost. I could read you like a picture book."

Curry 'had' decided to just push Heyes down on his backside at the last second when he ducked. He was just going to leave it at that but his cousin's irritating, constantly running mouth made him bend and actually put Heyes on the ground. He straightened and pointed down in a threatening manner. "I tell ya what you're gonna read now. You're gonna read that if you come near me before I have three drinks in me you are gonna regret it!"

Heyes looked up. "How're you going to pay for them?"

"I. Have. Cash." The blond left him sitting there in the street before he did something he'd regret…much later.

"You sure? Thought you lost it all?" Heyes got up grinning and dusting himself off.

Good thing for his partner that Kid was a fast walker when he wanted to be because honestly, he didn't need to be pushed right then or he might have drowned Heyes in a water trough.

A thought went through the dark haired head. 'Bet he don't have enough money...'

Kid walked back into the saloon and up to the bar. 'That dang Heyes. He just never knows when to QUIT.'

Heyes walked into the saloon, sidled up next to his cousin, and just looked at him.

Curry put a dollar on the bar and ordered two drinks for himself. He refused to look at the jerk in the black hat standing beside him.

'He can't ignore me all day.'

'I can avoid lookin' at you longer than you can stop talkin'.'

Finally, Heyes broke the silence. "So, they in here?"

He was pointedly ignored until the two drinks were gone. "You say somethin' mister?"

"Are they in here?"

Kid finally looked at him, thinking. Eventually, he jerked his head to the back corner.

"Want me to get your money back?" Heyes asked sincerely without sarcasm.

"If you don't talk about it now or later, sure."

"You know I can keep from talking about something if I want to."

"No, actually, I don't know that."

"Well, now you do 'cause I just told you."

"Nope. No, still don't know it as I've heard it before and seen it proven to be UNtrue."

"I never talk about that train to Columbine."

"Just did."

Heyes frowned then quickly come up with an excuse. "JUST to prove a point. That I DON'T talk about it." His expression turned to lecture mode as he held up a finger. "So that don't count as talking about it."

"Go play if you want. Just leave me alone." He would've liked to have just enticed a saloon girl into a 'distraction' but didn't because he wanted to have Heyes' insufferable back.

"Did I upset you?"

"Not yet, but I have faith in you, Heyes. You're naturally good at it."

"But you said to leave you alone. You know you get in trouble when I leave you alone."

"Heyes. Go get in that game before I knock you flat."

Heyes held his hands up in mock surrender and left to get in the poker game.

Curry ordered another beer and repositioned himself to watch the game and intervene if it became necessary. And Heyes was on such an irritating roll today, it probably would.

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An hour later, Heyes walked back up to the bar. "Look what I got." He held the money out for Kid to see and handed it over.

Curry raised his eyebrows as he looked. "All of it?"

"Most of it."

"Good." The blond gunslinger handed his partner a beer before putting his money in his pocket.

"Thanks."

Kid didn't ask about the game or if anyone was cheating. He knew his cousin would tell him. "No problem."

Heyes downed half the glass in one drink. "What say we finish these drinks and get going?"

A curly haired head nodded. "Fine."

The rest of Heyes' glass was emptied in another gulp. "Like, now."

Kid glanced at him as he finished his own beer. "Any particular reason for the rush?"

"No...no...just ready to get going."

Curry stared with narrowed eyes , trying to gauge him.

"You done?" Heyes was avoiding looking into the blue, suspicious, penetrating orbs.

"Yeah... Heyes, what's goin' on?"

"Nothing...just ready to get on the road."

"Then why ain't ya lookin' at me?"

"Because I'm watching the back door. Let's go."

"And why are you watchin' the back door?" Kid started looking toward the back as well for trouble brewing.

"WHY are you not moving? I'm ready to leave." Heyes pushed his hand forward in an exaggerated gesture and started walking casually, but swiftly toward the batwing doors.

His partner moved with him, ready for a shootout, an ambush, an arrest, whatever it was.

"'Bout time."

"Tell me what's really goin' on, Heyes," the alert gunslinger said low and through his teeth as he undid the loop on his holster, prepared to draw, and/or shoot, if necessary.

Heyes sighed as he walked, hating to have to tell this to his cousin. "One of those men back there was asking the usual questions, 'Where you from? Are you passing through? What's your friend up there staring at?'… so I told him the usual story about us just passing through, that you were getting ready to marry the mayor's daughter...you know. Well, turned out the town I named where the mayor and his daughter lived just happened to be where that guy is from and he just happened to be the mayor's SON and was very upset to learn that his sister was getting married without him knowing about it. Said he was going to go see if it was the truth and if it wasn't, he was going to come back here and, well…, it wasn't good, so let's GO."

Kid stopped in his tracks for a long pause right outside the doors. Then laughter started as they headed for their horses. By the time they both climbed into their saddles, he was laughing so hard he could barely sit up straight.

"SHUT UP! HOW THE HECK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THERE WAS AN ACTUAL TOWN NAMED POSSUM GRAPES?!"

That just made Curry laugh harder. "Oh Heyes...thanks! I was really in a mood. You just made everything better!" Tears were in his eyes from the loud, even harder laughing.

"I SAID SHUT UP!" Heyes slapped the reins to get out of town before the Possum Grapes Mayor's son came back and beat the crap out of him for talking and lying about his sister.

Kid nudged his horse with his heels to catch up and ride side by side with his red faced partner. "Oh 'I' know how to shut up about things, Heyes! If I can stop laughin' long enough!"

"I hate you sometimes."

Curry grinned over at him. "No ya don't. Oh man. Y'know, I've TOLD you about the mayor's daughter thing…," he smirked as they galloped away.

"Why don't you go back there and deal with that guy then?! When he stood up, he was two feet taller than me!"

"I mean, don't worry, though, Heyes. I won't go on about how you shouldn't tell those kinds of lies!"

"Next time I'll tell the truth then! 'Oh I'm Hannibal Heyes and that's Kid Curry. We're just passing through trying to get some money'…" Sarcasm and aggravation just dripped from his words.

"No, you're right. Stick with Possum Grapes!"

"Shut. Up."

"Maybe the sheriff has a daughter you can get engaged to."

Heyes gave Kid a dark, brown eyed glare and slapped the reins again to pull ahead of him.

Curry pressed his boots in once more to catch back up. "Ain't it annoyin' when someone just won't let somethin' go? Keep that in mind in the future!"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?!"

"Nope!"

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A/N - There actually is a community in Arkansas named Possum Grapes.