In The Shadows

by xXdreameaterXx

He hated to see her go – and he hated that he hated it. Her mere presence gave him a glimpse of what it would mean to no longer be alone and he found himself wanting more like a greedy mortal who was aware of the ticking clock heralding his demise. He had lived for centuries, so what was another year, another decade? He could wait. A collection of OneShots for Darklina Week 2021.

6. Day 6: Monster

Day 6: Monster

Set after the events of Shadow & Bone.

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When Alina looked into his eyes, she saw a monster. The Darkling knew that it hadn't always been this way and he wondered just when the tides had turned to make her hate him as much as she did. Was it the moment Baghra had told her the truth about his origins? About his deeds? Was it the moment he had placed the necklace around her slender neck and bound them together for all eternity? Or was it the moment he had begun to act like the monster she had always suspected him to be?

The problem with living a life as long as his was that the memories started to blur and fade. No matter how eager he was to hold on to something, there was only so much the capacity of his mind could hold before the memories began to dissolve and fade into oblivion. But he still remembered the moment he had first laid eyes on Alina, the moment he had first glimpsed her power. She had looked at him in fear, but the Darkling had known then that it would change once she realised her true potential and accepted that they were two sides of the same coin. Their powers had no equal except one another and even after centuries had passed and everyone on this earth had long turned to dust, they would both still be here. Whether she feared, loved or hated him – he was all Alina was going to have once she realised the truth.

The Darkling also remembered the moments they had shared at the Little Palace, moments that had felt too intimate to him because he had never allowed himself to want someone who might be gone as soon as his back was turned. But Alina was different. Alina would last. Alina was the first he had allowed himself to want in a very, very long time. The Darkling had watched the fear fade from her eyes as it was replaced by infatuation – and he had enjoyed it. Maybe, he had even felt something similar for her in return. Who could tell after centuries of not letting anyone get close?

Now, when she looked at him, he could still see a hint of the longing that he felt for her, but since he was a monster in her eyes, Alina wouldn't allow herself to want him. The Darkling didn't doubt that she would change her mind once a few decades or even centuries had passed. She would only be able to stand walking this earth alone for so long until she turned back towards him. It had taken him that long to stop caring, too, to stop handing his heart out to people who might be snatched away from him in the blink of an eye. It was a hard lesson, but one Alina would learn eventually.

Instead, the Darkling had turned his heart to what would last and he knew that there would always be Grisha that needed help. Whether it was training they needed, shelter from the Fjerdan witch hunters or protection from Shu doctors. Safety and power were what he could give them.

There was another lesson Alina hadn't yet learned in her short life on this earth, but she would and then, maybe she would understand. Whether it was the Ravkan King, the Fjerdan assassin out to take her life, the doctors from Shu Han waiting to experiment on her, the ordinary woman poisoning her husband next door or the little boy who beat a cat to death with a stick out of sheer joy – the world was full of monsters and it took a monster to fight them. It took a monster to keep Grisha safe.