Thirteen
A/N; This started as a crackfic idea. This was supposed to be a little joke, an excuse to write a single scene without an info dump. But what freaked me out after naming this story, is realizing that I've been writing and posting fanfiction for thirteen years.
Thirteen years. Everybody that keeps coming back for more, just… have a big hug. Thank you.
(Also, ffnet wasn't letting me upload anything last night. Sorry for the delay.)
Chapter One: Asking
I'm not asking for the world.
-Megan Marie
xxXxx
Haru was numb.
That was the only way to describe it. There were no thoughts, no feeling… yes, that was for the best if she didn't feel. As long as she couldn't feel anything, she could keep her body moving forward.
It was a day like all the others. No matter the tragedy, the cow needed milked, the chickens need feeding, eggs collected and breakfast started before her father woke up.
Like he'd even notice before taking his plate into his workshop.
Haru stopped spreading chicken feed, and just stared up at the sky as her feathered charges clucked and shoved against each other for their food.
It all should have been so easy. Plain and simple. She had never asked for much, after all.
"… Good morning, Haru."
That voice! Why now?! Why not last summer, when she still had a chance?!
Haru slowly turned her head to acknowledge the one who had finally realized she existed.
Machida was smiling a little nervously from the other side of the fence. "May I come in?" he asked while gesturing at the lock keeping him out. "I have a favor to ask."
Haru stared at him a long moment, regret filling her as easily as she filled a water bucket. Since even looking at him made the numbness start throbbing painfully, the young woman slowly turned her back on him and gave a few more fistfuls of feed to the chickens, who renewed their clucking of appreciation.
"It's nothing big, I promise," he added a little pleadingly. "You don't have to help with a single thing, everyone will understand. I won't even ask you to bring a pie for the feast afterward."
Haru's heart began throbbing as she remembered that set of daydreams. Her and Machida, finally having their turn at the best table brought to the center of the town as everyone toasted them their good wishes as music played from the only musician their humble village had to offer.
To distract herself from the pain that began anew, Haru shouldered the bag of remaining feed and marched into the chicken coop. One hand automatically gathered the ends of her apron for a makeshift basket as her other one explored all the usual corners that the chickens enjoyed hiding their eggs in.
"Haru, I swear if you do this for me, I will never ask anything from you ever again!" Machida bargained, but Haru didn't know why he bothered.
Eight years of living in the same village, and this was the first time he had ever said more than 'hi' to her.
Only retrieving five eggs today, Haru stopped outside the door of the chicken coop, and leaned slightly against the shaky frame while giving him her dead-eye stare. 'Can he really not hear how I'm screaming for him?'
Machida took in a deep breath. "Mother thought… you know how much she's always liked you?" he added with a desperate smile.
Haru shook her head while keeping her gaze on him. 'For all I knew, she didn't think my existence was worth noticing, either!'
"Well… Hiromi passed on that you were going to just stay home tomorrow, even though the invitation was for everybody. Mother thought that because…" He floundered for the right words.
'Because I've been in love with you for the solid eight years since your family moved here?' Haru didn't say it, though. She had always had trouble speaking her mind, sometimes even to her best friend. But she kept her dead gaze on him, secretly enjoying watching the man squirm uncomfortably.
It served him right for ignoring her for seven of those years and then giving a new girl the kind of courtship that Haru had spent her life praying for.
Machida took in a deep breath and tried again. "Well, it's never been a secret, has it? I'm sorry you… felt that way, but my heart belongs to Sakura."
Haru already missed being numb. If he had slammed a dagger into her heart while saying it, she wouldn't have felt a thing. Taking a firmer grip on her apron, she unsteadily began the slightly muddy walk back to her father's little cottage.
"Wait, I haven't finished!" Machida panicked, losing his manners enough to hop over the fence and run after her. "Look what I want is simple. Just show up."
Haru stopped in her tracks, stumbling a bit thanks to her haste to get inside her home and away from him. 'He did not just ask me to go.' She slowly turned to look at him with disbelief, hoping that he had slurred what he really wanted.
