BROOKLYN — 1892

Eight-year-old Colleen stumbled forward from the sudden shove, gouging her knees against the wooden step, and catching herself with her open palms against the grime of another one.

"Ow!" She shrieked, lying there crumpled in a heap.

"You're going too slow," Thirteen-year-old Matthew Tracey said, side-stepping past her.

"Hey, easy!" Jesse shouted, lunging up the steps two at a time easily. "Easy, Matt. She's a little girl." With one swoop, he'd picked Colleen up and set her upright on the step, brushing the dirt from her pinafore and ripped stockings. "You don't play rough with her. She ain't one of your friends."

Matthew rolled his eyes. "You're right. She's a lazy little bitch who can't do anything right."

Jesse smacked him upside the head with one, quick motion. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" He mumbled once Colleen was out of earshot. "Say that again, and I'll knock your teeth out."

Matthew didn't know why he treated Colleen like that. He just did. He'd broken her last doll by tearing it limb from limb, so Jesse had to save his money to buy her another cheap one.

Colleen liked to play dress up in her mother's lacy chemises and dab on the lipstick she often wore. Her mother rarely paid attention to her, and Matthew thought she was useless. She feared so many things. Thunderstorms, the dark, the landlord, large dogs.

Seventeen-year-old Jesse seemed to be the only one to give her a chance. He'd give her rides on his back, play dolls, sit for imaginary tea parties, fix her hair, and cuddle her after a nightmare. Matthew couldn't be bothered. The siblings were opposites. Jesse and Colleen were affectionate, loving, and joyful. Matthew was distant, nonchalant, and brooding. Before their left for the bar two years ago (and never came back), he said Jesse was too soft for his own good, and Colleen would be easily-lead in life. Their father had nothing to say about Matthew, almost as though he'd forgotten about his second child.

Colleen adored her older brothers, though she was very gullible. A week ago, Matthew convinced Colleen she had to run away. He said their mother couldn't afford to feed all of them, so the youngest had to strike out on her own.

"You'll have to live by yourself," Matthew said, shoving her nightgown and doll in a blanket. "You gotta leave now, before Jesse gets home. It'll be dark soon."

He'd fastened the blanket into a bundle and slung it over Colleen's shoulder.

"But I don't want to go by myself," she protested.

Matthew shrugged. "Too bad. We can't keep you no more," he'd replied simply and shoved her out of the door.

Colleen had made her way out of the flat and into the streets, towing her little bundle along with her.

It was well into the evening when Jesse came home from work and spotted her along the sidewalk. He asked what she was doing all by herself, and Colleen explained what Matthew had said.

"Oh, no, sweet girl," Jesse said. "You ain't going nowhere. Don't listen to him."

"Will Matthew be mad because I'm home?"

"No. I'll talk to him." Again, Jesse thought. "He's not allowed to do that."

Colleen had pulled on his arm. "Will you carry me?"

Jesse took her bundle. "Mm-hm. Can you jump?"

Colleen grinned, springing into her older brother's arms as he hoisted her up.

"Good girl. Let's get you home."

The two brothers had a long, heated discussion after that incident. Jesse didn't understand what had compelled Matthew to throw her out and potentially never see her again. Thankfully, Jesse had caught her before she'd wandered off and disappeared.

And now, as they made their way up the stairs to their flat in Brooklyn, Matthew had pushed Colleen for walking too slow. She'd been in her own little world again, humming to herself, and fiddling with her hair.

Jesse was apprehensive to open the door. If their mother was entertaining, as she often was, he didn't want to interrupt.

Usually, she'd shoo the kids out of the flat when she'd have her male visitors over. But if they stopped by unexpectedly, she'd make the three of them get into the closet until whoever it was left. There was nothing to do but keep quiet and listen to the men talk to their mother. Then there would be muffled laughter and rustled garments, headboard slams, and their mother's moans and sighs. Colleen would fall asleep in there, and Jesse and Matthew would stand for an hour or so, crammed together. Meanwhile, Mrs. Tracey brushed her hair, smoothed the sheets, washed her face, and opened the door. She was beautiful, at one point that is. Raven hair, green eyes, long lashes, and full lips. Jesse and Matthew took after her, whereas Colleen had blonde hair and dark eyes like their father.

