AN: This is where it starts to go even more AU. Only one more chapter to go! Thank you for all tbe support so far!

Friday 18th June 1976

Fifth Year Gryffindor Girls Dorm, 21:00

"Lily," Mary called across the dorm as she stormed in.

What had her in such a mood? Not that she wanted to know. Lily tried to pretend she didn't hear her. She wasn't in the mood to be dealing with anyone this evening and she didn't intend to. That was the whole point in disappearing up to her dorm, after all. She couldn't bear be around anyone. Actually, she kind of wanted to curl up under her bed with a blanket over her head but apparently that behaviour was frowned upon. Aka, Marlene dragged her out from under her bed and had refused to give her her blanket back ever since. Which was theft by the way but Marlene didn't seem to care.

"Lily!" Mary said even more insistently.

"I don't think Miss High and Mighty is going to go away," Marlene said.

Huh. Lily hadn't heard that nickname in a long time. Was that even the right one for Mary? She couldn't remember.

"Lily!"

"What?" Lily grumbled, lifting her head up from her pillow.

Mary looked about as unamused as she felt. Well, the other girl looked more annoyed than anything else...

"I'm am not some messenger owl," Mary complained.

"Isn't that the only thing owls do?" Marlene piped up from her own bed. "Send messages?"

"So?"

"So, saying messenger owl is a bit redundant. You're just an owl."

Mary gave Marlene a withering look and muttered a, "Whatever" before turning back to Lily. "Anyway, I'm not some owl!"

"What are you even talking about?"

Wow, she sounded tired but interacting with Mary on the best of days made her tired.

Mary actually stomped her foot at her. Stomped her foot. A sixteen-year-old. Really.

"As if you don't know!"

"I really don't."

Was there something in the air today? Something that made everyone act incredibly stupid? Because, seriously, people were acting even stupider than usual today. And she had dealt with more than her fair share of stupid, she really had.

Mary stared at her and threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. Still not telling Lily what all this was on about. You know what? Lily really couldn't bring herself to care. She was going to go to bed and just get this awful day over and done with.

"Lily!"

That had to be the most scandalised voice she had ever heard Mary use. And Mary got scandalised by a lot of things.

"What?"

Lily didn't even bother to look up again. She was done dealing with Mary. She couldn't hack it. Now she knew what Marlene felt on a daily basis.

"That Snape boy wants you."

"Too bad," Lily grumbled.

There was no way she was talking to him. No. Never again. It wasn't going to happen.

"Whatever," Mary said with an eyeroll as she got ready for bed. "Just passing along the message."

"Well, it's been received."

Loud and clear and she was paying no attention to it. She had better things to do. Like actually get into bed and not just lie on top of it. But she couldn't be bothered moving. At least she was in her pyjamas so sleeping on top of her bedcovers wouldn't be a bad thing.

"Oh, by the way, Snape said he wasn't going to leave the Common Room door until you came down," Mary stated as she climbed into bed.

"What?"

That was just stupid. Was he intending to stay overnight and all?

"That's what he told me. Pretty pathetic, if you ask me."

It really was. Not that Lily cared. Lily didn't care at all. She rolled over and glared at her curtains. Oh, but she did care. But only a little bit.

"I'll go talk to him," she grumbled, getting out of bed and grabbing her dressing gown.

Outside the Gryffindor Common Room, 21:30

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath."

Severus had never, and he meant never, heard Lily use such a cold tone before. And it was being directed at him. It was night-time. Lily, who was wearing a dressing gown, stood with her arms folded in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, at the entrance to Gryffindor Tower.

She was very good with that disdainful look of hers. It made him feel very small. Especially with the way she was looking him up and down.

"I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

At least MacDonald had passed on his message. Or begging was probably a better word for it but he really had no shame anymore.

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just-"

"Slipped out?" There was no pity in Lily's voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends- you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking. He didn't even know where to start. Is that what she thought of him? Is that what it looked like he was doing? Death Eaters? What the people in the Daily Prophet were calling those, those murderers?

