1. Father is dead
Standing outside the door, his palms sweating, he twists his fingers together nervously. He is contemplating knocking on the door. It's too early. It'll be extremely rude. He thinks to himself. But going back to his room just wasn't an option. He has tossed in his bed for hours. Wiping tears away from his cheeks in the dark. He just couldn't take it ache in his chest, the two thousand pound weight on his chest any longer. He didn't want to be alone. He lifted his hand and gently pounded his fist against the door.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Silence.
He tried again. Knock. Knock. Knock.
"Come in," the voice beyond the door quietly responded.
Spencer opened the door and stood by the entry. "Spencer, what are you doing up? It's almost two in the morning," Laura said as she sat up in bed, ruffling around with the sheets.
"I just wanted to check on you, Grandmother," Spencer replied unconvincingly.
"Spencer…"
"I- I didn't want to be alone," he shrugged.
She outstretched her arms and called him over. Spencer leaped in the bed and allowed himself to be enveloped by the warmest embrace and the sweetest smell. Love.
"I just can't stop crying. I miss him so much, Grandmother," Spencer softly admitted as he allowed tears to fall onto Laura's pajamas.
Laura tightened her embrace. "I know, Sweetheart, I know. I miss him too."
"I just want this pain to go away."
Laura kissed the top of his head. She sweetly removed his glasses and placed them on her nightstand. Laura moved down in the bed and Spencer curled himself into her side. A few moments passed and Laura whispered, "It will never go away. Your father was a huge piece of our hearts. That pain will forever be with us. But, we have each other. I promise you, Spencer, whenever you need a good cry or someone to talk to about your father, I will be here."
"Always?" Spencer asked.
"Always."
"Forever?"
"Forever, Sweetheart. Forever."
Spencer closed his eyes and allowed the comfort of his grandmother's embrace to allow him to rest for the first time in days.
2. France is Far
Spencer, Laura, and Kevin arrived home from Kelly's after their emotional talk and plans to accompany Spencer to France. They were leaving first thing in the morning to get Spencer adjusted to school and it's time change. They ordered pizza for dinner and finished packing all six of their suitcases before settling in front of the tv for one more family movie night.
"So, what's the movie tonight, Kiddo?" Kevin asked as he sat next to Laura.
"I'm torn between two great movies in the cinematic universe. Option one is
Star Wars: A New Hope. Forever a classic and is coincidentally about a princess, a rascal, and an orphan embarking on a new journey," Spencer said.
The adults laughed at his comparison. "And option 2?" Kevin inquired.
"Schindler's List."
"No. That movie is horribly depressing and a thousand hours long. I would rather watch Space Wars," Laura said.
"STAR WARS!" Kevin and Spencer corrected.
"Space Wars. Star Wars. Whatever. It's shorter and lighter. We have to get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow. I do not want to be dreaming about the atrocities of the Holocaust."
About halfway through the movie, they had to pause it because Kevin got a call from the hospital to deal with a final patient before he leaves for France. He left the room, leaving Spencer and Laura alone. Spencer turned towards his grandmother on the couch and softly said, "I'm already missing you and we aren't even on the plane yet."
Laura swiftly pulled him into her arms. "Can I tell you a secret?"
Spencer nodded against her.
"I'm already missing you as well."
"Really?"
"Really."
"I can call you every day, right?" Spencer wanted affirmation.
"Everyday and twice on Sunday if you like."
"What about the time difference? What if I have a nightmare and you are out to dinner? Or what if I feel sick when I wake up in the morning, you'll be asleep? Can I still call you then?" Spencer asked in a panic.
"Any time, Sweetie. Day or Night. I will always answer your call. You're my boy."
"And you are the best grandmother in the world."
Laura kissed him atop his head and squeezed him tighter, hoping her love for him was felt through her tight embrace.
"All good. Ready to press play again?" Kevin said as he returned.
