Hello. Thanks for continuing to read. This is a two-parter... I'm not sure exactly when I will get to the second part but it will come. I thought this was a great way to showcase this boy's life and his struggles also piece together some missing parts. Let me know if you need clarification on any parts and I can revise.
*I apologize for any grammatical or comprehension errors. Please let me know if I need to fix them.
Disclaimer: I do not own any Love Live School Project characters
Chapter 5 - Yuki Megumi's Diary: First Encounter
After the grave visit, the girls loaded into the cars and headed back to the Nishikino household. The girls went to their homes to freshen up and prepare for the brooding effect of reading a diary from a dead young boy. Hours went by, the girls finished any homework they had to do and collect their thoughts. Around 7 pm (19:00) they met at Maki's once again but this time Tsubasa and her gang were invited. Earlier on, Eli took a phone call and it was Erena from Arise explaining the relationship between Honoka and Tsubasa in a deeper manner. Erena was only looking out for her friend and member because Tsubasa had seemed to not have taken the news very well.
Tsubasa felt betrayed and hurt but, she discovered what her true feelings were for Honoka. The emptiness and pain of this late realization kept her awake at night while silently crying towards the moon as if she would help her to quell the raging bleeding wound that was imprinted. This story was about Honoka and her friends, she had no place but Tsubasa couldn't accept that.
Eli asked Maki for permission for them to come. It was difficult to house that many people at once even though their house was big though Maki being smart, she made arrangements beforehand. Honoka's parents wanted to come as well to see if this would help find their daughter. They initially thought it would be a good idea to give it to the police but, if they did, they knew they would never see it again and the case would be forever lost. They made a decision that this would be only for the 13 girls' ears and Maki's mother's ears. Infringement and withholding information was serious crimes but at this point, law enforcement wasn't helping and they were not making any improvement in finding Honoka. Honoka's parents had a better understanding that her friends were making more improvements than what the officers were making. Justified or not, they were not letting this opportunity pass.
They all were greeted by the maids and moved into one of their conference rooms that were made for private hospital meetings and business deals. The high school girls felt anxious being in this sort of room because they have not been exposed to such an environment. The college girls felt indifferent because their lecture halls were much larger than this. There were beverages and food out because they knew that this was fairly important and that they were going to be questions and discussion after this.
"Alright. As we get settled, I want to mention again that this will not leave this room. If you discuss this outside, I can't stop you, but I will say that these are the wishes from myself and Honoka's family." Maki's mother announced while everyone was taking a seat. All of them nodded in agreement. They were exactly 16 seats. 8 seats for the ex-idol members, 2 for Yukiho and Arisa, 3 for the Arise members, and 3 for the parents.
Honoka's mother stood up and cleared her voice with a slight sound, "Thank you again, girls. I know that this isn't easy for any of you but I really appreciate the fact that you went this far. I remember the story about Yuki Megumi and how Honoka at that time look so far away. I thought it was because they were the same age and she felt a connection but I understand that I didn't know my daughter at all." She sat down and the girls bowed their heads while sitting to show respect.
It was set before that Erena would read the inserts because of the lack of connection she has with Honoka and her strong voice. They gave her a headset because of obvious reasons and water. She waited for everyone to get comfortable. It seemed odd for her to do this but she felt like she needed to for Tsubasa.
Erena grabbed the diary and noticed that it was withered, faded, and crumbly. The pages seemed like water had dropped on the pages as this person was writing his heart out. "Alright, I will go ahead and start reading. I look a tad bit ahead and there are parts where it smudged so I wasn't able to make it out. Are we all ready?" Erena looked around and slight nods were telling her that it was okay. She took a deep breath and with the first sound that came out of the microphone, she began.
Yuki Megumi Diary: First Person
I wouldn't consider this a diary but more as a journal to save face as a man. Though at this point I can't really consider myself a man because I'm 8. People are surprised that I am able to read and write as fluently as I can. Well, they don't know that I was forced to learn by my poor excuse of a mother. She would stand over me with a ruler and slap my hands with it until I got the questions correct. By the end of a lesson, the back of my hands and shoulders would be bleeding. She told me she did it out of love but I know she did it because she wanted me to get revenge on my father. If I was smarter than him, made more money, and became something, she would have bested him and made him feel guilty that he left her for that woman. Sarah is her name. I don't have many opinions about her. I made her think I hated her because if I did, the punishment that my mother would give would be more unbearable than they already are.
