Chapter Sixteen: ilomilo.
"I tried not to upset you
Let you rescue me the day I met you
I just wanted to protect you
But now I'll never get to
Hurry, I'm worried
Where did you go?
I should know, but it's cold
And I don't wanna be lonely
Was hoping you'd come home
I don't care if it's a lie"
Saturday, November 9th, 1985
Eleven had been missing school since the day after Halloween, convinced that she needed to be completely isolated and free from all distractions in order for her to get her powers back. She refused to leave her room or speak to anyone aside from Joyce – she knew that if she talked to Will she would end up telling him what she was up to and that simply couldn't happen. Nobody was allowed to know until she could find Hopper and bring him back safely and alive.
The telekinetic was extremely grateful that Mrs. Byers was giving her the space she needed. Eleven was aware of how nosy the woman could be because of her constant worrying for her children. She was also very appreciative that Joyce would bring water and food to her room, even though she barely touched the meals that had been prepared.
Subconsciously, El knew she was being irrational with the whole resenting food thing, but she still refused to eat anything. Not eating would just make her even more tired and weak, only making the side effects of even attempting to use her powers awful. And she was still getting used to the whole period thing… not fun… at all.
And on top of that, Eleven felt absolutely awful for pushing Mike away. It took everything in her not to burst and tell him about the internal battle that she was fighting. About how everything was all her fault and how she would never forgive herself if she wasn't able to fully restore them. There was already so much shit that was unfixable, so she was determined to get whatever she could back to normal. Guilt settled low in her stomach as she thought about how sad Mike had seemed when he knocked on her door to see her, to see if she was okay, but she didn't answer.
El had to do this. She had to prove to herself that she was strong enough to get back her abilities, because without them, El felt like she was nothing. Without them, she was just an uneducated 15 year old that lived in a shabby, unknown town in the middle-of-nowhere, Indiana.
"Focus," El whispered, her eyes fluttering shut. She took advantage of being home alone because Joyce had work, Jonathan was doing God knows what with Nancy and Will was at Dustin's.
The night prior, Dustin begged for the group to help him to teach his cat tricks for reasons still unknown to the rest of the party. Max declined because she was going to teach Lucas how to skateboard and Mike said he couldn't because he had to take care of Holly as his parents and older sister were out for the day. Which left Will, who gladly joined the curly haired boy.
Exhaling, she shakily brought her makeshift blindfold to her eyes and tied it tightly around her head. Static crackled in her ears as she calmed her buzzing nerves. Sorting through memories as if they were records stored away in a complex filing system, El picked out the ones that involved a certain lanky, freckle-faced boy she had the pleasure of calling her boyfriend.
A small figure wandered aimlessly through the wilderness, lost in the sheets of rain pouring down from above. Wet leaves crunched and squished beneath her feet, occasionally stepping on a jagged stick or rock, shooting waves of sharp pain through her. Lightning bolts flashed through the clouded sky, followed by an intense 'BOOM!' of thunder, making the girl wince and cower in fear of the sudden brightness and loudness.
Over the chattering of her teeth, the muffled sound of another person talking fell into her ears. Blood pumped through her veins as she began to panic, fearing that it was Papa or the cruel lady with the weird hair who shot the nice man that gave her food and the soaked yellow t-shirt that she was wearing. She heard two more voices and they seemed like they were growing closer by the second.
Preparing to make a run for it, she inhaled deeply and stepped forward with her right foot, not seeing the twig on the forest floor beforehand. The sudden snap startled her, as well as the figures she could now see. All three of their heads spun in the opposite direction of her, so she went to move once more, only to end up stepping on another branch.
A bright light obscured her vision, and even with her eyes squeezed shut she could feel the three sets of eyes boring into her. She could sense their fear and confusion as they stared at her. Blinking rapidly in order to see again, teardrops dripped off her lengthy lashes as her eyes locked with the boy in the middle.
