Notes:
This fic is gonna take place in the Identities Revealed AU, where the public was made aware of Franchouchou's identities and after a little bit of controversy, things are mainly chill now. It doesn't really affect anything in this story aside from allowing the girls to make zombie jokes and reference their previous lives without it being a big deal because things are just more fun that way.
A cutesy banner was on display. It had large text reading "Please wait. The stream will be starting soon!" along with chibi-ish illustrations of the girls from Franchouchou getting ready. In one corner a drawing of Ai was applying makeup to Saki to cover up her green skin. In another Lily was attempting to place Tae's head back on her shoulders. In the third, Yugiri was doing Sakura's hair up in a heart shaped similar to her own, much to the small Sakura's surprise. In the last was a tiny Junko was practicing her scales as Romero howled next to her. After a moment the place card disappeared and was replaced with a live feed of a professional studio set.
"Good morning!" A duo of voices cheered. Seated on a pair of chairs to the right of the frame was Ai and Junko. The two of them waved to the camera, greeting all their fans that had tuned in for their event.
"Welcome to our stream on the Franchouchou channel." Ai started "I'm Number 3."
"And I'm Number 4."
"It's nice to see everyone again so thanks for coming over to hang out with us today!" she spoke in her most upbeat idol voice. "We have something planned for today so here with us today is both Number 1 and Number 2," Ai gestured to the side.
On the other side of the frame was Saki reclining comfortably in another chair with her arm about Sakura. They waved in turn as they were introduced
"Let's give them a round of applause." Ai suggested. All around the room, their other groupmates clapped. Yugiri and Junko tried to be excited, but Lily made a deliberate show of clapping slowly and unenthusiastically. Tae hadn't been paying attention to the instructions. All together it was a lackluster response
"Wow, thanks guys." Saki commented sarcastically as Sakura smiled with chagrin. "Really feeling like a welcomed guest in my own group right now."
"So what are we up to today?" Sakura tried to set Ai up.
Ai then passed the buck to Junko, "why don't you tell us, Number 3?"
"M-me?" Junko asked in surprise. She looked around the set for clues before shyly admitting "You… you haven't told me yet?"
"Thank you for asking, Number 4." Ai carried on with an amused smirk. "Today we're playing the newlywed game!" she announced with jazz hands
"Oh that sounds fun." Sakura cheered with genuine glee.
"Is that why you've got us divided up by relationship status?" Saki inquired.
"Yeah. You know how much the fans like seeing even just like, the barest hints of any of us together." Ai explained.
Saki had to laugh. "Yeah, I do. Everything Number 2 and I stand next to each other I see gif sets and artistic renditions of it all over the internet."
Ai had to agree. "I know what you mean. If I so much as glance in Number 4's direction, everyone seems to think I'm pining for her longingly." she sighed girlishly to emphasize her point.
Saki pointed towards the camera accusatorily with a mischievous smirk, "That's right! We see what you guys post, you heathens."
"Granted, they're probably right. At any given moment in time, it's very likely I'm thinking about Number 4, but that's besides the point. I don't have to 'yearn', you guys. I'm already dating her."
"I think it's nice," Junko countered. "I didn't really expect to be accepted, either as a zombie or a homosexual. Having our fans be so outwardly supportive makes me happy." She smiled sweetly.
"You only think that because you don't spend enough time online to see the worst of what people do." Ai joked
"You are correct!" Junko said proudly. "I do not ever touch the computer if I can avoid it." She'd made her feelings very clear when Tatsumi got them all smart phones. She vehemently insisted upon being given a "dumb" phone. She did not want her phone to have the least bit of intelligence, thank you very much.
Ai chuckled at her. "Well we thought that we would indulge all of you and give you the couples content you've been starving for. And what better way to do so than pinning the two most popular 'ships' against each other to see who comes out on top."
"Can you tell me what I'll be doing?" Yugiri asked from her spot in between the two teams. "I have been handed many tiny cards."
