Delusions of Grandeur

Category: Drama, Action, Angst, Thomas/Donna, Harvey/OC, Darvey.

Summary: When Donna is presented with an exciting new opportunity, Harvey has to decide whether to let her go or fight. A situation made more complicated by the return of Stephen Huntley and Harvey's own latest distraction.

AN: What can I say? This idea got stuck in my head and now I'm invested in another multi-chap fic :D Set in season 8 but it doesn't follow any particular timeline except that Donna is dating Thomas. Thank you so much to Southsidesister (Darvey_love) for the help and encouragement!

1.

Harvey's lips curve around the glass in his hand, the unique notes of sandalwood and honey starting to blur after a few too many but the Whiskey's doing what it's supposed to- filling the ache of loneliness that's taken up residence since neither Donna or Mike bothered to return his calls. A few years ago the ex-communication would've been unheard of, both employees at his beck and call, but neither work for him anymore and those days are long behind them. Donna may technically still be under his payroll but it's different. He lost the right to intrude on her life at all hours when she'd moved to Louis' desk and more recently when he'd forced the line after her lips had sought out his, testing the relationship he'd been in and subsequently ending it as a result.

He can still taste the sweetness of strawberries in Donna's kiss, no amount of alcohol able to wash it away, and something akin to regret cramps in his chest.

He misses her.

They've found their footing but the scattered hours they spend drinking or sharing a meal aren't enough. Her company is becoming an addiction, the high fleeting and dumping him in the recesses of darkness when she leaves. He wants more and knows that makes him the biggest, prized asshole because instead of facing up to his feelings, he's here now, at some seedy dive bar, barely paying attention to the blonde saddled up beside him.

Catherine, Clara... something like that.

Donna would have a field day.

Lucky for him the woman seems content with letting her words flow so all he has to do is nod and smile where appropriate. He isn't proud of himself but also can't find the motivation to steer her away, the only other thing waiting for him tonight an empty apartment reflecting his poor choices.

The blonde pauses momentarily, excusing herself to go to the bathroom, and he sinks further into his self-loathing but gains the benefit of foresight which encourages him to leave before things go any further with the attractive, affluent heiress. He's not a thirty-something bachelor anymore. He's trying to bury his emotions in a time that no longer exists but the rationality becomes clouded by fear as the minutes roll by. He doesn't want to be alone tonight and before he can reason the argument back the other way, long slender fingers wrap around his wrist removing the glass from his hand.

He shifts his attention toward her, drawn in by piercing green eyes that are seductive in their demand and he swallows thickly as she guides his palm to the edge of her dress, the silk warm and welcoming beneath the light brush of his thumb.

He shouldn't.

He's far too drunk, the contact bringing forward flashes of fiery red hair and long cream legs wrapped tightly around his waist. It makes him recoil, realizing anything that happens tonight is just going to be a projection of his fantasies but when she leans forward demandingly, whispering seductively into his ear, incoherent thoughts drive the uncomfortable strain inside his trousers. He needs to feel something other than the unrelenting pelt of a cold shower and he surrenders himself to her gentle tug rising to follow the sway of her hips out into the cool night air.

It does nothing to sober him and the cab ride is quiet, building a steady rise of tension that needs releasing. He forces himself to stop thinking about Donna as they navigate the busy streets, long enough so he can control the hum vibrating through his body.

It isn't fair, he knows that, but is far too gone to read into it or even consider appeasing the moral objections that sound in the back of his head. There's an easy uncomplicated answer right in front of him and he follows the blonde's cue, paying the driver and stepping out to get the door for her.

Small fingers lace with his, the warmth guiding him up to a lavishly overdecorated space that's adorned with a hideous chandelier but he isn't here to admire the decor and judging by her feverish hands a tour isn't on the agenda.

He doesn't complain, his back hitting the surface of the nearest wall as her mouth opens across his and he's lazy with any attempt to help remove their clothing. Fortunately she seems to like being in control and he submits to her enthusiasm, his body on auto-pilot as she grinds against him, maneuvering them in the direction of her bedroom.

His thighs collide with a large four-poster frame and her weight is enough to push him over, her fingers deftly working to remove the last of the fabric between them which she achieves with no resistance. He's compliant and even entertains the idea of being completely selfish as she sinks on top of him but instinct takes over, clumsy fingers aiding her in finding a release.

