Jay 6
"You have got to start taking to us, kid. I know you aren't too fond of us at the moment, but when it comes to your wellbeing you can't keep secrets." Chris scolded calmly once I was calm enough to step out of his embrace.
"You were heading straight towards a panic attack." King agreed. "Why not say something instead?"
"Not to mention that you only made your punishment worse because you panicked instead of speaking up."
I ducked my head and refused to answer, but felt my ears burn in response to their scolding. I had in fact only made it worse for myself by not admitting that I was scared of the belt.
"As I said, " Chris continued, grabbing my chin and forcing it upwards with his hand, "I would have handled it completely differently if I would have known. We would have talked through it first and I think you at some level knew that. So why?"
"I don't know."
"You do know." King corrected me firmly.
"I just didn't want you guys to know or think you have to baby me because of it." I finally told them, the words rushing out of me. I tried to shake his grip of my face but he only tightened his hold ever so slightly.
"You didn't want us to think less of you?" Chris asked with a frown. "That's just ridiculous."
"That's how I felt." I protested, feeling the anger flare back to life within me. What right did Chris have to ridicule my feelings?!
"Calm down." Chris squeezed my upper arm firmly with the hand that didn't hold onto my chin. "Take a deep breath and think through my words again."
I started to protest, but Chris's look had me snapping my mouth shut.
"What I meant was that you never have to think that anything will make us think less of you Jay. We should have known; your brother was in the same boat when we first took him under our wing. But it's been so long that neither of us remembered that Will wasn't accustomed to anything but a bare hand either."
"Mom and Dad never use anything else."
"I can respect that. That's their way. But I have another view on it and they gave their permission years ago to treat your brother like our own, just as they did with you the other day."
"He never told me."
"I don't see why he would have. Once it's over with we don't typically bring it up again."
"And from what I've witnessed and heard from Will, you and your Dad have a great relationship that is built on a strong sense of respect. He barely has to say a word to keep you in line."
A sudden ringing saved me from answering and I gratefully fished up my phone from my pocket, the name on the display catching me by surprise.
"Hi Dad." I greeted as I accepted the video call.
"Hi kiddo, how are you doing?" It was awkward talking to him with both King and Chris in the room overhearing everything, but I couldn't exactly ask them to leave so I settled for turning my back towards them.
"Okay." I shrugged and the wrinkle between his brows deepened.
"Jason. The truth please."
"I don't know. It's hard to describe. And King and Chris are here." I hurried to say before we could get too deep into our conversation.
"Hi Pat." King called out and I turned the phone towards him.
"King. It's nice to see you again, even if it's thanks to technology. And thankyou for what you are doing for Jay. Laura and I both appreciate you and Chris stepping in. Sorry again for not being able to join our planned meeting, something came up last minute."
"No thanks needed. You know the kid is like a little brother to me." Chris replied. "Hi Pat, are you doing okay?"
"I'm fine thank you. How about I call the two you later to have a chat? I think me and Jay need to have words first." The wording made my stomach make nervous flips, but I dutifully turned the screen back towards me. "Is there a place where we can talk just the two of us?"
"My…the room I'm staying in." My Dad gave me knowing look, but didn't comment until I was seated against the headboard.
"Now how have you really been?" I hesitated, not sure how to describe it. In the end I settled for shrugging lightly and asking instead:
"Have you talked to Will?"
"You mean; have Will told me everything? I doubt so. I've been rather busy with the assignment we've been working on and I've only gotten to talk to him for less than ten minutes. Besides, I want to hear it from you."
"How much do you know?" I pressed, not content with not knowing what I could leave out. His brows furrowed in a disapproving way.
"Your brother mentioned that you had developed some not so impressive habits while I've been away, but we didn't get to go into details. Now I have a feeling I know what he meant. Since when are you even contemplating lying to me?" The tone of voice wasn't just disappointed, disapproving and stern but also a tad hurt.
