Toby was right on time with picking her up and instead of taking her out, he brought her back to his place and made dinner himself. The ribs were good and the wine was better, but it made her realize just how much she missed having someone to share her time with. They'd opened a second bottle when she'd found it in his fridge later on and it was finally easier to talk to him.
He had never been one for small talk, at least not when he wasn't trying to get something, but for once he seemed interested in what she had to say. They talked about school a little at first and how crazy fast the year had gone by before they caught up on each other's families. His sister had gotten married and had a baby, which he had commented on how his niece had kind of made him like babies more, but he was glad he was just an uncle as far as he was concerned.
Katie had talked about her family and Toby had seemed surprised that her parents had yet another baby, but she couldn't blame him. No one had seen Emma coming and she was officially the last now that her mother had made her father get a vasectomy. And that was when the questions had come.
Everyone at the school had known she was pregnant and she knew Ned had sent an email to let the principal know what had happened when she had been in the hospital and that Hannah worked at the school as well, but when Toby had awkwardly crept around his condolences. She'd eventually poured herself another glass of wine and drank it when he finally asked her the big one.
"Is that why you and Ned separated?" He asked and was waiting for her answer as he drank his own, but he didn't push for her answer.
Katie just shrugged and they left it at that. She hadn't come here to talk about Ned and any concerns she might have had about Toby disappeared after they finished the second bottle and settled on his couch.
She could tell after watching a movie together that there was a question on his tongue. "Spit it out," she said, feeling confident.
"So this is a date, right?" He asked.
She smirked. "What else would it be?" She asked.
Toby sighed. "Well, some separations don't always end in divorce. I just want to be straightforward with each other, Katie." He rested his hand on her shoulder and it felt good. "I've always wanted another chance with you. I'm a different person now."
"So am I," she confessed, being straightforward like he wanted. "And I'm not looking to get into a serious relationship right now, Toby if that's what you're asking. I came over here because I know you and I don't want to meet someone new right now. But when it comes to Ned I don't know... it's complicated. The papers have been filed, but that's as far as it's gone for right now."
He nodded. "I see. I see."
"Stop complicating things then," she said, reaching over to squeeze his arm. "I came here to destress myself about all of this. If I wanted to wallow in my feelings about Ned I would just call my mother."
There's a long moment of silence between them, the sound of people chatting on the tv filling it.
Toby looked at her, examining her, before replying. "Does it feel right, though?"
Katie's head snapped up. "What do you mean?" She asked.
"Divorcing Ned," he said, arching his eyebrow.
Conflicting feelings swerved in as she considered his words and then she let it all out. "Things may have gotten difficult, but I still loved him… until he cheated." Her words but a whisper only meant for the two of them to hear, even if they were alone. "After everything… I was just done and this is where we are now. Can we leave it at that?" She felt tears in her eyes, but none of them spilled as she took in a deep breath. "I said that I didn't want to talk about this for a reason."
When she looked over into his eyes, she knew that they could finally drop the subject. He gave a sad but understanding smile. "I see why you needed a night off from it all. I'm sorry for bringing it up."
Katie needed more than that. She wasn't sure if it was the alcohol that had worn her down, but she had an itch to scratch. Her brain still wanted Ned, but Toby would do the trick for now. "I want no strings attached," she told him, swaying a little while moving closer to him. "Can you do that?"
"Whatever you want. I'm in," he said, leaning in, his breath hot as it mingled with hers until their lips met in a slow kiss.
She was quick to respond and kissed him back. His large hand wrapped around her knee, fingers tight along the backside of it, and he pulled until she was on his lap, straddling him as they made out. It's hot, hotter than it had any right to be.
She'd never been like Toby, waiting along for another chance to make things right. She'd been happy with Ned for so long that she'd never thought twice about him until now and this was easy to keep in a little box. She could keep her emotions out of it, which was exactly what she needed right now.
His hands were on her hips, her thighs, on every inch of her back, and in her hair as he gripped it and held her in place so he could lick up the side of her neck as she ground against him. It was all a little messy and she let go of him to push her cardigan off.
"If you want me to stop, tell me to stop, and I will," He murmured between kisses.
