MANHATTAN - OCTOBER 1899
Bella had never been the type of person to indulge in mind-altering substances. Alcohol every now and then, but never hash or morphine or whatever else came her way.
Sophie had tried to smoke opium once, but after inhaling through the pipe, she'd coughed the white clouds out of her mouth before it could travel to her lungs.
She'd shared a few cigarettes in her day, but she didn't understand what all the fuss was about. Leah lit cigarette after cigarette at Medda's. But it always left Sophie's throat feeling scratchy and her breath smelling acrid.
Addiction was dangerous – Sophie had seen that in her brother with laudanum. It's part of what got him locked up in the Refuge.
Bella was by far more apprehensive. The idea of shifting her consciousness through a liquid or a pipe scared her into avoiding them altogether.
But on that chilly afternoon in October, a day after Jack's birthday celebration, Sophie came across Colleen huffing something through her nose in her room when Sophie walked by.
The next day, she found out for herself what it was.
The three girls were gathered in Colleen's room, sprawled out, chatting about everything and nothing under the dim flicker of candlelight. They had completed a long day of work in the same sewing factory that had employed Sarah, having spent hours hunched over sewing machines in a cramped room.
And now they were bored, with nothing to do. Not used to the downtime, having gone from the constant hullabaloo at Medda's.
"Hey, I have an idea," Colleen said in an ominous voice, rummaging for something in her apron pocket.
"Let's hear it," Sophie said, turning toward Colleen. She found herself staring at what appeared to be a small tin – one that peppermints might be stored in. Thinking that's exactly what was inside, Sophie shrugged and squinted in confusion. "I didn't think my breath was that bad."
Colleen opened the tin, revealing the white powder.
Bella peered in curiously, narrowing her eyes. "Okay…so you've got some sugar."
Colleen gave the most dramatic eye roll Sophie had ever seen. "What? No, you geese, this is burny. Are you kidding me?"
Burny – street slang for cocaine, Sophie remembered.
Embarrassment flushed Sophie's cheeks red as she tried to pretend like she knew what it was the whole time. Instead, she gave an awkward laugh. "Oh, yeah, obviously."
Bella remained quiet. She hadn't known Colleen to blow the stuff when they lived at Irving Hall.
"Yeah," Colleen replied, giving Sophie a sideways look. She met Bella's stare. "Anyway. You wanna…?"
Sophie shrugged. "No, that's okay. But you can. I mean, I ain't stopping you. I've seen people do it, like…a lot, so I'm not judging you. Go for it. I don't even care. Whatever you want to do." She fumbled over her words, trying not to come off entirely green.
Colleen shook her head. "You're the worst liar ever."
Sophie looked at Bella reclined next to her on the floor, knowing Colleen was right.
"Really, girls, it's fine," Colleen said reassuringly. "We'll be safe in here. Nothing crazy's going to happen. I just want you to try it, and if you don't like it, then that's fine, too."
"This is the exact definition of peer pressure," Bella muttered, getting up to sit on the bed next to Colleen. "You know that, right?"
Sophie remained on the floor. "Where did you even get that stuff?"
"My brother."
Bella exchanged a worried look with Sophie. "Did you steal it from him? Or did he give it to you?"
Colleen shrugged. "I stole it. Obviously. You know he doesn't like to share."
"Aren't you scared he'll figure out you took it?" Bella furthered with an eyebrow raise.
"He'd more likely assume Alexei or his girlfriend stole it before I did," Colleen replied, giving Bella an amused look. "Besides, he has more than one stash. He's not an idiot."
"True," Sophie mumbled.
Colleen pulled the small mirror of the wall, set it down on the bed, poured out a little of the stuff, and chopped up the already fine powder with the flat part of her room key, creating three straight lines – all in rather impressive timing.
Colleen slid the mirror toward the two girls. "Just bend down, inhale through your nose like you're sniffling. Helps if you push your other nostril closed."
Neither Sophie nor Bella had ever tried this before. Sophie felt like somehow Jack would find out, that he'd know and kick down the door any second now. But having seen Colleen do it a few times before, it didn't look all that scary. And Sophie didn't want to seem like a baby.
"Okay." Sophie sat next to Bella and leaned down to the glass. Her heart flipped a little as nerves creeped their way up her spine. They exchanged a nervous look.
Not wanting to look completely clueless, they tilted their heads, put their noses to the glass, and sniffed a little bit of powder – leaving half of their lines on the mirror, like they were trying to get a general sense of it.
