Chapter 1

There were two things that kept me up at night… Number one: the Destruction of Wall Maria. Number two: The Death of my brother and of countless other people. Every night, I would get flashbacks of him… Times when we were laughing, smiling silly at each other until the memory shifts to his last moments when I wasn't there to witness it… According to my mother, the blast had his head smashed against a boulder.

As much as I regretted it, I was at a friend's place when I should've been at home instead or to be there when he played outside… As the eldest, it was my duty to protect him but how was I to know? I mean: Who would've predicted his death? Who would've predicted the Colossal Titan to come here in the first place? Not I. Not anyone. And because of it, my brother died meaninglessly… He was a healthy, happy boy who never gets sick. He would've been the first to exceed the life expectancy and lived a long, fulfilling life. I would've been able to see him grow old too. But it's too late. No matter how hard I tried: I can't turn back time... My brother is officially dead and there is nothing I can do about it...

My poor brother… He must've felt so hopeless back then… He must've been so scared. There was nothing else he could do, nowhere else to go to! He never made it in time to save himself… I-

I gave everyone a startle. I leaped upright and gasped for air as my chest begins to ache. Flickers of light appeared from all spaces and lit the room. Without hesitation, Mikasa walked towards me with an unchanged expression and caressed me with soothing words. Krista came in and did the same, "Just take in deep breaths." Some of the girls fell back to sleep, others waited for me to come back to my senses. We were all silent for a few minutes until Krista slipped in bed and embraced me for the time being. I cried on her shoulders, "Everything will be alright." she said as she stroked my hair. Mikasa settled on my bed and watched silently.

It happened so frequently that it became a habit of mines. Almost every single night, one of the girls (mostly Krista) would come to my aid and embraced me till I sleep. Sometimes, it's Mikasa or someone else. Once the crying is done, I had my face rested at one side as to face Sasha but as I look on, the firelight revealed a funny looking lump that is supposedly Annie. Maybe she sleeps funny, I thought. Though the longer I looked, this was beginning to question me.

The next day, the bell struck and Krista nudged me awake. I smiled at her and get off the bed preparing for what was to be attended. I took a quick shower, slipped into my brown cardigan and dark blue trousers and left for the Cafeteria.

As usual, I joined Krista and Ymir at the table and started with our typical everyday breakfast: Bread and Corn soup. While they talked on, I caught Annie at the corner of my vision. She had her blonde hair tied in a bun and was dressed, (though lacking in style) pretty decently. Nothing out of the ordinary. Despite my suspicion that she wasn't at the Dormitory last night, Annie showed no symptoms of sleep deprivation. There were no dark circles under her eyes, she was in her usual mood and there were no signs of fatigue. I watched as she strode to one corner to get breakfast and settled at a lonely table just opposite mines.

"-Right, y/n?" Krista snapped me back to the conversation.

I stared at them dumbfoundedly, "I'm sorry, what?"

"Looks like someone's distracted," Ymir said.

I said nothing.

"Is everything alright, y/n?" Krista asked.

"Yes. It's nothing to concern yourselves with." I replied.

Krista placed her palms together and put them to her lips, "Well, as long as you're fine, I'm glad." Then with reassurance, "y/n, if you're ever feeling down, just talk to me okay?"

I nodded, "I will."

She beamed a smile: "I heard there's this new Tailor in town! How about we go visit there?"

"What for?"

"Commander Shadis told that we are given us some time to stroll around the streets before sundry duties, " Krista answered.

I took this in: "Okay, I'll come!"

Once breakfast finished, we lined up for a roll call and headed out for the city of Trost. "Break will only last for one hour. Please be sure to arrive at the top of that wall before 10 am. Are we clear?"

"Yes, sir!" We cried in unison.

"Now you may go." Like a signal, we flooded the streets.

The city of Trost seems a lot livelier than I remembered. Apart from my fellow comrades, people of all ages scattered around the city scavenging for supplies like food and clothing. I recall our last visit here where streets are used for training and people are ordered to clear the area.

The buildings aligned, though massive, looked identical to one another with red or dark coloured bricks to make out the walls and their similar rectangular structure. Compared to us, we looked like ants rather than humans. From our level lay the stalls that occupy the streets to form a wide path.

So, this is what a normal day of Trost looks like, I thought.

With her hand dragging my arm, Krista led me straight to the Tailor at the edge of the streets. "There it is!" She said pointing at one simple looking building that blends in well with the rest that scatters about. Around me, I saw that there are other girls who are headed for the same way. Some I've never thought would go to places like this: There was Mikasa, Annie, and even the unbreakable duo, Bertholdt, and Reiner. As we entered the tiny shop, the smell of sweet perfume flooded was the first that came to my senses, the second was the pink flowery walls that gave out a very feminine impression. The tailor mainly supplied of wedding dresses and gowns than of men's clothing. At the centre of the shop was an old friendly woman, given that she was providing assistance to a pretty young lady, she must be the shopkeeper.

"Is that longing I see?" Ymir said to Krista. She caught her staring at that woman's dress.

She replied hesitantly, "I just- I was hoping she could have a happy wedding. I was thinking of how I have to dedicate myself as a soldier to protect people like this."

"Hmph. Spoken like a true overachiever..." the freckled girl shrugged, "Hey Krista, don't you think that dress would look good on you? You'd probably look more like a princess than a bride, though."

She only laughed in return.

Reiner, behind me, suddenly joined in the conversation, "Th-That would look great on her… She'd be beautiful."

After we left the shop, Krista asked what time it is in which I fished for my pocket watch and checked the time. "9:16 am."

"Oh. There's still time." Ymir commented.

We were walking towards the Outer wall when we passed a boulder on our left. Just a big boulder… Nothing more. Nothing less. And further down lies a Riverbank… Maybe I should go there.

But my friends were looking in the opposite direction, "Ymir! Y/n! We can have a look at all those restaurants! I wonder what food they sell."

I checked my watch and said: "I'm not sure if there's still much time left, I would want to go to that Riverbank over there. " I pointed at it.

The two thought about this for a moment and exchanged faces. Finally, Krista said, "We'll visit the restaurants some other time then. Let's all go to the Riverbank together!"

Hand in hand, we marched and marched until trees surrounded us and civilization faded from behind. The sunlight escaping through the branches was enough to light the way. As we kept our silence, the sound of a river flow conquered all sounds. "Doesn't it look beautiful?" Krista said, gazing at the atmosphere. Then filling her lungs with air, "It's nice to take in a fresh breath of air once in a while." We spotted a connecting riverbank and followed it. As we walked on, I had my ears wide open for the sound of leaves crumbling at every step I take.