Eggman is Ivo. Blaze is Blaise (yes, I get it, that's a male name, but there's been a trend of girls being named male names), Tails is Miles, Sonic is Maurice, Big is still Big/Nemanja, Tangle is still Tangle. Silver is still Silver.

"Now, this is the Stockport branch of Runić Paper…" Ivo introduced, as he guided a documentary crew around the office in which several of the salesmen that worked as his subordinates worked.

"Most of my salesmen work around here. They know I'm the best boss, they're all happy to work with me. This is Miles Prower," Ivo began as he pointed at a blonde-haired man who was 24 years old. This man was Miles Prower. He was currently on the phone to a library in the Salford area which needed more paper for its records.

"Boss, I can't finish the sale. This person is demanding to speak to the manager." Miles complained, as he gave the phone to Ivo.

"What did you want to speak to me about? You think my salesman is trying to joke with you? No, sir…" Ivo began, before he stopped.

"You had a deep voice! How was I supposed to know you were a woman? Especially over the phone? Anyways, that will be £25 for 5000 sheets of paper… Thank you."

"Thanks, boss."

"Anything for you, mate." Ivo finished, before slapping Miles on the back.

"Anyways, that…" Ivo started as he pointed at the receptionist, a 23-year old woman with brown hair who was wearing a lavender top. "...is our receptionist Blaise Cartwald. If you think she's cute, you shoulda seen her when she started at this place! Man, did she look good!" These comments caused Blaise to cringe a bit, as she wasn't really used to Ivo commenting on her appearance. "Right, anything new from the fax?"

"Uh, this message from HR…"

"Blaise, what did I tell you about letters from HR? Simply put them in the rubbish bin. Simple as."

"You never told me that though, boss…"

"That's what you do with faxes from HR, mate!" Ivo responded, as he walked off laughing to himself.

Matt Kossolowski, a 27-year old Polish man who had immigrated from the city of Gorzów Wielkopolski at 12 and subsequently gained British citizenship as soon as he could gain it, was the next one to be introduced. He was often warned for almost causing certain things to break, as he was known to punch some things whenever Miles pranked him, sometimes even Miles himself. Matt was often called Knuckles because of this, as he also liked to dye his hair red sometimes. Ivo had provided a special punching bag whenever Matt needed to punch something. All this was explained to the documentary crew by Ivo.

Later, Ivo and Blaise had to go to the office.

"HR have decided they can't justify having both a Stockport branch and a Lancaster branch, so they're going to have to downsize." the executive known only as "Tangle" began.

"I can tell you, frankly, downsizing is an absolute bitch of a disaster, and I refuse to even entertain the thought of this place downsizing. I refuse to even entertain the idea of the Lancaster branch dissolving. I certainly don't even want this branch to dissolve."

Someone called.

"Yeah, sorry… Kilian Brandt, good guy. Can I take it?"

Ivo answered the phone.

"Hey, Kilometre!"

"Hello, you big Russki!"

"That wasn't very cash money of you, mate…"

"We got ol' Tangle coming in today or sommet?"

"I don't know who you're talking about, Kil, but-"

"Look, mate, I've had this question canned in my head for a while; does Tangle live up to her, uh... reputation?"

"Kilian, I'm sorry, but this isn't going to be convenient. Maybe later." Ivo then hung up the phone. "This Kilian guy, always saying these weird things."

"You think we could stop these from being whispered around both offices? I refuse to permit people being worried for no reason at all."

"Don't worry, Tangle, under MY watch, there will be no whispers about this around this particular branch, mark my words."=

"Big, do you know what the hell this downsizing rubbish is they're talking about?"

"Big, Cosmo, you better update your CVs, like I'm doing."

"Miles, you going to Cosmo's party on Saturday?"

"Stop, mate, that's real ridiculous, when have I ever gone to a party Cosmo's held?"

"Uh, welcome, sir, that's our boss Mr. Eggman.."

"Whassup, Maurice! Yeah, guilty as sentenced in a court of law! That's Maurice Kamiński, he saw our advert at the Job Centre Plus and applied for it, he is the ONLY one to have applied for it in fact. Hey, you can speak in your native language with that Knuckles guy, he's also Polish! Oh, calm down, Blaise, you just don't understand my kind of comedy." Ivo then proceeded to pick up a stapler and walk down speaking gibberish that barely sounded German, meanwhile holding his left hand up and banging it on a random desk every few seconds.

"Bloody hell, mate, can't you be a bit more considerate considering there's two Poles and a Serb working here?" Miles yelled, referring to Maurice, Matt and Big.

Speaking of Big, he was a portly 30-year old man from the city of Kragujevac in Serbia whose real name was Nemanja Vuković. His skin was tanned, and due to his large figure, was often called Big. He often wore a purple shirt and liked to go fishing sometimes.

