The other half of No.12 suggested we write one shots as practice, and while I struggle to finish chapter 5 of Pruning I thought I'd take the time to write some meaningless garbage. I happen to think Ebisu is a very sweet young man and it helps that I haven't watched Naruto in years.
The bar was always full on Friday nights, Shinobi usually didn't get the choice in when their missions ended and they didn't get weekend breaks, and yet Friday was almost the universally agreed upon day for Jonin as a whole to gather in the wealthier entertainment commercial districts of Konoha.
"A thousand Ryo says he can't." One Chunin said confidently.
"A thousand? That's chump change, I'll bet ten-thousand right now." Another Chunin said beside the first. Izumo and Kotetsu were the only two Chunin specifically invited to 'Jonin Night' at The Shady Bar, that wasn't what the bar was called but it was what everyone called it. Izumo and Kotetsu were also famous for losing all their earnings on 'Jonin Night'.
The subject for debate was currently on arm wrestling; several Jonin were gathered around a cluster of tables, for which those seated were in the middle of an intense conflict.
Anko Mitarashi and Morino Ibiki were sitting opposite each other, arms locked into place, a bead of sweat rolled off of Ibiki's scarred, bald head. He'd removed his head covering at the beginning of the match.
Ebisu, never being a man of few words, pushed his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose and scoffed.
"A fool's wager." Ebisu remarked, standing beside the famous Chunin guards.
Both Izumo and Kotetsu stared deadpan at Ebisu. "Haaa?" Two voices articulated in unison.
"I'm glad you asked." Ebisu replied, without hesitation, not at all deterred by the lack of actual response.
"You see, neither opponent employs any particular techniques, they're simply using their pure, masculine physique." Ebisu explained to the large group of Jonin who didn't ask.
Anko took the time to glare at Ebisu, who shivered slightly.
"So what? It's a fifty/fifty bet?" Kotetsu asked, earning a few groans from the crowded bar.
Ebisu chuckled, shaking his head.
"Oh my poor, Chunin friend." Ebisu laughed condescendingly. Ibiki's meaty hand slammed down against the table.
"The deciding factor for this bout, was who has been doing the most sparring and exercise… And Ibiki? He essentially works an office job these days, there was no way he could possibly match Anko's training regime, the only person who could beat her in terms of raw strength would be-" Ebisu was cut off by a table closer to the corner of the bar being shattered.
"-YOUTH!" Gai shouted exuberantly, his own opponent collapsing to the floor clinging to their forearm.
One Jonin held up a chalkboard and declared the semi final contestants. Those of note and favourites to win were obviously Gai and Anko.
Kotetsu and Izumo traded I.O.U slips in the background, long having since ran out of money to bet with.
Anko sauntered over to Ebisu who had returned to drinking a massive jug of beer, taking a seat behind Gai's table, getting the best seat possible for the upcoming match.
"Hey stranger~" Anko greeted him sweetly, leaning her elbows against the poor man's shoulders. Ebisu certainly felt the sudden weight pressed against the top of his head.
"Good evening, Anko-San." Ebisu replied stiffly as Anko took a seat beside him. "You're not too drunk now are you Anko-san, I'd hate to see you lose, so close to the finals." Ebisu remarked, more naturally.
Anko laughed, flexing her remarkably large biceps. "Me and my masculine physique will do just fine, thank you." Anko replied lightly. Ebisu hardly flinched at the way her eyes narrowed at him when she repeated his comment from earlier. He counted that as a win for him.
Anko 0 Ebisu 1
"I was thinking…" Anko hummed, circling her finger against the bar table and staring into Ebisu's round sunglasses. "Maybe you could teach me… Some of those techniques you were so confident about." Anko said suggestively. Ebisu's face turned red almost instantly at the insinuation that literally no one but him had made.
Anko 1 Ebisu 1
Ebisu composed himself with blinding speed and cleared his throat.
"What would you be suggesting exactly?" Ebisu asked, hoping that no one had heard his voice break mid sentence.
Anko smiled like the cold blooded predator everyone knew she was.
"Well, If you taught me something, I might feel… Generous. The winnings are pretty big tonight after all." Anko grinned.
Ebisu nodded, those terms were certainly acceptable, he hardly competed on nights he wanted to relax but he would certainly take whatever opportunity he got.
