College student, Rexy Furger already felt his eyes heavy as he woke up. But around him was nothing but darkness, he couldn't even see himself.
"What the fuck is going on?" He asked.
"Welcome to the world of Pokémon." Said a mysterious voice.
"Who the hell are you?!" Rexy demanded. "And what's this about world of Pokémon?! How much crack did I smoke last night?"
"Before we begin, I have some questions, first are you male, female or other?" Asked the voice.
"I'm male, jackass." Answered Rexy, coldly.
"Next, what would you do if someone is bullying you?" The voice asked.
"I fucking kill their asses, that's what I do!" Exclaimed Rexy.
"Next, what do you do when you meet a hot chick?" Asked the voice.
"Easy, I show her my dick." Rexy said. "No bitch can resist the might of my cock."
"Thank you for answering." The Voice said. "You seem to be the fucked up type. You spend a life devoted to drugs and hot bitches."
"You bet your ass that's true!" Exclaimed Rexy.
"Anyways, the fucked up type like you, will be a Larvitar!" The voice announced.
"Larvitar?" Rexy asked. "I'm a fucking Larvitar?!"
"Yes." The Voice said. "Now quit being a little bitch and move your ass. We're going to the Pokémon world."
"Fuck you!" Shouted Rexy, as his surroundings turned white.
Later, he woke up, groggily.
"Ugh, it's like College all over again." Rexy said. "What the fuck happened?"
He then looked at his reflection in a lake, and his face was not a human, but a Larvitar.
"What the fuck?!" He exclaimed. "Am I a fucking Larvitar?!"
He then felt his head. It was longer than he remembered his human head being.
"Is that a second dick?!" He exclaimed. "I have a second dick on my head?"
He noticed a village in the distance.
"Hmm, maybe there's someone there who could help me." Rexy said.
He ran to the village, then a Roggenrola jumped in his path.
"Outta my way, dick-head!" Rexy exclaimed.
"You want me gone?" Asked Roggenrola. "Fight me, bitch."
"I'm too high for this shit!" Exclaimed Rexy, who defeated the Roggenrola in a single tackle.
Rexy didn't know what happened, how he became a Larvitar, and he he was sent to the Pokémon world, and he just didn't give a shit. His only concern was getting to the village.
Suddenly, a Woobat appeared.
"I don't... like wearing panties." The Woobat said. "I prefer wearing thongs."
"What the actual shit?" Asked Rexy.
To get himself together, he reached for his bong, but it wasn't with him.
"Shit!" He exclaimed. "Where's my fucking bong?!"
He decided, 'fuck it!', and defeated the Woobat with a scratch and tackle.
On the way, he found an orb.
"If only this orb was pot." Rexy said to himself.
Finally, after a motherfucking while, Rexy finally arrived at the goddamn village.
"I finally arrived at this goddamn village." Rexy said.
(Meanwhile:)
Charmese, the Summer form Deerling, was minding her own business, but then, she heard a voice.
"Charmese..." The Voice said.
"What the hell?!" Charmese said. "Jumanji? Danny? Danniel? Alicia? If that's any of you, it's not funny!"
"This isn't one of the four you mentioned." The voice said. "You must go find a Larvitar named Rexy. He will become your partner, and will stick with you through thick and thin."
"Huh?" Charmese asked. "Am I support to fuck him in a porta-potty or something?" She asked.
"No. Just trust me. You won't regret finding him." The Voice said.
"Alright." Charmese said. "Perhaps he can releave my stress from the fucking school I go to every fucking day!"
She went to find him. Eventually, they did encounter, by an accidental head collision. They both screamed.
"Argh! Motherfucking cock sucker!" Rexy exclaimed.
"Argh! Shit scooping dick licker!" Charmese exclaimed.
"Huh?" The both said simultaneously.
"Are you Rexy?" Asked Charmese.
"Yeah." Rexy said. "Got any pot?"
"A lot of it." Charmese answered. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Pretty fucking sure I am!" Rexy said.
And so, that is the beginning of the story of a human who turned into a Larvitar. Now that, is some bullshit!
To be continued...