Machida just looked thrilled that she was listening to him. "Mother thinks that you think that everyone but you are invited to the wedding. She doesn't want anyone thinking that we don't like you, because we do!"
'Liar.' Haru made sure her expression was readable enough for him to guess what she was thinking.
"No, we really do," he assured her while rubbing his shaggy black hair with one hand out of nerves. "But you know how the elders are once they get their minds set. They made assumptions about who my bride was going to be for years, they don't like being told that I have different ideas-"
'Why are you still talking?!' she inwardly screeched at him. Almost without her own volition, her free hand wandered down to her apron.
"-but no one gets to decide that but me!" Machida asserted with a firm nod of his head. "It will help ease things for Sakura and her aunt when they move in with us. So. Will you do it?"
Her hand was a blur as it slapped the largest egg against his cheek.
The one she once thought would be her husband reeled in shock, backing away while putting one hand on his sticky face.
"You chose her," Haru stated, forcing herself to speak as she got another egg ready. "I owe you nothing. Get out before I start using rocks."
Machida gaped at her, but she couldn't tell if it was because of the slap, or because it was the most she had ever successfully said to him in eight years.
Either way, he got one egg on his shoulder and another one on his hip before he managed to get out of range.
ooOoo
It was afternoon before Haru was disturbed again. The fire was stoked enough to ensure an even bake on her bread, so she was stealing some time to embroider red flowers on one of her father's bags.
That was his trade, as boring as it was. Make bags of all sizes, skins for water or wine, saddlebags for the merchant that liked to exchange goods with the dry goods store in town. The money was decent if he made enough bags, and even better when his daughter would add some decoration to the more feminine ones.
It was supposed to be her last chore to worry about, but Haru wasn't above sneaking it before tasks that no one but her would notice, anyway.
A shadow looming over the half-door to the kitchen was her only warning, but since Haru had grown up with that shadow, she only tied the end of her thread before cutting it with her teeth.
Then she had to take a break to retie her hair into its usual ponytail since the cord holding it was turning loose.
"Eggs, Haru?" Hiromi asked while folding her arms over the half-door to help conceal her enlarged belly.
"He should consider himself lucky I wasn't mucking out Lili's stable when he came," the brunette answered without taking her eyes off her work. "Why did you tell them I wasn't going? I warned you it would only cause problems."
Hiromi sighed sadly. "Machida's mother was giving assignments out for the feast and asked me what your specialty was."
Haru hmphed angrily, setting her work aside to check on the bread. "Sure his mother's fond of me. Look at all the attention she's paid me; she even knows what I bring for every single event for four years straight!"
Hiromi flinched at her friend's bitter tone. "You know they're not bad people, Haru. You did want to join their family, after all."
"But I don't get to," Haru retorted, taking the poker and stabbing it fiercely into the fire. "I get to be an old maid because the only men in this village are taken or too young. Too bad that extra family moved in last year, or the boys and girls would have all been equally matched!"
"Someone could move in again," Hiromi tried to console her, but Haru had already given all too much thought on it.
"Sure, and even if they have someone the right age for me, he can get even more resentful than Machida about being the last one paired up, and I'm not up to standard!"
"You take that back right now!" Hiromi barked, throwing the half-door open and storming into the kitchen.
"Girls. Keep it down out there," came Haru's father's voice from his studio. But since his tone was still level, he wasn't about to come out any time soon.
Hiromi fiercely grabbed Haru and held her tight while avoiding the poker. "You are more than up to standard! Any man would be lucky to have someone as loving or hardworking as you for a wife!"
"Then why didn't Machida want me?" she nearly whispered, setting the poker aside and hugging her best friend like she was never going to let go. "Why?"
Hiromi had no answer to that. But she did hold her friend until the smell of burning bread forced them to part.
Haru rescued the bread and checked the bottom as she eased it onto the breadboard. "Just a little burnt on the bottom," she noted absently. "The chickens never mind the burnt parts."
