The stupid exam was tomorrow, but 75% of the dorm was sitting on the floor, talking, relaxing, and playing gobstones. The only one actually studying was the one- or, at least in his opinion- whose results mattered least.
Remus flipped through pages of his textbook and notes, lying flat on his stomach on his bed. And of course, all the other three boys were doing was distracting him from studying more.
"Will you guys shut up?" Remus snapped. "I'm trying to study."
"When are you not?" James snorted.
Remus held back a retort and turned back to his textbook and notes, only grunting in frustration.
"Come on, Moony, you've been studying for the past seventeen years," Sirius said. "Relax, will you?"
Remus gave him a look. "I turned sixteen less than three months ago."
"Then it's a hyper-bowl," Sirius said.
"Hyperbole," Remus corrected.
"Whatever. Exaggeration," Sirius said.
"What Padfoot means," James said, "is that you should stop stressing. Relax a bit and you'll do better on the test."
Remus wanted to say James was just looking for an excuse not to study (and he probably was), but he did have a point.
"I'm not stressed," Remus said.
Peter snorted. "Yeah, and the sky isn't blue," he said sarcastically. Peter had recently discovered how fun it was to be sarcastic, and was annoying the hell out of everyone. "We're all nervous. Even Prongs."
"Am not!" James said.
Sirius and Peter gave him a look.
"Fine," James said. "Yes, I am. Happy?"
"But I'm not stressed," Remus said. "I'm... distracting myself."
"From?" James asked. As if on cue, all four boys' eyes traveled to the first-quarter moon outside the window. "The next full's not for another three weeks. Are you still sick?"
"No, it's just..." Remus sighed. "It's not important."
The other three boys stared. It was obvious they wouldn't stop until he said something.
Remus pushed the notes and textbook aside. "I... sometimes I wonder about... well, every time I feel stressed, I'm reminded that it doesn't matter how well I do. The stupid test doesn't matter."
The other three boys stared again, but this time in shock more than anything.
"Okay," Sirius finally said, then, as if he'd only heard the last part, added, "Who are you, and what have you done with Remus Lupin?"
Remus smiled a little bit. "Really?"
He'd been about to say, "Seriously?" but remembered who he was talking to, and he really wasn't in the mood for a pun at that moment.
"But what do you mean?" James asked before Sirius could answer. "These exams matter. If we fail, we don't get into the class the exam was about."
"True," Remus said. "But... every time I get stressed, I ask myself what all this is for. Going to school in the first place. Learning all this. Because when am I ever going to use it? What am I ever going to use it for?"
Silence.
"School is supposed to prepare you for whatever job you have afterward. But... it's not going to be like that for me. I'm not going to have a job. Even... even if they don't suspect, even if it's a muggle job, I'll still be out for a few days once a month. And it gets worse as you get older, too, so I won't be able to work for longer and longer... and it's not like there'll ever be a cure. Nobody cares about people like me. So what does it matter that I get all of the O.W.L.s? Nobody will look at that, because I'll never be able to have a job. It doesn't matter. The stupid test doesn't matter."
Again, silence, but finally James spoke up.
"Well, there is one good part about you coming to school," he said. "Us."
"I know," Remus said. "That's the only... real thing that I feel like I'm ever going to get out of this."
"But we've helped you, during the fulls," Peter said. "You're a lot healthier now!"
"Yeah, with us around, your transformations have been a lot easier on you," Sirius agreed.
"And we'll stick with you," James said. "But also. What about being a tutor? Those are pretty flexible hours, and you tutor the younger students all the time. You're pretty good at it, you know."
"I guess," Remus said. The first words he'd said, we'll stick with you, made Remus wonder. Because he knew it'd only be a matter of time before they stopped trusting him. Nobody trusted a werewolf.
"Also," Sirius said, "what if you taught here? Dumbledore let you in once, why not again?"
Remus shrugged. "I guess," he said. "But you guys figured this-" here he gestured to himself and then the window- "in less than a year and a half. I won't take any chances."
"Well, whatever happens," James said, "you know I can lend you some money, right? I've got a fortune."
"You really don't need to," Remus said. "But... thanks."
"No problem," James said. "And like I said, we're sticking with you, especially on the fulls. And if someone insults you, they insult us, too."
"Yeah!" Peter said.
"Agreed," Sirius said, grinning. "Now. Get over here and join us in the game. You need to relax too, you know."
Remus pushed himself up and walked to the center of the room. "Alright, then."