"Sorry." I tore my gaze away from my dad's, focusing on the blue bedspread kicked to the foot end of my bed instead. I was actually a little surprised that Chris or King hadn't gotten onto me for that yet or my lack of willingness to help out with anything that wasn't stacking my used plates and cups into the sink. But there was no time dwelling over that now.
"Look at me Jason Patrick." His voice was calm, but it still took all of my willpower to shift my gaze back to meet his and when I did, I broke into silent tears at the look in his eyes.
"I'm sorry. I really am." I sniffled. "It's just been a lot and I'm sorry."
"Thankyou for your apology. I can understand that, but you don't lie to me Jason, you know that."
"I know, I won't do it again." I sniffled loudly, wiping at the few tears that had escaped.
"Calm down, son. You're forgiven." With that I knew the topic was closed and could take a deep breath. I really didn't do well with disappointing my father. "You already know that I'm going to talk to Chris and King later so this is your chance to tell me anything and everything that I should hear from you first. And so that you don't fear to tell me; anything that Chris or King has handled I won't. I might have a few chosen words about it, but I won't punish you further. Okay?"
"Okay." I replied in a small voice, steeling myself for the next few minutes of me rattling of everything I had done wrong the past few days.
"Go on then, son. I'll try not to interrupt you too much."
"This is why I wanted to know how much you knew." I couldn't help but mutter. "Now you'll have to hear everything twice."
"Do we need to have a talk about respect once I get back?" Dad's voice was as calm as always, but there was a warning edge to it that had me swallowing my attitude fast.
"No sir, sorry"
"See to it then that you keep a hold of yourself." He nodded for me to finally start listing everything.
"I guess the main thing is that I didn't listen too good. I tried, I really did, Dad. But I was hurt and angry so that clouded my judgement a few times."
"A few?"
"Maybe more." I admitted. "That's why I was hesitant to promise you to listen to them. I knew how hard it would be. Although that was probably the only reason, I didn't take off my first night here."
"If you did I would have been on the first plane out of here so I would count myself lucky if I were you, that you did not."
"I guess you already knew that King handled me taking of the first time."
"The first?"
"Can I tell you later? I don't think I can jump too much between the days without forgetting something." I pleaded, hoping to keep that story away from his ears for a few more minutes.
"As long as you tell me in the end, that's fine. And yes, I did know that he would. Was it the first time he has spanked you?"
"Yeah. Chris has before, but not King."
"Did he hug you afterwards? I remember Will telling me he's a big hugger."
"He tried to, but I wouldn't let him."
"Oh kiddo."
"Anyways." I continued, wanting to escape that conversation at the very least. "I tried my hand at lying to him."
"How did that go?"
I grimaced at the memory of what that had led to.
"I take it by your face that King wasn't too happy about it."
"No, he wasn't. That led to him telling me his and Chris's reason for staying away the past few years. Which is the reason I took off the second time"
"To where?"
"A bar on North East Boulevard." I reluctantly shared.
"Did you drink?" Dad's voice had dropped an octave lower which wasn't a good sign for me.
"Three sips. Chris and his friends busted me and he handled both parts of the night. He even spanked me with a belt for drinking."
"How did you get your hands on any alcohol at all?"
"Fake ID. But I've never used it before, I swear."
"Jason Patrick Halsteadt."
"I know. It was dangerous and stupid."
"You can say that again." The silence fell for a moment before Dad continued: "It was your first encounter with a belt as far as I know." he commented, his expression softening slightly.
"Yeah, I didn't tell him, so I almost had a panic attack before King figured it out."
"Jay, please tell me you don't have any more confessions to make. At least none that include your wellbeing."
"Not exactly, I've been disrespectful towards Will though."
"Have you apologized?"
"Not yet." His eyes almost burned a hole through the screen. "I will." I hastily tacked on.
"Make sure that you do. How many times have King taken you in hand?"
"Twice."
"And Chris?"
"He split up the drinking adventure into two so twice."
"Has Will taken you in hand?"
"When this all started, yes, and he gave me a few swats earlier." I admitted.
"He hasn't spanked you for your disrespectfulness?"
"No."
"Why?"
"I've mostly done it over the phone." I tentatively answered.
