This story takes place in season six, Jo is one of the residents joining from Mercy West. Chapter 1 is a collection of snapshots from what is to come (they are not in order of the story.)

Tell yourself you can always stop

It's all a mess, he's not sure how he got here, he was better than this, he was a better man or at least he was trying to be a better man. He knew it was wrong, deep down he knew it all along but he couldn't seem to stop himself, it all had seemed so easy with her, easier to be a good man with her by his side because she never looked at him like he was anything else but that, even when he'd stabbed her heart and thrown her away like trash.

And now he's lost her.

The shiny wedding band, still new and barely worn, mocking him as he fiddled with it in between his fingers.

"Messy divorce?" The bartender nods down towards the ring, as he wipes the bar down in front of Alex.

"Something like that..." He grumbled, dropping the cold metal band on the bar.

"That sucks man I'm sorry..."

"Don't be..." Alex mutters, tipping his head back to down the rest of his beer, hoping the bottom of the bottle will numb the pain if nothing else.

It's not his divorce that's got Alex Karev drinking his life away and it's not losing his wife either.

He had told himself it didn't mean anything, it was a fling, it was fun, it was nothing he hadn't done before yet this time something was different, he couldn't stop, she wasn't someone he could walk away from.

What started in beautiful rooms

The NICU is often considered the worst room in the hospital but not for Josephine Wilson, she's always found the beauty in the tiny lives that were stronger than most grown adults, the tiny little fighters a daily reminder of the miracles that could happen.

And when she's watching Alex Karev hold that newborn against his chest, exhausted from the hours spent on shift, yet never moving a muscle, she's reminded just how beautiful the NICU can be.

She tries to ignore the way her heart begins to beat faster when he looks up at her, he's trouble, trouble she can't afford to get herself into.

"What are you staring at?" He croaks, rubbing his eyes gently, careful to not disturb the baby cradled against his chest.

"Nothing...brought you a hot chocolate." Jo mumbles, shaking off her trance, a small smile still playing on her lips as she extends the cup out to him.

"Well bring it over here then..." Alex grins, his tired smile making her feel immediately more comfortable as she takes a seat beside him.

Ends with meetings in parking lots

"You were right..." He catches up to her just before she reaches her car, the cold Seattle rain pounding down on them as she turns around, she looks deflated as her eyes meet his.

"Alex...it's been a long day and I'm tired." Jo sighs, running a hand through her hair, trying to keep the tears from falling again, the pain from earlier today hitting her full force now the distraction of work was over.

Alex nods, shoving his hands into his pockets so he could resist the urge to reach out and hold her, knowing it wasn't fair to anyone to do so. "I know...I just need to say something."

"Well say it then," Jo grumbles, raising her eyebrows at him, she really didn't wanna get into it with him now, she really wants to go home, drink a beer and forget she'd ever met Alex Karev.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for all of it, I never meant to hurt you, Jo."

"I know that Alex, you said that earlier." She sighs again, annoyed at herself for wanting to fix the sadness in his eyes as he speaks, he has a wife to do that for him she reminds herself.

"You were right, you deserve better, you deserved better than me Jo." Alex mutters, cutting Jo off as she tries to interrupt him. He's not looking for pity here, he just needs her to hear him. "I'm not a good man and I'm not saying this to make you feel bad I just...I'm sorry."

It's born from just one single glance

"What the hell is that?" Alex mumbles in between bites of his burrito as the consistent banging against the wall gets louder.

"Mhmm think it's Percy and some nurse with clearly no standards" Jo shrugs leaning over to steal some of the chips from his plate as she flips through her magazine "...you probably know her actually," she jokes smirking at Alex who gives her sarcastic smile back, grunting as the moans from the room next door increase, ruining his lunch as he throws the half-eaten burrito down on the table.

In a flash Jo's up opening the door she leans against the wall, her ear pressed against it for a moment before she throws her head back.

"Arwoooo."

She continues to howl like a wolf much to the amusement of Alex who just watches her curiously, laughing as she switches it up to dog barks, drowning out the moans from next door.

"What the hell?" He chuckles, standing up to join her outside the door.

Suddenly Jo stops, switching to monkey noises now, not caring about the curious stares from the passersby in the hallway.

"You are nuts" Alex grins, watching her dance around imitating a monkey, her eyes sparkling with happiness as she does.

Before he knows it he's joining in, a deep growl coming from the back of his throat as he shakes his head around like a madman without a care in the world.

"What is that?" Jo giggles, leaning against the wall to watch him.

Alex shrugs. "I dunno giraffe...dinosaur."

They're both laughing, when the door swings open, a nurse rushing out still smoothing down her hair as she pushes past them.

Percy emerges in the doorway fixing his scrub ties as he narrows his eyes at them. "Yep...thanks a lot guys."