Lily wasn't paying any attention to him, she was still ranting, "I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

Panic flooded him. No, no, no, no! This wasn't how it was supposed to happen! It couldn't!

"No- listen, I didn't mean-"

He was babbling. He knew he was babbling. But he had to get his thoughts out and fast. Why was it so hard?

"- to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?" Lily demanded, interrupting him.

"I don't call anyone a Mudblood!" he blurted out. "I never have until today! And I didn't mean it today! I swear!"

It was literally what just slipped out. He was embarrassed and furious and humiliated and Mulciber and Avery were there also laughing and then Lily appeared and then everything just fell apart. His need to fit in had gone too far. It wasn't worth this!

"So, what? I'm just special then?"

Her hands had gone to her hips and, despite her short height, looked very intimidating. Did Lily know how to make her eyes glow or something?

"No! I mean yes! Wait, no..."

She made a scoffing noise and rolled her eyes.

"What is it then?"

Somehow, she didn't look upset anymore which usually Severus would take to mean a food thing but it just seemed to mean that she was even angrier now. Which was not a good thing. It was most definitely not a good thing. He flinched.

How was he supposed to explain himself when even he didn't understand why he had said what he said? Was it social pressure? Stress from exams?

He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turned and started to climb back through the portrait hole...

No, that couldn't happen!

"Please, Lily!"

Thankfully, that made her stop and turn around.

"Why did you say it then?"

"I don't know. I don't know. But I'm sorry. So sorry. Please I didn't mean it-"

"But you said it! How could you ever think it?"

"People throw that word around in the Common Room all the time," he said desperately.

They used it so casually too. It was just in his head and it came out!

"And that makes it better?"

"No! Never! But I'm sorry!"

Severus didn't know what else he could say. If he could say anything at all.

"Please believe me," he added in a quiet voice.

He could feel all of his good leaving him now. Just like Lily was going to leave him and go back into the Gryffindor Common Room and she was never ever going to talk to him again. He looked down at his scuffed shoes, frowning when he noticed the was still some grass on them.

No reply came from Lily and he sighed heavily. Looks like that was that then. He hadn't managed to fix anything. In fact, he might have just made it worse. Was it possible to feel even more defeated than this? Because he really didn't think so.

Turning around, Severus made as if to leave only for a hand on his shoulder to stop that.

"Wait."

He could help but get hopeful as be turned back to meet Lily's watery green eyes.

"I don't think I can forgive you quite yet," Lily said, blinking back tears. "I just can't."

"That's fine," Severus said quickly though his heart was sinking. "What I said was unforgiveable."

"It was. It really was."

Severus felt like his whole world was coming apart in front of him. How did it get this bad so fast? It wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't. Why did she turn him back around to say this to him? To rub it in? He already knew how much he hurt her.

"But maybe I can. Eventually."

That, that was better than nothing, right?

"Are we still friends?" He asked quietly.

He hadn't realised how easily he could lose that friendship until now. He didn't want to lose Lily's friendship.

She shook her head. "I don't know Sev. I really don't. Friends don't use what are basically racial slurs against each other."

"I know and I'm sorry!"

He really was a broken record today.

"Why did you even say that?" she asked yet again.

Severus knew she was just trying to process the day and everything but asking the same question over and over wasn't going to make him give her a different answer. Mainly because he didn't have a different answer. No matter how much he wished he did.

"I, I, I don't know," Severus admitted.

Because he didn't know why je said that horrible word. He didn't think like that. Truly. Why would he? Lily was his best friend. His only friend, he was starting to see. He didn't think she was any less than him. Hell, she was better than him. Miles better than him. He had never even used that awful word until today.

Another head shake though this one was more pitying.

"Well, you know where I am if you figure it out."

This time he didn't stop her going back into her Common Room.

Saturday 19th June 1976

Gryffindor Table, Great Hall, 09:30

"Did you hear what happened with the fifth years?"

"After their DADA exam..."

"That Slytherin kid..."

