Ch 15: Comfort Kisses
~Beast's POV
The past weeks had been grueling.
But there was little help for it, with everyone's change much work had to be done.
Though most were simply happy to be human again, many felt it was time to leave the castle. They had given it more than fifty years and were more than ready to move on.
He understood better than anyone and made sure anyone who wished to leave was well equipped with the money and provisions to do so.
Not a soul who left could say he hadn't done right by them.
The rest who chose to stay needed homes to live in. Though the castle had many rooms, and some had taken residence in them, he felt the others deserved a place of their own.
Right away he set to building cottages either on castle grounds or on nearby lands. No time was wasted, nor expense spared to get houses ready.
Woodworkers from neighboring villages were brought in to assist. As well as bakers, maids, and all manner of other staff that were needed to run the estate.
Dedicated to preparing the castle and staff to best meet everyone's needs, he helped all equally. No task was too menial
His staff who had known him well and seen him change over the years were ever more endeared to him. And newcomers were quick to praise him as well.
But in the ensuing chaos, he'd had little time to himself, much less to spend with Belle and each moment away from her was weighing on him heavily.
He'd watched as she'd grown more and more reserved each day. At first he thought it was the work. They had all been busy and he imagined she was overtired.
But as time went on, he saw how she retreated from others. How she pulled back from speaking, avoiding others almost completely. And he wasn't oblivious as to why.
He saw the looks. Overheard some of the talk.
He made it clear to whomever he spoke with that judgment of others was not tolerated. Yet the light in her eyes died a little more every day.
She was pulling away, not just from the others, but from him too. He'd tried to spend time with her, to show her his love, but there never seemed to be enough time.
The few moments he was able to spend with her, she just seemed off. The smile was there, and the love in her eyes was real, but it felt as though she was holding back. Not saying something that was obviously bothering her. And when he pressed, she shook her head, claimed fatigue, and promptly shut herself in her room.
He'd barely seen her these past weeks, and no matter how much he wanted to be close to her, she was placing distance between them.
It was maddening.
But not today, he vowed.
It was early still, and he promised himself he would see to her, no excuses. She would not push him away tonight.
He hurried to his room, knowing the sooner he was clean and changed, the sooner he could see Belle.
Despite his hurry, he stopped dead in his tracks as he entered his chambers.
A sort of ageless woman was standing before him. She was dressed simply in a silver-white gown that complemented her beautifully.
But he was not fooled by the innocent appearance.
"You." His voice was hard as he looked upon the face of the woman who betrayed him. She looked the same as the day she'd cursed him.
"Out witch," he gritted between his teeth, pointing towards the door.
She only smiled softly in return.
"How are you Ambrose?" She ignored his hostile words.
Hearing his given name upon her lips felt like a slap to his face.
He'd only recently come to terms with the change, knowing it would not do well to have people refer to him as Beast.
Still, his name on her tongue made him angrier. He couldn't deal with this. Not right now.
He tried to move past, ignoring her, hoping by some miracle she would leave him.
"I know you are furious with me, and you have no reason to believe it, but I am not here to cause harm."
He whirled around.
"I haven't so much as heard a peep from you since the day you cursed me. And now, when I am suddenly human again, you show up to say that you aren't here to cause harm!"
His blue eyes iced over with hatred.
Enchantress stood stoically, letting him speak.
"Yes, I have quite wronged you. I expect it will take some time for you to move past your anger."
Ambrose's nostrils flared.
"Try eternity." He bit out.
"That would be fair." She agreed.
Confused and angry at her presence, he wasn't sure how to proceed.
"I will leave if you truly desire it." She commented, and for some reason he believed her.
But why was she here?
"Why did you come? Not I assume just to let me yell at you?" He was still angry. But his window of opportunity to see Belle was getting narrower by the minute. He wanted to resolve this hastily.
"I came to apologize. It is of course, far too little and late. Yet you deserve it. I am sorry. Deeply sorry for the life you've led."
Such genuine pain was behind her eyes that Ambrose could hardly believe it. But it seemed too real to be a lie.
"You came to see me nearly fifty years later to apologize?" He repeated, dumbfounded.
She nodded.
"I did."
Were there words for how he felt?
Confused.
Pissed.