"Yeah," Ai started, turning towards her. "So the newlywed game is a quiz given to couples where you ask them a bunch of questions and see how much they know about each other. You're going to ask us one of the questions you have on the cards and one girl from each couple will right down their answer on a white board." Junko and Saki held up the marker and boards they'd been given. Junko had drawn stick figures of her and Ai holding hands. Saki had drawn an unflattering picture of Romero. "Once they have their answer down, the other girl, in this case Number 2 and I, will try and guess their answer. If we get it right, we get a point. If we get it wrong, we get an earful from our girlfriends." Junko nudged her arm with a scoff, but Ai only grinned more. "And then afterwards we switch off who writes and who guesses."
"How lovely!" Yugiri cheered. "I'm sure both teams will do very well. I know how much you all care about each other." Both sets of couples smiled at each other.
"So yeah, we have Number 5 acting as judge and asking questions and Number 0 is going to be keeping score." The camera panned to the left to reveal Tae and Lily sitting on a studio couch off to the side with Romero on the floor next to them. Tae had been given a scorekeeping sheet of her own and a marker than she was trying to swallow. Lily, on the other hand, had a laptop in front of her. "We also have Number 6 here to look over the chat and tell us about your responses, so keep it family friendly or we'll send Number 0 after you." Ai warned jokingly
As if to invalidate Ai's point, Lily took her last moments on screen to dab quickly when her groupmates weren't looking.
When the camera was back in place, Saki expressed her impatience, "Well then let's quit yapping and get to it!"
Taking her queue, Yugiri picked out the first card on top of her stack and read it outloud. "What clothing does your significant other look best in?"
Saki and Junko promptly turned to their white boards and started writing. Waiting idly, Ai looked over at Junko affectionately, only to be called out by Saki. "Uh, excuse me, judge? I believe it is against the rules to look at the board before it is revealed. Number 3 is cheating." she whined incredulously.
Yugiri checked in suspiciously, "Number 3?"
"Shut up, she's holding it away from me. I couldn't see if I wanted to."
"Uh huh, how about we just see if you can keep your eyes off your girlfriend for at least 10 seconds, ok? The fans are right about you. You do yearn." she commented slyly just in time for Junko to finish and hold her whiteboard to her chest protectively.
"Everyone finished?" Yugiri double checked. "Alright, I believe that means it is now Number 3's job to guess the contents of Number 4's whiteboard."
"Assuming she didn't cop a peek!" Saki interjected
"Well," Ai pretended to ponder thoughtfully. "If it were me I would have written 'anything' because Number 4 looks adorable all the time." She shot her girlfriend a wink.
Junko giggled and rewarded her flattering with a quick kiss on the cheek.
Ai accepted it with smugness before continuing on. "Buuuuut, knowing Number 4 as well as I do I'm willing to bet she put down the grubby stuff I wear to rehearsal that sometimes lets my stomach peek out."
"Number 4?" Yugiri probed.
Nervously avoiding eye contact, Junko silently turned her white board around and held it in front of her face shyly. The answer was written in clear letters, "Workout clothes." The others had to snort at her timid behavior in light of the answer she'd given.
Ai looked at her with amusement. "You're so predictable." she negged playfully.
Junko peeked over the top of her white board to stick her tongue out at her indignantly.
From off camera, Lily added to the exchange. "It seems like the chat is in agreement. All of the lesbians are coming out of the woodwork to talk about your abs."
Ai addressed the camera with a disappointed look. "Do you all maybe wanna take a break from your computers to get a glass of water? You seem thirsty."
Junko turned her rude gesture to stick her tongue out at the audience with jealousy.
"What about you Number 1?" Yugiri changed focus.
Sakura put a finger to her cheek to think, "Personally, I really like Number 2 when she wears one of her biker jackets, but I don't think that will surprise anyone."
Lily called out from the side again, "We been knew!"
Sakura winced with insincere embarrassment. "As for her though… maybe she put down one of our idol outfits. I always really liked our first one, the red ones. I thought it flattered me well!"
Saki met Sakura's curious look with a mischievous grin. She started to turn her whiteboard towards Sakura so that she could read it before the rest of the room could. The camera caught sight of the letters "Noth-" before Sakura suddenly slapped the board back around to keep the answer hidden.
"Number 2!" Sakura yelled at her
"What?" Saki said back calmly, feinting ignorance.
