She often regarded me with those eyes, those crystalline eyes, so deep, so pale, so knowing.

~o.o~

I was overwhelmed the day I became an apprentice, overwhelmed by the cheers ringing in my ears, by the sweet scent of greenleaf wafting into ThunderClan's stone hollow, promising plentiful prey, by my name.

I was a slow kit like the turtle that gave me my name, Turtlekit, a small defenseless kit born as leafbare raged overhead. But like the turtle, I was lucky.

I was doted on by an entire family of clanmates, guided pawstep by pawstep into new territories, across streams and through briars and brambles that tugged uncomfortably at my pelt. I'd blink and there'd be a supportive face around every corner, eyes shining with hope.

Who knew that the hope of another could weigh so heavily on one's shoulders.

But despite all this hope, all this guidance, all this— love, there was one thing off that I couldn't put my paw on. It was like there was an extra pair of eyes, a gaze burning on my back so intense it seared the fur off my shoulders, a presence reaching out, whiskers away.

Many times I'd be hunting with my mentor Pinestripe when I'd turn around suddenly, peering into the forest, seeing only streams of greenleaf sunlight and the leaves in the trees rustling in the breeze.

Yet this thing— this pervading sense of being watched, it was more than the forest, more than my clanmates' gazes. It was this great mystery, the last of a more grandiose time, swirling with the knowledge of the stars, of light and darkness, of winds and skies across the reaches of the land.

And it was so close to me, so close.

~o.o~

Her eyes were like diamonds but with a different name, a name that could only describe something that was more perfect, more eternal.

~o.o~

Pinestripe was responsible. He never let me out of his sight. I was his first apprentice, but he was a focused and dedicated warrior, teaching me everything that he knew, and reminding me of the things that I didn't.

On a hunting assessment, he was right there, a dark gray tabby pelt flashing through the trees, or a fluffy tail hanging from the widespread branches of a sycamore. If I did a hunting crouch wrong, or my tail twitched in excitement, he'd call from his perch, scaring away the prey.

Yet I didn't see him now. I fell into my hunting crouch, smooth as a snake, eyes set on the gray mouse sniffing the ground beside some dense brambles. I was so focused, I didn't notice Quartzpaw's mew, like birdsong, ring out behind me.

"Mousedung, Quartzpaw, you made me lose it!" I snapped, turning to face the icy white she-cat. She blinked her pale green eyes at me innocently.

"You can always find another one." She meowed coyly, tilting her head to the side. "Where's Pinestripe?"

"Around." I answered curtly, still annoyed about the mouse. I lifted my tail indignantly into the air. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some hunting to do."

As her face fell, something like pity stirred in my chest, and I sighed. "It's okay, Quartzpaw. You didn't know. Maybe we can hang out later?"

She nodded happily, then disappeared into the forest.

As the days and moons passed, I found myself meeting up with Quartzpaw more and more. It was never in any place in particular. I'd just be hunting, or patrolling, when she'd leap into view, splaying her paws playfully. When she was around, I'd feel so alive. Her happiness at seeing me was so infectious I could feel it bubbling in my chest like a swiftly flowing stream, coursing over stones and hills. While the days training with Pinestripe, patrolling, and hunting seemed to bleed together in the mundane gray that was characterizing the incoming season of leaf-fall, the time with Quartzpaw brought life and color to the otherwise drab forest.

Her eyes were a green fire, her pelt like sparkling frost. When I was with her, I ceased to be the clan's kit Turtlepaw, who was constantly fussed over, who couldn't do a hunting crouch right, who despite everyone surrounding her felt loneliness so profound, she wanted to screech from the treetops.

I was someone more.

~o.o~

Without her, the wind rattled uselessly in the branches, like dry twigs snapping beneath paws.

~o.o~

I buried my face into my coarse nest, Pinestripe and Whiteberry the deputy's harsh words still ringing in my ears. Instead of hunting by the WindClan border like I'd promised, I'd spent the whole day tree-climbing with Quartzpaw, who could go impossibly high. As much as I tried, I could never catch up to her as she disappeared into the thinning boughs, obscured by the falling leaves. Then of course the lecture had devolved into how worried they were about me, and how they only wanted what was best for me, that they'd—

I sat up, eyes still brimming with tears. All they saw in me was poor little helpless Turtlepaw. A sorry little burden, a lonely little kit holed up in the apprentice den.

"Are you awake?" Her whisper came like a breeze wafting through the treetops. Yet the night was still, moonless, yet thousands of stars glimmered between the branches of the apprentice den.

I turned to stare into her crystalline green eyes, those eyes who knew me more than anyone else did. She beckoned wordlessly for me to follow with her tail, and I rose, nosing out of the den. Her soft steps were in time with the beating of my heart, with my breaths. Soon we were out of the camp, and the night sky spread out like a map of the entire territory, landmarks pricked by stars. They distantly watched our progress.

I opened my mouth to ask where we were going, but found that I no longer had any words to say. Brief panic swirled in my stomach, and I ran faster, trying to get Quartzpaw's attention. But she was so far ahead, and though my paws desperately pounded the ground, I didn't seem to be getting any closer.

Just when I thought I was going to lose her forever, Quartzpaw stopped, then turned around, staring at me with those knowing eyes. I froze. I needed—

I—

I… I couldn't remember. Like reaching for a leaf that's a little too high, I reached for my memories, but nothing came forth from my mind. I opened my mouth in a silent cry of betrayal.

She walked up to me, her pelt glowing like— no, her pelt was glowing. The moon wasn't in the sky, it was her. She'd stolen it. Her laugh echoed eerily through the fading woods— were they fading, or was I?

I stared into those eyes that had watched me since birth, who had waited for this.

Very.

Moment.

Ice filled my veins. Perfect stillness, true tranquility. It was clear now.

When I had once felt joy, I now felt nothing but fear.

Then, nothing.

We smiled.