Remember Me

Chapter Eleven: I Needed You

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Lisa and Ben tossed and turned all throughout the night as their memories came back to them in forms of dreams. Lisa jolted in her bed the next morning, gasping heavily as the memories became more vivid and real. It was as if she was living those moments all over again. She tried to catch her breath to calm down when a scream came from Ben's room. Lisa's eyes widened. She pushed the blankets off her and bolted out of bed, down the hallway to Ben's room to see him jumping out of bed.

"Ben! What is it?" She asked once she reached his room. She feared it was the very thing Dean hunted.

"Mom, what is going on?" Ben questioned with tears filling his eyes as he ran his fingers through his hair. Lisa wrapped her son in her arms as she sobbed into her chest. "I am so confused."

"I am too, baby." Lisa admitted, trying to hold the tears back. She gently pulled away from her son and looked him in his watery eyes. "I think we need to call Dean."

Sam and Dean had reached Fort Wayne when Sam convinced his brother to get a hotel room for the night. Dean had obviously tried to fight his brother on it, but he knew deep down they had been exhausted and neither of them were fit to drive any longer. Sighing in defeat, Dean pulled in and got a room for the two of them. He awoke early the next morning to get a head start and to hit the road. He didn't want any form of temptation to bring him back to Cicero where he wasn't welcome. He packed his bag again and zipped it up as Sam began waking up.

"Rise and shine, Sammy." Dean said in a monotonous tone. "We need to get going."

"What's the rush, Dean?" Sam questioned as he sat himself up in bed. Dean glanced at his brother, then pulled his jacket on.

"There are things that need to be hunted."

"Like what?"

Dean paused. "I'll find something. Let's go." Dean grabbed his bag and began heading out the door when his phone began to ring. He looked back at his brother with a devious grin on his face. "Maybe that's a case now." He placed his bag back on the bed and pulled his phone out of his pocket and read the name.

Lisa.

His stopped breathing as he read the name. His heart raced nervously. Was Lisa calling to tell him to come back.

"Dean?" Sam questioned. "Who is it?"

Dean drew in a deep breath and answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Dean?" Lisa's voice trembled on the other end of the call.

"Yeah?"

"Where are you?"

"Fort Wayne, leaving Indiana here in a little while."

"Can you come back?"

Dean stopped. "What?"

"Dean, we need you to come back. We need to talk to you."

"I thought you didn't want me to come back until I got my story straight?"

Lisa sighed heavily on the other end. "Dean, we remember. We remember everything and I need you."

With no hesitation, Dean responded. "On my way." He hung up the phone and snapped at Sam. "Get up, get dressed. Now."

"Why?" Sam asked. "What's going on?"

"Lisa needs me."

The two headed on the road back to Cicero. Dean never thought he would be going back so soon, let alone hearing from Lisa so soon. He began to wonder what the hell happened that made them remember. He glanced at his little brother who was in the passenger seat, keeping his eyes on the road, then it hit him. Sam and Castiel.

Dean placed his foot on the brake of the Impala and pulled over. Sam gave him a confused look as Dean placed the car in park and drew in a deep breath before turning to face his brother.

"Dean, what's going on?" Sam asked.

"How does Ben and Lisa remember everything, Sam?" Dean questioned. Sam shrugged his shoulders as innocently as he could, hoping his brother would believe him just this once and drop it but these were the Winchesters. One was always lying to the other about something and one never believed the other.

Dean sighed. "Sammy.." His voice was gentle.

"Okay, maybe I told Cas to give them their memories back." Sam admitted. Dean shook his head as he sighed heavily.

"Dammit Sam!" He exclaimed before climbing out of the car. He slammed the door shut causing Sam to jump in his seat. Sam followed his brother and watched silently as Dean walked around the car, rubbing his hands through his hair.

"Sammy, you shouldn't have done that."

"It was going to cause more problems if we didn't, Dean!" Sam exclaimed, defending his actions.

"And what am I supposed to tell them? Oh yeah, some demon possessed you, stabbed you, and I had to figure out a way for you to be safe so I made an angel of the Lord forget your memories!" Dean huffed loudly. Sam gave his brother a soulful look.

"I'm sorry, Dean. Okay? I crossed the line."

"You're damn right, you crossed the line. This wasn't your decision to make." Dean leaned against the Impala and placed his head on the top of the car, his arms cradling his head.

"I'm sorry, Dean." Sam's spoke gently as he placed his hand on his brother's shoulder. "I just thought that if they knew, then maybe you could be happy." Dean lifted his head up.

