Sup homies , I'm back from my almost year long hiatus and i have got an ultra spooky story just in time for spooktober, but be warned this story is so spooky that you might instantly die . But if you are cool with that fact and still want to read grab a can of jolt cola and a big bag of cool ranch doritos and get comfortable because we are about dive right in
Sometime after escaping the hospital at the end of the curse of Michael Myers Michael lumbered into the hospitals parkade completely disoriented from the events that happened earlier ,due to his disoriented state Michael slipped on a duracell battery and hit his head on the bumper of a car and instantly died (nah lol he just got knocked out) . After waking up about an hour later Michael felt noticeably different from how he had felt before , he felt uplifted he and the all encompassing urge to kill had been replaced with the urge to help his community and contribute to society and for the first time since 1963 Michael spoke and said in a gravelly Harvey Fierstein like voice " Know what i am tired of killing i want to start a career and make something of myself ".
After about a half hour of contemplating what to do next Michael decided that he should get a new set of clothes and much to his luck he saw a business suit in a clear dry-cleaning bag hanging up inside a black Mercedes 300d that parked was only a few metres from where he was standing . "You have to break a couple eggs to make an omelet " Michael said to himself as he shattered the cars window with his bare hand and took the suit out and lucky for him it was his size .After replacing his worn boiler suit with the snazzy business suit and getting in the now damaged Mercedes Michael drove off in hopes of finding employment .
After driving for about 15 minutes a billboard caught Michaels attention ,it said in bright letters "MAXIMIZE YOUR CAREER POTENIAL,GREAT POSITIONS AND OPPURTUNITYS , APPLY TODAY! - A.H. Williamson Associates ,24 Victoria St ,Barnettsburg IL" ."This looks promising Barnettsburg is only a town away "Michael thought as he headed down the highway to Barnettsburg .After about 10 minutes Michael had reached Victoria street and was greeted to a fairly tall glass office building that said in big letters A.H. Williamson associates on the side ."This must be it" Michael said as he got out of his car and tucked the ends of his mask into his dress shirt to look more professional.
Upon entering the building Michael was greeted by a rather bored secretary who pointed at a group of chairs and said in a bored and slightly annoyed tone "Interviewees over there " as she buzzed him in , with that Michael waited . After about 10 or so minutes he was approached by a man in an outfit similar to Patrick Bateman with a wide white smug smile and an unnatural plasticky looking face that looked like it had hundreds of cosmetic surgeries and implants done on it "Hi I'm Tom Stevens I'm the manager here , and you are ?" Michael got up and said in a low gravely voice "Hi I'm Michael Myers I am looking for a position here " .Tom's smile widened as he said " Great to hear, come into my office ,lets see if you are a good fit to be part of the A.H. Williamson Associates team "
The smug man and Michael entered his office while he continued to lecture Michael on the importance of the team experience of being part of A.H. Williamson Associates . "Here have a seat "Tom said as Michael sat down and Tom continued his speech " Here at A.H. Williamson Associates its all about being all in with the team experience, that's why you will have a 19 hour work day 6 days a week and only 2 days off a year , after all sacrifices have to be made for the good of the team and building a quality career " Michael began to reconsider his choice of applying but ultimately decided that this was what was best and said "Yea I'm willing to be part of the team "To which an enthusiastic but still very smug Tom said "That's great ,before we start the interview let me see your drivers license, a drivers license shows that you are a reliable employee and have the means to show up to work every day " . This really caught Michael off guard and he replied "Umm I don't have one " For the first time Tom's smile turned to a frown as he said in a serious voice "I saw you get out of your car from the window , so you are telling me that you drove without a license ,I'm going the call to the police " But before Tom could pick up the phone Michael picked up Tom by his shirt collar and threw him at the shelf of books and office nick nacks he had at the entrance of his office sending him the shelf and the various stupid nick nacks flying through the office window to the surprise and horror of the various now onlooking office workers ."Ugh look what you made me do , you got me killing again" Michael said angerly in his raspy gravely voice as he walked over to a severely injured but still alive Tom who was trying to get up ."You had to call the cops you smug bastard "Michael said before picking him up than defenestrating him through the office window . Michael then calmly walked out as the crowd of terrified onlookers almost frozen in terror backed up as he got close . Michael sighed as he left the building and got into his car which was ironically right next to Tom's defenestrated body