He chases his own with visions of strawberries and whipped cream, a night that has been seared into his memory and never fails to bring about his own climax. He can picture it vividly- the plea on Donna's lips as his tongue lapped her up and the following contraction of her thighs, the haunting sound of pleasure echoing in mind and making him bite down hard on his lip to stop from breathing out her name.

He feels a spasm around his desire, finding the motivation to flip the blonde on top of him and withdraw because even though they're having sex there's something too intimate about spilling inside her. He empties himself on her stomach instead, collapsing on his back with shaking arms and he tries not to flinch as her nails drag over his chest.

She makes light of needing a shower, asking if he'd like to join, but he doesn't have it within him to go again and thanks every deity under the sun when his phone vibrates, the sound reaching them from somewhere inside her apartment. He lies without hesitation, claiming it could be important given the nature of his job and lifts himself from the mattress going in search of his jacket.

It nothing urgent, Mike promising he'll call at a more reasonable time but he takes advantage of the excuse striding back into the room, not deterred by his state of undress as he explains it's an emergency and that he needs to go deal with it. She seems disappointed but accepts he has to leave and in less than twenty minutes he's stood fully clothed on the sidewalk, in the freezing cold, too drunk to walk but sober enough to feel regret churn in his stomach as he hails a cab.

.

.

He arrives at work the next day still smelling of stale scotch, the alcohol sweating from his pores and he flinches when Donna steps out of the elevator across from him. She eyes him up and down with an all-knowing look because he might seem respectable to the rest of the world but she isn't most people. She's always been able to see straight through him and when she extends her coffee without question he accepts it.

"Thanks."

"Rough night?" She queries falling into step beside him, feeling guilty for having missed his call. She'd been wrapped up with Thomas and hadn't listened to her messages until this morning but he'd clearly taken it upon himself to go drinking without her.

"Had better." He admits, growing hesitant and wondering how candid he should be with revealing the truth. If she hasn't already guessed he'd rather not skirt any closer to his inappropriate actions, especially given the nature of the thoughts that had been driving his behavior. He just wants to forget it happened and clears his throat, quickly changing the subject before she has time to speculate. "You?"

"I was... it was good." The slip is half intentional but her cheeks flush as she diverts last minute, deciding to keep her activities private in light of his current state. She's been meaning to tell him about Thomas, the CEO who just happens to be one of Louis' oldest clients and more specifically the man she's dating. The confession has been on the tip of her tongue but the right words always allude her, like cotton in her mouth whenever they surface, and she stalls outside her office swallowing them down in favor of doing what she can to avoid any awkwardness. "If you need a hand with anything let me know."

She doesn't quite meet his gaze and any other day he might read into it but the pounding in his head steers him away from asking questions. The only thing he needs is the caffeine she's willingly sacrificed and he tilts the cup in a gesture of gratitude.

Her mouth curves in response but it's forced and guilt crawls beneath her skin as she pushes on the glass, the usually safe space leaving her feeling open and exposed. She's not technically lying but in the world of Harvey Specter keeping something from him means the same thing and she opens up her laptop, overcompensating by doing all she can to rearrange his calendar.

"Donna, do you have the-"

"Corner of the desk, Louis." Her smile is more relaxed as she acknowledges the intrusion pointing to the document he's panicking about. "I emailed a draft copy down to finance yesterday so they should have it proofed and back in the next hour."

Louis' shoulders sag with relief and he steals a moment to collect himself, eternally blessed because no matter what the situation Donna's always one step ahead no matter who she's working for. "You're a goddamn life saver."

She assumes he doesn't mean the hard candy kind and shrugs casually, "not to the Darryl... but the people in Operations love me." She beams up at him appreciating the compliment but her gaze dips back to Harvey's schedule mentally focused on what she can do to help him out today. "Are you still on with Kathy Delaine at 4pm?"

"Just canceled. Woman's a jerk with a diamond sized chip on her shoulder, why?" He reels off the insult, watching her eyes narrow at the flickering screen.

"Harvey's got a call with one of Katrina's clients, think you could take it?"

"Consider it done." In the past it would have fallen to him by default anyway but since taking on the role of Managing Partner he's had to scale back his other duties- something Donna has guided him through every step of the way. If it weren't for her he wouldn't even have the title and he's more than willing to return a favor in any capacity he can. "Need me to tell him?"

She shakes her head wanting to deliver the out herself. Harvey should see it as a good thing but she doesn't want Louis wearing the brunt of any frustration if she's wrong. "I'll do it."

