New York, Crosby Street Hotel, Jan 23, 2014

Those ten hours of surgery he had stoically endured with an epidural, all time long watching the best surgeon in the New York area as he operated on him, Killgrave felt them all.

For his post-transplant recovery, the persuader had chosen the Crosby Street Hotel , one of the most prestigious hotels.
What attracted him above all was the purplish color that some of its windows assumed in the evening.
Purple had always been his color.

While still a little wobbly and weak, it had been a joke for him to walk in, talk to the front desk and get the King Superior Suite, worthy of the King he knew he was.

A King who had to stay calm, recover his strength and find a way to join with his Princess again.

These were going to be hard days to endure, not even the painkillers and the highly trained staff he had selected for his care would help him much.

The only thing that comforted him was to look at the photo gallery of Jessica, which he jealously kept in his cell phone.
Jessica.

Ironic that the soothing balm of his pain was at the same time the main cause of it.

- But with Jessica it's like that. She is pure fire. I played with it, getting too close, and I got burned. But I miss that fire too much, no matter how many more times it might burn me. - Killgrave meditated, looking at a photo in particular of that attractive brunette who had made him lose his mind, first with her beauty equal to that of a goddess, then with her amazing powers, finally with her indomitable temperament, which sometimes had also put his own power to the test.

Power he had understood by now that it could no longer effect her.

Jessica, who had rebelled against his will.
Jessica, who had refused to go back to him.
Jessica, who hadn't been fooled by his calling.
Jessica who had seen him hit by a bus.
Jessica, who had left him there to die.

Almost die.

If he hadn't found that generous driver.

Oh well, after Killgrave spoke to him, the young man was more than happy to give him his kidneys.
Yes, both of them.
Because if it is true that with a kidney you can lead a dignified life, for Killgrave it was not enough.
Dignified was for the losers, he had to have the best.
Just as he knew those kidneys would only work temporarily.

In a couple of years he would have to find another sacrificial victim.
Not that it was a big deal for him.
One less useless human being on his way.

And then two years gave him time to do a lot of things.

Getting Jessica back would take a lot of time, a lot of caution, and a lot of patience.
All things Killgrave could have.
He could hide from her, holed up in that hotel, keeping a low profile, however long it would take.

He thought about his Jessica, probably she had already gone back to that hole she inisted calling officine enad, even worse, home; leading her life, so dull and chaotic, with her cheap investigations, with her messed up rhythms.

Now that everything is random,

Jessica would never have a point of reference anymore without him.

- Who will make you sleep all the hours you need? Who will delight your awakenings? Who will make you eat gourmet food, not that junk food you love so much? Who will make sure you don't drink too much? Who will make you dress appropriately? Who will sweeten your nights? Who will make you scream my name again? Without me, everything will fall apart, Jessica. - Killgrave's mind struggled with his thoughts, as he sought a more comfortable position in that king-size bed.

After all, thinking was one of the few things that he was still allowed, there was no contraindication in this regard, following such a delicate and burdensome operation.

- Because I know, Jessica, those smiles, those caresses, those kisses, those moans ... it wasn't always me. It wasn't just for my mind control. Sometimes they started with your own will and you didn't even realize it. Because you love me, Jessica, you just don't know yet. - he smiled, despite the excruciating pangs that were oh-so-relentless.

- Will you feel guilty, Jessica? Are you drinking now, trying to drown the memory of what you did to me, of how you think you left me to die, abandoned on that street, worse than a stray dog? After all I have done for you, the best restaurants where I made you eat, the best hotels where I made you stay, the best places in the world that I made you visit, the best boutiques where I made you dress, the countless hours of love which I made you enjoy? And this is your way to repay me?! - He squeezed the sheet until his knuckles turned white, in a fit of anger.

Now I am no longer a burden

Then he tried to calm down, anger was not good for his current state of health so weak.

- Oh no, Jessica, I don't think so, there must be a voice inside you that gives you the torment, that tells you how wrong what you did to me is. But do you know what I'm telling you? Enjoy this year without me, mourn my death, take back your life without me being a part of it anymore. I will no longer be a burden to you for some time. I will leave you free to delude yourself that you are happy now. -

Although the doctors had strongly advised him not to get out of bed, Killgrave stood, heedless of the pain, relying on the nightstand.

He limped slowly, leaning against the wall, until he reached the large window that illuminated the whole room on that clear morning, from which he could see the whole city, and most likely Jessica too, wherever she was at that moment.

Tell me what excuses will you make up?

"Because, I know, you now think you can be happy again, but that's not the case." he gave voice to his thoughts, standing still, leaning against the window, as he imagined he could speak directly to her. "And I can already picture you, making up the most pathetic excuses to never leave the bloody bottle of whisky: 'Killgrave did this to me, Killgrave made me do that, Killgrave dominated every aspect of my life, Killgrave changed me forever.' Tell you these stories, c'mon. " he laughed, scornful of the pain that the effort, as well as that of speaking, involved.

However, Killgrave and pain went hand in hand, since he was just a child, since his name at that time was another one.
That's why he resisted impassively, heartened by what awaited him.

"The truth is that your life was not life, Jessi, before you met me and after all these months with me, after I got so deep inside you, in every sense of the word, you will no longer be able to live without me, you will no longer be able to get me out of your head. " he continued his monologue, stroking the glass as if he could caress the face of the beautiful detective.

"Will you dream of me, Jessi? Will you dream of all the things I did to you when you were mine and you wanted nothing else? Will you still picture me there with you? Will you think of me every time you see a detail that reminds you of myself? "

Killgrave lost his balance, managing to cling to one of the frame of the window, thus avoiding falling to the ground, indecorously.
It was a sign that his body was not yet able to withstand certain efforts for that long.

With difficulty, the persuader managed to get back to bed, waiting for his staff to come to visit him.

- Keep dreaming of me, Jessica, in a few months I will make you understand that this is not just a dream, but a splendid reality: you and me, together again. I'm already thinking about how to get you on my trail, how to come out, with the perfect declaration of love, how to leave you breathless, how to make you understand once and for all that you and I are inevitable.- He rested his head on the goose-down pillow, lulling himself into his machinations.

- Don't think I'll make it so simple for you though. I'm going to make you suffer a little in the beginning, after all you deserve it for what you did to me. Some innocents will pay for your choices… and then there's your oh-so-petulant sister… it would be such a shame if something bad happened to her, wouldn't it, Jessi? I will have some fun with her, but nothing irreparable, my darling, I could never hurt you to that point, I love you too much. I'll make you understand how much I do. -

He felt his eyelids grow heavier, wanting to indulge that need for further rest, with one last thought before falling asleep.

- You will smile again for me, Jessica, if it's the last thing I do! -

-

THE END

Notes:

I liked imagining a Killgrave who, after that dramatic crucial event, makes a local mind on what has just happened, but above all on what will have to happen.

I think it's troubling how much I love getting into his head… I just hope I've done a decent job.

Hugs, see ya with funnier stuff later.

Lu