Disclaimer: I do not own The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, or any of the related characters. The Elder Scrolls series is owned by Bethesda. This story is intended for entertainment purposes only. I am not making any profit from this story. All rights of the Elder Scrools series belong to Bethesda.
Do'Zah was silent as he entered High Hrothgar. The fight with Alduin had left him weak and conflicted. He was so tired of the fighting and the saving and the fighting and the saving; of being a doom-driven hero. So when Master Arngeir asked how things went, Do'Zah sighed and tiredly slumped into a nearby chair. Instead of answering the inquiry, Do'Zah asked a question that had been lingering on his mind.
"As Do'Zah learns more thu'um, he learns extra words. They are clearly not thu'um either, as he lacks the understanding to use them as Shouts. This makes Do'Zah think they are conversational, and not meant for fighting. At least, not for this one. Is… is this normal, do you think?"
Arngeir blinked at the sudden question, but figured the Dovahkiin needed to not think of the fight the Greybeards had all heard. "I do not know. It is possible, I suppose. Remnants of the dragons' souls giving more knowledge than just Words of Power seems like something the Blades would know more about." He grimaced, the suggestion leaving a bad taste in his mouth. "Not that I encourage you to go to them. Is something wrong?"
Do'Zah sighed. "This one does not mind a third language, per se. In fact, he enjoys learning it! He is most interested in how the rules are similar to Cyrodillic. However, it is… off-putting to learn Dovahzuul through so much death. Khajiit would prefer to learn it through non-violent ways."
He fell silent as he struggled to properly articulate what was wrong. Several times he started, only to abandon that thought. Eventually he huffed, ran his hands through his hair, and quietly asked "Do you know how this one reacted when he was first called 'Dovahkiin'?
"He laughed! After he had left High Hrothgar, Do'Zah could not stop laughing. Khajiit found it most amusing that his name was similar to 'dovah'. Even during his first dragon battle, before he knew he was Dovahkiin, he remembers thinking 'this is what Do'Zah was born to do'. Now though, now he is not laughing." Do'Zah shifted, whether it was from discomfort in the conversation or from injuries received during the battle, he wasn't quite sure anymore.
The silence was deafening as Do'Zah struggled to find the right words. "'Do' and 'zah' have meanings in Dovahzuul. You must have known this, yes?"
"We thought it possible. At the very least it sounded similar enough to 'Dovah' that we thought nothing of it. There are plenty of people who have names that are similar to words in the Dragon Tongue."
"But do most make sense? Does it match them as a dragon's name matches theirs'? He has learned that 'do' means 'of' ages ago. It was only today that he learned what 'zah' means. It is in the Dragonrend Shout, meaning 'finite'. It is the end of the end, to make something else perceive that all things must come to an end.
"It is a curse, one that Do'Zah does not know how to feel about. Khajiit has brought finality, death, to many beings; not just dragons." There was a pause before Do'Zah leaned back and covered his face with his hands.
"You were right, in that learning the Shout is it take in evil. Do'Zah wishes he could forget, but it is in his soul now." His breath hitched. "This one is a good warrior; Do'Zah has earned his honorific. He wants to be a good warrior to protect. He does not want to fight."
Do'Zah sighed heavily, and Arngeir was forcibly reminded of just how much pressure the Dovahkiin was under. "Now Do'Zah wonders. A name is just a name, yes? It has no bearing on the person, but could he have been something else? Or was he always destined to fight; to kill.
"He knows he was born with a dragon's soul. This one was always looking for a fight. It is why his parents sent him to learn the Claw Dances, but a warrior's path gets hard. No one tells you that the sword gets heavy, or your claws are forever stained. No one tells you that you become unrecognisable. That once you walk a warrior's path, you are forever changed."
Arngeir was reluctant to break the silence that followed. "We know the Dragonborn's path is not the same as ours, but we would be honoured to teach you the Way of the Voice as we learn it, not just picking and choosing as the Dovahkiin does."
"Do'Zah thinks he would like that very much. After though… After the battle this one would like some meditation. If he could afford the time, he would join now. He cannot, in clear conscience, leave such a dangerous being alive. So as much as he hates it, Khajiit must kill Alduin." He smiled softly as he stood. "This one does not know how long he would be able to stay; he needs to return home to his monastery after all. At least he now has something extra to look forward to, no?"
Argneir nodded. It was a reasonable request after all. "We will welcome you for however long you wish to stay. We do understand the importance of home, even if we ourselves do not return. In the meantime, perhaps meditating on some of the more beneficial or benign Words of Power will help?"
"This one thanks you. It puts his mind at ease to know he has another place to go after Alduin. Sometimes it feels like there is nothing but the fight." After a moment Do'Zah shook himself, as if shedding his unease. Now, Khajiit must go. He has a fight to end, after all."
With that, the Dragonborn made his way out of High Hrothgar. He was still worried about his path, both his current one and what the future might bring, but his mind felt clearer, and a calm determination settled over him. And that, in and of itself, brought Do'Zah some comfort.
A/N: I've always had the idea of a Dragonborn (that's not morally questionable) kind of freak out after they learn dragonrend. Since it's canon that when you learn a Word of Power, you understand it on very personal level, basically taking the word into yourself. I think they'd become very uncomfortable when the Dragonborn is reminded of just how much death they've brought.
And while I know Skyrim is very much a kill or be killed placed, I don't ever imagine it'd be easy to kill.