"Sam, I will never be happy. Because, if they know me and love me, then I am putting them at risk. But then again if they don't know me and love me, I have to deal with that. Either way, I won't be happy, Sammy. We aren't meant to be happy with the lives we live."

"Shouldn't we, though?" Sam asked. Dean shook his head as he tried to regain his composure.

"Let's just go and get this over with." He mumbled as he opened the door to the Impala and slowly climbed in. The tires peeled along the gravel as he took off towards their destination. The drive was short and when Dean had arrived back at the Braedon's, he drew in deep breath as he turned the Impala off. Lisa had been inside the house pacing along the living room. She heard the familiar sound of the Impala pull up outside and her heart began to race. She glanced out the window to see Sam and Dean slowly exiting the car. She ran to the front door, drew in a deep breath, regained her composure, and opened it. She stepped outside and watched as the boys slowly approached the house. All Lisa wanted to do in that moment was run up to him, wrap her arms around his body and kiss him, but she wasn't sure what was going on and knew that wouldn't be the smartest decision. Dean shoved his hands in his jeans pockets as he met her face to face.

"Hey Lisa." Sam greeted in a gentle voice.

"Hi Sam." Lisa felt it was strange that at some point in time she had no idea who this man was, she couldn't even remember him the night before, but now as he stood in front of her, she knew who he was. Lisa's eyes jumped from Sam's gentle eyes to Dean's heartbroken eyes.

"Dean." She sounded almost breathless.

"Hey Lis." Dean's voice trembled as he tried to fight back the tears. They gnawed at his eyes and the back of his throat felt like it was closing up on him.

"Shall we move inside?" Lisa suggested.

"Yeah."

The three slowly moved to inside the house where Ben awaited on the couch. He slowly got up to his feet, his eyes never leaving Dean's as they all moved to inside the living room. Ben and Lisa sat side by side on the couch. Dean sat next to them, but making sure to give them space while Sam sat on a separate chair. Dean cleared his throat as he and his brother traded glances.

"So, you remember?" Dean began.

"It's strange. I remember seeing both of you last night but not knowing who you were and now I know exactly who you are and everything we've been through." Lisa explained.

"I knew I was missing something, but I couldn't be sure." Ben added.

"Yeah, I know you must be confused."

"Very." Lisa and Ben said together, their voices blending.

"I can explain." Sam spoke up.

"Please do." Lisa said, moving her eyes from Dean to Sam.

"Dean didn't want any of this to happen." Sam began as Dean watched him intently. Sam's eyes remained on Ben and Lisa but he could feel his brother watching him. "He wanted you two to live a happy and safe life, but being with him unfortunately, it wasn't possible."

"I remember..." Lisa said softly, placing her hand on her stomach where she had been stabbed.

"He wanted you two to be safe but without hurting you so our friend Castiel, an angel of the Lord, he scrubbed your memories. That way you can live a happy, safe life without Dean without all the heartbreak."

Lisa's tear filled eyes moved from Sam to Dean and she could see his own eyes welling with tears. Ben had grabbed his mother's hand at some point while Sam was speaking. Dean's eyes were glued to the floor, but he could feel Lisa looking at him.

"I was the one who convinced Castiel to give you your memories back and I am sorry."

"Dean?" Lisa's voice trembled. With sorrowful eyes, Dean looked up at her. "Is this true?"

"Yeah Lis, it is."

Lisa got up from the couch and slowly approached him. Dean noticed and got to his feet as well. They stood face to face, mere inches from one another, just staring into each other's heartbroken eyes.

"Why would you do that?" Lisa asked. Dean gently caressed her face in his hands and gave her a small smile.

"I needed you and Ben to be safe and with you two being with me, you would never be safe. There would always be something coming for you because of me and I couldn't take that risk. I couldn't hurt both you and Ben like I did several times before. This was the only way."

"I loved you, Dean." The tears were flowing from her eyes down her cheeks now as she spoke to him. "I needed you more than anything."

"I'm sorry." Dean took his hand away from Lisa's face and backed away from her. "It's probably for the best if we never see each other again." Dean could feel the damage he was causing himself. It made him sick to his stomach to say those dreaded words.

"Did you love us?" Ben asked, speaking up. Lisa looked at her son then back at Dean. He gave Ben a small smile and a light hearted chuckle.

"More than anything." Dean admitted. He looked back at Lisa. "I'm so sorry for the pain I caused you, but I think it's best we go our separate ways." He quickly placed a light kiss on Lisa's forehead before he hurried out the door. He didn't want the temptation of staying and ruining their lives more. He closed the door behind him and let the tears overtake him.

This was a new form of heartbreak Dean never wanted to experience.