It was Remus' birthday, but the day after a full moon meant that he was spending most of the day in bed. Thankfully Hazel was curled up beside him, a bunch of birthday presents stacked on top of his trunk. They were planning on having a small celebration in the common room later that night, but for now, he was just glad that he could spend the evening dozing off with her. They made real plans for the weekend, but it was something.

"I love you, Hazel," he whispered, kissing her cheek as she slept soundly next to him. "You'll never be able to understand how much I love you."

"Sev..."

"What did you just call me?" He shook bolted up in a panic, Hazel slowly sitting up in a daze. "What the hell?"

"What?" she yawned. "What the hell what? What's wrong?"

"You just - you just called me 'Sev'."

"Sorry." She rubbed at her eyes, explaining, "I had a dream about him, that's all. I'm worried about him. He's been reading up on all sorts of Dark Arts stuff, and some of the friends he's made in Slytherin… I'm worried about what it's doing to him. That's all." He relaxed a bit, Hazel leaning in to kiss him. "I love you, Rem." She paused, checking to be sure they were alone. "Want me to show you how much?"

"How much?" he grinned.

Drawing the curtains around the bed, she waved her wand and cast a Muffling Charm. "There, now everyone's ears will buzz if they get too close. Comes in handy. Now come here."

"I keep meaning to ask… Where'd you learn that one from?"

"I read," she shrugged, setting her wand aside. She leaned in to kiss him, gently guiding one of his hands up under the jumper she'd stolen from him. "Just push it down a bit, or... It fastens in the back."

"Hazel -"

"Shh," she giggled as his fingers crept up her chest. "Don't say anything."

He started to massage her breast in response, which she took as a good sign until he protested again. "Why tell me to be quiet if you just said -"

"Shh, Rem," she smiled as she reached for his belt loops, Remus taking the hint and pulling everything down as she undid her own zipper and started to cast things aside.

As she hooked her now-bare leg over his hip, he stopped kissing her for a second. "You sure you want to do this?"

"Yes," she smiled, kissing him again. "You deserve it. Besides, it's part of your birthday present. And your post-full moon present." She groaned a little as she guided him inside, Remus softly biting her lower lip. "Happy birthday, Rem."

Like usual, it was soft, and gentle, and slow, giving them the sense of closeness that they both longed for. Hazel closed her eyes as they fell into a steady rhythm of motion, their bodies grinding together as they pulled each other closer, closer, closer… "I love you," he gasped as she tightened her grip on his arm. "Hazel, I love you."

"Love you too," she breathed, smiling at the warm half-kisses he was giving her, the prominent nose pressed into her cheek, the curtains of dark hair falling into her face. No. What in Merlin's name are you thinking? For the briefest second her mind had wandered, wondering what it would be like if Sev was the one she was doing this with instead. What is WRONG with you?! You have an incredible boyfriend. You love him. Don't you? Don't you? And you don't see Sev like that, right? All coherent thoughts were thrown from her mind as he hit a sensitive spot and a wave of pleasure washed over her. "Remus… Remus! Merlin, please don't stop."

When they were thoroughly exhausted, Hazel waved her wand over both of them, performing the usual charms. She let Remus pull her close, holding his hand as he kissed her shoulder blade. "That was… perfect," he smiled. "You're the best birthday present I could've asked for. Not just this - you, me, everything we are."

"Mhm," Hazel nodded, desperately hoping he wouldn't want her to roll over and kiss him just yet. She could feel herself getting closer and closer to tears. I love him, right? You and Sev are just friends. It's normal to wonder sometimes, right? You're the perfect couple, everyone says so. You can't break his heart. Especially not now. Not when you're not sure.

"Are you okay?" he asked. Normally she would've said something sweet in return.

"Just tired. And I have birthday planning things to do yet," she answered, bringing his hand to her lips. She kissed it briefly before getting up and wrapping herself in his dressing gown. "I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?"

"Bathroom."

Remus stared after her, wondering if he'd done something wrong. No, it's got to be part of her secret birthday plans. Right? They'd been a little more distant than usual after a series of small disagreements about Snape and his friends. Remus didn't see why Hazel bothered keeping someone like Snape around. But then again, he kept people around who weren't always great for him. Snape's going to be a Death Eater. There's a reason you don't like them hanging out, he's not good for her. And he adores her. Remus sat up in bed with a sigh. James and Sirius aren't that bad. Then again, Sirius lured Snape to the Shrieking Shack when you'd transformed. Maybe she does like him. No, she loves you. Why else would she spend so much time with you, take care of you after the full moon, organize a birthday party for you? But she might like Snape too. He buried his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes and hoping it was just another one of his nagging insecurities.

