1
While Carlos was in the kitchen,TK was desperately trying to concentrate on what he was reading. But after reading the same paragraph for the third time, distracted by Carlos softly humming, he decided to stop. He listened idly for a few seconds before getting up to see him. Like a sailor attracted by the song of the sirens.
Arriving in the kitchen, he stopped, the breath cut by the show which offered itself to him. Carlos moved to the rhythm of the melody he was humming, completely oblivious of the effect these movements had on TK.
He must have heard him coming, because he turned to TK, a cup of coffee in his hand.
"I made you some coffee," he said, handing him the cup. TK looked at Carlos and then contemplated the bottom of his cup, trying to control himself because if he looked up at Carlos he was going to jump on him.
He took a slight breath to give himself some composure and stammered a thank you.
"You looked focused, so I didn't say anything and was going to bring it to you." Carlos smiled slightly and TK had the words at the edges of his lips
"Carlos, I really... I... I don't deserve you."
Carlos looked at him a little oddly but did nothing but smile softly at him before leaning in and giving him a light kiss.
He whispered, "You're welcome." before leaving the room, unaware that he was leaving behind a completely smitten TK.
2
The next time, TK decided to take a different approach. Carlos liked flowers judging from the first time he invited TK, who in retrospect was ashamed of the way he had behaved this time. He had a lot to make up for.
He looked for a florist on the internet and a few minutes later he walked through the door of a store and ordered a bouquet of white flowers.
"How mad is she?" the florist asked, "Should I put a little card in it for you?"
TK smiled with a confidence he was far from feeling and shaking his head, he replied, "I'm just not good with words so I want to try to make him understand in other ways."
He paid, took the flowers and left the store under the fond gaze of the florist.
Back home, TK carefully placed the flowers in a vase and put them on the living room table. He was a little nervous, after all it was the first time he had given flowers to a lover in his life.
He waited and stood up suddenly when he heard the keys in the door, he tried to take a natural pose and waited to see Carlos' reaction.
"Hey handsome! Oh wow, pretty flowers!"
He walked over to TK, kissed him then hugged him for a moment before sighing sighing with contentment, "Haaa... work day finally over. Anyway it's nice to come home and see these flowers. It's really nice of you to take the trouble to decorate! It makes a big difference."
TK stared at him and opened his mouth. "Yeah, I think it does too. Actually I... I." and once again the words didn't come out.
He forced himself to continue "Yes, I thought it would brighten up the room, I like... well I love..."
Carlos looked at him with the same slightly strange look but simply said, "Thank you!" before adding, "I've been sweating like crazy today, I'm going to take a shower."
Once Carlos exited the room, TK slumped onto the couch, and sighed, "It won't be for this time..."
3
Carlos arrived at the scene of the fire at full speed, flashing his lights, and drove right up to the fire truck.
He ran to TK who was sitting on the side of the road as the rest of the crew finished putting out the fire.
"TK!"
Tk looked up at him, looking completely defeated.
Carlos sat down next to him, "Hey, you okay, are you hurt?"
TK whispered, "We didn't get everyone out."
"Oh babe, I'm so sorry." Carlos put an arm around his shoulders.
"Why didn't you save him!" a voice shouted from behind them.
They stood up and turned to face the voice owner, Carlos still had his arm around TK's shoulders.
"I-I'm sorry, I did everything I could to get your husband out, but it was too late."
"Ah you're sorry! But you'll be able to go home with the one you love! You'll be able to sleep peacefully in the same bed tonight."
Tk didn't know what to say in response and Carlos tightened his arm around his shoulders before saying in a gentle yet firm tone, "Ma'am I'm sorry for your pain, you have my deepest sympathy, but I'm sure TK and his team gave it their all. And I can assure you that tonight the guilt will keep him awake, because for TK and his colleagues, losing someone in the line of duty is an ordeal they don't forget once they get home."
The woman just nodded before turning on her heels.
TK leant even more into the arm around him. He turned to Carlos to tell him when Carlos whispered, "TK, I don't know if you need me to tell you this, but don't take what she said to heart, it was grief talking and you couldn't have prevented what happened, ok sweetheart? "
After a few seconds of silence TK, his throat tight, replied, "Yes, I know that, but thank you for saying it."
Carlos smiled at him and hugged him for a moment before leaving and walking away.
Tk called out to him, the words at the edges of his lips.
"Carlos!"
Carlos turned and looked at him.
TK couldn't do it. Once again.
"No, it's okay, I'll be there soon."
Carlos nodded and went on his way.
Maybe next time he'll be able to say the words...
4
It was a Sunday morning, peaceful, neither of them had to work.
They were having breakfast together, and Carlos still looked half asleep and TK couldn't help but stare at him as usual.
His boyfriend was too cute for the sake of TK's heart rate, and when he stretched, his shirt riding up over his perfectly shaped abs, TK thought he was going to have to bring his dad in to be reanimated.
"What's the matter, I have a pimple on my nose?" asked Carlos, having caught the look on TK's face.