Everyone else was silent, looking at her with unamused disappointment. Unfortunately for them, she only found their glares to be encouraging an dher grin didn't fade for a moment. She continued to play innocent, knowing that none of them could say outloud what she'd written. "What's the problem, guys?"
Yugiri took on a motherly tone and chided her delicately. "Franchouchou is a family friendly group, Number 2. We have children on set, so please be appropriate."
Lily berated her less delicately, "Or else we'll send Number 0 after you, remember!"
Tae growled threateningly.
"Alright, alright," Saki relented while still whining. "I guess I'm not allowed to give honest answers."
"Let's pick out another question." Yugiri suggested, moving things along. Junko and Saki passed off their whiteboards to their partners as she pulled out another card and read it aloud. "What was your first fight as a couple?"
"Oh dear…" Junko reacted as Ai started writing down her answer. "I'm afraid there's been a few, but I'm not sure which one would count as our first as a couple." Ai flipped her board over to show that she was done as Junko continued thinking out loud. "There was our disagreement about fan interactions before Saga Rock."
"The concert you almost didn't show up for, yeah" Ai supplemented, thinking the fans would find that detail interesting.
"Yes, but I'm not certain if that counts since we weren't a couple at the time." Junko argued only for Saki to interrupt.
"You two have literally always acted like a married couple!"
Ignoring her, Junko carried on. "There was also the Saga Arena fight-"
"That was the one that inspired Gekkou Survive." Ai tacked on another fun fact. "Although I don't know if we can consider that a fight because I had no idea what was going on. That was more just you fighting with me over nothing and me being confused as hell."
Junko shoved her indignantly without justifying herself. "I suppose I would guess whatever the first fight we had after we started dating was? If I recall correctly, it had something to do with one of us eating the other's leftovers?"
Ai shook her head gravely, "That one an ugly one."
"Yes, I'm not certain if we can ever go out for yakiniku again..." She admittedly before turning to Ai excitedly. "That's my final guess. Did I get it right?"
Ai flipped her white board with a sympathetic smile. In poor handwriting, it read "Saga Rock."
"Honestly, I didn't think about it as hard as you did." she admitted sullenly.
"But we weren't a couple yet." Junko tried to protest.
"I mean…" Ai shrugged reluctantly. "Saki's kind of right. We've basically always been a couple, way before either of us said it."
Junko pouted, "I suppose it might be a little true…"
Yugiri reached over to pat her on the shoulder supportively. "Number 2?"
Saki wore a puzzled look on her face. She dawdled for a moment before eventually asking. "Can I say no fights? Like does that fit the rules?" She looked between the others as they gave her strange looks. "Cause Number 1 and I bicker all the time but I don't think we've ever actually had like a real fight." She turned to Sakura for confirmation.
She answered by lifting up her whiteboard and reading the answer out. "No fights!" she cheered. She'd even drawn a smile next to it.
"Really? Not even one?" Junko inquired.
Ai pressed them doubtfully. "There must have been some spat or some time when you got annoyed with each other. There can't be no fights. We live with you after all.
Saki frowned at them with irritation. "You know, not everyone is as overdramatic and high maintenance as you two."
"What can I say?" Ai countered dismissively. "Passions run hot between us."
Junko nodded in agreement.
Another voice piped in. "The chat would like to know what else runs hot!" They didn't actually. None of the fans had said anything of the like. Lily had just needed a scapegoat to make her own crude joke without being caught.
Yugiri picked out another card for them to answer. "If we were to order a pizza right now, what toppings would your significant other request?"
"Oh this is easy." Sakura claimed immediately.
"Yeah, no kidding." Ai seconded.
"My, my," Yugiri tutted. "Everyone is so confident. Pizza is such a wonderful dish. You can add most anything to it and it will remain enjoyable. It's no wonder to me that it's so popular." she prattled on as Saki and Junko finished writing. "Everyone ready?" she checked. "Number 3?"
Without missing a beat, Ai replied, "Pepperoni and mushroom."
Junko barely waited to turn the board around to show it held the same answer. She did, however, take the time to draw numerous cutesy mushrooms around the words. She tilted the board back and forth to make them appear as if they were dancing.