Hazel made it halfway to the bathroom before she started crying. She locked herself in a stall, thankful the place was empty so she could sob in peace. It hurt. Everything hurt. It hurt to look at Remus and know that she loved him dearly but she was starting to get the same feeling in her stomach when she talked to Sev that she'd had when she and Remus had first started dating. It hurt to look at Sev, knowing she was so in love with Remus. It hurt to see his friends pushing him towards the Dark Arts and Remus' friends relentlessly attacking Sev. It hurt to be there for both of them and feel like she was caught in the middle of something and not firmly know what side she was on. It hurt to admit what she knew was true: She wasn't totally in love with Remus anymore, but she wasn't totally in love with Sev either.

The only thing she knew was that she felt like she was going to be sick. She sank to the ground, trying to steady her breath. She would have to go back to Gryffindor Tower eventually. "Ooh, something wrong with you and your boyfriend?" Moaning Myrtle floated in, taking a seat on the toilet tank. "Did you have another row?"

"No," Hazel sighed, trying to dry her eyes.

Myrtle frowned, telling her that, "There's another boy who talks about you a lot, you know, when he thinks he's alone. Sometimes cries about how you're still with that... werewolf."

"Sev… really?"

"Oh yes, he's quite distraught over it sometimes."

That only made her feel worse. "You mustn't tell anyone," Hazel said. "I love Remus. He… he feels like home, like being with him is where I should be, like… like a warm summer day, you know? But Sev… Sev's so sweet, and he's always been kind to me, and lately… sometimes I'll see him and I can't help but wonder what it would feel like to kiss him."

"Oh dear," Myrtle crooned. "I've heard this so many times before. So many girls like you, stuck between a sure thing on one hand and something less sure but equally as good on the other…"

"Well what do I do?"

"That I can't tell you. You have to decide for yourself. But I think you need to think long and hard about those boys who bully that poor friend of yours. And the Slytherins he hangs out with," Myrtle offered as Hazel stood up again. "Think about it before you do anything rash, but certainly think about it."

Remus was sitting up in bed when she got back. "Are you alright? You've been gone for a while. I started to get worried -"

"Can I borrow another one of your jumpers?" she asked, already rifling through a drawer. "For the party, I mean? I need to start setting up, and they're really comfortable. Like I'm hugging you all the time." She forced a smile, coming over to kiss him and praying she didn't look too much like she'd been crying.

"Sure. Hey, come here." He pulled her into a hug, forcing her to sit on the edge of the bed. He usually loved seeing her in his jumpers, the sleeves rolled up so she wasn't swimming in them. But now something just felt off. "Are you sure you're okay? I know we've been arguing more lately, but I still love you."

"I love you too, Rem," she said, putting a hand to his cheek. "I don't want to talk about it now. I don't want to make myself sad." She gave him a kiss and got back to her feet so she could finish getting dressed. Remus watched her in the fading afternoon light. Is it close to her mum's birthday? Her dad's? The day her dad had been killed? Maybe that's it. Hazel glanced in the mirror before looking back at him. "Get yourself together and wait up here. I'll find you when everything's ready."

A group of them - James, Sirius, Peter, Lily, Marlene, Emmeline, and their friend Mary Macdonald - were assembled in the common room when Hazel led Remus downstairs. Marlene, Emmeline, and Mary had secured a birthday cake from the kitchens. Peter had drawn up a banner that read "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, REMUS", which James and Sirius strung up in a corner with the help of their brooms. Lily had broken into their butterbeer stores and covered the table in chocolate frogs. There was a chorus of "happy birthday"s as he came downstairs, smiling and thanking Hazel profusely as they walked.

For a while she was able to forget about everything but the party, but eventually Hazel found herself looking around at everyone, suddenly aware of the people she was surrounded by. Think about the people who hurt him. Moaning Myrtle's words rang in her ears as she made eye contact with Sirius, who smiled at her and leaned over to whisper something to James.

"Right, Ashmore?"

"What? Sorry. I zoned out for a sec-"

"Wasn't Snivellus looking extra greasy today? Could've used a dip in the lake. Or some good soap. You're gonna need to teach me that spell, Prongs."

Hazel pursed her lips, Remus looking at her as her grip on his hand tightened. "Leave him alone. And don't call him that."

"Then he shouldn't have called Evans what he called her," James chipped in.

"You've called him that since first year. Just… leave him alone."

"Why? Are you -"

"Shut. It," Hazel hissed. "This is a birthday party. Leave stuff like this out of it, alright?" James and Sirius exchanged a look before turning away to ask if anyone wanted to start a game of Exploding Snap.

When the night wound down and things were cleaned up, Hazel and Remus settled in on the sofa. Everyone else went upstairs to bed, leaving them free to talk. "Is everything with Snape really bothering you that much?" Remus asked, twirling a couple strands of her hair between his fingers.

"Yeah." Everything with Snape… well, he's not technically wrong. And this isn't technically a lie. "I've got to figure it out, but any way I figure it out, someone's not going to be happy." She paused, shaking the thoughts from her head. "Tonight, though, tonight's about you. Happy birthday, Rem." She gave him a kiss before settling in, Remus wrapping his arms around her. As they fell asleep in front of the fire, Hazel did her best to practice her Occlumency skills, blocking everything from her mind like she and Sev had been trying to teach each other.