"I heard that-"

"- the Marauders, they -"

Frank tried to tune out all the gossips. Which was hard because it seemed like it was the whole Gryffindor table. He didn't want to think about what happened a few days ago because he had completely failed in his duty as a Prefect by being unable to prevent the incident from happening.

Sure, he hadn't been aware of the incident until the tail end of it but he still felt like he should have been able to do something. Which was ridiculous but still.

"Hey, Frank-"

Frank glared at Julian. "If you're going to mention that stupid incident by the tree I am going to walk right out of here."

Julian held his hands up in defence.

"No fear. I just wanted to see your notes on switching spells."

Their Transfiguration exam was tomorrow.

"Oh." Frank blinked and then started rummaging around his bag. "Sure."

"Thanks," he got in response as he handed the notes over. "Mine got pumpkin juice all over them."

"How?"

Julian shook his head. "Two words. Juggling and Jasper."

Monday 21st June 1976

Great Hall, 11:30

She went through the motions of her Transfiguration exam like she was in a trance. Lily couldn't have told anyone what she had wrote for it though she had definitely put something down. Though that was the last thing that mattered at the moment. Of course, exams mattered - these were her OWLs, after all - but so did other things. Like the state of the world and friendships and, and what effect those had on each other. That made it sound a lot deeper than a friend using a slur that demonised you. But it still mattered.

It mattered because, well it hurt. And confused her. But Lily had kind of gone last the feeling of hurt now. Not that she accepted or forgave the fact that it happened. It was just, well, she felt, she felt -

Hollow. That's what Lily felt. Hollow. Like something was missing in her. Or was empty. Yes, empty. That was the right word for it. She couldn't even muster up the energy to feel something anymore. Maybe that was better than all the overthinking she had been doing. She didn't know.

Absentmindedly she followed the crowd of students as they all eagerly left the exam behind them. There was just the Defence Against the Dark Arts practical to do this afternoon and Healing tomorrow. And then OWLs would be over. Done. No more exams. Then it would be the summer holidays.

Noticing where everyone was going, Lily deliberately took a step to the side. No. She wasn't going to go outside. Not straight after an exam. That was definitely not something she wanted to do again, no matter how tempting the glittering lake was.

She was going to go up the stairs, into Gryffindor Tower and... do something? Revision, read a book. Something. As long as it wasn't outside.

Wednesday 23rd June 1976

Library, 14:00

"Evans said you were sulking over here."

Severus looked up to see all four of the Marauders. They were all standing over him like a predator would over its prey. It would be disconcerting if he gave a crap. Which he didn't.

"I don't sulk."

Because he didn't. That would be childish and Severus Snape was anything but childish.

James shrugged. "Take it up with Evans. She sent us over to cheer you up."

"Pull you out of your funk," Sirius added. "She thought you were getting all dark and depressed and gloomy and stuff."

"And stuff?" Severus asked incredulously.

He hadn't been sulking. Severus Snape did no such thing. He would never admit to it. No way.

Remus elbowed Sirius, making him yelp.

"Hey! What did I do?"

"Lack in tact," Remus scolded and turned to Severus. "Lily did not say that."

"What do you even want anyway?"

They were the last people he wanted to be talking with. And he definitely wasn't high on their list either, he was sure.

All four of them looked at each other in that annoying way of theirs. Like they could read each other's minds. Which was ridiculous because Severus was pretty sure none of them had the discipline required for Leglimency. Especially not Potter.

"Well?"

None of them had replied and he was getting impatient. Really impatient. What did a person have to do around here to sulk in peace?

"Well," Black swallowed. "We just, well, we just -"

"We wanted to apologise," Potter said firmly. "We were out of line out there and we shouldn't have done it."

Severus looked at them. That had been the last thing he had been expecting. He didn't know what he had been expecting but an apology definitely wasn't it.

"No, you shouldn't have," he replied slowly.

Because they shouldn't have. For once, he hadn't been shooting sarcastic comments at them or trying to get them back. He had literally just been walking past them with the question paper. He hadn't even realised that they were there. And they, well, Potter, had pulled that stupid stunt.

