Christmas Eve approaches far too quickly for Perry's taste.
Hei- no, Dr. Doofenshmirtz- hasn't schemed in the past few days, making it easy for Perry to visit his family more and avoid the little cafe a few blocks down the road.
He wrote that report up for Major Monogram, leaving it on his desk that night, conveniently leaving out the fact that he fell in love with his nemesis.
Nobody needs to know that. It'd be best if he could forget about it, too.
It just doesn't help that Heinz is the least forgettable man Perry has ever met- and remember, he got stabbed by an ex boyfriend.
Snowflakes spin lazily about outside his apartment window, and he sighs as he finally gets up.
It's been nice to be able to sleep in for the first time since his college days ("sleeping in" meaning "past eight thirty"), but it feels wrong. He should be getting up earlier than this to thwart his nemesis, be assigned a mission, run around putting out both literal and figurative fires.
Perry opens his email as he drinks his morning tea. Not nearly as good as- he shakes his head. It's time to stop that line of thinking.
And it looks like he's going to get that chance very soon, since the newest message in his inbox has the subject line of "URGENT: Breach repaired".
Enclosed is a notice that OWCA's systems have been repaired and strengthened, along with re-relocation paperwork to go back to Sydney and an airplane ticket with a departure date of December 31st.
Flying home- or back to Sydney, at least- on New Year's Eve, away from everything he screwed up in Danville. This email couldn't have come at a better time.
He grins, even as his watch beeps with a summons to Danville's headquarters.
There, Major Monogram tells him that Heinz is going to be attending…his niece and nephew's Christmas Eve party? Oh god no.
He's accepting the assignment to stop Doofenshmirtz from committing evil even before the Major has finished speaking. Forget their tenuous relationship, he's going to protect his niece and nephews.
So at about five PM, Perry sets down his re-returning paperwork (all it needs is his signature, and he can do that anytime) and heads out towards 2308 Maple Drive.
When he arrives, Heinz and his daughter are heading into the Flynn-Fletcher house. Snow still falls gently, starting to build up just a little bit on the roofs of houses around them.
Walking in the front door, Perry can already see that the party is getting started. They boys' friends, Isabella, Baljeet, and Buford, are all there, as is Candace's friend Stacy. Fireside girls run every which way, hanging extra decorations wherever there's room. (There isn't any room, so there's tinsel propped up on top of a Nativity scene, which is sitting on top of a "Joy to the World" sign.)
Perry doesn't exactly know where to stand or what to do, so he settles for awkwardly standing in the kitchen with Heinz, who is alternating between rushing about making hot chocolate, and standing and wringing his hand.
Neither of them speak or sign to each other, although they both shoot glances towards the other on occasion.
Should he apologize? Or pretend nothing happened? Or just walk away and ignore Heinz altogether?
His decision is quickly made for him as Candace comes rocketing up to the two of them, waving her arms. "Uncle Perry, Uncle Perry!" Phineas, Ferb, Vanessa, and Ginger Hirano are right behind her.
What's wrong? Perry asks.
"Phineas dropped the cookies in the snow when Ginger ran into him and now they're all wet and soggy and gross and now we don't have any Christmas cookies!"
Phineas and Ginger, at least, manage to look apologetic for this misdemeanor.
"Don't worry," Heinz says, and all six of them turn to look at him. "I have a cookie-inator at my cafe for emergencies- and I think this sounds like a cookie emergency."
"Wait, isn't that -inator really big and heavy, though?" Vanessa asks.
"Oh yeah, it is," Heinz says. "I'm not sure it would fit in my car, either."
"Hey," Phineas says, "you can take Uncle Perry with you, in mom's station wagon! He's really strong, he can carry me and Ferb at the same time."
Perry and Heinz share a glance, before both of them simultaneously and emphatically say no.
"But- you have to!" Phineas says, and dammit, he's putting on the puppy dog eyes. "You can't carry it all by yourself!"
Perry sighs. His one weakness, Phineas's big, pleading eyes.
"Okay, fine," Heinz says, turning to Perry. "But I'm driving."
Perry rolls his eyes. He is an excellent driver, and a passable pilot too. (Just don't ask him to fly anything that carries more than a couple people.)
"Oh, and if it starts snowing even harder," Phineas says, "we decked it out so it turns into a sleigh! We keep trying to tell Mom about it but she never believes us. Just press the button that looks like a snowflake."
Perry nods, taking the keys off the hook by the garage door and handing them to Heinz.
The drive to the Lovemuffin Cafe is one long, awkward silence. Neither of them say anything to the other as the station wagon slips down the road, nor anything more than "watch the corner" when they load the -inator into the back. Heinz doesn't even make eye contact with him.
Perry, never one to be brushed off, picks up a handful of the fallen snow and follows Heinz when he goes back inside. He throws the snow at Heinz, who yelps as he turns around.
"Yeesh- what was that for?"
Why do you keep ignoring me? Perry asks by way of an answer.
Heinz huffs. "I don't know, because you lied to me?"
I didn't even know you were my nemesis until after I had met you. It's not my fault you're face blind.
"Well, it's not exactly all sunshine and roses for me, either," Heinz says. "I just wish you had come clean a little earlier."
Being a double-crosser is part of my job, though, Perry signs, and as soon as he's finished signing he knows he said the wrong thing.