Back to Maurice; he often dyed his hair blue, and was, for whatever reason, obsessed with speed. This was mostly the reason behind his nickname Sonic; this reminded most people of the video game character Sonic the Hedgehog.

Anyway, back to The Office, as it were.

"You just don't understand my comedy, that's what I told Blaise earlier, Miles!" Ivo retorted.

"What the hell are you doing, Matt?" Miles asked, as he saw Matt pushing a lot of his stuff onto his desk.

"I'm marking my territory, i.e. my desk. Your crap is spilling over into my desk. Keep it on your desk next time, mate." This comment led Miles to pinch a large amount of rulers and shove them into the line between his desk and that of Matt.

"No, Miles, you can't do that."

"Why not? If you can mark your territory, in your own words, then why can't I mark mine?"

"Health and safety violation, Miles. If I fall, one of them could poke my eye."

"We'll see, Knuckles, we'll see..." Miles cryptically spoke. Matt then began pulling out the rulers, two at a time.

"See, this is why I'm not bothered if we downsize, because I won't have someone like you, hopefully!"

"Downsizing? Miles, I've been recommending downsizing to Ivo since I first arrived here. Not least because I want you to stop pranking me like a child."

THE NEXT DAY.

"Blaise, any new messages?"

"The messages from yesterday, and also this fax-"

"Eyup. Yeah, right, important. Eh, this one can go to the rubbish bin. What's the fax?"

"Kilian Brandt demanding to know why you suddenly hung up on him."

"Why would Kilian care that much?"

"Eh, I don't know."

"I've been telling HR to give up the fax machine, but they still bloody refuse! What is this, the 1980s or something? Memo to Tangle: update your goddamned website as well, it looks like it belongs in 2007. What reasonably large company has a website that looks like it belongs in 2007? Especially a company like Runić Paper?"

"Why are you telling me this? Go bring it up with HR and Tangle, then."

"Attention to all Runić Paper employees working at the Stockport branch, we're having a meeting at Room 8R. Come on, chop-chop!"

"God, I hate these meetings at 8R."

Everyone walks to Room 8R. Because obviously this seems important, right?

"Now, I know there have been whispers around the office about downsizing, and I want to get this straight. This place is not downsizing, and anyone who tells you it is, is lying. OK?"

Miles stood up and walked to Ivo. "Boss, as Assistant Regional Manager, I should know about this first. Tell me. Maybe let's walk out of this room so nobody else hears it. Should I tell them?"

"Miles, you don't even know what I'm talking about, how are you supposed to tell them?"

"OK, mate, you might as well tell them. With the permission of Assistant Regional Manager Miles Prower."

"God, you make yourself sound so pompous when you call yourself "Assistant Regional Manager Miles Prower". And I don't need your permission, I outrank you."

"You have permission to-"

"MILES, WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY AND LET ME SPEAK!?"

"I know Tangle has told me either this branch or the Lancaster branch will dissolve, but if we do well, it will be the Lancaster branch that will merge into this one, not us into Lancaster. Clear?"

"Ivo, what if they close down this branch and merge it into the one in Lancaster?"

"Vector- sorry, Victor, that's not going to happen."

"What if it's out of your hands, Ivo-"

"It's not out of my hands, Nemanja, now will you please shut up and let me speak? I promise this branch won't merge into the Lancaster branch on Matt "Knuckles" Kossolowski's chances of promotion. Frankly, I feel insulted that you even had to ask about whether Stockport would merge into Lancaster or whether it would be Lancaster merging into Stockport in the first place. Hey, I think Blaise wanted to say something."

"I was at that meeting with Tangle, and I was told it could be this branch that merges with the Lancaster one, not the Lancaster one merging with this branch."

"You sure about that, Blaise?" Big queried.

Ivo opened his mouth. "Look, Blaise, maybe you should really stick to the confidentiality agreement I told you about. We don't want to worry people for no reason, alright?"

"Blaise, the people want to know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Don't listen to Ivo when it comes to situations like this." Miles interrupted.

"Miles, please butt out of this. This is my situation to control, not yours."

"KOSOVO JE SRBIJA!" Big yelled.

"The status of whether Kosovo is part of Serbia or not has nothing to do with whether it is the Stockport or Lancaster branch that will merge into the other, alright, Big? Are you trying to derail this meeting?"

"So you can't conclusively say which is going to merge into the other!"

"Big, what's going on? I know you may be a big derp at times, but you're just changing the subject out of the blue! And no, no, no, HR and Tangle may say XYZ, but at the end of the day, they can mess with Gareth's people. I refuse to let them mess with my people."