3. Multiple Feelings
Spencer slammed his dorm room door shut and plopped angrily on his bed. "How dare he? How dare he show up and ask for my forgiveness? He wanted the money?! I wanted him! And he brings that bitch! Ugh!" Spencer complained aloud to his four walls. He pulled his phone out of his back pocket and dialed the one number he knew by heart. After two rings, he heard the one voice that could take his blood pressure down from one hundred to zero in a second. "I presume you saw your father."
"Hello, Grandmother. Yes, he surprised me. But what surprised me more is why that witch Ava Jerome was with him, parading around her wedding ring I might add, and not you?"
"I wanted to be the one to tell you in person, but your father is back now, Spencer, he makes the decisions. He wanted to see you and explain everything to you by himself," Laura gently explained.
"Well, he wasn't by himself! That tramp came with him and tried to not only get me to forgive him for abandoning me for money but to forgive her!"
He heard Laura sigh. "First, we do not call anyone a tramp, witch, or whatever colorful language you are using in your head. Second, you don't have to forgive him today, Spencer. You can take your time. I know I'm still angry with him."
"Really?" Spencer asked.
Laura replied, "Really."
"I feel guilty. I missed him so much these last three years. I felt like such an orphan. But then he shows up and tries to explain to me that he wanted the money, so I should just put on a happy face and forgive him. I don't know how to feel."
"I feel just as you do. I'm so happy my son is alive. I hope if you ever have children, Spencer, that you never, ever, have the pain of losing them. It is awful. However, I am so furious with him. He chose money over you. Who cares about revealing himself to me, LuLu, Alexis? We are adults. We can cope. I'm so angry with how he treated you. But I'm also incredibly thrilled he's alive. We are allowed to have multiple feelings, Sweetie."
Spencer softly laughed at her last comment. "Did Kevin teach you that?"
Laura laughed. "Kevin and a bunch of life experience."
"I still wish you came instead of Ava," Spencer revealed.
"Now hearing about how it went, me too. Also, I wish I could give you a massive hug right now and tell you everything will work out."
Spencer smiled. She could always read his mind and heart. "I could really use a Grandmother Hug right now. But the phone call is working wonders. I love you, Grandmother. I'll call you tomorrow."
"I love you too, Spencer. More than words can say."
4. Betrayed and Worried
Spencer, Esme, and Laura were sitting on the launch as it took them back to the mainland. Laura spoke up and said, "I'm assuming neither of you have anywhere to sleep tonight."
"We could get a room at the Metro Court," Spencer said.
Laura shook her head. "Nonsense. You have had an emotionally charged night. Come home with me. You can have your old room and Esme, you can sleep in the guest room."
"Are you sure, Grandmother? You don't have to do this."
Laura replied, "I want my grandson and his friend to come home with me."
Spencer offered her a grateful smile. "It's settled then. Thank you, Grandmother."
"Thank you, Mrs. Collins," Esme said in a sugary sweet, almost fake, tone.
"No problem."
A fifteen minute car ride later, the three arrived at Kevin and Laura's penthouse. Kevin was sitting on the couch watching the news as the three of them walked in. "Spencer, you show Esme where the guest room and bathroom are, while I fill Kevin in on what is happening," Laura explained.
After Kevin was filled in and everyone said their good nights, Laura found herself unable to sleep. Her thoughts were muddled with her son's crazy antics and her grandson's heartbroken feelings. She was sitting in the living room with the only light coming from the television, when she heard footsteps from the stairs. She turned and saw Spencer. "Sweetheart, it's one in the morning. I thought you would be dead tired after everything."
Spencer sat next to his grandmother and replied, "I can't sleep. My thoughts are going a million miles a minute."
"If you didn't have my smile, then just admitting your thoughts keeping you awake would be proof enough that you are my grandson."
Spencer chuckled and rested his arm across his grandmother's shoulders. Laura laid her head on his shoulder. What a change? She thought. Just a few years ago, he was resting his head on my shoulder, now mine is on his.
"Why would he do that to me? Scare me like that. Am I that horrible of a person?" Spencer asked.
"No! Spencer, not at all. I have no idea what was going through your father's head when he came up with such a ridiculous plan. I can't believe he would act like that."