"Are—are you okay?" He asked, not really sure what to say. Something about this... girl? or boy—Mike wasn't too sure—made him uneasy. Not necessarily in a bad way. As he stared into the frightened orbs of honey gazing back at him, he felt some sort of pull to her. Like he was meant to be the one who found her.
The girl with the buzzcut merely stared at him, taking in his freckled cheeks, his dripping raven hair that curled slightly at the ends, his chocolate irises that appeared black in the stormy atmosphere. She wasn't sure why, but the boy in the center made her feel… warm. He made her feel safe, somehow.
The same boy snapped her out of her troubled state, "Here." He lowered his flashlight and reached his other hand towards her. A small smile formed on his face,"Come with us, we can help you."
"Dude, you're crazy!" The boy with a dark complexion sneered.
"We can't just leave her out here!" She hesitated to take his hand, but the moment her flesh met his, a funny fluttering sensation bubbled in her stomach. Trailing along behind him, she still was very paranoid, but remained silent.
"I don't feel good about this," the boy with curly hair muttered under his breath.
Eventually, the group of four arrived at the Wheeler residence. The tallest boy got the strange girl some dry clothes and set up a blanket fort for her. His two companions left, obviously not on board with his idea.
"Hey, um," he hesitated, "I never asked your name."
Eleven met his eyes before she carefully pulled up her sleeve, revealing her tattoo. The boy sitting in front of her gasped and reached out, "Is that real?"
The timid girl retracted her arm, unsure of what his intentions were. Her petrified state didn't go unnoticed by him, and he felt terribly for scaring her.
"Sorry, I've just never seen a kid with a tattoo before," he paused, "What's it mean? Eleven?" The girl pointed at herself, making the boy furrow his eyebrows in confusion, "That's your name?"
The girl nodded.
"Oh, okay. Well, my name's Mike, short for Michael. Maybe we can call you El, short for Eleven," he offered. She nodded once again, happy with the nickname he had suggested.
"Um, well, okay," Mike stammered, "'Night El."
Eleven smiled softly, looking up at the sweet boy before her, "'Night Mike."
"Wow," Dustin gawked, "She looks—"
"Pretty," Mike gushed, wide-eyed and mouth agape. He realized what he let slip out when he saw the small girl's lips perk up into a smile. "Good," he corrected, "you look pretty good."
"Still pretty?" Eleven asked, turning to face him.
"Yeah," he reassured, hesitating slightly in an attempt to hide the blush creeping across his cheeks, "Pretty, really pretty."
"You look beautiful," Mike smiled widely. El looked down at her feet, her face growing hot.
Usually, El would have been able to find whoever she was trying to reach by now. However, she couldn't locate her boyfriend. Her powers still not restored even after days and days of trying. That didn't stop her, though. She would not give up until she found him.
Why was Eleven not trying to find Hopper when that was the reason she was trying to get her powers back in the first place? It's because El figured that maybe he somehow got stuck in the Upside Down. After all, he was right in front of the gate according to Joyce.
Eleven was obviously able to reach people, or monsters, in the Upside Down. That's how this whole mess began! However, it was much harder for her to find someone trapped in another dimension than it was to find someone in the real world. And since she was trying to use her powers when they hadn't been there in so long, she decided to take smaller steps.
El's head was aching, blood pouring from both of her nostrils and ears. She was getting weaker and weaker with every passing second.
Her body begged her to stop.
Her brain told her to keep going.
She obeyed the latter.
Delving further into her mind, she pulled out as many more memories as she could.
"I'm just trying to demonstrate how careless Max is with Eleven's powers. In fact, how careless all of you are!" Mike ranted, his arms flailing around him to try to make a point, "You're treating her like some kind of machine, when she's not a machine, and I don't want her to die looking for the flayed when they've obviously vanished off the face of the earth. So, can we please just come up with a new plan because I love her and I can't lose her again!"
El ripped off her blindfold, Mike's words ringing in her head. Mike loves me. Micheal Wheeler loves me.