"The Semi Finals are commencing! Please can contestants be seated and audiences gather around in an orderly fashion!" The Jonin with the chalkboard shouted throughout the bar.
Ebisu stood up from his chair, graciously allowing the one and only Genma Shiranui to take his place opposite Anko. She looked worried for the briefest moment until Ebisu circled round and stood directly behind her. The Jonin with the chalkboard announced the beginning of the round and Anko and Genma clasped hands, the tension in their arms flared.
Between two seasoned veterans of physical combat, an arm wrestle took time to progress, Ebisu knew this because of his sensei, Genma knew this fact for the same reason, for they had been teammates, and their sensei had been none other than Chouza Akimichi, the Champion Jonin Arm Wrestler.
Ebisu's hand gently reached out and held Anko's wrist, this shocked the entire crowd who started booing, but both Genma and the appointed judge started shouting for silence. Ebisu whispered gently into Anko's ear. Anko's cheeks were dusted red ever so slightly as Ebisu backed away, but she certainly grew more determined.
Genma smirked however, undeterred.
"There's nothing you could've taught her that I don't already know, Ebisu-Kun." Genma smugly defiantly. Applying more pressure to his hold against Anko. "We were taught by the same incredible man! There's nothing you know that I can't apply better!" Genma declared, going in for the kill.
Ebisu chuckled, once again pushing up his teashade sunglasses up the bridge of his nose.
For dramatic effect.
Because of course.
Ebisu knew that.
Anko's hand dipped for the briefest of moments, before she roared intensely, digging her feet into the floor and tearing Genma's hand in the opposite direction than he'd intended, while also pulling his arm towards her body.
Genma instantly reacted by pulling back, pulling her hand towards his, Anko arm went slightly slack she almost got pulled out of her seat.
The judge shouted out immediately.
"You have disrupted the correct position required for the round! You're out!" The Jonin declared, slamming his hand down on the table.
Genma shot up from his seat and growled. "But she started- Oooo yooouuu." Genma realised what had happened, his glare was fixed on Ebisu.
Everything had gone according to Ebisu's predictions.
Anko jumped up from the table cheering, the rest of the Jonin crowd joined in, while a few shared the condolences with the sullen and defeated (emotionally too) Genma.
The crowd dispersed and Ebisu as well as many other Jonin bought the next round of drinks, the aged man behind the bar was practically salivating at the money that was changing hands, and filling his pockets.
Anko joined Ebisu at the front of the bar.
"That was a neat trick Ebisu-Kun~" Anko's voice lilted as she complimented the weedy man.
"It was only natural that my teammate would be prepared for anything I could teach you, so of course a counter-play was the only possible option." Ebisu explained, again, no one had asked.
Anko took a swig from a hip flask she'd hidden… Somewhere.
"Mhm, well… Only one more round to go huh?" Anko asked, ignoring the explanation.
Ebisu nodded, turning to survey the rest of the bar. There was a second smashed table in another corner of the bar so there were no prizes for guessing who the final contestant was.
A green spandex wearing beast took a stool directly in between Anko and Ebisu.
"You have no hope, Anko-Chan." Might Gai said, as he received a jug of beer from behind the counter, a pearly white grin never left his beautifully tanned face.
"You might not know the tale of the man who defeated Chouza Akimichi, however I know it well…" Gai said, looking directly into Ebisu's sunglasses. "... Because I am that man, that splendorous youthful beast!" Gai shouted, laughing to himself and glugging the beer down in a matter of seconds.
Ebisu clutched his chest, hoping to calm his heart.
His sensei, their sensei…
"He went easy on you. There's no other explanation!" Ebisu slammed his hand down on the bar counter.
Gai leaned closer to Ebisu, completely invading Anko's personal space, forcing her to lean back on her stool as she continued to finish the contents of her hip flask.
"Perhaps if you had mastered the Inner Gates, my old rival… Maybe then, you might have learnt how to surpass even our mighty sensei!" Gai retorted, reaffirming Ebisu's greatest fear.
Anko very suddenly grabbed Ebisu by his collar. "Don't worry about him, Ebisu-Kun~ Just teach me whatever you can and I'll be grateful." Anko promised, with a toothy grin. Ebisu truy wished he could control the blush covering his face but it didn't work.