"Why do I feel like I need to write a list of all the things you and I are going to discuss in the near future?!"
"King and Chris has already handled most things." I protested meekly.
"I know, and as I said, I will respect that. I really don't want you to have to be scared of my homecoming, kid. But there is just no way that I can let all of this go without at least a proper talking to."
"I know Dad." He took a deep breath and gave me a small smile before continuing:
"Okay then, on to far more important things; how are you really feeling?"
"Lost, naked, embarrassed, regretful, stressed."
"Anything I can do to help?"
"Just talk to me. I miss you."
"I miss you too kiddo. I'm going to try to push to come home earlier, but I don't know if I'll be able to."
"You don't have to." I didn't even sound convincing to my own ears.
"I think I do. Now why do you feel lost?"
"Same reason I feel naked. I've told them everything."
"Good boy." Dad praised and I felt my insides get warm.
"It wasn't exactly by choice." I pointed out.
"Maybe not, but you still did it. Why are you stressed?"
"You wont like the reason behind it."
"Tell me anyway."
"King and Chris have made a rule about my 'stone face' as Will calls it and I have to spend all afternoons Mom is working at the office with them."
"So you are stressed about keeping up a charade they already know is fake?"
"Something like that, yeah." There was a sudden background noise and Dad muted the call temporarily.
"I'm really sorry kiddo but I have to go." He announced once he unmuted the call again.
"Be safe. I love you."
"I will kiddo, and try to not get into any more trouble for a while, okay?"
"Okay, I'll try. Bye."
"By kiddo, love you." I stared at the dark screen for a long moment after hanging up, before curling into a ball and wondering if my day possibly could become any worse.
-Finding a way-
"Homework time." Chris announced cheerfully as he knocked on the door and poked his head inside just moments later. Far too early for my liking.
"You don't have to be cheerful about it." I complained.
"And you shouldn't need an attitude adjustment this early." Chris stepped fully into the room and I could see his gaze sweeping over the mess that was currently my room. "You are not a pig. This gets cleaned up before bedtime, understood?"
"Yes." I muttered.
"Good. Do you want to do your homework in here or downstairs?"
"I don't feel like company, so here,"
"Though, cause I'm not going anywhere." To seemingly prove his point Chris leaned against the wall next to the desk and held out my schoolbag for me. "Math seems to be what you struggle most with right now, so why don't we start there?"
"Brilliant idea." I responded sarcastically and took the bag out of his hand as if it was poisonous. Reluctantly I unzipped it and threw my math book and my supplies onto the desk before dropping my bag onto the floor with a thud. I went to sit down on the desk chair but was halted by Chris's hand.
"Try again."
"What? Why?"
"Because you need to treat your school materials with more respect than trash you are throwing out. I think you are well aware that somebody else will have that textbook next year, whether it's ripped and damaged or not."
I sighed but threw out my hands in a 'fine' gesture and picked up the book and put it back down gently in an overly dramatic way just to piss Chris off.
"Happy?"
"Very. Two, Jason."
"What? You haven't even said one!" I protested heatedly, glaring straight at him.
"I told you to lose your attitude, that was warning number one. A warning you did not listen to. This display of attitude was number two." I continued glaring at him, but Chris didn't back down only pointed meaningfully at my desk.
"Fine."
"I just had an extensive conversation with your math teacher and she has emailed me a list of the things she feels that you need to catch up on." Chris handed me a print out of an email that had me grimacing at the length of the list it contained. "Plus, the new stuff they went through today."
"Oh yeah, it's Monday." I had completely lost track of the days. "They must have wondered where I was."
"Your Mom called the school and explained the situation. Your teachers have all noticed your lack of work ethic and motivation as of late and were more than happy to send your homework. I think some of them still remember us stepping in with Will and the difference it made for his studies."
"How fun." I responded dryly. I was so on board with my teachers knowing what was going on in my private life. "I might as well not go back at all if they are that happy about getting rid of me for a day."
"A week." Chris corrected me.