Potter looked uncomfortable but he ploughed on like the Gryffindor he was.

"It was something a bully would do and I don't like bullies," he announced.

Severus tried not to snort. Could have fooled him.

Black gave him a dark look but Potter just sighed.

"Yeah, I know. A bit of a hypocrite. I realise that now."

Wow. Who knew that Potter could actually come to that sort of conclusion? Who knew Potter could think badly of himself at all?"

"Good," Severus said shortly because he didn't know what else to say.

Potter sighed heavily. Severus didn't know whether it was a sad, exasperated or an angry sigh which put him on edge. What was Potter going to do now? Was all this just to get him to let his guard down?

"I, we won't be singling you out like we've been doing anymore," Potter said, nervously running a hand through his hair.

"Thank you."

Okay, yes, that was a slightly sarcastic response but he couldn't help it. Should he really be grateful for them doing something they should have been doing all along?

Potter's mouth actually twisted into a self-deprecating smile. Severus thought that that would be it but then Lupin coughed. They all turned to stare at him, making him blush. Severus hadn't expected any of the others to talk at all.

"Can you do the same?" he asked softly.

He didn't think he'd ever heard Lupin be aggressive in his life. But his statement was confusing.

"I mean," Lupin hastily amended. "Can you stop targeting us as well? Your shots at us aren't always a retaliation."

How did Lupin manage such a reproachful tone? And the annoying thing was that he was right. Severus sometimes just shot a spell at them just to show off or because he was annoyed at them, though he would never admit it. Showing off was Potter's forte.

"Okay," Severus carefully agreed.

He kind of had no choice in the matter.

"So, pax?" Potter suggested, holding out his hand.

Severus gave him a long, measured look. He couldn't detect any deceitfulness and for all of Potter's faults, he didn't think that deceitfulness was one of them.

"I still don't like you," he replied, taking the hand for the briefest handshake imaginable.

Potter shrugged. "I don't like you very much either. But that's no excuse for being a bully."

The said the word bully like he had just sucked down some pickle juice. Like it pained him to say it. Huh.

"We won't target you anymore," he continued.

Black snorted which made Lupin elbow him. No one argued with Potter, however.

"Okay," Severus said again, not knowing what else he could say.

Apparently, it was the right thing as Potter nodded at him.

"Finally," Black basically whined. "Can we go and do something fun now?"

Severus rolled his eyes and lifted his book again. At least he now knew he wasn't going to be the target for Black's boredom anymore. Hopefully anyway.

"Yeah," Potter slung an arm across Black's shoulder. "Why don't we do that prank where mist spills out of people's sleeves every time they raise their hand."

"That's three separate spells," Lupin said. "And fiddley."

"But not impossible."

Severus made a scoffing noise.

"Have you got an opinion, Sniv-ow! Snape? See? I said Snape!"

Somehow Black didn't sound as threatening when he was elbowed by Potter.

He looked up at them and raised an eyebrow.

"Actually, I do."

"It's brilliant, isn't it?" Potter bragged.

Severus rolled his eyes and then glanced across the bookshelves to where Avery, Lestrange and Mulciber were no so subtly lingering. And had been this entire time. Seriously, were they even trying to be sneaky?

"Sounds like a horrible idea," he told them and all of their faces fell.

It was quite amusing how quickly it happened. "Especially when there's a Potion that does something much better."

Severus thought that he had never seen something quite so blinding as four very stupid, Gryffindor grins. They really were quite ridiculous. Why had he even suggested the potion? Was he mad? He wasn't their friend and he definitely didn't want to be involved in one of their madcap schemes. That was just stupid. So why did he even say anything? It just sort of came out.

"Oh, is there?" Potter said eagerly.

Severus sighed. He was going to regret this, wasn't he?

"Yes. Yes, there is."

There was always a better potion, after all. Deciding that he wanted to show off a bit, he outlined the potion to them and directed them towards a book which they eagerly snatched up.