Anko 2 Ebisu 1
Ebisu and Anko retreated back to their table and started strategizing, unknown to them a lone tear fell down Gai's cheek.
"You should have told me you were in the springtime of youth, my old teammate." Gai whispered gently.
"What?" A confused Jonin asked who just happened to be sitting on the stool beside him.
"Oh, nothing! Youth! All that!" Gai laughed awkwardly, slowly disengaging from the bar.
The time came for the Arm Wrestling Championship Finals, and Anko sat opposite Gai, the whole bar trying to watch on as the purple haired woman grinned at the Green Beast of the Leaf. Ebisu felt as if he were at a funeral.
The round began, and the crowd went wild as Anko roared violently, Gai of course did much the same, matching her energy and then some. In his head, Ebisu knew Anko had no hope, he'd explained the importance of wrist placement and displacement, but against Might Gai, they may as well have been trying to use a needle to fell a giant, the man was a taijutsu expert after all.
Ebisu closed his eyes, unwilling to watch his budding pupil be slain so cruelly.
The sound of knuckles hitting the table rang throughout the bar and the crowd fell completely silent.
Ebisu opened his eyes again and the beauty of what he saw was outmatched by none.
Anko stared at Gai's hand underneath hers, his wrist touching the table.
"I won? I won! Fuck yeah! In your face! Yeeaaaaah!" Anko, for some reason, flipped the bird at Ibiki, who was standing, watching from the crowd.
The whole bar roared at the spectacle, drinks went flying while others got even more drunk as they did the right thing and drank to the victor. Anko leaped towards Ebisu, enveloping him in an inescapably tight hug and kissed his forehead repeatedly.
"You did it! You taught me! And I beat Gai! Like what!?" Anko was a ball of energy, hardly able to keep still while the Jonin with the chalkboard dished out her winnings.
The whole while Ebisu's eyes never left Gai's, the green clad man had tears running down his face, he held a thumb up to Ebisu and at that moment they both knew. Gai had fulfilled the promise he had made to Ebisu all those years ago, when they were but small and stupid Genin.
Gai had become Ebisu's wingman.
A lone tear ran underneath Ebisu's teashade sunglasses and he nodded towards Gai.
Soon enough, the bar made its final call and Anko, Ebisu, Genma, Izumo and Kotetsu all stumbled out the bar, each varying levels of richer and poorer, swaying side to side.
"We're partin' till dawn! Come back to our place!" Kotetsu slurred his words but some Jonin followed the group of five back to Izumo and Kotetsu's apartment.
The large group of several Jonin sloppily unsealed several scrolls worth of alcohol and drank to their heart's content, sitting in the large living room space of the apartment, Anko and Ebisu were seated beside each other, sharing the same floor cushion.
"Y'know Ebisu-Kun, I really appreciate what you did for me… Even if you greased the wheels a little there." Anko said, leaning into Ebisu's personal space.
Ebisu maintained his composure.
"You've shared your winning Anko-San, I'm grateful to you." Ebisu replied.
Anko smirked. "I don't think you know what I'm getting at, Ebisu." Anko whispered into Ebisu's ear in a sultry tone.
Ebisu's whole body immediately went stiff. "I think I understand now." Ebisu said.
"Well?" Anko asked expectantly.
"Please, lead the way." Ebisu said, very quietly.
The rest of the Jonin as well as the Chunin duo noticed Anko departing down the hallway and assumed nothing of it, and then Ebisu followed suit. No one was sober enough to put two and two together and so when Anko and Ebisu entered Izumo's room, no one was any the wiser.
Anko 99 Ebisu 1
The next morning Izumo was the first to wake up and rise from the floor, his guard duty would start soon and even as he got ready to wake Kotetsu, his fellow Chunin woke up and waved at him lazily.
Entering his room, Izumo wretched and shrieked at the same time, making a very strange combination of noises.
"Kotetsu!" Izumo shouted, his partner running to his aid.
Ebisu and Anko stirred from their sleep, lying in Izumo's bed with a blanket covering what Izumo knew would be a scarring image.
"We're moving, Kotetsu. Our home is ruined." Izumo declared.