A/N: This chapter is set in season 2 episode 3. I'm sure we all wanted more from this scene. Hope you enjoy!
Jason sat in his vintage car reflecting on it all. The death of Alana. The life they had together. The break down that scared the hell out of his kids. The choices he had made in life that led him to this point. The regrets he had. How would he and his kids move forward. Then almost on cue, when he felt most helpless, she appears at the end of the driveway.
She stops in front of the car and takes in a lost and broken looking Jason. She never thought she would witness him in this state. "Came as soon as I heard."
Jason doesn't meet her eyes with his. "No more sympathy, all right?" He looks off in the distance before looking at her and shaking his head. "None." He shifts. "No more how are you holding up, Jason questions." He watches her stand sill, listening to him. "I don't want to talk about me, and I don't want to talk about Alana."
Mandy makes her way to the passenger door of the car. She silently gets in and shuts the door. She knows him well enough to not push him to talk. Jason Hayes doesn't do what he doesn't want to, especially talk about his feelings. She sees his right hand resting on the dash, she reaches out and lays her hand over his. She could feel his tension, the weight of his world now resting completely on his shoulders.
"Mandy." He whispers. He doesn't know what he is going to say next. He hopes their bond will come through; that she will just know what he's trying to say.
"I'm here Jason." Mandy strokes Jason's hand with her thumb. "Whatever you need." She feels his pain. His need for comfort, but refusal to let go of control. Without making a sound Jason starts the car. "I didn't realize this car is actually functioning."
Jason shakes his head and smirks. Of course, she was making a joke, he thinks. He shouldn't be shocked though, he told her she wasn't allowed to talk about the most pressing matters. "Do you really think I wouldn't be able to get this car in working order?"
Mandy rolls her head that was leaning against the headrest and looks at him. "You never know. I know a lot about you, but not everything."
This was a good moment in all of the shitty ones he had been wading through. Him and Mandy driving through the night, wind assaulting him, punching his worries out of him. No one pressing him. No one looking at him to fix it or be the strong one. He was safe with her. "Now you know how good my mechanic skills."
Mandy saw him starting to relax. "I can't remember the last time I just went for a drive."
"How crazy is this." Jason glances over at her. "I haven't driven this car more than around the block in about two years."
"Not inside the three foot world?" Mandy says more as a statement than a question. She knew it was a risky move, but she knew eventually he would step outside of being Bravo one and start feeling as Jason again.
"Thought you liked me three foot world." Jason says in an attempt to deflect what she was trying to do.
Mandy squints her eyes at him, knowing what he was doing. But deciding to play along with Jason's game. "I like you Jace. And one of the things I like about you is that you don't block me into that world. You talk to me. You laugh with me." Mandy pauses. "I get to see the real Jason."
Jason pulls into a gravel lot overlooking the ocean. He sits quietly letting himself feel the gravity of the situation. "She was my world."
"I know she was Jason." Mandy says stroking his shoulder.
"But I don't think she knew she was. She thought the team was." Jason stares straight ahead. It was easier to look out into the emptiness, which mimicked what he was feeling. "Remember when we met, and I told you she knew I left her along ago."
"She knew how much you loved her." Mandy tells him.
"It was supposed to be me." Jason huffs. "I was the one that was supposed to die, not her. She was supposed to morn me, not the other way around. I don't know how to do this."
Mandy clasps her hand around his. "No one knows how to do this. Alana wouldn't have known what to do if you had died in battle."
"But that's war." Jason grumbles.
Mandy looks over at him and sees the pain he was feeling written on his face. "Trust me, that's not how Alana would have felt. No matter your marriage status Jace, she loved you."
"She was strong enough to handle me dying." Jason leans his head back and looks up at the stars. "I'm not strong enough to do this all on my own."
"You're not on your own." Mandy points out. "Look how everyone rallied around you. You will have support, every step of the way."
"How am I going to be their only living parent and keep operating?" Jason says softly. "I love my kids, but I love my team."
"I wish I could answer that for you Jason, I do, but that is a balance that only you can decide." Mandy tells him. "Talk to the kids, especially Emma and see how they feel. And it's okay to stand down for a while, no one with think different of you. We can handle it."
Jason doesn't respond. He sits, absorbing what she had said. "Thank you for coming. I needed to talk to someone who doesn't look at me like with pity eyes."
"Everyone is shocked by this, like you said, it should have been you." Mandy pats him on the thigh. "You're welcome."