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A/n hello all. I hope that my fans here in America had a wonderful Thanksgiving. This first chapter takes place in season nine around the time of the episode "Mr and Mrs Anderson. It's a collection of Reid's visits to Maeve's gravesite and how he's working through his lose toward a better place and perhaps someone new in his life.
The greenhouse roses in his hands were beautifully fragrant and blood red. They made him think of June, despite the date – February 14th – Valentine's Day. He'd always despised the day and all it signified, but this year – he stopped and sighed. This year he had someone to gift flowers to and all he wanted to do was run in the opposite direction.
He forced his feet forward over the snow-covered lawn and down a gentle slope toward a raised fountain with a life-sized statue of Jesus, carved from white marble, with his arms outstretched as if welcoming all to his embrace. To his left, Spencer Reid turned and slowly walked forward to a bronze plated, marble headstone, that lay flush to the ground.
Maeve.
Her death was his fault. He'd let her stalking go on for too long out of complacency and some arrogance of his abilities. He should've forced the issue and intervened before it was too late. He should've done anything in his power to save her life.
A tear slid down his cheek as he crouched to slip his gift of roses into the brass vase attached to the headstone. He carefully arranged them so that they stood tall. The scarlet blooms stood out against the snow and the grey headstone like a beacon.
A beacon for what? Maeve can't return simply because you bring her roses.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I love you. I'll love you till the day I take my last breath in this world. Wait for me, Maeve and I'll spend eternity making it up to you."
He stood and stared at the roses as they swayed a little in the cold, winter wind. How many times had he said those words in the year since Maeve's death? How many times would he say them in this empty lifetime that stretched before like an empty highway in the frozen northern landscape? He wiped away more tears that slid down his cheeks. The roses would freeze overnight and blacken. He couldn't stop it. Everything died, even one more precious than his life.
"Good-bye," he said and turned back toward his waiting car and life as grey and dull as the morning sky over his head.