CHAPTER TWELVE

November 1955.

"Angela! Come back here right now!" I half-heartedly call after her as she dashes away from me, her face lighting up at the site of her brothers across the street in the park with their school friends. Tim and that Miller boy sat on the wall with a couple of older boys, while Curly and the younger kids run around playing some noisy game or other. It's a little after four, my shopping weighing heavy in my arms as I try to catch up to my daughter, the same girl who has spent the whole walk home up until now dragging along at my heels, grizzling and whining like there's no tomorrow.

Tim spots us, pushes himself off of the wall and heads towards his sister, waves a goodbye to his friends as he guides her back towards the street as Curly rushes up to me.

"Hello, baby, you had a good day in school?"

"Yeah. Can we stay a little longer? Please, Ma?"

I smile at his question, the same thing he asks me every time this happens. "Sorry, but it's time to come home now, you know that."

"Hey, Ma." Tim appears at my side with Angela, takes the grocery bag from my arms as she chatters away at him as he sets off silently in the direction of home.

xxxxxx

We step inside the house, Angela and Curly still laughing over something, as I try to figure out how many meals I can squeeze out of the food we just bought and if I got enough cash spare to pay any off the rent, if I can keep us from having people knocking on the door demanding it for another week at least; so that it's not until I'm all the way down the hall and stepping into the kitchen that I realise the house isn't empty like it should be.

"Ted? What're you doing back?" In my shock at seeing him here the words spill out before I can stop myself. Guess I've got out the habit of actually thinking before I open my mouth these last few weeks.

He don't answer that though, only shakes his head at me. "No. The question is, where in hell have you been all day, sweetheart? Been waiting here for you since noon, only there ain't been no sign of you."

Taking a deep breath, I fix a smile on my face, try to keep my voice upbeat. "Well, you never called; I'd have been here if I'd known, just I wasn't expecting you 'til next month." I carry on across the room until I'm inches away from him standing there with his back against the counter, arms folded,not moving at all as I lean in to tentatively kiss him on the cheek.

"Well that much is obvious, only it don't exactly answer my question, does it?"

"Daddy!" Before I get a chance to reply Angela cries out, running to Ted and hugging his legs before he scoops her into his arms, the boys following behind her into the kitchen.

"Hey there, princess," he murmurs, kissing the top of her head as she hugs him tight, while he grins at Tim, even ruffles Curly's hair as he fidgets beside him. But despite their excitement, their happiness at him being here, Ted's eyes never leave me as he talks over the top of her head. "So where've you been, Jean? I'm gone for a couple months and you're running out on me? Is that how things are?" He drops Angela back to the floor, and glares at me while he waits for my response.

"No! It ain't that," I exclaim, hurt that he can even think that, and that he's saying it in front of the children. "Tim, why don't y'all go in the other room, let me and your daddy catch up some while I get your dinner sorted?"

"Yes, Ma." He takes Angela's hand again, turns back towards the hallway when Ted straightens up, calls him back and hands him some coins.

"Take the two of 'em with you to the corner store, buy some candy. Then you all play out in the park some until I come fetch you. Understand?"

Curly grins at Angela as she starts to reel off all the things she wants to buy and the games she wants him to play, while Tim just shrugs and goes to follow them out the door.

The tension in the room grows as Ted grabs a hold of Tim's shoulder, turns him back to face him. "I said, do you understand?"

"Yeah, dad, I heard you."

I stand here silently, waiting while they shuffle out, grateful at least that Curly and Angela are oblivious to the uncomfortable atmosphere as they continue to chatter and laugh until finally, after what feels like an eternity, the front door bangs shut behind them and Ted turns back to me. But he doesn't yell or shout or hit me, he just carries on talking in that low, calm sounding tone.

"So, Jean, you were telling me how I got it all wrong?"

"I've been at work." I know I'm speaking too fast, that even though it's the truth it still all sounds like some ridiculous made up excuse; but the way he's staring at me is so unsettling, makes me feel like I'm the one who messed up, not him; that maybe it'd be easier to deal with if he did shout. "Had to do something to get by, can't live on fresh air, can we? Bills still got to be paid. Ain't like we had much saved up to cover all that was it?"

"Working where?" he demands.

"Cleaning houses cross town in the day, and..." I pause, stare down at my feet and fiddle with my wedding ring, twisting it round and round, 'cause I'm pretty sure what else I got to tell him ain't gonna go down well at all.

"And what, Jean?"

"Well," I hesitate, knowing I shouldn't feel bad, not for doing what I needed to do - had to do- to take care of my family, not when he hasn't even been here to look after us. But knowing that don't make me feel any better as I force out the details of my other job to him. "I've been working a couple evenings in a bar as well, the pay there is better than all the cleaning put together, I needed the money, Ted."

Yeah? Never mind the cash, what the hell happens to the children then? You just fuck off out and leave them on their own? Leave an eight year old in charge?"

"Nine," I whisper, "had his birthday last week, he's nine now."

"You trying to make out like I don't know my own kids, Jean?" he demands, grabbing a hold of my arm as he glowers at me.

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean nothing, honest, Ted. And I don't leave them. Carol next door, she comes in and watches them for me." Take a deep breath as I step away and start unpacking the groceries. I know he's real mad, but I might as well tell him the rest, get it over with before I lose my nerve. "I need to fix some food for them now, I'm supposed to be there tonight, six 'til ten."

"No." He snaps back, instantly.

"But—"

"You're seriously considering going out the first night I'm back?"

I shrug at him. "I... Well, it's just I'm supposed to. I agreed to work on a Tuesday and a Thursday evening."

Ted shakes his head at me. "No, I ain't having you disappearing on me when we've got catching up to do." And then he smiles at me, wraps his arms around my waist, kisses me softly, slowly. "Look I know I made some mistakes before, but I've missed you, sweetheart. Had a lot of time for thinking, I'm gonna make it up to you, I promise."

Things might have been easier this past couple of months, no fighting or tension in the house, but his attention and his words make me realise how much I've missed him being around, being close to him. Makes me ignore the feeling that giving in so easily is the wrong choice as I say exactly what I think I ought to just to keep him onside.

"I guess, I suppose I could telephone and say I'm sick or something."

"No, Jean. I'll do it. I won't have you working in some dive, for some bunch of losers to be chatting up. Not now, not ever."

I can feel the tears pricking at my eyes as I still feel the need to justify my decisions, to have him understand. "But I had to do something, Ted, kids needed feeding, wasn't anyone else gonna help me. Can you imagine if I'd had to go to my Ma for help? She'd never let me forget it. So I didn't have no other choice, did I?"

"Yeah? Well I'm back now, so you don't need to worry about any of that no more."

I fold my arms, surprise myself a little when I challenge him on this. "And what if something goes wrong again, or if I like doing something more than being stuck here all the time?"

"Jesus, Jean, I'm home now, got another job lined up already so you don't need to go do that." He runs a hand down the side of my face, kisses me again then sighs. "Look, carry on doing the cleaning job if you like but I want you home at night time, with your family where you belong. And besides, I've been looking forward to seeing you, don't want to be fighting my first night home. Plenty better ways we could be spending our time together ain't there?"

I hug him, rest my head against his shoulder. "Guess I better ring them though, let them know I ain't coming in."

"No, you tell me the number the place and I'll deal with it later. Like I told you when we got married, you don't need to worry about anything 'cause I'll always be here to take care of you."

A/N: Thanks as always to everyone who's been reading and reviewing - I'd love to know what you think of this update :)