"I'm not going at all this week? Why?" I might not like school much, but anything was better than being around King and Chris for 24 hours a day.
"Because we need to spend the time getting reacquainted with each other. You are going back to school when King and I feel like we are at least 80% on the same page as you."
"That's not fair!"
"Are you missing something important?"
"Yes."
"Enlighten me then, wat could be more important than straightening out our relationship and you learning to trust to us again?"
"My education for starters."
"I'm going to help you with that."
"My friends." The few I had left, but still.
"That's interesting. Considering you don't want to talk about them, that is."
"It's none of your business that's why." I spat out getting angry.
"Three Jason. Watch yourself. I would suggest that you get started on your assignments before you dig yourself in deeper. I'm going to go get a glass of water and a snack. Please use the time to reign in your temper. I really don't want to have to spank you more than once today."
"You should take his advice." Came a sudden voice from the doorway when I picked up the math book to throw across the room.
"I didn't ask for your opinion."
Will whistled lowly, stepping into the room fully.
"I can't remember you having lemons for breakfast. What's going on?"
"What's not going on?" I asked with a sigh, putting down the book again. There was no use throwing it now that Will was there to tattle on me.
"That's some attitude. Want to tell me about it?"
"Not particularly, no."
"Is it school?"
"No. School's fine."
"Your friends giving you a hard time?"
"No. I haven't told them what's going yet. Hadn't planned on doing it either, but Chris just told me that I'm not going to school for the rest of the week."
"So, is that the problem?"
"Yeah." Will gave me an unimpressed look.
"You suck at lying, did you know that?"
"I've fooled you enough times, haven't I?"
"What's really going on, Jay?"
"Nothing."
"Of course. Nothing's ever going on with you." Will dragged a hand across his face in what I had by now dubbed a Chris-gesture by how many times I had seen him do it. "Okay. How about this? You tell me what's really going on and I'll tell you everything you want to know about my freshman year in college?"
"You mean when you defied all the adults in your life?"
"Yeah. That one."
I thought about it for a moment. Maybe confiding in Will wouldn't be such a bad idea. Especially not if I got a story of my mostly perfect brother
"I spoke to Dad. It kind of reminded me of exactly how much of a screw up I am nowadays."
"What did Dad say?"
"Funnily enough he didn't take it too bad. The worst was the drinking part and being disrespectful to you. I'm sorry by the way. I know I've been abusing the fact that you can't do much about it from New York."
"Did Dad tell you to apologize?"
"He wanted me to yeah, but I heard you defending me to Chris and King and have been feeling bad about how I have treated you lately since so I was planning to do so anyway."
"Apology accepted. I'm always here for you, you know that right? I might be a hard ass at times, but the bottom line is that you are my little brother and I'd do anything for you."
"I know. Same."
"So, if Dad wasn't that upset what was it then?"
"A combination of Chris dealing with me, he used his belt, the talk with Dad that got cut short and then Chris storming in here demanding I pick up my room and do my homework. The fact that I won't be back in school until next week was just the icing on the cake."
"Chris used his belt?!" Will looked ready to storm downstairs to look for him right then and there.
"He said he's used it on you before too."
"He has, but you are younger and you've only just gotten reacquainted with them. He shouldn't have."
"He didn't know I hadn't ever-you know-before King figured it out after I almost gave myself a panic attack before the first lick."
"How many?" Will's jaw was set tight and I could see that he still wasn't happy about it. I felt a surge of affection over his protectiveness.
"Four." I blushed. "Cried like a little kid too."
"You think I don't?"
"I haven't really thought about it."
"I'm still going to have words with our big brother, but that can wait."
"I just want it to be over with."
"Understandable, but you won't change my mind. Now what do you want to know?"
"Everything and anything to not have to deal with this." I made a sweeping gesture towards my math book and Will gave a short laugh, wrapping an arm around my shoulders with a gentle squeeze.
"I think that can be arranged."
A/N: Hope you liked it! I'm thinking of writing a separate story of Will's troubles in New York if anybody would be interested? And as always comments are really appreciated and make my day. Be safe out there and have a great day.