Doctor Vampire and The Garlic Daleks

Originally written 30.9.2007.

Hi, so this is my first attempt at publishing a fanfiction story. I actually wrote it or originally published it in a homemade magazine I made for my friends and teachers back in 2007 on my 16th birthday if the above date is accurate, strange to think so much time has passed. Back then I'd caught the bug following the relaunch of Doctor Who and the 3rd Doctor as played by Jon Pertwee quickly became my favourite after seeing him on VHS in Death To The Daleks.

When I look back at all the stories I wrote for the magazine it is with more than a little bit of embarrassment at how silly and childish they all look, in fact, I'd go so far as to say that this story is the only one that I would actually feel comfortable publishing or sharing with anyone else and even then only after several rounds of reviewing and editing it to improve the story and conversation to make it sound more like the characters.

The idea for this story came from something I read in a reference book talking about The Master (played by Roger Delgado) seeing a nightmarish vision of the Doctor as a vampire looming over him and I thought this a most appropriate image given his current wardrobe. I'm not much good at writing action scenes though so it's ended up more of a humorous little piece.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it. I will profess that I'm not the best writer by any stretch of the imagination and I know my own flaws but it'd be nice just to know some of my stories are out there and any reviews or indeed constructive criticism and feedback is always welcome.

The 3rd Doctor is fighting a hoard of highly evolved bloodthirsty Vampires. He puts up a good fight moving with surprising quick reflexes blocking, rolling and using a combination of Venusian karate chops and kicks to keep the wary vampires at bay for a while. However, it does not take long before he is overwhelmed trapped in an ever decreasing circle of bloodthirsty demon creatures. The Vampires swarm overhead creating a black cloud of wings, an unbroken shield that hides their murderous activities are hidden.

Suddenly backup arrives in the form of U.N.I.T Both sides fight on but eventually the troops' weapons overwhelm, with an angry hiss the remaining Vampires scatter and disappear into the dark night skies, relative calm returns and in the silvery light of the moon the Brigadier rushes over to where his old friend the Doctor is lying covered in blood.

Meanwhile back in the TARDIS the 10th Doctor is already at the TARDIS console and ready to start another day's adventures, he pauses briefly as though there is something that he has forgotten.

Rose: "You all right"

10th Doctor: "Yeah, just felt like someone had called for my help"

Rose: "Nothing unusual about that, the TARDIS seems to pick up distress calls all the time, in fact, we seem to spend quite a lot of time being chased just because we tried to help out"

10th Doctor: "Yeah but it felt like it was coming from a part of my brain that has been dormant"

Rose: "Well do you have any idea where they were?"

10th Doctor: "Uh kind of"

Rose: "In that case let's get going"

Back at U.N.I.T. headquarters the 3rd Doctor's companion Jo Grant is checking up on the 3rd Doctor to see if there are any improvements.

Jo: "Brigadier, I really think you should see this" surprisingly

Brigadier: "See what?"

Jo: "This could be important"

Brigadier: "Oh all right I suppose I can spare a few minutes … " he follows her through to the doctor's lab and freezes in the doorway "what! is this?! Miss Grant if this is your idea of a practical joke? We are not in art class are we?"

Jo: "Well if it is a joke it sure isn't funny, I just checked to see if there had been any improvement and well look at him"

10th Doctor: "You can say that again, I mean this guy looks as though he's been through a lot recently wouldn't you agree Rose?"

They turn around shocked at the arrival of this new stranger and his companion

Brigadier: "Excuse me but who are you?"

10th Doctor: "Come along now Brigadier, I'd have thought that you would have recognised me, after all, I've been around long enough, yet again on the hand I guess I have changed a bit since we last met"

Rose: "Sorry about my friend, he can be a bit mysterious. My name's Rose and this is the Doctor"

10th Doctor: "Yeah sorry to burst in, we picked up a distress call and decided to investigate"

The Brigadier groans as he feels a strange sense of Deja Vu and feels another strong headache starting.

Brigadier: "Oh great!, it really is you, as if I don't have enough to worry about!"

Meanwhile, Jo looks at them feeling more bemused.

Jo: "So are you going to take a look at our friend or not?"

10th Doctor: "Of course I am. Would I be right in assuming that you are Miss Grant?"

Jo: "How did you know that?"

10th Doctor: "Oh I've been around a bit, never forget a face you know. Speaking of which does this man have a name?"

Brigadier: "Yes his name's Dr John Smith but he prefers to be known simply as The Doctor"

10th Doctor: "Ah I thought so well he's got good taste then, always did like a man with an air of mystery isn't that right Rose?" he says nudging her as she rolls her eyes at Jo, smiling at her conspiratorially "so does he like motor cars by any chance?"

Brigadier: "Yes he's got a bright yellow one"

10th Doctor: "Ah yes I think I remember her, a fine little motor car that one, very nippy" he replies, pausing from his examination, looking wistful with a fond expression on his face "well I must say I've never seen anyone with symptoms like these before . . ."

The 3rd Doctor appears to be waking up:

3rd Doctor: "Excuse me but can a man not get a couple of hours rest without being disturbed. Oh, and may I ask why you're upside down?"

10th Doctor: "Actually I believe that it's you who's upside-down"

3rd Doctor: "Really. I don't think that we've been introduced, Doctor John Smith but most people just call me the Doctor"

10th Doctor: "Really what a coincidence, me too" he says smiling broadly and holding out his hand

3rd Doctor: "My dear fellow you don't mean to suggest that you are me do you?"