Neither one of them seemed to care though as they carry on growling at each other.

Alex was surprised to find that for a moment all the pain and craziness of the last few weeks faded into a blur, all he could see was her, her smiling face, lighting up the room as she laughed along with him, it scared him that at that moment he honestly thought he wouldn't mind seeing that smiling face for the rest of his life.

And clandestine meetings and stolen stares

"What are we doing in here?" He grumbles ignoring the tingles coming from their joint hands as he allows her to drag him into the supply closet. He's exhausted, he's not slept for at least 36 hours and he didn't have the energy to mess around tonight.

"Just wait…" Jo grins ignoring his grumpy mood as she comes to stop, bending down slowly she reveals a pink box that Alex recognises from the bakery downtown.

"I stole them from the nurses on derm, they won't eat them any way they're all no sugar and gluten-free." Jo mimics the nurses turning her nose up as she opens the box to reveal a fresh batch of doughnuts, handing Alex one as she pulls one out for herself.

"It's powdered sugar, it's your favourite." She nods, as she stares up at a confused Alex who seems to have frozen.

Alex couldn't quite place the feeling that was taking over him as he watched Jo grin up at him with a half-eaten doughnut in her mouth and powdered sugar all over her face. "Yeah...no...this is great thanks." He stutters, he's about to ask her what's going on? Why would she do this for him? but before he can the door swings open and Yang and Grey are standing there.

"Sorry to interrupt it's just Izzie is here.." Meredith snaps looking between the two of them. "You know your wife Izzie?" She makes a point of looking at Jo as she mentions his wife.

They show their truth one single time

"You don't get to talk to me like that. I didn't force you to be friends with me." Jo yells, slamming the door behind her as she follows him into the empty on-call room.

"Look I was mad and I was scared." Alex grits his teeth, he's sick of this shit, sick of being yelled at by every other person who has an opinion on his life.

"Why?" Jo snaps, smacking her hands against his chest. "Why...what's so awful about what Shepherd said that meant-"

"Because he's not wrong is he?" Alex snaps, gripping her wrists, stopping her mid hit, as he pulls her closer so they're eye to eye. "I am falling in love with you, which is something I can't do because I'm a married man."

Jo pulls herself out his grip, turning away like his words had burnt her, reaching for the door when he speaks again, each word hurting more than the last

"I'm a married man with a wife who I want to come home... every day I'm sitting by the phone waiting for her to call, or at least I'm meant to be but lately, I've been hoping she doesn't call…"

"And that's my fault how?" Jo whispers, her back still to Alex, knuckles turning white from her grip on the door handle.

"Because you made me love you." He whispers, hanging his head low as he hears the door click shut behind her.

Don't call me "kid," don't call me "baby"

Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me

She does this every time. Every damn time she lets herself fall for the bad guy, the wrong guy, the guy that hurts her. But this time it's worse because he's never laid a hand on her, no he took something much worse, he took a piece of her heart and she'd let him. She knew he was married and still, she'd let herself get caught up in him.

And you know damn well, for you, I would ruin myself a million little times.

Alex really wasn't in the mood for a visitor as he heard a knock on the trailer door, hoping if he just stayed quiet whoever the hell it was would go away, he didn't need any more unsolicited opinions, but whoever it is doesn't seem to be giving up any time soon.

Sighing, he puts down his beer, he opens the door, surprised to find Jo looking back at him.

"Hey" she mutters, she looks deflated today's case had really hit her hard and she hadn't seemed to be able to shift her mood, Alex had been her last resort.

"Hey" Alex nods like he's waiting for her to say something, perhaps an explanation as to why she's at his door in the middle of the night.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Jo asks peering past him to check for herself.

"No...you wanna come in…" Alex shakes his head, stepping aside letting her pass him.

"So, this is how you're spending your evenings, can't believe you got pizza without me…" Jo mumbles picking up his half-finished beer and taking a swig.

Alex sighs, he can tell by the tone of her voice she isn't in a good place and out of all the people she could've gone to she's here with him, he never really thought he'd get this chance again, he didn't wanna screw it up by hurting her again. "I'm sorry...about the kid, I know this one hit home for you."

Jo nods, a sad smile playing on her lips as she leans against the countertops. "It's all part of the job right?"

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really…" Jo mumbles, placing the bottle down slowly, moving to stand in front of him, her eyes never leaving his, they don't need to say anything the other already knows.

And just like that Alex is lifting her up, her legs automatically wrapping around his waist as his lips find hers, promising to take all her pain away if she'll do the same for him.

And that's the thing about illicit affairs...

I've posted on Tumblr so all my Jolex one-shots are coming out a little delayed. Thank you for all the love and all the reviews.