Chapter 17 The Meaning of Koopsmas

Morton sat up with a gasp. The same rainbow colored blanket that had been on his bed for all the times he woke up during the time loop covered his body, which he could see thanks to the light that filtered in through the window. Just like last time, it was mildly cold. However, because of the adrenaline rushing through Morton's veins, he felt so much colder than before. It was as if his body was turning to ice.

Morton shook his head, pulled the covers back, hopped out of bed, and went to the window. This time, he was conscious of the doves that sat on the sill, as well as the fact that they flew away when he opened the window. He thought back to the previous loops, how he had seen but barely registered the fact that they were there. He shook his head and put his hand to his face.

"I am going to be stuck in this loop forever," he said. Any hope he had of getting out of the loop was a vain one. Iggy wouldn't remember the help that he had attempted to give his brother. Not that there was much help he could have given, as there was very little that they had found when they were in the library.

Realizing this, Morton started to cry. He knew what it was like to feel hopeless. He also knew what it was like to feel helpless; he did suffer from depression, after all. As a consequence, each and everyday of his life up to a certain point had been a total slog to get through. Sometimes, he couldn't even get out of his bed because he was so down.

But now...now he was forever trapped. He would relive the same day over and over and over. He would be forced to get out of bed because of his brother coming into the room to wish him a Merry Koopsmas. He would relive the same horrible monster attack, forced to stand by and watch as Motley destroyed the town. He would be forever stuck on repeat, always experiencing the same thing until his mind would go numb. And the worst part was that there was no way out. Not even death.

The tears flowed harder. The sobs escaped from his mouth, unable to be held back any longer. His chest rose and fell as he kept his head buried in his hands. It wasn't until Iggy inevitably came into the room that the sobbing was forced to stop.

"Merry Koopsmas, Morton!" Iggy exclaimed. "The family is just about to start breakfast, and we would be ever so grateful if you could join us." When Morton turned toward him, his face fell. "Morty, are you alright?"

Morton dried his eyes. "I'm fine," he said.

Iggy furrowed his brow. "Are you sure?"

Morton paused. There would be no point in telling Iggy about what had happened yesterday, as he had no memory of it. There would be no point in trying to get his help; the fruitless search in the library had already proved that. So, he sighed.

"Yes. I'm fine." He took a step forward. "Are the gingerbread pancakes ready?"

Iggy beamed. "Not yet. The cooks are making sure that they are of an extra special quality this year. I have a feeling that you will enjoy them."

Morton nodded. "Okay. Lead the way, then."

Iggy cast his brother a warm smile. He took hold of his hand and led Morton out of the room. Koopa troopa servants bustled about the hallway, wearing the Koopsmas accessories that they always wore. Morton took note of their faces; always bright, always smiling. Iggy's face was in a similar state.

Morton just sighed. It was all a lie. They were putting on a front, burying their sadness deep within them due to the horrible expectation of Koopsmas. Morton felt a new emotion take hold of him as Iggy showed him the Koopsmas lights; an ugly emotion that went by the name of resentment. This was a horrible holiday. It deserved to be forgotten and taken off the calendar.

"Morton?"

Morton came back around when he heard Iggy addressing him. "The lights look nice, Iggy."

Iggy nodded. "That they do." There was a pause. "Are you absolutely certain that you are okay?"

Morton sucked in a breath. "I'm fine!" He continued walking down the hall. "It's not like I'm allowed not to be on a day like this."

Iggy followed and put his hand on his shoulder, his eyes shining with concern. "Morty, what the World Eight is that supposed to mean?" His voice sounded the tiniest bit offended.

Morton had to use all self control he had at his disposal to not explode in anger as he spoke. "What do you think it means Iggy? This is the worst day of the year! I hate it! I absolutely hate it!"

Iggy blinked. "Hate it? Hate Koopsmas? Why in the world would you hate Koopsmas?"

Morton dried a tear from his eye. "Because it's a horrible holiday. It pushes a lie, and it forces everyone who celebrates it to indulge in that lie. It forces everyone to be happy, even when in reality, they are anything but! It doesn't allow people to be honest with themselves or with others! It just crams happiness down my throat and expects me to not feel sad when I see what a horrible influence it has on my family!" The tears now flowed harder. "I don't want to celebrate this holiday if it doesn't allow me to be honest and express my true feelings." He exhaled sharply. "And now that I've said that, you're probably going to try to say I don't have 'the Koopsmas spirit.'"

Iggy adorned an interesting facial expression. Morton wasn't exactly sure how he could describe it, as he had never seen it before. It contained a gawking expression, but there was also something about it that made him wonder. That something was….understanding?

"Morton," Iggy said. "I had no idea you felt this way."

Morton bit his lip. "I know. I've tried to keep it to myself. But certain circumstances I'm facing ..." He shook his head. "I just can't keep it in any longer."

Iggy nodded, his eyes shining with empathy. "I understand how you are able to see Koopsmas in this way. However, I believe you have gotten the meaning of the holiday misconstrued."

"Oh really?" Morton scoffed. "Then what is the meaning of the holiday?"

Iggy paused, but not so long that Morton could call attention to it. He cleared his throat. "Koopsmas...is a time where we celebrate life. It is a time where we celebrate what we have. That is the reason why we read The First Koopsmas every year; to acknowledge the blessings that we have been given. It is also a time where we celebrate those who we love, as well as show them how much we care. That is the reason behind why we buy gifts for everyone."

Morton paused. He took a deep breath. The tears flowed again.

Iggy came up and hugged him. "It is okay, Morty. You can let it out. No one will blame you."

Morton hesitated before slowly returning the hug. He patted Iggy on the shoulder, biting his lip to prevent himself from making a mess.

"It is okay," Iggy soothed. "It is okay." He patted Morton on the arm before giving him a warm, endearing smile. "Tell you what; when we get to the dining hall, we will tell our siblings how you feel. I am certain that will prompt them to go a little easier on you. Does that sound okay?"

Morton slowly nodded his head. "Okay."