Those were some.
"Why?" he couldn't wrap his head around it.
A small secretive smile bloomed on her face.
"It is I suppose hard to believe the person who cursed you never wanted such a fate. I regret giving you the rose. And I regret the challenge I ensued upon your father. Suffice to say, I thought better of him than I should have."
This both bewildered and hurt Ambrose to his core.
He didn't even know what to say. The words left him feeling choked.
"I was wrong. I have never regretted a decision more. You deserved to know this, though you likely will never find yourself able to forgive my actions."
He swallowed deeply. He wanted to hate her. Yet even now he remembered.
How she was that day in the woods.
She cared for him. Wanted to know more about him. Made him feel important.
And even when he'd been cursed, she'd never gone after him. Only his father.
Still, it was hard to let go of so much hurt.
"If you didn't want to hurt me, why did you not take it back?" His voice was hoarse as he spoke.
Her eyes watched him, regret filling them completely.
"There is a limit to which even I can manipulate the energy or lives of others if you will. Once a spell has been cast, I cannot undo it. I can only modify it in minor ways." She explained solemnly.
This did nothing to assuage his anger.
"So you cursed me, knowing you could never undo it?" He gritted out, trying to restrain himself.
To her credit she did look remorseful.
"It is a complicated matter. Enchanted people can only interfere in the lives of others to a certain degree, for good or bad. Therefore, a person can only be enchanted once in their lifetime. However, a spell can be broken by genuine selflessness and love."
Ambrose felt his heart throb heavily.
"My father?" He asked, knowing she understood the question.
She nodded.
"He was never in any danger of being turned. He simply had to be willing to take your place."
His throat burned as he held back the wave of emotion that threatened to burst forth.
Nearly every night he'd wondered how to break the curse.
And since it was broken, he'd wondered what had caused the change.
It was Belle.
Her selflessness that night. As she'd hugged him tightly, telling him she'd take on his pain if she could.
She was the reason it was lifted.
Her love. Her selflessness.
He felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him.
God how he loved her.
"I see you have much on your mind; I will take my leave. I did not wish to cause further pain. Only to see that you were happy."
He stood there stupidly, unable to speak.
She hesitated slightly, before she spoke again.
"Be good to her, she needs you."
Ambrose felt his brows raise, but before he could say anything, she was gone.
What did she mean?
Fear struck his heart.
He she seen Belle?
Forgetting his plan to bathe or change, he ran as fast as he could to Belle's chambers.
He did not even knock, but barged inside, frantic to find her.
Relief made him weak as found her only staring at him startled from her seat at the window.
He closed the distance between them rapidly and drug her up for an intense kiss.
"Wha-?" She murmured confused as his lips pressed to hers.
They hadn't kissed since his transformation, he'd been hoping to woo her when the time was right. But right now he just needed to let her know how he felt.
Her lips were sin.
Soft, luscious, and with the light scent of fresh baked bread. Her mouth opened, he was sure more from being startled than from passion, but he took the opportunity to explore it.
His tongue delved in, tasting her. He couldn't get enough.
His hands gripped her tightly everywhere they roved; and they roved everywhere. He was nearly lost in his senses from the feel and taste of her.
Belle pulled back roughly, freeing her lips from his.
"Stop." She said nothing else, but he froze in place. His eyes found hers. There was no desire there, only sadness.
Cursing, he released her and took a step back.
His jaw ticked as she wrapped her arms around herself, obviously feeling uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry Belle. I shouldn't have done that."
Her throat constricted and she said nothing but watched him with careful eyes. Eyes that now held more fear than they ever had when he was a beast.
He dragged a hand through his hair in frustration and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Are you okay?" She asked after a long moment of silence.
His eyes opened to find her watching him with a concerned expression.
"I basically attack you, and you worry if I'm okay?" His voice was hoarse with emotion.
"Because, you wouldn't normally do that." Trust was there, even if it wasn't deserved.
He nodded, and walked over to the window seat, gesturing for her to sit down.
He was happy when she did.
"I am sorry." He looked into her eyes and though he didn't like how hesitant they were, he accepted she didn't understand what was going on.
"I know you are."
He swallowed, trying to calm is nerves.