After driving for 10 minutes Michael was hungry and decided to order some food at Burger King and to his luck he saw a help wanted sign for a cook in the window . Michael entered and walked up to the counter where he ordered his 2 whoppers and asked the employee at the counter if he could see the manager to get the the job . The employee said that he would talk the manager in a few minutes and with that Michael sat down and ate his whoppers by shoving them under his mask . After about 15 minutes the manager who was obviously stoned showed up "Hey man I heard you were looking for a job I'm going to like interview you like now ok " To which Michael nodded ,the manager than proceeded to ask the first question "Ok man do you have like a drivers license or id " . Michael knowing what happened before replied " Uh ,I left it at home" the manager than responded "Cool cool I do that alot too ,ok next question do you know how to like cook burgers and stuff" To which Michael responded "yea " .The manager than nodded his head and said "Ok you are hired you can start like now " and with that Michael put on a Burger king hat and got to work. For the next week Michael spent his time making whoppers frying fries and making nuggets , he was pretty happy until the manager came and said "Listen Michael I am going to need you to work the register since David is out sick" and with that Michael went to the register and had the other cook fill in for him . For a couple of hours everything was good until an angry Karen came in and demanded chocolate ice cream despite the fact that the machine for chocolate was broken, Michael calmly replied "Ma'am the machine is not working , we can offer you a vanilla if you would like " but the Karen wasn't having it and threatened to have Michael fired by calling the corporate headquarters and for the next couple of minutes the Karen wouldn't stop harassing Michael until she had finally reached the end of Michael's fuse by calling him big and fat and his mask stupid .With that Michael picked her up and threw her over the counter .The Karen tried to get away but she slipped and fell on a whopper and got again grabbed by Michael who slammed her into the vanilla ice cream machine and then shoved her mouth on the nozzle before turning it on while saying in his gravely voice "Enjoy your goddamn ice cream" . Her head began to expand to twice its usual size and ice cream began to ooze from her eyes nose and mouth and than her head suddenly exploded like a ice cream and gore filled balloon. Michael took this as his cue to leave and he again was on the hunt for another job
After fruitlessly searching and applying for various jobs for the next couple of days Michael felt hopeless until the perfect job popped into his head , it was a career perfect for a cold and calculating individual with no regard for human life whatsoever like him ,he decided that he would apply to be an American pharma executive, So Michael looked in the phone book and called various head offices of pharmaceutical companies until he found he found an opening at Paulson and Paulson pharmatech which was only a 20 minute drive away in Annesburg . So Michael quickly got in his car and drove to the Paulson and Paulson headquarters and as soon as he entered the building he was greeted by a secretary who Greeted Michael with "Ah Mr Myers ,Mr Greenfeld is expecting you, his office the first room on the 2nd floor head right in" and with that Michael entered the office to be greeted right away by Mr Greenfield who greeted Michael in a corporate robotic tone with "Hello there Mr. Myers have a seat, so to determine if you are good Paulson and Paulson material we need to know your level of higher education and your understanding of the pharmaceutical industry firstly " But before Michael could answer Mr. Greenfield's secretary buzzed him "Mr greenfield ,the pricing department wants to know if we should increase the price of a new cancer drug " .Just then Michael budded in and said "If you don't mind me budding in Mr Greenfield you should increase the the price of the drug 200 percent and also increase the amount of toxins your factory releases so more people need that cancer treating drug in the first place " Mr Greenfield stared at Michael in absolute awe before saying "That is one of the best ideas i have heard in months , an unfeeling psychopath like you is perfect Paulson and Paulson material ,if you keep coming up with ideas like that you are going to go far in this compony , how does senior executive sound as a starting position." Overjoyed Michael gleefully accepted
Fast forward 6 months and due to his various decisions like destroying the cure for aids , increasing all drug prices by 100 percent and pushing opioids as a replacement for cold medicines . Michael is now the assistant ceo the in his office enjoying his multimillion dollar salary when suddenly He heard his office door open and a very sussy voice say "I've been looking for you for months now i have finally found you " and just then Michael was greeted by his curse that was in the form of the among us imposter and the among us in real life song filled the room . Michael then replied back with "Bruh who are you and why you looking so sussy over there you sussy baka " .The curse then said "Bruh I am not a sussy baka I'm the curse you lost when you hit your head in that parkade and that made you want to kill your family members ,the reason i look like this is because i chose a form that you could comprehend " The curse than morphed into a McDonalds quarter pounder than it morphed into Josip Broz Tito before turning back into the imposter. The curse than continued " listen bro its time for you to be cursed again and try to kill your family again" but Michael who was enjoying his new life said " Nah i don't want to " But the curse retorted "if you get cursed again i will give you a 19 dollar fortnite card and some bing chilling and lao gan ma" Michael retorted again "I would maybe agree if am only cursed for the week of Halloween and i get the 19 dollar fortnite card and the bing chilling and the lao gan ma" and the curse responded "Bruh , ugh ok fine , so all you need to be cursed again is to eat this" and with that the curse morphed into the bts meal and michael got his 19 dollar fortnite card and his bing chilling and lao gan ma after he ate the fries and amogus nuggets with sussy sauce ,
And that's why Michael Myers kills on Halloween-the end