"Thanks," Black said genuinely, looking eager to cause even more chaos than they were originally.

Severus shrugged awkwardly. "No problem. Don't link it back to me."

The last thing that he needed was to be associated with these boys in any way.

"No worries about that," Potter laughed. "Who would believe us?"

"Snape helping us?" Black mocked. "Yeah right!"

That actually got a chuckle out of Severus. They did have a point.

"Tell us of we got it right!" Potter said to him as they left for real this time.

"Nah, he'll be able to tell," Black said mischievously. "He'll either have smoke coming from him or he'll get singed."

Yeah, that was something he would really rather not happen. But it probably would. At least it would be better with the potion. Then a thought struck him.

"Potter," Severus called after their retreating backs.

They all turned back around to face him and he couldn't help but gulp slightly. Oh, this was awkward. Especially with their expectant looks as he didn't say anything.

"Um, uh, thank you. For apologising. I do accept it."

He never did say that to them, after all. And they were trying so he supposed he should too.

Another blinding grin. Seriously, did he not know how ridiculous that made him look?

Friday 25th June 1976

Outside of Library, 11:30

"Lily! Lily!"

Severus didn't know whether she was ignoring him or if she just didn't hear him. Either way, he was basically beside her before she acknowledged he was there.

"Snape."

He flinched at that. He didn't think Lily had ever referred to him by his surname. It felt so... wrong. What was also wrong was how she was looking at him. There wasn't any happiness in her eyes. Thankfully there wasn't any hatred either but it was liked she was wearing a mask. She was kind of emotionless. And that was just plain wrong.

"Uh. Hi."

Lily sighed. "Did you want anything?"

"Um. Ah."

How did he put wanting to know if she had thought things over without sounding all needy and desperate? Even though that's what he was.

"I just wanted to know how you were doing," he said lamely.

She gave him a weird look. "What do you think?"

Yeah, that was a pretty stupid question. But what else was je supposed to ask? Have you forgiven me yet? That was just distasteful. Even if it was the number one thing he wanted to ask.

"Um. Yeah."

They stared silently at each other, awkwardness stretching between them.

Lily sighed. "Was there anything you actually wanted to ask me about or tell me? Because otherwise I'd like to go and return my books.

It was only then that Severus realised that she was carrying a stack of books. Charms and Potions ones. He felt a pang in his chest. Potions ones that she hadn't talked about with him.

He didn't want her to go just yet. He wanted to talk to her. But what to say? Was there anything to say?

"Potter apologised to me, by the way," Severus said suddenly.

That was probably an important thing to mention. Especially the way Lily went off on the Gryffindor boy earlier. He didn't exactly like him and he had started all these awful events today but, well, he had apologised. And no one had ever apologised to him before. And Severus thought he had meant it. Potter hadn't made a show of it or anything. Just apologised.

Lily did a double take at that. "He did?"

"He did."

Severus was still somewhat in shock over it. Potter? Apologise? Apologise to him? Potter was apologising to him? No, it couldn't be.

"Oh."

Lily looked like she didn't know what to make of that. Not that he blamed her, he didn't either. Actually, he still wasn't sure it was something he had just dreamed up.

They lapsed into silence again. Severus suddenly tasting blood as he chewed on his lip a little bit too hard.

"Severus?"

He gave her a hopeful look.

"Can I go into the library now?"

His heart sank but he stepped aside.

"Sure," he mumbled.

Ravenclaw Table, 13:15

Chryssie watched her sister and chewed her lower lip. She was worried about her, had been ever since the famous Blow Up. But she didn't know what to do. Lily looked fine, was acting normally. Or, that's what it looked like but Chryssie knew better. She knew her sister. She thought so anyway. But that didn't mean she knew what to do. But she didn't.

"Just go over and talk to her."

Chryssie almost fell off her seat. Somehow, she had actually forgotten that she was in a massive hall filled with hundreds of other students.

"What? I can't do that!" she spluttered.

