2002

Erin huffed agitatedly, jostling with the empty shopping trolley that she had commandeered from James mid-argument in Tesco before making a beeline for the car park.

"Y'know what I really want to know, eh?"

Flustered, Erin blew a stray lock of blonde hair clean out of her face, abandoning the trolley and all pretences of a peaceful morning out.

James rolled his eyes, knowing full well that she was seconds from completely exploding even if he still hadn't the foggiest idea what was going on inside her head.

"I don't know, Erin!", he snapped, cheeks flushed from the embarrassment of her storming out of the supermarket. "I'm hardly Professor X..."

Erin blinked hastily in response, watching through narrowed incredulous eyes as James climbed into the driver's seat of her car.

"Who?"

"The mind reader from—"

Clucking her tongue impatiently to cut him off, Erin observed James coolly.

A whole week had gone by since graduation...a week where her so-called fiancé hadn't so much as suspected the whirling cocktail of emotions whizzing about inside Erin's head.

She was pissed. Hurt. Confused. Mortified. Guilty. But mostly just pissed...

Not that Erin had actually voiced any of her feelings aloud. Yet.

"For Feck's Sake!", she grumbled, not in the mood for film references. "Scooch over, I'm drivin'!"

Unblinkingly, James watched her.

Like so many times before, he found himself completely frozen as Erin circled him. She was snarling, shining and bursting with scarcely suppressed energy...almost like a wild animal. He couldn't look away from her. Not even if he'd wanted to. She was like an electron whizzing around the proton anchored before her. Him.

"Are you sure that's a good idea—", James began to ask, only falling silent when Erin's scoffed in her usual bumbling brand of outrage.

"Alright!", James spat, matching her mood. "Fine then! But forgive me for not being delighted at the prospect getting in the car with someone who just had a very public meltdown in the frozen food aisle!"

Erin flopped into the car beside James, aggressively yanking the seat into a more suitable position as he cautiously reached for his seat belt.

"Public, eh?", she snorted, her voice quiet-disappointed even. "Bit rich..."

James frowned, genuinely baffled.

"Excuse me?"

Biting her lip, Erin whirled around to face him. "Y'know yeh can't just go springin' a whole feckin' marriage proposal on someone and expect them to be totally grand! Cos I'm not grand! Not one bit! Not even the slightest bit—"

"Erin—", James interrupted before being squarely silenced once again.

"No warnin'! No conversation! Down on one knee, you were! Right in front of everyone!"

He eyed her with a vague sort of amusement. Probably not the best course of action given the situation...

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that how wedding proposals usually work? A grand gesture? A big surprise?"

"The big surprise of a lifelong commitment? Are you mental?"

Erin snorted humourlessly.

"God for-feckin'-bid a woman not want to be cornered in front of everyone she knows! Half of Derry starin' at her like she's some sort of zoo animal! I didn't even have to answer and you lot were already crackin' open the champagne! Well, feminism's taken one hell of a long walk off a short cliff now, hasn't it eh? Very feckin' romantic..."

James raised an eyebrow in surprise. As accustomed as he had become to Erin's dramatic outbursts, he looked genuinely taken aback...hurt even.

"I didn't mean to-"

Watching him and seeing the same steadying earnestness shine in his eyes that had always been there, Erin deflated slightly.

Her mind returned to the night of the engagement party. Michelle's ginormous bottle of champagne, Orla's unquestionably Orla dance moves and Clare's absence. Jesus Christ, she really really needed to talk to Clare.

Feeling as though she was on autopilot, Erin took James's hand in her own.

She barely resisted the urge to unceremoniously splurge every thought that had leaped into her head over the part number of days.

Erin sighed. "I know you didn't mean to. It's just I—."

Her voice cracked slightly, trailing off. For the first time, Erin felt the plates of their relationship shift...like the earth had just moved and the cracks that had been forming over time had widened

James swallowed.

"We love each other, don't we?", he asked quietly, feeling a little bit like the sixteen year old kid his mother had left behind in Derry all those years ago. "Surely, that's enough..."

"Love's not the issue", Erin huffed, fixing him with a serious look. "It never was with us! "

James wanted to settle. He wanted to chase the reliability he hadn't truly had growing up.

Erin wanted to fly. After twenty-two years, she was itching for a new life after so long feeling suffocated by the familiarity of her hometown.

But those were the kinds of sentiments thar were difficult to put into words. Even for her. Especially for her.

"This is a right mess", Erin told him, deciding (at least for that moment) not to try.

...

Dom Pérignon, you brought it
No crowd of friends applauded
Your hometown skeptics called it
Champagne problems

You had a speech, you're speechless
Love slipped beyond your reaches
And I couldn't give a reason
Champagne problems

~Taylor Swift, Champagne Problems.

...