Hey y'all! I'm back! My eSsEnTiAl job laid me off for a few weeks so I decided to re-write a fic I started (and never finished) years back lmao. I've been rewatching DGM and suddenly had ideas for that fic so here we are.

I suck at descriptions. This is mainly Lenalee x Kanda, but with a little Allen x Lavi and Miranda x Krory for funsies. It takes place within the first two seasons of the show. This story is rated M for serious lemonade and a little violence.

Feedback is greatly appreciated.

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM.

Chest heaving and sweat running down his body, he decided that he had trained enough for the night. With that decided, he headed off for a bath to soothe his aching muscles before going back to the training room to have his habitual meditation before bed.

He heard the door slide open and didn't even have to open his eyes to know who had entered. No one was stupid enough to enter that room while Kanda was using it, not even that baka usagi or the moyashi. Who would enter a room while a worked up Kanda was swinging his katana around?

However, as of late, Lenalee had been showing up during his meditation period to join him. It was better than the rabbit or the bean sprout. Lenalee, he could tolerate. She wasn't half as annoying as the other idiot exorcists that ran around the Order, doing what they could to irritate him. He cringed just thinking about it, hearing Lavi in his head, "Yu!~ "

Lenalee had sat next to him, mimicking his lotus position on a matching black pillow. They sat silently for several minutes, Kanda losing himself to a field of Lotus flowers, and Lenalee to a home with no one but her beloved brother. It was Lenalee's favorite dream. Of course, she had learned to love the Order as her home, with a large family of siblings that she had grown to love as if they were biological. But that didn't keep the dreams away. She couldn't deny how badly she wanted to be tucked away in a home with her big brother, just the two of them, no Innocence, no Exorcists, no war, no nothing. He would read her stories and tuck her in, and she would be up bright and early to make his coffee before he went off to work. That's what she wanted it to be, but she knew it was something she could never have.

Kanda on the other hand was lost in a field of Lotus flowers. Every time he closed his eyes he would become surrounded by them. It was like he couldn't escape the damned flowers; even when his eyes were open, he saw those pink things everywhere. He could feel them if he reached out to touch them as well. He knew they weren't there, his elders at the Order had told him that a hundred times, but he couldn't help but think they were real, given how real they looked, smelled, and felt.

He drew his eyes open when he felt Lenalee's movement next to him. She was standing now, smiling softly at him. "Go rest now, you deserve it." Her voice was gentle and she held out her hand to help him up from the floor.

He ignored her hand and stood, nodding at her before heading to his own room.

The pair spent the night tossing and turning.

The female exorcist's nightmares had grown progressively worse the past few weeks. Every time she fell asleep, she would be plagued with terrifyingly real scenes of everyone she loved being killed by the damn clan of Noah. And lately, Kanda was the center of those. In her dreams she would just be walking, her feet bleeding, and she would trip over something hard, falling to her hands and knees. When she would turn, she would see Kanda's corpse before her. His body would be cracked all over like stone, his eyes wide with shock, and it hurt Lenalee's heart. She couldn't bear to lose anyone in her family. It hurt too much. She had to protect them all.

Kanda's dreams were...different. Lately, his body wanted something desperately that he couldn't explain. He wasn't an idiot; he understood the mechanics of sex. But it had never interested him before. The swordsman had to find her, and couldn't rest until he did. Now, when he tried to sleep, he was plagued with dreams of Lenalee that would wake him up in a cold sweat, hard as a rock.

xxx

The sword-wielding exorcist nearly growled when there was a knock on his door. He had an hour before he was shipped out to Russia for a mission, why couldn't he have some quiet, alone time? After all, he was going to be stuck with that damned bean sprout and the bunny for the entire trip. At least Lenalee would be there, and she was Kanda's only hope of making it through the mission without killing the other two boys.

After nearly ripping the door off of its hinges by opening it as harshly as he did, Kanda sighed. It was Lenalee, with the tray that she used to bring the Science Division their coffee. All that was placed on the tray was a dark blue mug, steam being emitted from the liquid inside. "Kanda," A little bit of pink speckled her cheeks when she noticed his shirtless state, though she managed to catch herself quickly. "I brought you some tea to have before we leave." She smiled, thrusting the tray out towards him.

He grumbled his thanks, a bit surprised, before reaching out for the mug. He sipped, experimentally, before taking a larger gulp, much to Lenalee's delight. When he finished, he returned the mug to her tray and followed her silently as they walked towards the main entrance of the Order.

xxx

"Komui gave me all the details for this mission," Lenalee started, taking her seat on the train next to Kanda. He refused to sit next to Lavi because if he fell asleep, the idiot would touch his hair. And if Allen were next to him and fell asleep, he would end up leaning on Kanda and getting drool all over his shoulder. Lenalee had been his safest bet. "We'll be going to the Altai Mountains. The reports said that people have been going into the mountains and have not made it out alive."