Katie didn't want him to stop, but she nodded as he kissed down her neck. She wanted him to know that she heard him. She lost herself in the feel of him as he slipped his hands underneath her shirt. She felt like she was floating and she didn't know how to touch back to earth. That was when she realized he had stood up and was holding her against him as he moved to the bedroom.
She was overcome with desire, and she let out a huff of air when he dropped her onto his bed. Everything was falling into place. They began to take each other's clothes off, and God, the anxiety of not looking as good or as sexy as she had when she was eighteen or even a year ago before all of this mess started to pull at her, even as Toby caressed her body above her.
"Sexy," he whispered before mouthing at her breasts. His fingers were tight on her nipple as he sucked the other into his mouth. "You're so sexy."
He knew what he was doing, and between the pressure of his fingers, the sharp scrape of his teeth on her, and his stubble against her skin, she was burning up underneath him. She moaned when he looked up at her.
"If I remember correctly," he whispered, his fingers pulling down on her panties to rid her of them. "You liked it when I did this."
His hands were gentle on her thighs, but she could feel the calluses on his palms and fingers from his artwork and it caused goosebumps to pepper her skin. It was a different kind of feeling from how Ned was soft and loving, but Toby was rough and passionate and his tongue was a revelation. One that had always made her mind go numb and had her thighs quivering.
Katie felt good. Better than she had in weeks. Her fingers were in his short hair, and she can't stop her thighs from clamping on each side of his head. She knew she needed to not do that, but he moaned into her and smacked her ass.
"I'm gonna come," she whimpered, pulling on his hair as he licked and sucked her through it, bringing her over the edge until she was pushing his head away. Her bones felt like jelly, and she watched as Toby got up and got himself a glass of water. "Get me a glass too, please. I'm gonna need it before we keep going."
It had been too long since she'd had such a good orgasm. While she could reach there on her own and even quicker with the help of her vibe, there was something different about someone else doing it for you.
Toby handed her a water glass and she took a sip. "Same old vanilla Katie. You'd think you were still a virgin like all those years before." He teased her, breaking her buzz as he sat beside her. His hand caressed her bare hip as he moved just enough to smack her ass again. "Except you've gained a couple of pounds, but it looks good on you."
She had to blink to let what he said to settle in. "Are you fat and kink-shaming me?" She asked.
"Don't go all fem-nazi on me now," he said, pulling her closer. "You know that's not what I meant. It's just… always been so simple with you. It's why I went after you in the first place, well other than finally scoring a virgin."
It all sank in real fast. The alcohol and fleeting serotonin buzz faded even further than it already had as Toby's hands touched her. He was using her, just like he had before, except now it was different.
"You're this… lonely housewife, and you need someone to take care of you now that your husband is gone." He was digging himself a bigger hole the more he spoke. "Or maybe you're just using me to get back at him, which is almost better. I never liked Ned. You should've seen his face the other day when I even suggested you and I were hooking up."
Katie had had enough. "You what? What did you tell him?" She pushed him off of her without another thought and started to redress herself as quickly as she could, ignoring Toby as he silently scowled at her.
"Nothing," he shouted defensively, just like he always did. "I just suggested some things and he nearly tore my head off, but I see that might not have been the best thing to do now. Katie, wait, stop getting dressed."
"No," she said, not letting him get the best of her. "I should've known better than to think you actually changed. It's always a fucking game with you. My problems with Ned are big enough as it is and I don't need you creating more chaos because you want it to seem like you have something over him. And I don't need anyone to take care of me, especially not you. I could care less about the rest of it, but a virgin? Was that all I ever was to you back then?"
Toby tried to plead with his eyes to her, but she wasn't buying it. She wasn't fucking eighteen anymore and wasn't going to fall for his dark eyes and fake tears. "You know that's not what I meant. It might've been why I went after you but—"
"But you fell for my charm and I broke your heart? Save it, Toby," she yelled, not letting him interrupt her or get another word in. "You tried to beat me when things stopped going your way, and now you tried to fuck me again in hopes of getting back at the guy who I married after you. I'm not giving you that satisfaction."
Katie was beyond done with him. She pushed him away as he got closer to her and went to grab her cardigan in the living room, hearing him follow her.
"Just wait, let me explain," Toby said, grabbing her arm. "Are you just gonna walk home? I drove you here."
