MARE
I am away from my family.
Trapped in this room, like a possession.
And Maven. He's the monster of my nightmares.
But.
But he's broken just like me.
Damaged just like me.
And unlike me,
He's all alone.
I notice the way it seems that he's still trapped by her. Maybe he is. Elara was power hungry, manipulative and cruel.
He's only had her love.
He is angry with Cal.
Angry but also hurt. Hurt that he didn't notice his brother until it was too late.
He's somehow still a shadow.
I know how that felt like, before all this. I was not who everyone wanted me to be. I was nothing. A shadow of my sister as well.
I wonder if I still understand this broken boy king.
I realise he's just like us. All of us. He suffered the same I did, if not worse. He is surrounded by guilt, drowning in it like me.
Why then is there no hope for him?
Cal had hope. As much Maven would hate the idea, Cal still wanted him. But Cal wanted the old Maven back. The old Maven has been gone for a long time.
I think that is another reason why Maven hates Cal. He wants the old Maven so much that he doesn't see that this Maven is still his brother. And this Maven, he also wants to be loved.
I would know. He loves me after all.
He loves me in a twisted way, parts of the brain even Elara couldn't get rid of.
I have been thinking about this a lot lately. How much must Maven have loved me before to still be consumed by it. A lot and perhaps in the right way.
He wants me to be his red queen.
Can I?
Should I?
I know what I would have said before. No , never.
But I see him now.
Maven.
I was too busy seeing Cal- the kind, loyal prince who saved me- to notice Maven
But he's all I see now.
He traps me in a cage of silent stones. Yet he hates what they do to me.
'It's for your safety' he says. Maybe it's true.
His broken kingdom is slipping away.
Somehow he's stopped caring about it much.
I am all he sees now.
I don't think I hate it much anymore.