TK thought, the matter is I love you, I love you, I love you .
But the words didn't pass his mouth.
Carlos waved his hand in front of TK's eyes, snapped his fingers and said, "Hello Moon, this is Earth, someone's here?"
"Sorry," TK bit into a piece of toast to give himself some composure.
Carlos brushed his cheek before asking, "Well, you seemed lost far away in thought, care to share?"
TK shook his head, the moment had passed, it was a dead end again.
"Nothing. Nothing important. It's about work, sorry..." TK took on a sheepish look.
"TK, are you okay?"
"Yes, yes Babe, don't worry, everything is fine."
He gently kissed Carlos to prove to him what he just said and they continued their breakfast with a relaxed conversation..
5
"I swear to you Paul, I am cursed, cursed, cursed! Every time I want to tell him, Bam! I get stuck and the words don't come out of my mouth."
Back at the fire station, in the break room, TK was circling.
"Don't worry TK, I'm sure he knows that actually, and just let it happen, if you push too hard it's sure to get stuck."
"What the hell!" continued TK, following the same path, to the point that Carlos thought he was going to dig grooves in the ground. "It's not hard to say three words!"
Paul stood up and stopped TK, holding him by the wrist. "TK, calm down, okay? When was the last time you said those words to someone else?"
TK took a deep breath before answering, "Alex, my ex. The one I proposed to and who told me he was with someone else. He's actually the only one of my exes I've said those words to."
Paul took him by the shoulder, "I understand better... I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself and subconsciously blocking because the one person you said those words to, betrayed you. Just calm down, and before you try one more time, take the time to think about your relationship, about Carlos, about why you love him."
"... okay..."
Before leaving, Paul added, "And you know TK, if you can't tell him, I'm sure you've already made it clear without the words. Anyone can see that."
He winked at him before leaving.
TK went home and sat on the couch with his head in his hands and began to think, to remember.
Carlos always there for him, always caring, how could he not love him. He loved his eyes when he smiled. No matter what he did he was sexy, even when he was doing the laundry. He loved the look in Carlos' eyes when he laid eyes on TK, like he was the most important person in the world. He loved his sense of family and his dedication to those he loved. Carlos had never judged TK for his past and present mistakes and always tried to understand him. They were never bored together. With Carlos, it was the first time that TK wanted to be a better person every day, to excel and to get out of his father's shadow. In fact it was simple, if he compared it to Alex and God knows he didn't like to compare his exes, but what he had felt for Alex was not a quarter of a third of the love he felt for Carlos."
He had reached this point in his thoughts when the door opened, he quickly got up and ran to the entrance, he wanted to tell him right away, now.
Carlos stepped through the door and TK was stopped in his tracks. His lover looked exhausted and sad.
"Hey babe, what's wrong?"
Carlos moved forward and sighed, "It's been a hell of a day." So TK simply took him in his arms.
"Come on, let me take care of you."
He pulled Carlos along with him, he told himself that the next time would be the time and for now he was going to take care of his lover. If he couldn't say the words, he was going to prove it with his actions.
+1
The next morning, TK woke up with the feeling of being watched.
He opened his eyes to find himself facing Carlos who was smiling tenderly at him.
"So the sleeping beauty is awake?"
TK stretched and replied with a smile, "Hm, I don't know, his prince hasn't kissed him yet."
Carlos leaned over him and getting closer, he whispered, "I definitely have to fix this mistake" before kissing him.
TK made a sound of surprise before clinging to Carlos' shoulders and responding to the kiss. He chest heaved, his breath coming in gasps as Carlos finally released him and took a moment to look at him.
TK's legs automatically spread as Carlos climbed on top of him and pressed his body against his.
"Wow," TK gasped. "I think the Sleeping Beauty is awake."
Carlos smiled and leaned in to kiss him again, more gently this time.
When they separated again to catch their breath, with what little sense of clarity he had left, TK forcefully pushed Carlos and reversed positions. Then he took Carlos' surprised face in his hands and said simply, his lips against his, "I love you."
Carlos immediately replied, "I love you TK, I-"
"Shhh'' TK put a finger over his mouth, and continued, "If I stop, I won't be able to continue, I've been thinking a lot lately, about how to tell you I love you and how and why, and the list is so long. So let me tell you the most important points. I love you because life is so fun by your side. You encourage me to be the best version of myself. I feel strong with you by my side. I love you because whenever I am in your arms, I feel true happiness. I love it when you dance like nobody's watching. I love you for everything you have made me discover about myself. You share your strength with me when I am weak. You let me sing even if I'm terrible at it. You are always ready to defend me and stand by my side. I love you because when we are together, silence is never uncomfortable. But most of all, I love you because you are you, Carlos, the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I love you."
Carlos smiled amidst the tears he made no attempt to hide and then drew TK's face to his neck and whispered over and over again how much he loved him.
They stayed a long time like that, tasting the happiness of shared feelings, because if it was true that actions often said more than words, sometimes words were necessary as much for those who heard them as those who said them.