"Che," Kanda looked at her with a raised brow. "Why the hell are we investigating that? Humans, wandering into subzero temperatures and blizzard conditions and dying? That's really weird," He muttered sarcastically.

"She wasn't finished BaKanda!" Allen said defensively.

"Don't call me that you stupid moyashi!"

"My name is Allen, BaKanda!"

Lenalee cleared her throat loudly, glaring at both the boys. "The bodies that had been found and examined didn't show signs of death via hypothermia," Lenalee explained. "It looked like their hearts had been ripped out." She sighed with worry when she saw the way Allen's body had tensed. "We think that the Altai Mountains may be where the Noah have relocated to. The manner of death points right to Tyki Mikk."

Kanda knew that it was going to be a cold trip. They would be marching through the mountains and it was December. Of course it would be cold. So everyone had adorned extra fabric to stay warm. However, this was a whole new level of cold. Kanda's body was probably the most prepared for the weather, though it was still harsh and bitter enough to be slowing him down. Lenalee on the contrary was doing the worst, her entire body numb and her lips a pale blue.

Everyone, Lenalee included, had been shocked to say the least when they had stopped to take a break. "Lenalee," Kanda's rough voice grumbled. And when she turned to face the samurai he placed his outermost jacket over her. He knew that it was a futile attempt to keep her alive, but he would do what he could to keep Komlin from trying to kill him if she died in the cold. She took it happily, thanking him profusely. She couldn't deny that it did help; as big as it was on her, she loved the way that the neckline went up to her mouth, protecting a good portion of her face from the winds was an added bonus. And it had a very subtle floral yet masculine scent that she realized was just Kanda.

With a small blush she stood up as much as the small cavern they had hidden in allowed her, "I'm okay, really! Let's continue." She beamed, her smile seen by all three men even as it was covered by the jacket.

They continued hiking around the mountains, facing the powerful winds and subzero temperatures. But the night was getting closer and closer and fatigue was hitting everybody in the group. They had looked as quickly as they could and took the first cave-like area to hide in for the night.

"Yu! W-Why d-d-don't you g-go look for f-fire w-w-wood?" Lavi asked, sitting and hugging his own torso as his teeth chattered together almost violently.

"Don't. Call. Me. That." It was mere seconds before Mugen had been drawn and pointed at the red head's face.

"Alright, alright!" Lavi held his hands up defensively.

Kanda withdrew his katana and put it back in its sheath. He threw off his backpack and handed it to Lenalee. "I'll be back within the hour, use whatever you need while I'm gone." He gave her a serious look but raised a brow when she stood up rather quickly.

"Take your jacket! It's even colder o-out now t-t-than it was before!" She exclaimed, hurrying to unzip and unbutton the jacket to return it to its owner. He put it on and mumbled his thanks as he left.

xxx

With a fire ablaze in the small cavern it seemed as though everyone was beginning to recover from their trip. Allen had eaten nearly all of the food in his pack once he had been able to heat things up, Lavi had fallen asleep dangerously close to the fire, Allen following suit as soon as his stomach was settled. The only female exorcist of the group and the dark haired samurai didn't feel like sleeping. They had both been completely, physically exhausted, but neither could fall asleep. Lenalee had been too cold, and Kanda had been too overwhelmed by thoughts to even try and sleep.

Kanda peered over at his only awake companion and raised a brow. "You still cold?" He muttered as he watched her hugging herself as her teeth chattered and her entire body was shaking like a plucked string.

She nodded fervently, releasing a shaky breath. "But I'll be fine!" She smiled at him, though he knew that it was fake.

He sighed, running a hand through the part of his hair that wasn't held back. He looked over at the rest of his group, making sure they were definitely asleep. "Come here," He whispered harshly, motioning for her to come to him.

She was about to ask why when he started to take off a few jackets and patted his lap. She timidly crawled towards him and sat atop his knees as he began to wrap his jackets around her small frame before he pulled her tightly against her chest. She gasped when she realized how much warmer he was. Did it have to do with his body? Like how his body healed so quickly? He had been stripped down to the bandages he used as an undershirt, so when Lenalee rested her cheek against his chest she could feel the heat radiate off of him.

She fell asleep quickly in the heat he provided along with the steady beat of his heart to lull her. The breeze made the hair on Kanda's neck stand; however, he could tolerate it. He didn't know why, but he was definitely enjoying the feeling of another body with his. He had never cuddled before, for that matter, he had never even wanted contact with another human. However it made something that he couldn't place flutter in his chest. And it made him smile. And lucky for him, everybody had gone asleep so no one would ever see it.

His breath was sharp when her hand grazed his hip bone. Carefully, he shifted her body to avoid her feeling how hard she was making him. The lotus flowers in his head were, once again, being replaced with images of Lenalee that were sure to rival Bak's own imagined images of her.

He didn't sleep.