"Like what? A Cassadine?"
"Yes," Laura admitted. "I can't help the blood that flows through his veins or yours. But I always thought my heart would prevail. I used to say all the time, out of all three kids, Nikolas was the most like me. He was gentle, kind, saw the best in everyone, wore his heart on his sleeve. Now, I have no idea where that version of Nikolas is. To pretend to stab you, accuse you of being the stalker. I'm just so upset."
Spencer's pulse increased and his hands began to sweat. If she only really knew. "Am I a Cassadine by heart or do you think your goodness will prevail in me?"
"You actually remind me a lot of young me. I was a mess. Constantly making trouble. Talking back. I wasn't this person of good and honor that you see today."
"Really?" Spencer asked in shock.
"Call up Nana Lesley. She'll tell you. Or heck, ask Scott Baldwin. I was a mess. So, that's why I tried to keep my kids and now my grandkids on a better path. Thinking with all of your hearts."
"I'll try to remember that. I'll try to remember that there's a bunch of you in me and let my heart do the acting. Not my Cassadine head. Because, Grandmother, I never, ever want to disappoint you."
"You never could, Spencer."
Spencer pulled his grandmother closer and prayed to any God that was listening that when she found out the truth, she would remember what she said on this night.
5. Someone New
After Nikolas bellowed in Spencer's face and banished him from Wyndamere, Spencer took himself, and begrudgingly, Esme, to Kevin's. Kevin opened the door to the surprise of the two young adults. Spencer explained everything. He was the stalker, Esme helped him, and Nikolas kicked him out in favor of Ava. Kevin nodded, silently moved aside, and allowed the two in. "Same arrangement as before. Spencer, you get your room, Esme, the guest room. But we will have ground rules. You both will get jobs. You will both go to classes at PCU. And you will both be home by six for dinner. No socializing activities. Is that understood?"
Esme rolled her eyes, but agreed. She swiftly excused herself, leaving Spencer with Kevin. "Is that understood?" Kevin repeated.
Spencer nodded. "Yes. Thank you." He began to walk up the stairs before turning back to Kevin. "Kevin?"
"Yes?"
"I tried calling Grandmother, but she's not answering. Do you know the numberof her hotel in D.C.? I would like to talk to her."
Kevin sighed heavily. "She's not in D.C. I have no clue where she is. She's in witness protection right now. The only time I hear from her is when she is permitted to call me. Sorry, Spencer. I wish I could find a way for you to call her. I know you need her."
Spencer was shocked at the information Kevin just revealed, but nodded in understanding and went to his room. He locked the door behind him because he just was not in the mood to deal with Esme tonight. As he laid on his bed, he found himself scrolling through his pictures. Angrily deleting pictures of him and his father, and having a sense of yearning when he sees himself and his grandmother. "Damn it, Grandmother. I really need you right now. My life has gone to shit," he said when he landed on a specific picture of him and Laura by the Eiffel Tower. He kept scrolling and landed on a picture of the only other person who truly ever cares to listen to him. To understand him.
Trina.
He quickly dialed her number and after two rings he heard, "Are you okay?"
Spencer smiled. No matter what shit he pulls, she always seems to care.
"Emotionally, no. Physically, yeah. I'm at my grandparents. Kevin is letting Esme and I stay, of course with a bunch of ground rules attached."
"Well, you need rules. It seems without your grandmother, you go a little crazy."
"That is true, though I think I'm finding someone else to be my rock when she's off the grid for a while."
"And who might that be?" Trina teased.
"I'm talking to her," Spencer admitted with the biggest smile on his face.
"Well, to be even compared to the honorable, legendary Laura, is an honor. So, thank you."
"In the shortest amount of time, you are up there with my grandmother with someone who just truly understands me, even when I make a mess of things."
"Well, that's what friends are for."
Spencer teasingly asked, "Is that all we are?"
"Maybe. Maybe not. Get your act together and we can see where this goes, Victor."
Spencer found himself laughing for the first time that evening.
Author's Note: Sorry for any grammar or spelling errors. Enjoy!