"I- I thought what we had was real, though," Heinz said. "I wanted it to be real."
I did too, Perry signs. I wanted to get to know you, outside of our nemesis-ship. I just- I have to go back to Sydney on New Year's Eve. I didn't want to get attached.
The silence stretches on for a while.
I regret doing that, if it matters. I- I just don't really know how to have friends, I guess. Especially friends I'm not going to really see much after next week.
Heinz laughs, in a sort of self-deprecating way. "Me too. Boy, we're both a mess, aren't we."
Perry laughs too. I'm so sorry, he signs. Will you forgive me?
After a long pause, Heinz nods. "I guess I get it. It's not like there were any good choices in that scenario. I forgive you." He picks up a pair of sheet pans.
And...one more thing.
Heinz sets the pans back down, leaning back against the counter. "What's that?"
You've changed my mind. About a lot of things. You matter a lot to me. I didn't want to tell you that since I had to leave, and that might scare you off. I didn't want to hurt you.
"Why? I'm your nemesis, you should want to hurt me."
Perry looks down, face flushing. Because I...Because even though it's way too sudden to say anything like this, I'm in love with you. That's why.
"Oh," Heinz says softly, then again a little louder.
Oh indeed. The only question is, does Heinz feel the same way? Perry looks up, making tentative eye contact with Heinz.
He steps into Perry's personal space, forcing Perry to look up to keep eye contact. Slowly but surely, he pulls a sprig of greenery out of his pocket.
Mistletoe. (Why there's mistletoe in his pocket is…a question for another time.)
He holds the leaves just above their heads, resting his forehead against Perry's.
"I think," Heinz says, voice uncharacteristically soft, "I want to kiss you."
Perry's heart soars, a smile flickering onto his face as he nods.
Heinz's other hand comes up to cradle Perry's cheek, bringing them together in a kiss that tastes of every Christmas cliche, cinnamon and peppermint and pine all at once.
Perry leans into the kiss, arms encircling Heinz's waist. Heinz drops the mistletoe, his previously occupied hand holding Perry's other cheek.
They don't part for a long time, not until Perry's lungs are burning from lack of breath.
"Even if we only have this," Heinz says, "I'll be glad to have had it."
Perry nods, leaning into Heinz's embrace, tracing letters onto his back. Me too.
After another long moment, Heinz straightens up. "We should head back- they're probably wondering where we are."
Perry nods, picking up the sheet pans and heading to the doors of the cafe.
Looking out the glass, he can see that the snowstorm has picked up quite a bit. Enough to make traversing the road difficult.
Or, it would, if not for Phineas' extremely convenient improvement to Linda's station wagon.
When Heinz presses the button shaped like a snowflake, he laughs as the station wagon smoothly transforms into a red and gold sleigh, a blanket covering their laps. Even without horses, the sleigh starts off down the road when Perry taps the dashboard.
If you start singing Sleigh Ride, I will throttle you, Perry signs, sitting back and scooting closer to Heinz.
"Love you too," Heinz murmurs, putting an arm around Perry's back. Perry flushes, but still leans into the embrace.
The sleigh makes barely any noise as it glides down the road, snowflakes landing in perfect crystal patterns on the laprobe they share.
"So, you said you were…leaving on New Year's Eve?" Heinz asks, hesitantly.
Well, now there's an interesting thought. He was planning on it- but maybe he should rethink. After all, the main reason he wanted to leave Danville behind was because of the mess with Heinz- and that has been resolved in the best way possible.
It's not like he has any real friends back in Sydney, either. Everyone he's grown close to in a way that matters is here, in Danville.
So why shouldn't he stay in Danville? He has every reason to stay in a place that's far colder- but where the relationships he has are far warmer than anything he ever had in Australia.
He shakes his head. I think I changed my mind, he signs. Everyone that matters is here.
"You're not just saying that because of me, are you?" Heinz asks.
No, my niece and nephews live here too.
"Oh, the two redheads and the quiet one with the green hair?"
Perry nods. I haven't been a part of their lives much. I want that to change.
Heinz pulls Perry a little closer to him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "Then I'm glad to have you stay here, too."
After a few minutes, he adds something else. "You'll still be my nemesis, right?"
Perry laughs, but still nods. There's nobody else he'd rather fight.
Back at the Flynn-Fletcher house, Heinz loads the Cookie-inator with flour and butter and sugar, churning out plenty of delicious cookies to save the party.
As Perry watches his new boyfriend chat excitedly with his nephews, Perry grins. What a month.
And everything he was worried about ended up working out fine! He really shouldn't have worried about coming to Danville- the town sure is strange, but the conundrums always end up resolved.
Well, almost. The mystery of Santa was never solved.
Or at least, not this year. Not yet.
And you know what? It doesn't have to be solved this year.
Because Perry plans to stay in Danville for as long as possible. Sure, he'll still be sent all over the globe for missions, but now his home will actually feel like home.
Ferb hands him a pair of felt reindeer antlers, and Perry puts them on without even blinking. Maybe the town's eternal optimism and Christmas-y spirit has rubbed off on him.
He'll never admit it, of course, but next year on the first of December, he's helping Phineas and Ferb set up the lights, his boyfriend holding the ladder for him.