Hiromi had to force herself to say the next part. "Haru. Machida's mother wasn't amused by the eggs."
"Then maybe she should have made her own request," Haru responded without interest, her attention still on the bread.
"Kamiko's determined that the village show a united front for this marriage," the friend hurried on while wringing her hands. "She wants you there."
"Then she should have convinced Machida I wouldn't have been a bad choice."
Hiromi groaned as she sunk into the chair next to the half-embroidered bag. "I think you're missing my point. Remember the goat incident?"
"She has no authority over me," Haru responded indifferently, deciding that a slice of this with some jam preserves would be all her stomach could handle for now.
"Kamiko's planning on giving you the goat treatment if you don't come willingly."
Haru stopped short to give her friend a look of pure rage. "I am not her goat!"
Hiromi gave her a helpless look. "Do you really think your father will stop her? She's already picked out Masao and Tomoe to keep you in line for the ceremony. They don't like what you did to their best friend."
"Yeah, well, I don't like what their best friend did to me!" Haru responded with outrage. "This is proving none of them care about me! There will be less drama if I stay home, why won't anyone see that? The reason I'm upset is because Machida's wedding day has nothing to do with me!"
"I tried to explain that, Haru," Hiromi swore, watching her friend pace up and down the small kitchen. "But her mind's made up that the event will be meaningless without you. Kamiko thinks you need to show the village that you don't hate Sakura, and there isn't a better way to show everyone."
Large brown eyes rolled at that gentle accusation. "Sakura already knows I don't hate her. I hate the fact that Machida wants her instead of me." 'I wonder if his mother secretly hates me and is doing this on purpose.' Haru desperately tried to think of another good reason to tell her friend to tell everyone else why they needed to back off and let her grief run its course.
Much to her surprise… nothing came.
Haru put on a bit of a show for Hiromi of huffing angrily. Not too much, since they had known each other since they were babies. "I'll sit in the back row, and I won't stay for the feast. Tell her to take it or leave it."
Hiromi breathed a huge sigh of relief. "She'll take it," she assured, hugging her friend one more time before bouncing out the half door. "I'll come get you a little after dawn, and don't forget to wear your nice dress!"
"Sure," Haru muttered without enthusiasm, leaning out the half-door to watch her best friend skip merrily down the path back to the village.
All too easy.
She'd apologize later, of course. But if Machida's mother was stubborn enough to halt the wedding day until locating Haru, that would at least show all the town folk where her real priorities were.
But until then, it really was selfish of Kamiko to expect Haru to sit through a wedding ceremony and pretend to give her blessing to the happy couple. Especially when there was bound to be at least one elder that would whisper 'that should have been you'.
Not even for Machida would she put herself through that.
There wasn't much she could do about her plan until evening fell. Instead of the usual bowl of stew for her father's supper, she prepared his favorite lunch of a thick sandwich with her special bread and Hiromi's family cheese. Although Haru was privately a little worried about how she had her apron balled up while holding the plate, she did know better.
Her father wouldn't notice a thing.
A firm knock on the studio door before entering.
It was the same as any other year. Her father slouched on his favorite chair, working feverishly on the perfect edging of a satchel. His desk was littered with scraps of leather and good solid canvas, and his tired eyes didn't so much as blink at her intrusion. He worked by the light of a single candle, since he loved to reason that candlelight provided a more constant glow than a fireplace.
While deliberately placing herself between him and the table, Haru silently placed the two extra candles hidden in her apron by the burning one to alter his sense of time.
"Don't be late for dinner again," Haru told him in a neutral tone, making him grunt in acknowledgment before sewing a buckle onto the strap.
There. That must have bought her a good five hours more before he'd even go to bed, much less wonder about his only child.
Ha. What a joke.
Haru sighed sadly as she doused all the lights other than her father's workshop, just in case Machida's mother had thought to send a watcher. Her father was a mere shadow of the man he had been before her mother's fever got the better of her. She tried not to hold it against him, but after finding out about Machida's engagement, it would have been nice if her father had at least been willing to offer the boy some violence. He didn't even have to go through with anything; just getting angry that she got hurt would have helped a lot.