"I kind of don't understand why you like mushrooms so much." Ai mentioned endearingly.
Saki attempted to provide the first possible reason, "It's probably because they grow on her when she gets depressed."
"That might be part of it." Junko admitted. "I don't know. I just think they're neat. They're friendly!"
"The mushrooms are what, dear?" Ai shot back with confusion and amusement.
Pulling the camera's attention towards her, Saki addressed the viewers directly. "Fun fact for the fans at home, the mushroom's on Number 4's head are edible and when Number 3 eats one sh-"
A hand forcefully slapped over Saki's mouth before she could finish. Ai accosted her angrily, "What's wrong with you."
In lew of commenting with her usual snark, Saki remained suspiciously quiet. After a second, Ai retracted her hand with disgust. "Ew, don't lick me, you idiot!" she cried with even more vexation. She smacked Saki in the shoulder attempting to wipe her gross saliva off on her. Saki fought back with pettiness and they quickly devolved into a slap fight.
Disregarding the girls' unimpressive brawl, Yugiri gave Sakura the floor. "Number 1, what do you think Number 2 would like on her pizza."
The girl in question hummed to herself thoughtfully. "I know the answer, but…" she trailed off with hesitation before speaking to Saki with surprising seriousness. "Number 2 is that information that you're comfortable with me sharing right now?"
Ai returned to her seat, making an "I'm watching you" motion to Saki as she went. Saki blew a raspberry back at her childishly before giving her girlfriend her undivided attention. "You know, 'm not sure, babe." Saki replied solemnly. "Not gonna lie, I'm a little scared of what will happen. Do you think our fans will still support me if they know?" She put an air of dramatics that Sakura mirrored perfectly.
"I don't know," Sakura responded with sincerity. "But I can only hope they accept you for who you are. Either way I still love you and I'll always be by your side." She placed a hand over her heart and held Saki's cheek in her palm, looking at her with adoration and devotion.
"Aw, thanks, babe." Saki took the hand caressing her cheek and held onto it. "Yeah you can go ahead and read me."
Sakura nodded her head in understanding and took on a remorseful tone as she revealed the truth. "The answer is pineapple."
Saki used her other hand to hold up her whiteboard, confirming that it did in fact say "Hawaiian pizza" decorated with tropical swirls. "It's true," she added. :I think it's good."
"Oh dear" Junko muttered with a others made similar shows of distaste.
Sakura piped up again to offer, "If it's any consolation, her second answer would be buffalo chicken." It was the more typical response one might have expected from Saki.
"Oooh, yeah," Saki agreed, starting to feel hungry. "That's good too, but I just like the touch of sweetness a little more. Just like you, babe!" She added cheerfully, pulling a giggle out of her girlfriend.
"Truthfully, I'm not sure I understand the controversy." Yugiri said, pulling the conversation back on track. "Fruit on pizza sounds delightful, but Number 6, what do the fans have to say?"
The young child winced at her computer screen. Yeesh. I'm not gonna sugar-coat it, Number 2. The response is not good." She shook her head gravely. "I don't know if your popularity is ever gonna recover."
"Dang," Saki responded. "There goes my spot as fan favorite."
Ai raised an eyebrow at her. "Your spot?" she challenged.
Yugiri flipped through the cards in her lap, looking for one of interest. "Here, I like this one." she eventually announced pulling a specific question from the stack. "What is your significant other's favorite pet name for you?"
Sakura and Ai set to work writing down their answers, finishing before too long. As per their routine, Team JunAi went first. Yugiri gave them the floor, "Number 4?"
"Well there are a great many things that I like to call Number 3." Junko started, putting her hands over her cheeks somewhat bashfully.
"A lot of them are kind of old-timey" Ai teased, leaning over her whiteboard.
"I assure you they were very modern during my time." Junko protested.
"Including 'turtle dove'?" she posed
Junko hummed to herself with discontent. "Perhaps not that one in specific, but I still think it's cute." she insisted.
"What about doll? Dreamboat?" She could go on.
"Hush you" Junko shooed her away as Ai snickered. "Out of all of them though, I think I would have to say that 'love' is my favorite. Because that's what you are to me, my beloved." She cooed the declaration affectionately, but instead of swooning, Ai looked at her curiously.