Sarah gave my father a new life. Of course, I disliked her in the beginning because she took away my father. The only reason I was able to live. My mother would be so cruel to both of us. When I was 5 or so, when my father told my mother that he was leaving her for another woman, she strapped him down and did unspeakable things to him to make him desire her. Cruel. I saw his eyes become so dark and empty that I was worried that he would kill himself right then and there. He eventually got away and ran without looking back. In an anime, you would probably see a scene where the woman is crying in the background and the man is walking out with his hat covering his face. His jacket whisked behind him in the wind making him look like the bad guy and making the woman look like the victim. That day I thought I was going to get killed. My mother destroyed the house's interior by throwing pictures of them, plates, glasses, and anything she could at me. She told me that she hated looking at me because I had my father's eyes. The eyes that thirst for more, sought virtue, forgiveness, and other happiness.
Sarah was half American and Japanese but grew up in Japan. She is pretty to say in the least. She seems complete. Based on observation, she has a complex about being half American and Japanese, but my father loves that about her. I don't know if it was because he didn't want another Japanese woman or if he just fell in love with this woman because she is loving and sympathetic. I know she hated my mother which means she is not afraid and she'll fight for me. I want it. The family I desired and dreamed about but the woman that is my biological mother won't simply give me up. I won't let her destroy my father's happiness again so I need to do this… I need to. Sarah, I'm sorry.
Date: May 18th XXXX
A week has passed and the court has denied custody to my father. They're awful. Blind. I know that I wrote that I wanted to stay with my mother to keep them happy but, everything is getting worse. She's killing herself and killing me little by little. Her hands are getting rougher and rougher as time goes on. She is able to keep the house because of child support. Our neighbors are making the matters worse because you can hear their whispers at night when the sun is gone and only the sounds that are bouncing off the walls are not laughter, it is criticism and spite. After the court, she celebrated with several bottles of liquor and beers. Because I wasn't old enough to buy them, she pushed me against the wall and shouted at me to grow up and be a man. What does being a man mean?
Date: June 18th XXXX
These kids at the playground make me upset. They run from their parents when they tell them it's time to go home and they shout that they hate them. You don't understand what hate is you freaking brats. My mother's pass time and playground time is full of whipping me with belts and sticks. As an elementary student my grades are impeccable, my reading level is as a high schooler, and I have the communication skills of a working adult; not those that are useless like my mother. My birthday is in a couple of weeks and school starts soon as well. How unlucky I am… It's probably going to play out like this; I have to hide a new bruise and my teachers will start yelling at me while calling me disrespectful. They'll call my mother and she'll show up apologizing for my rudeness and the teachers won't realize they have just made it harder for me to show up.
Date: June 25th XXXX
Mother hit me on the side of the neck. My throat is on fire. Note to self, don't talk when she is in the middle of drinking.
Date: June 27th XXXX
Rule 2: Walk quietly around the house or expect to get hit on the side of the head with a glass cup.
Date: June 30th XXXX
Birthday: 9 years old.
Date: August 11th XXXX
School started. The prediction is not a prediction anymore. She came to my school bowing her head to the teacher that complained about my inappropriate school attire. I had to hide the bruise that I got a couple of weeks ago and this was the only way. When I got home, I was greeted with a clout to the side of the head and ongoing forms of nausea. I was disoriented and felt as if I was to throw up. "What is wrong with you!?" She screamed. I could only go on my knees and feel the blood dripping from my ear.
Date: August 22nd XXXX
I have to visit my father and Sarah today. My ear still hurts but I can't make it seem like anything is wrong. My father looks healthy. He smiles at that woman. Sarah is taller than my mother and much prettier. I can't help but compare them, I'm sorry Sarah. They attempted to celebrate my birthday by giving me presents. Presents? Why? What did I deserve to get presents? Is this your way of telling me you're sorry? I don't need them. I know you mean best but I can't even take them back. Don't make me hate you more than I already do. So, I declined. Is that weird for a 9-year-old to decline a present like an adult trying to be considerate? I know they think I am saying this because I hate them… Well, I do but that's not the only reason, she mustn't find out. If she does, I don't know what will happen and I don't want to find out.