He held onto her until the sun rose, where he then moved her carefully so that she lay on the ground next to where he sat, nice and close to the dying fire. There was no way in hell that the other two idiots would know about Lenalee's sleep. It would be their little secret.

Allen had been the first to wake up and was immediately upset at how stupid the BaKanda was being; no matter who he was, and what abilities he had, it was way too cold for him to be without a shirt. And Kanda didn't need the short stack to act like his mother. It had taken all of five minutes before they were trying to kill each other and the other two in the group had been woken up and were trying to separate them.

After they had been broken up, Lenalee returned most of the jackets and everyone had eaten a little for breakfast, save for Allen who wiped out his food supply completely, and they got up and left for another day's trek.

xxx

The two dark-haired exorcists had taken to a small ditch that was covered enough to fend off the incessant snow. Both were actually pretty warm after walking in the sun's brilliantly bright rays for hours in their heavy Black Order attire. Both were drenched in their own sweat and panting heavily.

They had sought refuge in the ditch after fighting off a pack of akuma after Lenalee realized how badly Kanda had been cut. He had grumbled about it being nothing and tried to get her to just get over it but she couldn't, especially not after seeing the way that his blood stained the snow they had walked across. They sat in there, Kanda leaning against the snow and Lenalee on her knees arguing with him, trying to get him to remove his jacket and let her at least look at the wound.

"Would you just forget it already?" He grumbled, turning his head to face away from her. He was embarrassed that he had slipped enough to let an akuma so close to him.

"Not until you at least let me see it!" She crossed her arms over her chest, absolutely resolute. The male across from her was going to protest when she just lunged forward, grabbing at the zipper of the jacket he wore. Startled by the sudden attack Kanda wasn't able to respond immediately and she got the clothing open enough to reveal the wound. Sure enough it had already begun healing but it was still horrifying to see, to say the very least.

They locked eyes for a moment; Kanda's furious while Lenalee's were just hurt looking. Kanda's softened a degree upon realizing that.

The pig-tailed girl wordlessly turned from him then to dig through her bag. Kanda's alabaster cheeks were dusted with a faint blush but the girl was so busy looking for her first aid kit that she missed it.

He didn't like being doted over and that's what he felt like she was doing to him as she noiselessly removed his clothing entirely and applied some ointment to the wound—causing him to hiss and glare at her—and wrapped and ace bandage carefully around his chest to keep the gash protected. "There," She murmured as she scooted back to admire her patchwork.

"This'll be healed within the hour," He groused, crossing his arms over his chest intractably. "Lenalee?" He cocked a brow and squirmed a little, uncomfortable with the way she was staring at his body now. And he became even more uncomfortable, every muscle seizing and tensing and his cheeks burning when her fingertips brushed so softly over his skin, tracing the numerous scars that adorned it. As of late, his dreams had been focused almost primarily on her touching him, but not like this.

His hand caught her own suddenly, his eyes meeting hers once more and snapping her out of her trance.

"Kanda," Her voice was barely audible as she pulled her hand away from her partner to wipe at her eyes, fighting back the tears that pricked them.

"Lenalee, they're nothing. There's no sense in crying over them." He gulped. Something in his chest ached and he knew it was because she was crying. He wasn't sure what to do. She was about to say something but he snapped, stopping her dead in her tracks. "Listen to me; they're just scars, just discolored flesh. They don't mean a god damned thing!"

"They're the proof of the awful life you lived. You didn't and don't deserve a life so wretched!" She snapped back, tears running freely now.

"That's all in the past! There's no sense dwelling on it. What's done is done." He was so full of it; he dwelled on it every single second of his life. He just wanted to make her stop the God-forsaken crying already!

She leaned back to rest her bottom on her heels and hold her head in her hands while she cried hard then. She was crying for both Kanda and, she realized, herself. She kept her emotions and thoughts of her past to herself and for whatever reason the dam had broken just now.

Kanda's heart raced then in fear; what the fuck did he do? What would Allen do? The thought made him almost vomit on the spot but he was so flustered and confused with her emotional outburst his own mind was all over the place.

The samurai moved suddenly, leaned forward to pull Lenalee into his lap and embrace her. A bit too tightly, but he had never known gentleness.

The lithe girl in his arms tensed at first before relaxing, molding to him as she curled up in his embrace. His arms softened a bit and eventually his hand took to rubbing her back tenderly and his chin rested atop her head. Her crying had calmed down and ultimately stopped all together. He was incredibly warm and despite being thin and muscular, very comfortable. She enjoyed this embrace more than she could have imagined.

The two drifted off into a light snooze but Kanda perked up suddenly, startling his companion. He could hear something in the distance that didn't sound good. "Lavi," He murmured.

"What's the matter?" Lenalee asked suddenly, looking around for some sign of danger.

"They're being attacked." Kanda grabbed all but pushed Lenalee from his lap, leaving his jacket lying on the ground as he grabbed Mugen and took off from their hideaway.