"It is?" she ask with genuine surprise.
"Yes," Junko confirmed once again. "Is that not what you put down?"
"No actually." She showed off her white board, which instead had "dearest" down as the answer. "I feel like I've heard you call me this way more often."
"Really? I mean I don't dislike it. I probably use it just as often…" She trailed off. "I suppose I'll have to use my actual favorite more often in the future then. I'm sorry, love." She apologized sadly, feeling as if she hadn't made her affections known well enough.
"No worries." Ai consoled quickly. "Honestly, I like all of the cutesy nicknames you give me."
"That's good then, because I don't plan to stop, turtledove." By this point the two had gradually gotten close enough that they might as well be snuggling into each other. They smiled sweetly and let their natural chemistry pull them into a small kiss.
For a moment they were in their own little world. It wasn't until Lily groanly loudly, "Gross!" that they remembered that they were in a room with many other people and were supposed to be doing a show. Very professional.
"Number 2, do you have a guess?"
Sakura weighed in cheekily before Saki could give her answer. "Alright, if you need a hit, you've already used it a dozen times today."
Saki scoffed at her affectionately, "Yeah, no. This is a breeze. Isn't that right, babe?"
Sakura's grin only widened as she turned over her whiteboard to show the same answer. "I'd have to say that it is!" She cheered enthusiastically
Resting her head on her hand casually, Saki remarked, "Yeah, because that's what you are to me, a total babe."
Sakura put a hand to her chest coyly. "Well thank you, dearest." she said poshly.
"But of course, belooooved" Saki matched her tone sarcastically, causing them both to descend into laughter.
On the other side of the room, Junko murmured audibly to her girlfriend. "I think they're mocking us."
With a blank face, Ai shook her head and tutted disappointedly. "How rude."
"Alright now, I think we have time for one round." Yugiri advised, shuffling through her deck to find a good question to end on. "Here we are. Everyone ready?" Saki and Junko prepared their boards for the final round. "If your partner could change one thing about you, what would it be?"
Ai was taken aback by the question. She saw both Saki and Junko begin to write answers with bewilderment. "Hey Number 5, can I see that question real quick?"
Their judge handed over the note card politely. Ai looked it over carefully, scrutinizing every detail and making it seem as if she were truly thinking very hard about the query. After a while of inspecting, she eventually grabbed the card by the top edge and promptly ripped it cleanly in two. Discarding the pieces, she turned to her girlfriend next to her and wrapped her arms about her wait. She pulled Junko into her lap for an enamored, loving kiss on the cheek.
The gesture made the timid girl burst into happy giggles as she graciously accepted the affection with the brightest smile she'd worn all day.
Holding Junko securely, Ai used a free hand to turn Junko's whiteboard around, already well aware of what the answer should be. From her fit of bubbly laughter, Junko read it aloud. "Nothing!" she announced joyfully.
"Absolutely," Ai confirmed wholeheartedly. "Not a single thing. Why mess with perfection?" She nuzzled her nose against Junko's familiarly as her partner hung her arms around her shoulders and hugged her tight.
"Jesus Christ," Saki had to grumble eventually. Addressing her own girlfriend, she complained, "Can you believe these two?"
"Aw, I think it's sweet." Sakura remarked, not sharing her partner's distaste.
The chat certainly seemed to like it. It's full of nothing but hearts and crying emojis." Lily commented.
"I wouldn't mind if someone said something like that to me." Sakura sighed, almost sounding forlorned. She then looked over at her Saki expectantly, "What did you put down, Number 2?"
Saki met her gaze for a moment and then appeared to become bashful. "Well now I don't really wanna say…" she mumbled.
Sakura's face grew concerned. "So there is something you would change about me if you could?" she asked with genuine worry.
Nervously, Saki tried to console her without giving too much away. "W-well yeah, but it's like… it's not a bad thing, alright?"
Unfortunately, she didn't prove very convincing. "How can it not be a bad thing?" Sakura's feelings were clearly hurt.
Saki desperately tried to think of a way out of things, "B-because it's…" but staring into Sakura's pained eyes proved too much for her. She groaned with exasperation before finally swallowing her pride for her girlfriend's sake. "Here, just look."