"Sure." He nods, a little confused by her forced smile but sensing it's not something he wants to get in the middle of. Donna had told him about Thomas a few days ago and his gut reaction had been one of happiness. Knowing them both as he does, it seems like a perfect fit but realizing he'd found out before Harvey had left a pang of unease rolling around his stomach that he hasn't been able to shake.

"Have you..."

"Not yet." She anticipates what Louis is about to ask and understands it's awkward for him. Thomas is his client and Harvey is his friend but she's going to make it right, she just has to work up the nerve first. "I will, today. I promise."

He relaxes again fully understanding why she's hesitant. Telling Harvey means it's getting serious and while he's sure that's a great thing for Donna, he's not so sure it's a good thing for NYC's best closer. The man has been out of sorts lately but if Harvey can't see Donna is the best thing that's ever happened to him then it's not his place to judge- out-loud anyway.

"You have Katrina's notes?"

"I'll send them through." She curves her lips, grateful for his tact and more importantly the leniency he's bestowing on the situation. It means a lot and she's completely sincere with showing him how much it means. "Thank you, Louis."

He leaves with a nod, returning the sentiment, and she sinks back into her chair with a sigh.

Maybe he's right- it's better to bite the bullet.

After all, it's not like Harvey has any real reason to be bothered. Thomas is a great guy. He's kind, smart, funny and loyal. It's not like when she was dating Stephen Huntley, a now convicted felon, and Harvey had barely battered an eye-lid when she was seeing Mitchell. The only real point he can object too is that Kessler has been a long-serving client of the firm but she's sure he'll respect that she and Thomas are adults, and the resolve urges her toward Harvey's office.

The state he's in hasn't changed and she does him the courtesy of knocking, even though she moves straight to the seat opposite his desk.

He glances up briefly, not annoyed but distracted, and she crosses her legs folding her hands over knees with a small smile as she delivers the speech she'd prepared n the few small steps leading her here. "Louis had some free time this afternoon so he's going to take Katrina's meeting. You also have a light day on Thursday and could reschedule lunch with Zach Bryner, but I wanted to check before I moved anything."

He raises his head more prominently because it's bullshit. She never runs anything by him first, she just does it, and while he appreciates the effort she's always gone too- he doesn't if it comes with an ulterior motive. "Donna, I don't need a babysitter."

"Since when?" She teases lightly, prompting an eye-roll followed by a huff. He might not want her help but he needs it and she tilts her gaze with a pointed look. "If you think you can handle a Gallagher's Steakhouse special today, then by all means..."

She shrugs her hands and his stomach turns at just the mention of food, conceding to the suggestion because she's right- as always.

"Fine, reschedule."

Luckily gloating isn't her thing but he feigns disinterest in carrying on the conversation as he reaches for more caffeine. The last thing he needs right now is her sympathy and he knows it's a dick move but he returns his attention to the work in front of him using it is as a silent dismissal.

It's a cue for her to leave but she doesn't, twisting her fingers together as a softer note hugs her voice. "I'm sorry I missed your call last night." She dives, almost, straight in but his reaction is barely a flicker and she sighs, the urge to come clean propelling her courage, "the truth is I've been seeing someone... Thomas Kessler. Louis knows but I haven't told you yet because-"

"Donna, it's fine."

It isn't.

His chest clamps around the admission she's been seeing someone, squeezing out sparks of betrayal but he needs her to stop talking, give him a moment to squash down the panic that's rising. In the vast scheme of things maybe it doesn't matter that Louis found out before him. It's not like hearing it first would've softened the blow and he breathes in a ragged breath, his lips numb and they dig into a forced smile. "I'm happy for you."

There's a beat between them, a pause where his mouth twitches ever-so-slightly and she swallows. "You sure?"

He nods curtly, the tension in his upper body sagging as his fingers drum the edge of the desk and she has no reason to assume he's lying. He'd been clear about resisting anything that might have surfaced after their kiss, romantic or otherwise, so she'd made it easy for him. She'd owned up to the mistake and buried any hope of more developing between them. Sitting opposite him now, with the weight of her feelings pushed beyond reach, she knows it was the right thing to do. She wants them both to be able to move on and smiles gently, "thank you, Harvey."

The gratitude stabs through him and he reaches for his pen trying to channel the anxiety coursing through him. "I know Thomas, he's a good man."

