"One last time, even though I know that you're going to glare at me, Erin. Do you have everything that you want to bring to our home?"

She looked at James, giving him a withering glare as she nodded. "Yes. Between Lexie and Grant, everything went more smoothly than I imagined it would. I was surprised that Penelope listened as well as she did, though," Erin teased gently, knowing that the woman could take it. From the wink that she received in return, Erin knew that the comment had been taken in the intent it had been given, and she gave Penelope a small smile.

"Well, seeing as how I have a lot to prove about where my loyalties rest, I figured that listening and doing as I was told was the best course of action." Penelope's smile wobbled a little before she took a deep breath and looked at Grant. "So, I'm driving the first leg, yes?"

Erin frowned a little at that, having expected Penelope to ride with her and Alex. "That was the plan, Penelope. Though we'll probably leave Alex and Erin in the dust, since last I remembered, you have a lead foot."

"I do, but…"

"It will be fine, Penelope. Erin and I can go at a more sedate pace, and we'll meet you at our home if we get separated."

The slight bit of possessiveness in Alex's voice took her aback, and she tilted her head to one side as she regarded her friend. It wasn't like her to be that short with those gathered, but a part of her found that she was glad that it would just be the two of them in Alex's car. "Sounds good. Take care of our precious cargo, Alex. Even though we know that she can kick the ass of anyone who looks askance at you."

Alex chuckled as she nodded, leading Erin over to her car. "I'll drive until lunchtime, and after we've eaten, you can drive until we're home?"

"That sounds perfect to me." She brought her mug to her lips and took a long sip as she settled in the passenger seat of the vehicle. "Though I have to ask why you didn't want Penelope to ride with us. I thought that things were all right between the two of you?"

There was a long space filled with Alex's harsh breathing as she turned the car around and followed James down the driveway. Erin was about to prod Alex to answer her when she began to speak after turning onto the road. "I know that it's irrational, that she had no idea what Dave was doing behind all our backs, but I still can't help but feel a little bit of enmity towards her. I hate that part of me, but I can't turn it off. So, until I can be a little more hospitable towards her, I thought it best that she ride with Anderson and James. You were separated from us for so long, and she should have known that something was wrong with Dave before you figured things out."

"Lexie…"

"I know, I told you that it's an irrational thought coming from my all too rational mind, but I can't stop feeling that way. And yes, I have become a little overprotective of you in the last few months, but reading your notes to me and your children, well, it made me remember how close we were, once. And I want to be that close with you again. Maybe not physically, since I love James too dearly for that, but I want that friendship back in my life."

Erin swiped away some of the tears that had started to fall down her cheeks, and she nodded a little as she wrapped her hands around her mug, allowing the heat of the coffee to bleed into her palms as she tried to think of how to answer. "I want our friendship back as well. And I think that we were building towards that in our correspondence. I also have some things that I'd like you to read, as I wrote you and Penelope copious letters while I was held captive. I think I told you that sometime yesterday."

"You did, but that's all right."

"Eventually, I'll be more with it, I promise. I, I couldn't help but notice that you and James have a lovely fireplace in your living room."

"And you want to burn a few things to cleanse your heart of the memories of that time of your life?" Alex finished, and Erin nodded. "I think that we can arrange that. Even though it is quite warm today."

"I haven't been truly warm in months, Alex. I think being in that damp basement for most of my days has affected how my body regulates heat. Maybe James will be able to tell me what's wrong, or what questions to ask my doctor, so I know how to fix this."

Alex nodded as she quickly looked at her, giving her a small smile before turning her attention back to the road. "I think that he'll be able to give his professional opinion on that. Do you want to tell me a little more about what it was like in that room while we drive?"

Erin took a deep breath as she pressed herself further back into the car seat, feeling like she was going to hyperventilate a bit at the thought of what she had endured. "In the beginning, John drugged me a lot. Usually when he wanted to add something to my room, but on Christmas Eve, he gave me a larger dose, so that he and David could move me from New York to Wells. I never knew where I was being held in my former cell, just that it was smaller than the room I ended up in back there. I really think that John got drunk off the idea of breaking me to his will and getting me to fall in love with him. I never truly broke, but playing the game became easier and easier as the weeks wore on. I even finagled myself a bit of an escape, in that he would take me outdoors and allow me to spend time on the edge of the lake."

"Why didn't you push him in?" Alex asked, a gentleness in her tone that told Erin she wasn't judging her in any way.

"Because then the handcuff key would fall to the bottom of the lake with him. As you could tell, there was no phone in that cabin, and I never saw him with a mobile, so there would have been no way for me to contact the outside world. And I doubt that I would have been able to peck out a message to you with my nose before John pulled himself out of the water."

"That makes sense."

"It also helps to quiet the voice in my heart that tells me I should have tried harder to escape."

Alex frowned, but didn't look at her, even as her hands tightened around the steering wheel. "You did everything that you could to survive. Yes, it might seem like you could have done more, but you knew what John was capable of."

"I could have escaped on my birthday. I knocked John out. But my body betrayed me, and instead of running for my life then, I ran to the bathroom and was sick to my stomach, which allowed him time to wake up and lock me inside once more. I could have been home six months ago," she said, her words catching in her throat as she began to sob, suddenly wishing that the car could travel faster, so that she would be home sooner, and able to put the horrid recent past behind her.