CHAPTER 1

I woke up in the arms of the man I love: Dimitri. This morning was very similar to most mornings: when I woke up, Dimitri was already awake, watching me. As I looked back at him, looking at that gorgeous face, so many emotions filled my heart. And then, the same thought came to my head. Not an unpleasant one, but one that excited and terrified me at the same time. This was something I've been thinking for a while, and I guess I made up my mind. So, I told Dimitri:

"Hey, Comrade. You know, 10 years ago was when we… after everything we went through, we could finally, truly be together without anything keeping us apart. I am so happy with you. You made me feel the happiest, the most amazing and most loved woman in all these years, and I finally decided that want… more."

I thought I was sure but even I could hear the hesitation in my voice. Dimitri heard it too and gave me a surprised look but didn't pressed me to continue. However, I knew I needed to.

"I know it was horrible what happened with you. You becoming Strigoi and all the pain you dealt with afterwards. But because of that, we've been blessed with the chance of having a child. Together! And I've decided that's what I want."

Dimitri kept just looking at me. Nothing on his face. I was amazed that he could still hide his emotions even after 10 years. I wanted him to say something, though. I needed him to have a reaction. So, I told him almost hysterical.

"Dimitri! What do you think? You're scaring me. Say something!"

I guess after that something woke inside of him. He was just… startled. "I… Rose, I never thought you would say something like that."

"Me neither!" I tried to calm myself... but I was still a little hysterical.

"Well, you have no idea how happy I am right now." He started and I could see joy and relief all over his face. "I've always wanted kids, but never thought I could have them… Then I met you, and there was no chance of us having a child. I was happy with that, I just wanted you, you're my life. But then Adrian and Sydney said that we could. I didn't know if you wanted it or not, and I didn't want to pressure you, but I kept hoping, hoping so much that someday you would. Because that would make me that happiest man ever, even happier than I already am, and that is more that anyone could ever count."

A silent moment past between us. I couldn't find the words to respond his declaration. It was everything that I dreamed and more. But I wanted him to know how delighted I was. I looked into his eyes, hoping that I could express these unspoken feelings, and there I saw so many emotions: happiness, love, affection, and… doubt?

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you doubting that?"

"Oh Roza, you can always see right through me. It's not doubt exactly but I'm afraid you can have second thoughts and the baby will raise a lot of questions."

"I won't have second thoughts, I've been thinking about this for a long time. I know it was a hell of work for you to take me to the altar, but we got married eventually and I'm glad we did, I love having you as my husband. I was young, that's all."

"Aren't you young anymore?"

"Hey! Watch it, Comrade! In St. Vladmir's you said that our age difference wouldn't mean so much in ten years. You can't lecture me about age anymore."

We both laugh. However, what he said was still in my mind.

"About the other thing, I'm worried because the baby is definitely going to raise a lot of questions. We have too visible lives, we won't be able to hide it and I don't know what to do, but we'll figure it out. Right? Like we always do."

"Yes Roza, like we always do." He kept a smile in his face and came even closer to embrace me. "I will protect you and the baby when it's time. I won't let anything happen to you both." He kissed my forehead, and I was certain that these promises were absolutely true.

More than a minute had gone by before Dimitri spoke again. "We can always say the pregnancy wasn't in the usual way, a donor maybe." He looked uncomfortable saying that.

Really, it would be easy, that kind of pregnancy were rarely done by our race, but it would provide a safe explanation for us having a baby. However...

"I don't want to say that! If we are doing this, I want people to know that this child is yours and was conceived by the expression of our love for each other."

"I thought you would say that, and I don't want that either. But I can't help but be worried, I know what people do with things they don't understand, like with me when Lissa brought me back." His face grew sad, even all these years later that was a difficult subject for him. I immediately try to soothe him.

"I know, I know. It was horrible how they treated you, they won't do that to our baby, though. I won't let them! No matter what, I won't let them!" His sad face changed completely, and it was alight. "And also, Lissa will help us." I continued to reassure us both.

"Yes, you're right. We'll be able to keep the baby safe and I will love him or her so, so much."

"Comrade, you have a reputation of the Russian warrior god to keep. Be careful or people will think you became soft." I joked.

"I don't think having a kid will ruin my reputation, the same way maternity won't ruin your reputation of reckless trouble sicker." He teased me back.

"Yeah, we both have pretty solid reputations. Poor child, I hope we don't cause him or her to much trouble."

"The baby will be part you and part me, it'll be able to handle anything."

"Of that, I'm sure!" This conversation was making me really maternal and stupid, I needed to go back to myself. Looking at those dark loving eyes, I couldn't hold myself back anymore, I just wanted so badly to kiss him and try to make a baby right then and there.