With a heavy heart, Haru let one window fall open seemingly on its own and used the light of the full moon to find her own satchel.
It normally didn't see use other than helping her to carry purchases when she and her father needed to trade, but tonight it had a different purpose. Haru folded three of her works in progress as tightly as she could into a fourth one before stuffing it in as well as her supply of colored threads and needles along with her little dagger just in case. She wrapped her warmest shawl around her shoulders and headed back to the kitchen.
Thanks to the minor trick she had pulled on her father, Haru didn't have to sneak around to put some of her fresh bread, a bit of Hiromi's cheese, and a waterskin into her satchel as well before adjusting her dagger to where she could reach it in a hurry, although she doubted she'd need it. Haru straightened up, looked around, and discreetly checked the path that led to the village.
Only one light was just visible, and it was in the wrong direction of either the bride or the groom's house. Once that was out, she'd be on her way.
Haru scowled at some of her earlier memories of waiting for Machida's light to go out. Since she hadn't gained the courage to speak even a sentence to him until today, she had told herself every night that his light going out was Machida's way of telling her goodnight.
She really was pathetic. Her lips tried to smile as that final light finally dimmed to nothingness, but they weren't ready to bend in such a direction yet.
It was only after letting herself out of her cottage that she bothered with stealth. Nothing ever seemed as loud as it did at night.
Haru's plan was simple. All she had to do was retreat from the village far enough that no one would find her and let them have their precious wedding while she worked on her embroidery. It didn't earn her much money since her father needed most of it to keep their home afloat, but Haru had faithfully saved every coin she could.
She didn't know how much homes cost, but she liked to think that it would have at least been enough for a small cottage for her and Machida when that special time came if he was interested in living away from his parents so they could be alone.
Her heart broke once again, making her adjust her hold on her satchel as she deliberately avoided the usual paths in the woods around the town.
Masao was a woodcutter, he'd have no trouble finding her if she stayed in a two-mile circle around the town. But that was fine by her; if she kept walking at this pace, she should be out of that area by the dawn.
For a second, the moonlight flickered, making Haru look up in surprise shortly before entering the trees.
It must have been her imagination. It was a perfectly clear night on top of a full moon one, and she could see for herself that there was nothing around.
Haru shook her head at herself and headed deeper into the woods. "What am I worried about? There aren't even any wolves around here."
Then realizing that a watcher would have heard that, she clamped her mouth shut and moved deeper into the woods while trying to avoid dry branches.
It was definitely getting harder, now. The thick foliage from the trees was making it difficult for her to see where she's going. Constantly getting tripped by tree roots wasn't that fun, either.
"Oh, fine," she griped, now that she was approaching the meadow beyond the village. It was a favorite grazing spot for the goatherds. It was nothing but rolling grass and small hills for almost a mile, which would mean that she'd be out in the open, but at least she'd be able to see where she was going.
Haru breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the meadow through the trees, almost spraining her ankle again in her eagerness to leave the darkness behind. The moonlight hit her like the sun once she was free from the trees, making her stand there for a second to take in its beauty.
This was a perfect night for such a walk. Too bad she didn't have anyone to share it with.
Haru sighed sadly at the thought but adjusted her satchel strap over her shoulder and began walking again. 'Hiromi would already be begging for us to turn around and go back by now, especially since the baby's been making her extra cautious. I doubt she's ever seen the other side of this meadow.' Haru brightened as she realized that she was already approaching the borders of lands she's walked in her entire life. Just for the fun of it, she started running.
The moon's light suddenly left her, though she could see it far ahead. Confused, she stopped running to see what was blocking her from the moon's gentle embrace.
Everyone knew the significance of that terrible roar coupled with a woman's scream, which was loud enough to wake up enough of the town to realize what had just happened. Even if they had never heard it before, there was simply no mistaking that unearthly shriek as coming from an ordinary animal.
Lord Maliss has found another bride.