She didn't know what to do. She had said she'd call him but she just really wanted to see him.

Should she go? Would things change between them in a blink of on eye? Did she want them to change?

She had all these thoughts running through her mind she hadn't realized she'd gotten off the couch and had her shoes already on.

The sight made her laugh. Seems her mind and body already knew what she'd do.

--

She'd stood in front of his door for what seemed like an hour. She was nervous, that was just the cold hard truth.

She has loved Elliot for a long long time but never out loud. Always in the quiet of her mind.

"It's just talking. You just gotta talk," she whispered.

Before she had time to talk herself out it she knocked on his door.

--

He hadn't heard from her yet. He couldn't say he was shocked. He knew her. She was scared, but if the truth is coming out here, so is he.

He had only really been with Kathy. And when they'd had married he cared deeply for her, but she never made him feel like this.

This? What is this feeling?

His skin was clammy. His heart felt like it was in his stomach beating a million times a minute and yet barley beating at all.

This is something he has never experienced.

Was this the way it is supposed to feel?

Did he love her that much?

The mere mention of her name made him want to smile. The thought of her with anyone else made him see red. The sound of her laughter almost brought him to his knees.

Yeah, I love her that much.

He was smiling at his thoughts when he heard the knock at the door.

He answered without looking. He felt her, he knew it was her.

She was wearing sweats and and old tee but god she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

He just couldn't stop staring.

"Elliot!"

That snapped him back to reality.

"What? Oh right, come in," he gave her a quick smile and he moved to the side so she could step in.

--

When he had answered the door he didn't say a word. Just looked.

Started right at her eyes, and roamed every inch of her body.

But she was doing the same. He was just to engrossed with her to notice.

He wasn't wearing a shirt. Just pajama pants. Very thin pajama pants. She could see the outline of his length, and she shivered.

The movement brought her back and realized he was still staring, she smiled quickly before she spoke his name.

As he moved to let her in, her hand gently grazed his thigh. She could've sworn he had moaned.

"I know I said I'd call but-"

"No I'm glad you're here."

He motioned to the couch.

As they both sat she reached into her pocket. She held the letter to him.

"Did you read this?"

"No," he answered, shaking his head, "she asked me not to. Said if you wanted to share it with me you could, but for right now it was just a thing that belonged to you two."

"El, do you want to read it?"

"Only if you want me too. I have a feeling I know what most of it says." She didn't miss the smirk.

Cocky son of a bitch but she smiled. "How do you know?"

"Because she told me to give it to you when I was ready. And after our talk in Rome, I knew what she meant. So I know it says somewhere in there that I love you. Have loved you for some time now. How I wanted to be a good father and love their mother but that loving her never came even before you but loving you was second nature."

He didn't miss the tears in her eyes and how she was trying like hell to keep them from falling.

"Elliot, why are you saying this now? Now? Your wife is dead. I have a kid. You have kids without their mother, and you're telling me you love me? Why?" She was full on crying now.

He made a slight move towards her on the couch but didn't comfort her yet. He knew her.

He took a deep breath as he said "Liv, my wife is gone, and my kids loved their mother, but they also love you. They are grown adults, most of them. They know about life. They know about you. And me."

She looked at him puzzled.

He laughed a little, "I think everyone in our world knew I loved you before I knew or at least could admit to myself."

"Elliot this changes everything. Changes us."

That's when he moved to her. He got up from the couch and sat on the coffee table in front of her. He hands on her knees.

"No. We are still the same. Liv, look at me."

She tilted her head so eyes were staring into his.

Those eyes. She could look at him forever.

"How do you know you love me? I mean really, we shared each other's space for a long time, Elliot. We know each other sure, but how could know something like this?"

"Olivia, I know that I love you because there isn't a day that has went by that you are not the first thought in my mind. Then and now. Your smile is contagious. Your laugh is music. Your eyes, damn those eyes make me want to melt. You are smart, kind, empathetic, and my god you are beautiful. The most beautiful woman-"

"Elliot, stop."

His hand was cupping her jaw now. And his mouth was close enough but still so far away.

"Liv, don't do this. Don't run."

He leaned back and removed his hand, but still looked into her eyes.

"Let me ask you something, Liv. But you gotta be a hundred percent honest. And remember I know when you are lying." He winked at her which earned him a small laugh.

She loved that he could still make her laugh even at a moment that scared her. "What?"

"We've been so busy talking about me loving you that we've never asked, do you love me?" He looked nervous.

It was in that moment that Olivia realized he was just as scared as her but he was the one facing the fear. If he could do it, why couldn't she? So she did. She faced the fear head on.

"Liv?" She had been quiet for a while.

She looked at him differently this time, there was a spark in her eyes and a slight smile on her face when she said, "Ask me again."

He couldn't help the smile that came from his face, "Liv, do you love me?" He tone husky and low.

She started by nodding her head, and took a deep breath as she said, "I love you, too, El."

--

They just looked at each other for the longest time after she had told him.

Just looking into each other eyes. Roaming down to the lips and a quick glance down each other's bodies.

Olivia decided to make the first move. She moved to the edge of her seat on the couch. She parted his legs a little with her own, as she reached her hand to cup his face.

"Liv."

She moved her finger to his mouth and held it there as she held his eyes with hers.

"Will you kiss me, Elliot?"

She could feel him swallowing hard. And as she looked into his

He reached and took a hold of her wrist and removed her finger from his lips. He intertwined their fingers and looked at her with a look of lust and love, one she had never seen before.

"I've waited forever to hear that come from you, is it crazy that it makes me nervous?"

She laughed softly as she looked down at her feet and shook her head no.

"God, Elliot. I have never been so nervous in my whole life. I've loved you since before I can even remember."

That was all he needed. He grabbed her chin and lifted her eyes to meet his.

With his hand cupping her cheek and his eyes never leaving hers, she dipped his mouth to hers.

Right before he kissed her for the first time, he said "I love you."

And his mouth was on hers.

He kissed gently making her moan into his kiss, opening her mouth to his. His tongue danced across her lips and teeth as if asking her permission to enter. But she didn't give it.

Instead she darted her tongue in his mouth and he gasp as if realizing she was real. He moaned as their tongues fought dominance.

He won. He caught her off guard when he brought his fingers through her hair and slightly pulled making her head pop up and her mouth open wider, giving him the access he do desperately craved.

They kissed until they both physically couldn't anymore. As they both pulled away, panting and grinning.

His forehead to hers, all he said was "wow."

She laughed, "just what I thought you'd say," she joked.

He laughed, but then lowed his voice and whispered in her ear, "just you wait, I'll have you saying wow soon enough."

A shiver went through her whole body, and she prayed he couldn't feel it.

"You need some water, cause I sure as hell do," he smirked as he got up.

She nodded up at him and he walked towards the kitchen, he stopped at the doorway, turned back to her.

"Liv,"

She turned to look at him, "yeah?"

He was grinning but she could see the lust in his eyes, "I felt that."

And he was gone. Leaving her breathless and speechless.