Because she couldn't. What was she supposed to say? That she was worried? Was on her side? Was on Severus'? That was just plain silly. The answers were obvious after all and it would just look like she was following Lily around.

It was just wrong. He wasn't going to do it.

"I'm good," Chryssie said to Creswell who just rolled his eyes.

Boys just didn't get it. They weren't subtle like girls could be

"You're staring at her and not eating anything. It's a bit obvious what you're doing."

Oh. Well, that still didn't mean she had to do anything. Because she didn't know what she could do.

Sunday 27th June 1976

Slytherin Table, Great Hall, 09:00

Severus frowned as he slipped onto the bench. Automatically, he reached for the bacon, it was still his favourite food, and thought about the past week or so. It had been a weird week, for him anyway.

More than a bit weird, actually. It was like nothing had changed yet everything had changed. Which didn't make any sense but Severus really couldn't make sense of anything at the minute.

The Marauders walked past and although they didn't wave or anything, neither did they pull faces at him or say something sarcastic. They didn't even acknowledge him. Had he mentioned that that was weird? It actually made him feel on edge, like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Because there was always another shoe to drop. Were they going to lull him into a false sense of security and then BANG something was going to happen? It hadn't so far but the Marauders could play a long game sometimes. Though he found himself hoping that this wasn't the case.

Then of course with the word also came the bad. He and Lily still weren't on speaking terms. Well, he didn't know that because he was pretty sure that Lily was avoiding him. Not that he could say for certain because he was trying to give her space. As much as he disliked it.

That was something that he had to fix but he didn't know where to go from here. The ball was in Lily's court. He couldn't do anything until she processed everything and made a decision.

He chewed on his bacon, frown deepening. She was taking an awful long time.

Wednesday 30th June 1976

Hogwarts Express, Hogsmeade Station, 11:00

"Hey."

Lily poked her head through the carriage door.

"Hi," Chryssie replied, looking up from her book she had already got out. "Need something?"

That got her a head shake. Lily sort of hovered awkwardly in the doorway. Lily was never awkward.

"What's up?"

It looked like she wanted to say something but didn't know how. What had Lily got to be worried about?

"Do you mind if I sit with you for the ride home?"

Chryssie blinked. That certainly wasn't what she had been expecting.

"Sure."

There was no way she was going to deny Lily that. Even though the request was a bit odd. Did that mean she hadn't made up with Severus? But what about Marlene? Her other friends? Surely there were lots of people she could sit with?

Chryssie was about to ask her just that when Dora fell into the carriage, her trunk sliding past her and down the corridor.

"Um. Hi," he currently purple haired friend greeted sheepishly.

"Honestly, Dora," Chryssie tutted, going out into the corridor to grab her friend's trunk before it ended up in another carriage.

"Sorry."

King's Cross Station, 16:10

"Lily! Chryssie!" Rosemary Evans exclaimed upon seeing her daughters.

"Mum!" both girls went in return.

The Evans' were all soon exchanging hugs and Lily and Chryssie gratefully put their trunks on the ground. Sure, they had featherlight chairs on them but they were still very unwieldy. Lily didn't know how many times she had bashed her shins on hers.

"Where's daddy?" asked Lily, looking around.

Their father most definitely wasn't there.

"Trying to find a parking space," Rosemary said with an eye roll. "The place is packed."

"We're probably going to reach him as soon as he's found one," Chryssie observed.

They all laughed at that. It felt a bit weird to laugh. Like her mouth muscles were all stiff.

"Oh, look, there's Severus," Rosemary said, pointing across the platform and then waving.

Lily looked over but didn't wave. Oh, she wasn't trying to be rude or anything, she just didn't want him to come over. Things were still a bit awkward and she didn't want to make that worse. She wouldn't know what to say to him anyway.

Severus wasn't even looking at them. He was walking alongside his mother with his trunk. Neither of them looked like they were talking much or particularly pleased to see each other. Actually, Lily didn't think she had ever seen a smile on Mrs Snape's face. Which was kind of sad. Imagine having nothing to smile about.