Date: October 2nd XXXX
Rule #3: School Projects are for fools and children. My mother decided to teach her own lesson to me.
Date: November 14th XXXX
The air is getting colder. Exams are coming up. My mother said if I didn't get number 1 in the school, I would be without food for a week.
Date: December 2nd XXXX
I got 2nd. Shit. I got home and my mother was sitting in her drinking chair. I looked at her with a heavy heart and thundering anxiety. I kept whispering to myself, "You can handle it. A punch, kick, a baleful impact… Nothing you haven't been through. Unconsciously, I teared up and then the next thing I know I was waking up in a puddle that reeked of alcohol and blood. My vision was blurry and everything hurt. I touched the side of my head and dry blood was crusted onto me. I looked around and noticed my mother was still sitting in the damn chair. She told me, "Clean it up." It looks like I was thrown towards the wall and she shattered her bottle of beer and drenched me in it. My brain wasn't functioning right. I felt heavy. Am I drunk?
Date: April 3rd XXXX
Midterm tests are coming up. Get my crap together.
Date: April 20th XXXX
Rule #4: It doesn't matter if you get to number 1, you'll still be a failure.
Date: April 21st XXXX
Sarah got me an ice cream cone. It tasted really good. Vanilla. She said she was proud which made me act up. I'm sorry Sarah. I hurt her.
Date: June 17th XXXX
I made a friend. His name is Song-Jin. He is Korean and Japanese. He is a transfer student. I learned the language so I could help him with his Japanese and communicate with him. Korean isn't that hard once you get the hang of it.
Date: June 30th XXXX
Birthday: 10-years-old.
Date: August 11th XXXX
Song-Jin and I are in the same class. I studied Korean the entire summer. I am pretty fluent in it. The other kids make fun of us. They call me an extra Asian because I know two Asian languages. My teacher found it impressive that a 10-year-old can teach himself an entire language just because he puts his mind to it.
Date: September 24th XXXX
The school festival is this week. This is my first time going. Last one I didn't bother to show up because my mother made it impossible. It's pretty exciting.
Date: September 30th XXXX
I've never experienced the festival and it's amazing. Song-Jin and I hung out all day. Ate lots of food. I felt bad that he paid for all of it because I don't have any money. He said he didn't mind but I can tell he looks at me with sadness. I wonder if his parents know about me.
Date: December 24th XXXX
The concept of Christmas dawns over me. Why would a fat man give presents to children? I'm glad he isn't a racist but still. Song-Jin invited me to his home. I'm really nervous. I'm going to sneak out of my house knowing very well I will get punished or killed but I'm willing to take that chance. I haven't been hit recently so I'm good on bruises.
Date: December 25th XXXX
Their house is amazing. Filled with happiness. You can actually see the ground and natural light filling the house with bright colors and fresh smells. Mr. and Mrs. Jeon was really nice. I spoke Korean to them and they were so surprised when I told them I learned to speak Korean so I can communicate with Song-Jin. They thought I was a native speaker which flattered me. They asked about my parents and I lied. They gave each other a look. I knew I made my story was straight with Song-Jin… Oh no. I wonder if they have heard stories from my nosy neighbors. I smiled and went about eating. Their food was delicious too. It was Korean and Japanese. At home, I normally eat bread or ramen.
Date: December 26th XXXX
I went to the hospital. Hotaru, my mother was so mad. She told me I needed to be punished so she snapped my left arm in half. I'll spare myself from reliving the moments so I won't write how she did it but, it hurt.
Date: February 14th XXXX
Valentines' day. Gross. Girls leer at me because I'm dirty and gross. They're gross. Song-Jin is a naturally good-looking kid. He is actually older than I am by a year. Girls look at him with this weird stare which means they want something from him just like Hotaru does. Why are women like this? Sick.
Date: March 13th XXXX
Tests are coming up. Hotaru has been acting weird… She bought a bat. I was worried she was going to use it on me.
Date: April 3rd XXXX
I met with Sarah and my father. Apparently, I was acting differently. Sarah whispered to my father that my eyes were dark just like the day she met him. She knows too much. Hotaru won't like that… I need to keep Sarah in the dark.