The clients came from every corner of the city, from all levels of society. They came at all hours of the day. And Mrs. Tracey would hang about, scantily-clad in her shift and stockings. When she wasn't entertaining, she was drunk with the money she'd earned. And if she'd spent all that, she'd dig into Jesse's wages. And then Matthew's.

When Jesse cracked the door open, he peered in, and then shut it quickly – but not before Matthew caught a glimpse. The sounds from behind the closed door told him enough.

"Okay, let's play outside," Jesse suggested.

"But it's freezing outside," Matthew said.

"And I want my doll," Colleen agreed, stomping her foot a little.

Jesse took Colleen's hand. "We'll come back."

Matthew nodded to the door. "Ma's fucking some guy, ain't she? Well, I'd rather be in that closet than freeze to death outside."

Jesse leaned in to whisper, "I don't want you seeing that."

"Like it's something I ain't seen before."

Jesse pointed to Colleen who was staring up at them curiously. "I don't want her in there."

"Will you get my doll, Jesse? Please?" Colleen begged, jumping up and down. "She's lonely."

"Sure," Jesse said, offering a teasing smile. "What does she answer to?"

"Her name is Maisie," Colleen explained. "She's gonna have a baby. She's praygrant."

Jesse cocked an eyebrow as Matthew rolled his eyes.

"Dolls don't get pregnant, Leeny," Matthew grumbled.

"Oh, I see," Jesse said to Colleen. Then to Matthew, "Watch her. I'll be right back."

After he closed the door, Colleen smiled up at Matthew. He returned it with a grimace, shaking his head.

"What?"

"Will you play make believe with me, Matthew?" She asked, balancing on her tippy toes. "I'll be the mommy, and Maisie will be the baby, and you can be the daddy, and Jesse can be—"

"No, that's stupid," Matthew said.

"Please? Pretty please?"

Rolling his eyes, Matthew didn't budge. "You're a whiny little bitch, ain't ya."

Ignoring him, Colleen looked down at her brother's boots. "Your laces are untied. Look!"

"Then get down and tie them," Matthew demanded flatly.

"Okay!" Colleen said, grinning proudly. "I know how! Jesse taught me."

As she proceeded to fumble with the laces, Matthew tapped his other boot impatiently. "You ain't pulling it tight enough," he said, watching her struggle with the loops and weaves of a bow.

Frustrated, Colleen pulled as hard as she could on one side of the laces, ripping the string right out of the boot. "Oh, no!" She gasped, staring at the loose lace in her hands. "I'm sorry!"

Matthew rolled his eyes again and raised his left boot, stomping hard on her fingers without warning. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" He asked, echoing what Jesse had said to him.

Howling and crying, Colleen cradled her reddened fingers. "Oh, Matthew, why did you have to do that?" She cried hysterically, staring up at him through her tears. "I said I was sorry!"

"Quit crying. You ain't a baby no more."

Jesse emerged from the flat with Colleen's doll in hand. He paused when he saw her crying. "Colleen, what..." He trailed off, turning to Matthew. "Why is she crying?"

"She pulled the laces out of my boot," Matthew replied simply. "So I stepped on her fingers."

Jesse stared back, dumbfounded by his admission. "I can't trust you to watch her for one minute?"

Matthew shrugged, and Jesse bent down to inspect the damage.

"Baby, what happened?" Jesse gently lifted Colleen's injured hand, turning it over to look at it. "Did your fingers get hurt? Let me see."

Colleen wouldn't stop crying. "I said I was sorry," she stammered again. "I didn't mean to."

"Shh, I know." Jesse kissed her bruised fingers. "All better. You're okay. I promise."

Again, Matthew looked annoyed as he waited for Jesse to finish coddling their sister.