'Know' is a stretch but Louis has always spoken highly of the CEO and even though it hurts, more than he ever assumed possible, it's what she deserves. Someone stable who will treat her right and he blinks bringing his swimming vision back into focus, trying to think of something else to say when his phone starts vibrating across the desk.

Donna's eyes flash to Sean Cahill's name lighting up the screen and she glances at Harvey with a frown. "That can't be anything good."

No shit, he thinks, almost welcoming the escape but refuting it as he clears his throat wondering how the morning could possibly get any worse. "Sean, this had better not-" he stops, the man's terse interruption cutting him off and the mention of Stephen Huntley drives Harvey's palm against his forehead. Donna mouths a confused 'what' but he shakes his head trying to focus on the details Sean's relaying over the call, his stomach churning with every piece of information that's being delivered.

Fucking great. Not only does he have to deal with Donna's current boyfriend the universe is throwing her goddamn ex into the mix and he retaliates angrily against the conspiracy, "this had better be some kind of fucking joke."

It's not.

That much becomes clear when the phone flies down a moment later, bouncing across the desk and Donna startles at the reaction reading the lines of worry mixed in with his frustration. Usually she would leave him alone to process whatever is going on first but this isn't a situation she's listening in on. She's here and her curiosity gets the better of her, "what did he want?"

He stares at her, absorbing his concern because as much as he wants to he can't shield her from the truth. What he can do is downplay the fallout and he scrubs his face gaining a hold of his irritation. "Stephen Huntly has inside information on a federal case. Cahill's was giving us a heads-up, they're going to cut a deal with him."

She stills at the mention of Stephen, clamminess beading her hands and she clasps them together swallowing dryly. She's the reason they were able to convict him of murder in the first place and he's no doubt been sat in a cell harboring a grudge ever since. Just the thought of him getting out makes her feel nauseous and her voice sounds small as it breaks the silence. "He's getting out?"

"Over my dead body."

He's completely serious, having watched the color drain from her face and willing to do whatever it takes to put her mind at rest. He doesn't do the 'comfort' thing but he needs less space between them to assert himself and stands, stopping to lean against the corner of the desk. "If the information pans out he could be up for an earlier parole hearing but we can appeal."

She nods trying to steal comfort from his resolve but they both know with the feds backing Huntley's acquittal it's not going to be that simple. There's every chance he could walk free and if they attempt to road-block him it could make things worse.

"Donna..."

He can see she's scared.

The time it takes her gaze to lift just confirms her fear but she doesn't have to be afraid. He'd once promised to never let anything happen to her and he'd meant it. No matter what's changed between them since the sentiment has always stayed true and he had no problem admitting it. "You know I would never let him hurt you."

She does know that, the reminder reassuring her more than any plan to keep Stephen behind bars and she takes a deep breath calming her panic, "are you applying to be my personal bodyguard?"

He smirks.

Until the realization that he's not first in line for the position sobers the amusement. She has a boyfriend to keep her safe, Kessler every bit the Knight in shining armor from what he's heard, and he straightens needing to return the distance between them. "I'll get on the phone, find out everything I can."

There's a roughness introduced into his tone and she can only assume it's stemming from his concern, knowing the best thing she can do is let him get a handle on the situation. He doesn't respond well when he's not in control and she pushes up genuine with her gratitude. "I trust you."

She smiles softly and it swells in his chest, her unwavering faith in him the driving force behind so many decisions he's made and he answers it with a subtle nod, watching her leave and wincing when the feeling laps into a dull ache.

How long before that confidence starts to waver, before she starts placing it in Kessler instead?

There's bound to come a time where she's going to have to choose like she's done in the past with her former boyfriends but up until now she's always picked her career, him, over anything more serious. It terrifies him that this could be different, that Thomas might be the one who encourages her away and the thought steals the strength from his legs, his knees buckling back into the chair.

He doesn't want to lose her but he's selfishly been putting his own needs first for over a decade and when his phone lights up, a message buzzing through, he picks it up the device sinking into the distraction.

Drink again tonight? - C

Catalina, he reads the name that's been programmed into his contact list knowing full well he wasn't the one who put it there but tempted by the offer regardless. It's a short respite from Huntley, everything he's trying to ignore, and his rational thoughts are at war with his need to escape the shit-storm that's brewing. This time Mike would be the one having a field day but the younger lawyer isn't here and his thumbs fly hastily over the keyboard, hitting send before he can regret the decision to see the blonde again.

He needs something tangible to hold onto until the ground stops spinning and if this is it, so be it.