Date: April 19th XXXX
Number 1. As I mentioned before, being number 1 doesn't matter. I can't go to school for a week now. Hotaru didn't like the fact that I didn't get 100s on everything so she made it clear on my skin that being number 1 with 100s IS everything.
Date: May 31st XXXX
Summer begins. The summer festival is coming. Fireworks are scary but beautiful. I want to go. Song-Jin asked me to attend. Can I roll the dice? Is Hotaru going to kill me this time for sneaking out? I don't know.
Date: June 30th XXXX
Birthday: 11 years old. Day of the festival. I'm really excited. We went and there were so many people. The display made me cry and feel almost as if I was alive. My throat felt so tight. Something was off… I didn't like it.
Date: July 1st XXXX
News read: 12-year-old half Korean and Japanese boy that went by the name Jeon Song-Jin was brutally murdered at 2 am.
Date: July 22nd XXXX
The funeral. I can't cry. I don't feel anything for him. I knew him when he was alive so why am I not able to feel anything. His parents… They wouldn't. They couldn't. I snuck out to go to the funeral. The people that mourned this boy didn't know him like I did. I stepped forward to see an empty casket. I pictured him in there and nothing made sense anymore. An adult came forward and started yelling at me that a child should not be here because I am tainting the soul of the dead. I tried to tell them I was his friend but none of the adults believed me and none of the classmates that came would voucher. What did I do to deserve this? I was nice to him… I cared for him as my friend… I… I… He was my only friend. Why? Then, I overheard by one of my classmates' mothers that Song-Jin was killed with a bat. I rose my head from my hands and the realization slowly took over my emotions. Anger and hatred filled my tiny body. Why am I a child? Why must I feel this way? Is this how life will treat me forever? Everything is meaningless.
Date: July 30th XXXX
The arrested and accused are his mother and father. Reason: for being number 2 in his school studies and sneaking out. Their plea: Not guilty. Verdict: Guilty. Updated News: They found a way to kill themselves… They broke out of jail while yelling they were going to get whoever killed their son. They were cornered and the father lunged towards the police officer. He managed to get the gun so he turned around and shot his wife and then shot himself while saying the words, "you will meet your feat… Faceless demon."
Erena teared up. With that being a clear indication, they all took a break. This diary was nothing but heartbreaking. This boy's life was a living hell. The way his life was, he was forced to accelerate his thinking process and his ability to act like an adult. He observed others and analyzed people so they wouldn't get hurt. At some point, he stopped calling his mother, mother, but by her name. After everyone collected themselves quietly and took care of their needs such as hunger, hygiene, or just needed to process the information, the third member of Arisa, Anju, went ahead picked it up from the last point because Erena verbalized that felt that she wasn't able to continue.
Date: July 31st XXXX
After confronting that blasted woman, I clutched my stomach for dear life. I felt like I was dying. Blood and bile were mixing together. It wouldn't stop. My vision was blurry and hazy. The doctors were putting an IV in my arm but nothing was working. That woman hit me so hard I couldn't stop puking. Everything hurt and I felt so tired. Tired of life and tired of fighting. My best friend was gone, kids in my class think I'm cursed, and the teachers won't look at me like I'm a child that needs help but rather an adult that needs to grow up. I have never cried but that day, all of my emotions just rushed out. I didn't ugly cry but my heart sank to the lowest I have ever felt. If I die now, will I find peace? Will Sarah and my father forgive me and will they be safe from that woman? Damn. I felt my consciousness fading in and out and finally, I fell into a deep sleep.
I vaguely remember Sarah by my side and rubbing the back of my hand. My father leaning on a cupboard and had a scary look on his face. I remember them talking in a quiet voice,
"This should be enough for the court to understand that she is not fit to be his mother. Why?" Sarah snapped.
"I don't know. They won't look at the clear evidence. Why are they so fucking blind? Has she tipped them off or bribed?" My father replied in a tight voice.
My consciousness was fazing in and out but the last thing that I noticed was that woman came into the room and Sarah pounced in a split second. Sarah, why do you love me so much? I'm not your child, I'm the child of that disgusting woman. I have been nothing but awful to you. Why? After that, I don't remember much after that mess.
