THC

House: Ravenclaw

Class: Head of House

Category: Standard

Prompt(s) chosen: Category one: Golden era, Category two: [Pairing] Mother/daughter,

Word count: 1338

Notes: Abuse and internalized homophobia

Love doesn't bloom in rotten soil

"What do you mean you're canceling the arrangement?"

Even from the other side of Malfoy Manor, Pansy heard her mother's voice. It cut through the walls and her hands shook at the implications of the sentence. For years, she dreamed about being free and now she might have her chance.

"You managed to pull it off?" Pansy whispered to Draco, "We're not getting married?"

"Don't think I did this for you," Despite his attitude Pansy knew he did do it for her. Maybe, a little for himself too but she had been the one to dislike their arranged marriage the most. Draco probably would have gone along with it as his parents had for their arranged marriage. He wasn't one to think about love.

Pansy didn't care about love either. She had an absence of it her entire life and she had no need for it now, but she didn't want to live the rest of her life denying her true self. She didn't need someone else to love her—she just wanted to love herself. The first step of that had been admitting to herself that she didn't like guys. She had spent the last couple of years pretending with Draco that she was in love with him. It got to the point where it caused her to break down. She couldn't handle the constant lies she told herself.

Draco had found her on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest, crying, and scared for what might happen when her family found out. That had been a few months ago, and the start of their final year at Hogwarts approached.

"How'd you convince your parents?" Pansy asked.

Draco shut the book he had been reading and rolled his eyes, "I told them I had more important things to worry about. That after the war we could decide things but it's silly to have this arrangement when no one knows what will happen. They agreed and here we are. I suspect you'll be leaving shortly since I can hear the clicking of your mother's heels."

The door opened suddenly, and Viola Parkinson stood in the doorway, "Come."

Her mother's tone was cold, anything nice about it had decayed decades ago, and it left Pansy with no other choice but to follow her mother. Silence covered them as they left Malfoy Manor and it followed them back to their own house. Pansy only spoke when she was spoken to. She had learned that rule years ago and she had only broken it once, before she learned never to do it again.

She watched as her parents handed their things off to the house elves to be put away. Pansy shrugged her own coat off but kept it in her arms as the house-elves scurried away. Her mother whispered something to her father before he walked down the hallway after the house-elves. Most likely to his study where he wouldn't have to pretend to like either his wife or daughter.

"What did you do?" Viola sneered at Pansy.

"Nothing," At school Pansy pretended to be mean, intimidating, and someone that wouldn't be pushed around. That Pansy didn't exist within these walls. Her voice trembled as her mother walked towards her. It caused Pansy to back into the wall behind her until she was trapped with nowhere to run. Her mother's cruel eyes stared at her as if she could sense the lie in Pansy's voice. Not that it would surprise Pansy since she couldn't lie at home.

"I know this is your fault," Her mother grabbed at Pansy's hair and dragged her up the stairs. Despite the pain, Pansy didn't make a sound, she knew that would only make it worse. "Draco wouldn't have said anything if you hadn't manipulated him to do it."

"I didn't manipulate him," Another mistake on Pansy's part, one that she couldn't take back or hide, the words had already made their way into the open.

"You were supposed to marry him and finally be a use to this family," Viola opened one of the many doors in their house, but it was a door that Pansy despised. With a shove from her mother, Pansy stumbled into the room. It was dark and bare. "Stay."

Her mother shut the door as she left. The darkness enveloped Pansy as she sat down on the cold floor. Thankfully, she hadn't let go of her coat and she used to stimulate some warmth. She knew better than to let her eyes close, but it was difficult. Exhaustion pulled at her, and she wanted nothing more than to be rid of all of this. It had been silly of her to think that she would be free from it because Draco called off their marriage. In fact, it seemed that she had made it all worse. If only she had been normal like her parents wanted. That she could shut everything off and marry a man and give her parents grandchildren. Pansy knew she wouldn't be able to do that. The thought of it made her feel sick as she tried to pretend like she was the perfect daughter.

She hoped the Parkinson name would die with her. Maybe, once she graduated, she could run away and live in the Muggle world. Her parents wouldn't know where to look for her if she did that and changed her name. It's not like she had actual friends who cared about her. They all liked the pretend Pansy because no one knew the true Pansy, not even Draco had been privy to that much of her.

"Miss," The door creaked open. Pansy looked up to see one of the house-elves. "The Mistress wishes to see you."

Pansy stood from the floor, coat still clutched to her body, as she went to follow the house-elf. They walked down a familiar hallway and ended up outside of Pansy's room. Her belongings were strewn everywhere as her mother pointed her wand around the room. Clothes flew out of her closet, jewelry smashed against the walls, her school trunk had scorch marks across it, and yet Pansy couldn't seem to care. She watched as her world broke down around her and she couldn't find a single thing in the room to care about. None of it was hers, it all belonged to the Pansy that her mother wanted her to be. It felt, liberating, to see it all being destroyed.

"Why couldn't you have listened and just follow the rules we laid out for you?" Her mother looked truly wicked as she stood amid her ruined fantasy.

"Why couldn't you have been a mother?" Pansy asked as she stepped further into the room. As she challenged her mother, no, the woman who gave birth to her. Pansy didn't have a mother; by all definitions of the word, Viola Parkinson was not a mother. "All I needed were parents who loved me, not ones who controlled me."

"We didn't have you to love you," Viola scoffed, "We had you because we had hoped you'd be a boy. So, you could carry on the family legacy."

"It's not even yours!" Pansy shouted, "You married into this family. You're a daughter like me who was forced to do this by your own parents. Instead of breaking this stupid cycle, you just carried on with it. I'm not a boy and I'm not carrying on the family legacy. In fact, I don't even like men. That's why I had Draco cancel the arrangement because I don't want to be with men."

"Get out," Her mother picked up a shoe and threw it at Pansy. She ducked before it could hit her, and she ran down the stairs.

Pansy pulled her coat on and got her wand out of the stupid box her parents made her keep it in. Her 17th birthday had just passed, and her parents had deemed her unworthy of being able to do magic freely. Now, it didn't matter what they thought. They no longer controlled her.