"Enchantress was here. It-it upset me." He explained.
Just like that her eyes changed.
They softened, and her arms reached out to embrace him.
He rested his face in the crook of her neck, needing this.
"I didn't mean to get so worked up. She said something, and I thought she might have hurt you. And I panicked."
Belle's arms hugged him tightly.
"She didn't hurt me." She spoke softly, gently rubbing his back.
"Do you have any idea what you mean to me?"
He sat back so he could look at her. Tears started forming.
"I really don't know what I would do without you Belle."
She stroked his cheek gently.
"I know things have been hard recently. I'm not blind to it."
She winced and tired to pull back, but he grasped her hand in his.
"I wish you would stop pulling away from me. Please Belle. Talk to me?"
He hadn't felt this desperate since the day he was changed.
"What do you want me to say?" Her words were strained with emotion.
"What you're feeling. What you're thinking." He pressed gently.
She took a deep breath, pulling back a little more. And because he knew she needed the space, he let her have it.
"I just- I don't belong here."
The words sliced through him deeply.
"You have the opportunity for this beautiful life. One where you can really enjoy everything the world has to offer again."
Her eyes darted back and forth between his. Looking frantic and sad.
"But me? I'm never going to be normal. I can't be the person you need." Her voice broke and tears slid down his face.
"Belle, you are everything to me. I don't want normal. You are everything I need."
But she was shaking her head.
"How can I be? People look at me and they disapprove. And it was fine when it was just us and there was no one to judge, but you have all these people looking up to you now. Think about the example you're setting with someone like me. A gardener that doesn't know if their a boy or a girl. What kind of person is that?"
Every word ate into his heart.
That she thought so little of herself.
"The example you set is one of love and acceptance," he countered. "The person you are is kind, and loving, and far more forgiving than anyone deserves. That's the person I want to be with."
"But you don't know!" she cried out.
Ambrose gently captured her arms, making her look at him.
"What don't I know?"
Tears spilled over.
"What they'll do if they find out."
He should have known this is where her feelings were coming from. And as much as he didn't want to hear it, he needed to know what had happened to her.
"What did they do to you?" his words were soft, caring.
She sobbed and gasped.
It took a moment for her to find enough composure to speak.
"They drug me out of the house by my hair. Through the streets for everyone to see."
His stomached clenched already horrified at where this was going.
"They stripped me down. Caged me. Put me on display. Cut my hair. Whipped me." Her jaw clenched. "Then they talked about cu-cutting me, to make me normal. Cutting me-my," she was shaking so hard she couldn't finish.
Nor did he want her to.
He understood now why she was so upset. Why she felt the way she did. And it broke every bit of his hear to pieces hearing her sob out what they had done.
"The bookkeeper. He stopped them. He was my only friend." She looked at him so desperately. "They would have happily hacked me to pieces because I was born this way."
Not knowing what else to say, he simply pulled her to him.
She sobbed against his shoulder for a while, letting go of all the fear and hurt.
When her cries subsided, Ambrose pulled back to look at her.
"I will never let anyone hurt you ever again." He promised.
"But-" he allowed himself to kiss her lips only stop her words. Startled she stopped and he pulled back.
"No buts. No one will ever lay a finger on you." He could feel the intensity with which he was looking at her. Hoped she could see the truth of his words.
"I know you won't. But you rely on the same people that would hurt me. They are your villagers. The castle and everyone in it, relies on them. And if you stand by me, do you think they won't turn on you too?"
It was a good question. One he wasn't entirely sure he knew the answer to. What he did know, was that he would sacrifice everything to keep her safe and happy.
"I don't have all the answers. But this is something we can tackle together."
Belle didn't say anything for a long moment, but when she looked up Ambrose knew there was something on her mind.
"What?"
She hesitated slightly.
"If- if you could choose, which way would you want me?"
It hurt him to hear her ask such a thing.
"I love you the way you are."
She nodded.
"But if you could choose. If I could be just a woman or man."
He didn't like this.
The way she talked, as if she could actually change it.
Then it dawned on him, she had seen Enchantress.
"Whatever she offered you, don't do it," he told her almost frantically.
Her eyes widened and a look of guilt crossed her face.
"You already did?" His heart thundered, but she was shaking her head.