Date: August 1st XXXX
The doctor came in and talked to me. Mentioned that both women have been detained and they wanted to ask me who I wanted to help… Who would I protect? I proceeded to say Sarah's name and told the doctor to please not tell the other woman. The doctor nodded and then proceeded to ask me, is that other woman hurting me? Panic started to rise. I've never felt this way before. I was used to being hit and beaten but when someone else says it, it feels like I'm helpless. I'm not, right? I unconsciously refused to answer which made me want to throw up. Why am I protecting her… Why? My heart was beating really fast and my skin felt so dry. The doctor sighed and left. I was left alone with my thoughts rushing at a thousand miles per hour.
I got up from bed and slid down. Unattached the IV and proceeded to walk out the doors. With my socks and a hospital gown, I went to the restroom to change. I made my way through the doors and discovered the map of the hospital. I needed to get out of here. What if she was coming? These new feelings and the rash decisions came in quick and unruly. I left the building after 15 minutes of sneaking around. The air was refreshing. I was taken to a location that I didn't recognize. Of course, that woman would take me to an unknown hospital. I don't have insurance but I know she'll suck Sarah and my father dry. I just needed to run, so I did. I had no direction, no destination, and no place. I finally understood what I needed to do…
I ran for hours. My legs were burning and my lungs were on fire but not as much as my eyes and my heart. I ended up by a bridge. I puked my guts out of the fluids that I drank. My breaths were coming from down below as I filled my lungs to scream in the direction of the loud rushing lake. My throat was added to the list of things that were burning. My nose filled with snot as my eyes started to let those tears fall. My hands fell on my knees and cursed out that fucking woman.
That thought was broken when I hear this soft uncanny voice. I lifted my head and saw a girl sitting behind me on the railing of the bridge. She scuffed as she spoke to me the words of a demon, "Little dramatic I see." This girl was my age it seemed. She was a short, frail-looking thing, and had brown hair. She smirked at me which pissed me off, "you have no idea what's happening to me so I don't want to hear that from anyone." I have never said that to anyone. I kept my emotions in check at all times because if I showed anything to that woman, I would be pulverized for not being a man.
"What are you going to do about it?" She asked back with a dark voice.
That patronizing voice snapped me out of my self-pity party. I was amazed by this girl. She looks so comfortable on that railing… No. Something else is happening. I stood up and wiped my nose off and dried my eyes. "What are you doing up there? Let me guess, you're going to jump?"
She smirked again and stood up which made me flinch forward to catch her but she kept her balance really well. "Is it that obvious? A girl sitting on the edge of a bridge while facing a raging river that doesn't seem like it forgives easily, I guess I've been found out." The girl chimed as if this was a happy event.
I took a few steps closer to the bridge railing and looked at the waters that were rushing past us or underneath us I suppose. "Given that you're still here and that you're comfortable on that ledge, I bet you've tried this before," I asked while not taking my eyes off of the running water.
She gazed at the water with me, "I have stood on this multiple times but never could do it. There is always a force that keeps me from doing it… Maybe I'm weak." She responded.
I took that in for a few minutes and came out with, "Well, do you want to do it with me?" Both of our eyes met at the same time after I climbed up. My legs shook a little when I stood up. Once I straightened up and was face to face with her, I noticed that her eyes were as empty as mine. I want to ask but I know now is not the moment.
"Promise?" She uttered.
"With my life," I vocalized with the same intensity.
"My name is Chizu but my real name is Suzu. I'm telling you just in case you flake out after I jump." Suzu explained in a shaky voice.
"I'm Megumi… Yes, that is my first name even though people say it doesn't sound like it. So Suzu, ready?" I inquired while raising my hand to grab hers.
She met me halfway and grabbed my hand. We faced the water and took a huge breath. I could feel her heartbeat pulsing through my palm. I wasn't going to stop. I was really hoping that she was serious. As I took a deep breath and I started counting down, "3…2…" Our legs were bent and the motion was set, another voice broke the deep thought.
"No! Don't jump. You won't survive." I opened my eyes that I didn't realize that I closed and turned around to see this orange-haired girl show up behind us. She had grabbed onto Suzu's free hand and without any resistance, the orange hair girl pulled us both down and we fell on our backs. When I became aware, I stood up as fast as I could and saw the girl who had ruined our plans. A girl with a yellow bow, orange hair, and glossy crystal blue eyes. That's how my friendship with these girls started. Suzu and Honoka.
To Be Continued