She let her see her white board, where she'd written down "Depression" as the thing she wanted to change about Sakura.
"Oh," her girlfriend said with surprise.
Still acting shy, Saki tried to explain herself, "I just, you know, figured it would be good to get rid since it bothers you so much. I've seen how bad it can get sometimes."
Sakura softened back up, saying "I think that's actually sweeter than what Number 3 said."
"Well yeah," Saki asserted more forcefully. "I mean I'm not gonna pretend like you're perfect. You got some things wrong with you just like I do, but that's what I like about you. They're just as much a part of you as anything else so I love them too and I'm gonna be with you through all of the good times and the bad times too."
"Saki, I…" Sakura was taken aback. She hadn't really expected Saki to have put that much thought into what she liked about her. In fact, she didn't know if she'd understood what it was at all. But hearing that she didn't need to be perfect, or even better than she already was, and that there was already someone who loved and accepted her the way she was were sentiments that resonated far more powerfully to Sakura.
With how quiet Sakura had gotten, Saki was starting to get worried that she'd said something wrong. Suddenly she started to look even more emotional and choked up than before and that made her even more worried. She was just about to apologize when her girlfriend leaned in and kissed her, much more passionately than even she would usually do in front of people. Even still, she didn't really get the chance to protest it.
A short ways away from them, they heard someone huff with annoyance. "You know that she answered the question wrong, right?" Lily pointed out. "She was supposed to say what you would change about her."
Without looking back from her partner, Sakura reached behind her and stuck out her middle finger to flip Lily the bird.
The young child gasped dramatically, clutching her pearls with indignation! "That isn't veRY FAMILY FRIENDLY, NUMBER 1!" she yelled before trying to tattle. "Number 5!"
Instead of coming to her defense, Yugiri merely looks over both pairs of couples with sisterly fondness. "Ah, young love." she sighed, feeling nostalgic. Lily felt betrayed by the only ally she had against the horny teenagers of the house, but Yugiri didn't abandon her entirely. "Number 0, with our last question asked, what is our final score?"
The camera panned over Lily and Tae's couch. At some point during the stream Romero had relocated from the floor to laying belly up on the back of the couch. Tae held up the scoreboard she'd been given to track the points. It wasn't clear which side of the board represented the team. On one end was a squiggly design with various round shapes surrounding it. On the other was a collection of scratchy looking markings of varieties size.
"Well there you have it everyone." Yugiri summarized. "I think that will conclude our game for newlyweds for today today.
Putting her show face back on, Lily added "If you liked watching us play then let us know and we might put Numbers 1 though 4 on the spot again! Send us more questions to ask besides the boring ones our stinky manager looked up!" she encouraged with impenetrable peppiness.
Tae also contributed an inhuman growl, reminding people to smash that like button, comment on their videos, and subscribe to see their future streams.
"Thanks to everyone for tuning in to watch." Ai said with a smile
And Saki finally closed them out. "See you all next time."
The members of Franchouchou waved their audience goodbye until the feed cut out and their stream ended completely.
Notes:
This fic is based on this submission ( post/661963988717928448/franchouchou-is-playing-the-newlyweds-game-for-a) I got on the Incorrect Zombieland Saga Quotes blog that utterly undid me the first time I read it. It's from this episode of the Game Grump's 10 Minutes Power Hour ( watch?v=Yp2FXUWW7fo) which I was already familiar with and happy to be reminded of. Originally I was just gonna copy most of the dialogue from it but honestly most of it didn't fit, so while you'll catch scraps of it, it's mainly original. That being said it was still fun af. I tapped out after 5 questions cause I couldn't really think of any others that would be interesting to answer, but if you have more ideas, gimme some questions. If I get enough of good ones that I can think of fun answers to then maybe I'll do a second round. Next time Lily can host and she can do as the grumps do and introduce pie as a punishment for wrong answers. She'll go mad with power
Or hell if the streaming idea is fun, gimme other shit for them to do. If I wanna copy the grumps I could make them play weird niche board games or try out low quality amazon products. Idk if that would be super entertaining though so I'll have ot rely on other people's ideas lmao