When Colleen got up and took her doll, Jesse pulled Matthew aside and muttered angrily, "Jesus Christ, Matthew. She's a baby. Be gentle with her. Always."

Matthew folded his arms. "Not my fault she cries."

"She's eight," Jesse said, shoving him slightly. "I would've cried."

Matthew didn't bother apologizing. He just moved on like always. And Colleen quickly forgot and forgave, as usual.

Jesse remained fiercely vigilant over both of them. He didn't care how hard Matthew pushed him away. He wouldn't leave like their father.

A year later, Jesse was dead. Matthew had gone to watch his final moments. Colleen stayed behind at home with their mother, who wasn't sober enough to leave the flat.

All Matthew could think about after the trapdoor opened and Jesse fell through was what a pain it would be to mind Colleen now that their brother was gone.

And as it turned out, running away was a lot easier than staying. Jesse had once eerily told Matthew that if anything happened to him, it was Matthew's job to get Colleen and himself out from under their mother's roof. Jesse swore she would entice Colleen onto the same path as her, and he was right.

So one evening, while Mrs. Tracey was occupied with a guest, Matthew took Colleen and left, knowing he'd never come back.

"What about mommy?" Colleen asked as he pulled her along.

"Forget her. We ain't living there," Matthew replied through gritted teeth.

"What about daddy?"

"He ain't coming back. He don't want us no more."

"What about Jesse? Can we go live with him?"

"Jesse ain't coming back, either."

Colleen struggled to keep up with his long strides through the street. "But I don't want to leave."

Matthew stopped walking and dropped her hand. "Okay. Fine. Go back. You're on your own."

Colleen's eyes widened, and she took his hand again. "Wait, don't leave me, Matthew! I'm scared."

"Then hurry up," Matthew said, eyeing Colleen's doll, Maisie, tucked under her arm. "And give me that doll."

Colleen looked puzzled. "What do you want her for?"

"I gotta sell it."

"No, Matthew!" Colleen stomped, her face turning pale. "She's mine!"

Matthew rolled his eyes. "You don't need no dolls, Colleen. Grow up. You need to eat, and selling her will get you food."

Colleen hugged Maisie close. "No, she needs me! I'm her mommy! She'll miss me!"

"Dolls don't have feelings," Matthew mumbled. "Wise up."

Colleen considered this as they walked along, clutching her doll protectively. Finally, she asked, "Will you carry me?"

"No."

"But my feet hurt."

"I don't give a shit."

"Please, Matthew?" Colleen squeaked, pulling on his arm. "Please?"

"I said no, Leeny."

And when she began to cry, Matthew barked out a laugh. "That may have worked on Jesse, but it sure as hell won't work on me."

Sniffling a bit, Colleen brushed her blonde hair behind her ear. With a wavering voice, she added, "I'll...I'll give you Maisie. You can sell her."

Wordlessly, Matthew snatched the doll out of Colleen's outstretched hand. "Good."

"Will you carry me now?"

"Ask me that again, and I'll knock your teeth out," Matthew shot back, ignoring her tears.

Part of him thought about leaving her at an orphanage, but part of him knew he needed her. It was all very complicated, and his mind couldn't make a clear decision.

"I want to go home to my mommy," Colleen whimpered, doing the baby voice she usually summoned to get her way.

Matthew shook his head. "You are such a goddamn idiot, you know that?"

Wiping her nose, Colleen held his hand tighter. "No, I'm not."

"Ma wanted to sell you, like I'm going to sell your doll," Matthew said, trying to put it in terms she could understand. "Sort of."

"That's not true," Colleen replied shakily.

"Are you blind, Colleen?" Matthew smacked her upside the head. "Yes, she did. Why do you think they took Jesse away? He killed that fucking bastard who—"

Colleen gasped, widening her eyes again. "Jesse said you're not supposed to say that word."

Matthew paused. Had she been listening to him at all? Did she understand what any of this even meant?

"Jesse ain't here," Matthew said coldly. "I'm all you got now."