"No. She said she could make me normal. I was just thinking, if I had that option, wouldn't that be better?"
"NO." He nearly thundered. Looking at her startled face he attempted to calm himself before he spoke again. "You are enough as you are. I don't want you to change."
He wished she could see how perfect she was.
"This isn't about that. It's about the reality that as I am, I can't give you the things you deserve. I'd have to live a life of constantly worrying of being found out. Of you defending me all the time. I- I can't even give you children. Doesn't any of that matter to you?"
He didn't like it.
"And what about your feelings? You want to get rid of part of who you are on the off-chance that someone might say something? Would you be happy to live your life constrained to one role or another?" He shot back.
"I don't know!" she shouted, obviously confused and uncertain. "I didn't give her an answer because I didn't know. But this, between us, don't deny that it wouldn't be easier if I was normal."
"No relationship is easy. And before I was turned back human none of this mattered, why does it now?"
"Because we didn't have to deal with the outside world! It was safe here with just you. Because it didn't matter if I was different, because you were different too. But that's not the case anymore. Look at you. And look at me."
Though he had to admit he understood some of where she was coming from, he was hurt by her derogatory view.
"Do you think I love you less because I'm 'normal' now? Did you think I only loved you because you were the best I could do given the circumstances?" he genuinely needed to know.
She wiped angrily at the tears on her cheeks before she answered.
"I think I was the only person you had an opportunity to grow to love, but now, you can do better."
He was stunned.
"I can do better?" he repeated dumbly. "You think I can do better than the person who saw past my monstrosity, even after I hurt them? You think I can do better than the person who helped me learn to trust again? Better than the person who made it a point to make everyone in their lives happier? Better than the person who was willing to take a curse for me, so I wouldn't have to be in pain anymore? Is that what you really believe?"
Tears fell down both their cheeks as they started at one another.
"Because if you leave me Belle, make no mistake, there is no other. You are the only one I want. No amount of time or distance, or whatever crazy idea you have in your head is going to change that."
His words were angry, but honest. He hated how little she trusted him. As if his feelings could just disappear because he lost some fur.
"You make it seem like it's not a sacrifice to be with me."
"Because you are making assumptions about what I would have to sacrifice! And even if they were all true, it would be worth it because I'd be with you. Tell me Belle, if it was the other way around and I was still a beast and you a plain ole woman, would you run out on me? Would you feel you could do better because hey you have other options? Because life would be simpler?"
She gritted her teeth.
"Can you say if I was a beast transformed back into a man, and you were an in-between gender reject that you wouldn't feel like you were holding me back?" She countered.
He gritted his teeth.
Then after a moment of tense silence, he laughed.
Belle's eyes widened in total confusion.
Every one of his features softened as he looked upon her, and she had no idea what had changed.
"So, we're both martyrs." He concluded, a stupid grin on his face.
"I don't understand." She told him honestly.
As slowly and gently as he could, he moved towards her, taking her face in his hands.
"I'm laughing because it occurred to me that what we're arguing about, is loving each other so much that we want each other to be happy."
It was kind of nonsensical when he put it that way.
"Look me in the eye and tell me right now, that you would truly be happy if I was with someone else. That you could go on and live a happy and full life without me. Tell me that and I'll let you leave, no other questions asked."
More tears pooled in her eyes.
"You know I can't."
He nodded, smiling.
"Exactly. And I couldn't do the same without you."
Finally, he saw a bit of reason and understanding come into her eyes.
"I just want you to be happy." She whispered.
"I am when I'm with you." He whispered back.
And she nodded, accepting him and his words.
This time, when his lips descended, love and comfort poured out. They needed each other. Clinging to the promise to love and cherish one another despite the bad. They would hold on to each other for support and weather any adversity as it came their way.
AN: Another update! I'm trying to be good I hope you liked this chapter, let me know what you think about Belle and Ambrose. Lots of emotions right now! And I wonder if Belle plans to have a chat with Enchantress?!
I went for a different name for Beast since technically Disney never named him, and I just don't think the name Adam fits the character. And like rose is in Ambrose name...sooooo I thought it was better haha. Idk, maybe y'all feel differently.
Thanks for all the reviews! Love hearing from my readers!