10th Doctor: "Spot on give the man a gold star. Anyhow I think that you should look in the mirror"

3rd Doctor: "Why?"

10th Doctor: "Just do it please!"

3rd Doctor: "All right" he says sounding quite put out

3rd Doctor: "Oh my, well this is quite an unfortunate turn of events.

We can finally see the dramatic change from a brave man of science into a nightmarish vision from the depths of hell itself. His normally silver quiffed hair now appears darker and more slicked back, chalk-white skin replaces the colourful fleshy tones, the deep blue eyes now shimmer back a ruby red and two impressive sharply pointed fangs loom out of the mouth.

3rd Doctor: " No wonder I felt as though I'd got up on the wrong side of the bed."

10th Doctor: "Oh I think you definitely skipped the bed, in fact, I rather think you can't get much further from the bed "

Rose: "Doctor!"

10th Doctor: "What?"

3rd Doctor: "Oh I do hope I haven't scared your friend, after all, looks can be deceptive"

Rose: "Don't worry I'm fine. Oh and my name is Rose"

3rd Doctor: "Pleasure to meet you, Rose …"

A phone rings down the corridor.

Brigadier: "I'd better go answer that it could be serious"

The Brigadier exits the room.

10th Doctor: "I just hope you haven't been draining anyone's blood?"

3rd Doctor: "I am not a bloodthirsty cannibal!"

10th Doctor: "Well I would be dead if you were. Anyhow I'm just checking better safe than sorry"

Jo: "Well I think I would remember if he'd bitten me" she says indignantly leaping to his defence "so is he really a true vampire then? I mean surely we shouldn't be able to see his reflection if he was really a vampire"

The two Doctors look at each other both pondering the implications of this last statement.

10th Doctor: "Well that really is the question. Hm, I think if I were to hazards guess I'd say that our Time Lord DNAan alien physiology has enabled his body to fight off some of the effects of the vampire DNA"

3rd Doctor: "Quite, of course, it'd be quite impossible to tell without running some tests …"

10th Doctor: "But hopefully the effects may be more cosmetic than physiological, perhaps some increased strength, quicker reflexes. The effects may only be temporary or we might be able to brew a cure to reverse the side effects"

The Brigadier enters again looking baffled as they ponder this.

Jo: "What's the matter Brigadier?"

Brigadier: "Oh nothing much, it's just that I got a rather confusing phone call reporting sightings of tank-like creatures that reek of garlic and go around shouting !garlicinate!"

Rose: "Sounds like a Dalek that has been on holiday to France"

10th Doctor: "I doubt Daleks have time for holidays"

3rd Doctor: "Sounds like we're needed. Doctor, do you and Rose want to accompany me and Jo in Bessie? Brigadier if you'd be so good as to rally the troops in case we need back up"

10th Doctor: "I'll say that might just be the best offer I've had all day well unless there's a good cup of tea on offer?" he asked eagerly looking around hopefully, looking crestfallen when one failed to materialise, before perking up and chatting away happily to the Doctor "you know it's been a long time since I've been for a spin in Bessie. Come on Rose, don't want to miss out on the fun, do we? You're going to love this"

Jo:" Boys and their toys hey, they don't change much" she says smiling at Rose apologetically.

A brisk car ride later they arrive near the area where the Daleks were spotted.

Head Garlic Dalek: "We have been waiting for you Garlic Daleks, !garlicinate! him immediately"

Other Garlic Daleks: "We must obey. !Garlicinate! !Garlicinate!"

3rd Doctor: "I wonder what will happen if it hits me?"

Brigadier: "You do realise it could kill you?"

3rd Doctor "Yes that's part of the fun"

Brigadier: "I knew it he's barmy, I always thought so but clearly the vampire bite's addled his brain"

3rd Doctor: "Well I am a scientist and nothing was ever gained without taking a few risks"

The garlic ammo hits the 3rd Doctor full on. He looks slightly befuddled and then his expression changes to one of pain as he collapses to the floor.

Jo: "You killed him!" she cries out in concern

3rd Doctor: "Please don't make a fuss over me. Honestly you didn't think it was that easy to kill me did you? I'm insulted" he says as she helps him up and he checks himself over dusting himself off

Brigadier: "Good to see you're ok but, how do you propose we stop these Garlic Daleks?"

10th Doctor: "Why don't we slice, dice and deep fry them?"

Brigadier: "Why not" he says in exasperation "I suppose it makes about as much sense as anything else which has happened today but since they would appear to be made purely of garlic then I don't see why it shouldn't work"

3rd Doctor: "We could just ask them if they wanted to help some French chefs it would be the ideal career choice"

A few months later in France and one of the Chefs is on the phone:

Chef: "Hello, yes it is me. No those Garlic Daleks you sold me have been nothing but trouble, they have ruined the reputation of myself and the other chefs, everyone is scared to come round to our restaurant and worst of all they have been attempting to enslave me and my fellow chefs"

3rd Doctor: "I'll be over right away. Honestly never trust a Dalek even a garlic one"

Jo: "I told you it was a bad idea, Daleks will always be Daleks even if they are coated in garlic"

3rd Doctor:" Yes well it was worth a try I mean they are made of garlic so what's the worst that could happen? Ah well guess it really is back to the chopping board, at least I've got something to get my teeth into it was getting much too quiet around here anyway"