But it didn't smell like anything. Was it supposed to? Tasted a bit like clay. It burned, feeling like they'd just shot hot peppers up her nose. Bella felt like she had to sneeze. Upon reflex, Sophie began coughing uncontrollably, pushing the mirror back to Colleen who quickly snorted her line and the rest of Bella and Sophie's.
"Wow," Colleen said, shaking her head. "This really is your first time, huh?"
Sophie gasped for breath. Bella shrugged, looking for water and finding a half-gone glass of clear liquid on Colleen's dresser – the one that had sat there overnight. Bella grabbed it and downed the contents quickly.
"Oh, no, Bella, maybe don't drink that…okay…or drink all of it. Jesus." Colleen spoke too late, watching her friend chug the vodka and then cringe from the taste. "Oh, shit…that can't be good."
"What the hell?" Bella choked on the alcohol, spitting some of it back in the glass. "Why does it taste like that?" She began gagging and wheezing, shaking her head as she fought for air.
Sophie finally managed to feel oxygen go into her lungs.
"Well, that ain't water. It's vodka," Colleen said, confused as to why Bella was panicking so much.
"Goddamn, it's fucking strong," Bella groaned, feeling breathless already.
"Whoa, Bella's swearing," Colleen mused quietly, cracking a smile.
A loud creak from outside the room made Sophie flinch. She heard the creaking again. "Did you hear that?" She asked, her voice hoarse.
Colleen wiped her nose and nodded. Sophie noticed the landlady's cat Jezebel slink into the room through the creaky door. Colleen smirked. "You're panicking for nothing, Sophie. Take it easy."
"God," Bella exhaled, holding her head as the burning in her nose ceased. "This is sinful…" she said, ignoring the sideways look she got from Sophie.
Colleen laughed, watching the two relax as she sat on the floor to pet the cat.
A few minutes later, Colleen laughed again and told Sophie and Bella how happy she was that they were alive. "Muggs said he's seen someone die after their first time," she explained off-handedly.
"Really?" Sophie asked in disbelief, though the idea still frightened her.
She and Bella joined Colleen on the floor, spread out on the intricate rug, staring up at the ceiling. Sophie ran her fingers along the scratchy material of the carpet, and then rubbed her eyes as if they itched.
"This feels so strange," Sophie said quietly, the ceiling spinning a little, her chest rising and falling quickly with each breath. "Do you feel that?"
Colleen closed her eyes and laughed a little. "I don't feel anything."
"Was it too much?" Bella asked nervously, which only made Colleen laugh harder. "What's the dosage? Are we going to die, too?"
"Calm down, both of you." Colleen's voice was faraway, her eyes now wide open. "You're fine."
"If we die, Jack will kill me," Sophie said in a high-pitched whine, the words coming out jumbled as if she spit them from her mouth quickly.
"Shit, Soph," Colleen replied, her eyes darting a bit, acting like she was really considering the possibility. "That don't even make no sense."
Bella tore a shaky hand through her hair, frowning. "My hair feels really soft tangled now. Like…it feels like a spiderweb. I think it's stuck like that forever, which is fine because I normally wear it up anyway, but I need you to know that it's very tangled."
Colleen's giggles grew louder, making Bella laugh as well, which only heightened Sophie's panic.
"There's something happening to my throat," Sophie said urgently, her blue eyes wide. "My throat feels numb, and I think my tongue is numb, too, and…Jesus, Colleen, my whole face feels frozen!"
Jezebel crawled onto Sophie's stomach and nestled against her dress, making Sophie go completely still. Her heartbeat sped up. "Colleen! Bella! Please look! Help me!"
Colleen kept laughing, and Bella turned to Sophie anxiously. "What? What is it?"
Sophie was staring at Jezebel as the cat purred on her chest, oblivious to the girl's freak-out. "Get her off me, please! Right now! I don't like it!" She cried as Colleen fell into another fit of hysterical giggles, prompting Bella to do the same.
Sophie spoke directly to the cat. "This cat is a witch, I swear," Sophie fretted, eyeing the cat's blank, uncaring visage. "She's secretly evil."
"Okay, this is the most fucked up I've ever seen anyone get off this stuff," Colleen managed to say amidst the laughter. "You need to relax."
The cat gave a frustrated meow and wandered out of the bedroom, on her way to cast spells, as far as Sophie was concerned, anyway.