Back in the office, after the meeting, Miles was staring at Blaise at the computer.

"Whoa, hey, Miles Prower in the ol' Stockport branch! That's our new hire, Maurice Kamiński. Hey, snap out of that daze!"

"Wazzup, mate?"

"That's… very unexpected. I never expected working at Runić Paper to be this fun."

"Uhh… Miles Prower, the Assistant Regional Manager here at the Stockport branch."

"He's assistant to me, Ivo Eggman, the Regional Manager-"

"For God's sake, Ivo, he knows that already! It's obvious when I say "Assistant Regional Manager", isn't it?"

"So, Miles, tell him about your name that is clearly pun material."

"My name is Miles Prower, as you know, which can be a real curse to me sometimes, because of all the speed jokes people make about it. I sometimes curse my parents for exactly that reason, how can one be so dumb as to name their kid Miles Prower?"

"GODDAMN IT, MILES PROWER!" Matt yelled.

"What the hell is it this time, Knuckles?" Miles questioned, as he stood up and ran to the other side of the desk.

"You put my goddamn calculator in Jell-O! Real professional, Miles."

Blaise and Miles both laughed at Matt's calculator being in Jell-O.

"Hey, what's got both of you all giddy all of a sudden? Is it the thought of my calculator being put in Jell-O? Thanks to you, I'm going to have to buy a new calculator!"

"No, Matt, don't just pull it out! You're going to have to get a knife and fork and eat that calculator out of there. There are starving people in Africa who would want to eat that Jell-O, you know…"

"OK, Ivo, can you reprimand Miles, please?"

"How'd you know it was me, Knuckles?"

"It's always you with this sort of stuff, Miles! Now are you going to discipline this childish excuse of an Assistant Regional Manager or not, Ivo?"

"Ooh, discipline! Got a fetish?"

"No, no, that's not what I meant by discipline, Ivo!"

"Now is the time to stop putting poor Matt's property into Jell-O, please, Miles."

"Now, I'm sorry, Matt, because I've always been a flan of your planks."

"Ho-ho-ho, now that was a good double-pun over there, Miles Per Hour!"

Miles groaned. He'd had enough of people calling him Miles Per Hour. See, this is why he hated being called Miles Prower sometimes. Maybe if it was something regular like John or Adam or Eric, he'd be fine. But Miles Prower was pun potential, and as a result, he hated being called Miles Prower sometimes. But he had no other choice. He couldn't change his name all of a sudden, because the office had gotten used to calling him Miles.

A while later, Miles and Blaise were talking to each other about going out with some of their workmates to a pub in the weekend.

"Well, that's why we're all going out to a pub. 'Cos we all like drinking and bantering and whatnot."

"When are we going out, then, Miles?"

"I don't know. Tomorrow is Friday… maybe Saturday. Hopefully either one of those two days."

A grey-haired 25-year old man walked in with a box of papers. He was called Silver Carstens, and he and Blaise were engaged for 2 years at this point.

"'Ey, honey."

"Hi. You mind if I go for a drink at the pub with Miles, Knuckles and the rest?"

"Yes, I mind. Let's get outta this place, go home."

"You know what, Silver? You should come with us, me and the rest are all going out, including Ivo as well."

"Seriously, I feel like going home. I can't really trust Blaise with any of you outside the office…"

"What's in the box, mate?"

"Eh, nothing special, just several packages of recycled papers. Tell Blaise I'll talk to her later."

"Nah, definitely. It's all fine, mate. Will do as such."

"The main thing about me, Maurice, is that I'm a friend first and a boss second. Fun and work both play a role in my technique, and I've taught Miles this for when he gets promoted to Regional Manager. Now, follow my lead, OK?"

"You got a fax, Ivo."

"Nah, wait, Blaise, come in, I was going to call you in anyway. You know Maurice. You know there's going to be downsizing. You've made this job so much easier for me, and I'm firing you first."

"Why?"

"Theft."

"What did I steal?"

"Post-its."

"They're cheap as hell, why would I steal Post-its?'

"You know, if you sell Post-its while getting them for free, you get profit. Run us out of business."

"I haven't stolen anything, and yet you're firing me because you're accusing me of stealing Post-its?"

"Best thing is, we don't have to pay you compensation as such. Clean up your desk."

Blaise would then stand up, and leave, before Ivo stopped.

"Blaise, it was a joke. You still work here. You're not fired."

"You're a total asshole, frankly."

"Ah, lighten up."

"Fine. You got Maurice into this!?" Then Blaise left.

"Well... that didn't work as expected."

"I thought you were going home, Miles?"

"Not yet. You feeling better?"

"Yeah. Thank you."

"Is, uh…"

"Yeah. Oh, it's Silver."