Of course, El loved Mike; she had loved him ever since she met him, though she didn't know it until much later on. He was the first person to take care of her. Well, besides Benny of course.
Mike made her feel like she was high on some drug, all of her troubles melted away with a single touch. She had no idea he felt that strongly for her and after rethinking it, she felt dumb for not realizing it before.
"Eleven," Mike gasped, eagerly walking towards her with tears streaming down his face. He couldn't tell if his mind was playing tricks on him or if she was actually there.
"Mike," she breathed, still not sure that he was really standing in front of him. Her body collided with his, both of them hugging each other for the first time in so, so long. Neither one of them could believe that they were finally together again.
A few moments later, Mike pulled away slightly. "I never gave up on you," he swallowed, trying to avoid letting any more tears fall, "I called you every night...every night for-"
"353 days," she cut him off. The boy's eyes widened in absolute shock. "I heard."
"Why didn't you tell me that you were there? That you were okay?" Mike was obviously hurt that she never responded to his desperate calls but he tried to force the negativity to the back of his mind. Eleven was finally back and that was all he wanted.
"Because I wouldn't let her," Hopper's deep voice cut through the tense quietness.
Eleven's scream broke through the cabin, startling everyone gathered around. She ripped the blindfold covering her eyes off and tried to reach for Mike.
"El are you okay?" Mike panicked as she brought her shaking hand up to his cheek to ensure she wasn't dreaming.
"It's alright, it's alright," he tried to comfort, although he was obviously terrified as well. He held the trembling girl in his arms, wanting to stop her crying. Seeing Eleven cry broke his heart; the poor girl had been through so much. She deserved to be happy for once.
Eleven's eyes shot open, only to find herself surrounded by blackness. She blinked many times to figure out if she was back in the void or if she was imagining it.
A sigh of relief escaped her chapped lips as it dawned on her that she was really there. She almost started crying because of how happy she was but was startled by the sound of Mike's voice.
"El?" He called out. Mike had been in his room, brainstorming ways to get El to talk to him when he suddenly felt as if he was being watched. The only other being in the Wheeler residence at the moment was Holly who was taking a nap in her room, so he grew a bit apprehensive.
He recognized the way it felt; it was just like when El would visit him in the void, when he called her every night when she was gone. Mike could sense that she was there, but he kept thinking, 'But her powers are gone, how could she be able to reach me?'
"El, are you there?" He asked again.
Obviously, she didn't respond, so Mike got up from his bed and grabbed his supercomm. He switched to the channel that he and El used that the other party members didn't.
"If you're out there say something. Please, El," he begged.
"Mike," she choked out into the abyss, "I'm here."
Eleven didn't know if Mike had heard her until she saw a confused smile playing at his mouth, "But...but, how?"
Eleven never got to answer the question. Her head suddenly weighed thousands of pounds, her eyelids being forced shut by sheer exhaustion. Stumbling to keep herself up, she latched onto Mike, mentally begging for him to not fade away immediately.
A chill ran down Mike's spine, feeling as though someone were grasping his arm. The hold was tight, scared, and it only freaked him out more. In his head El's blood-curdling screams resounded clear as day, like she was standing right there in front of him yet was thousands of miles away.
"Mike?" She screamed, her legs failing to keep her standing, "Mike! Help me!"
"El! El, where are you?" He called out, his breathing became rapid as he began to panic even more.
"Save me," she sobbed, her legs giving out from beneath her. Crashing onto her back against the thin film of water, now a deep trench of nothingness, she watched Mike calling out.
The horror on his pretty face as his figure dissipated into smoke, vanishing into blackness will forever be engraved into her already damaged brain.
"I'm coming, El. I'll be right there," he cried, letting the salty tears cascade down his face. "I'll always be there, Eleven."
Unaware of the fact that she was no longer listening, he continued to mutter words of reassurance while haphazardly shoving on a pair of sneakers and grabbing a jacket with his supercomm in hand.
"I promise."