She was this close to punching him when she yanked her arm free from his grasp. "Explain what? I have nothing to gain by staying here and listening to what bullshit excuse you try to pull out of your ass," she muttered, grabbing her purse and keys, and walking out the front door. "The old me might've, but as I told you, she's gone and I'm not going to stay here and even if I did I wouldn't screw you, so yes, I'll walk my happy ass home. Go do it yourself."
Katie walked about a mile before she called someone. She'd thought about calling Ned, about rubbing his face in the fact that she had been over at someone's house after what Toby had told her, but she decided to be the bigger person and just called her dad instead.
Jim happened to be on his way home after having to run to the hospital for something and was there less than five minutes after she called.
She could always count on her dad to be there when she needed him. Even at eleven at night with almost no questions asked.
"Why didn't you have your car?" He asked as he pushed open the passenger door from inside his truck. "And why the park?"
"Toby picked me up," she muttered, not wanting to go into detail as he started to drive. Neither of her parents liked him, but she didn't blame them. It had ended in a disaster anyway. "And I walked here."
"That guy? Again?" He scoffed, turning the wheel slowly and looking over at her as he did. "Why?"
Katie was staring out the window, listening to the Adele song on the radio, until her dad turned the music off to get her attention. "I regret it already, dad," she sighed. "I left, didn't I? I don't want to talk about it." She didn't really want to tell him anything more.
Her dad apparently wasn't going to back down quite so easily tonight though. "That's why I picked you up at the park then?" He asked. "What happened? You know your mom is gonna have questions when I tell her I picked you up."
She shook her head. "Dad, please, you don't have to tell her anything. I don't need this being talked about because then Delia will find out," she muttered. "I'm not a kid anymore. Just let me make my own mistakes."
"But you're still my kid, Katie. I don't care why you went over there," he said, face serious as he pulled up outside her house. Her dad parked and turned to look at her. "I want to know what he did to make you leave his house at eleven at night when you didn't have your car."
"He's a terrible person. I should've never been over there," she muttered. "I think he told Ned."
Jim squeezed her shoulder. "Ned probably didn't believe him anyway. What reason would he have to?"
"I don't know but he hasn't tried to randomly stop by any more or give coffee to Delia to give to me like I don't know it's from him," she muttered. "And I think he has a girlfriend."
Her dad looked upset but then rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know. Your mom hasn't stopped texting me about the post since it popped up on her feed. I think she's gonna go over there in the morning, so that might change."
Katie nearly laughed, thinking of Melinda giving Ned a piece of her mind was certainly funny enough, but it also stressed her out to think of having to talk to him after all that had happened.
It was quiet for a bit then until Jim turned back toward her. "I could still kick both of their asses, you know."
That made her laugh. She knew he would. "And possibly lose your job? Yeah, right. Mom would kill us," she said, shaking her head. "Toby's always been an egotistical dick, dad. Nothing's changed despite how much he wants to preach that he has and that's all I'm saying."
"Well I never liked that guy," he muttered. "But what about Ned? I like him."
"I don't know… there are still things we need to fix," she shrugged. "But all I can think about right now is hoping that I can finally get a good night's sleep."
"You could always come home," he suggested, smiling.
Katie almost said yes, but she hugged him goodbye instead. "Not tonight. It's too late," she said, giving him a slight squeeze and kiss to his cheek. She loved hugs from her dad, especially after nights like these. "Thanks for coming to get me. I might've had to call Ned if you didn't answer."
Jim pressed a kiss to her forehead as he pulled back. "Maybe I shouldn't have answered then. Would that have been the worst thing in the world?" He asked.
She knew the answer was no, but she knew that her dad would always be betting on them getting back together. "I might've done something stupid," she reasoned, opening the door to get out of the truck. "Thanks again. I love you."
"As stupid as going over to Toby's house?" He chuckled.
That stung more than she liked to admit. "I thought you of all people wouldn't judge me," she said, grabbing her purse off the seat.
"I'm not, Katie. It's your life," he said. "I'm just saying that anything you might've done with Ned if he picked you up shouldn't be labeled as stupid as thinking Toby might've changed."
"Trust me, dad. I wasn't going over there because I wanted to marry Toby," she groaned, feeling her face heat up. She felt like a child confessing to something she'd done wrong. "It was just..."
Jim smirked at her embarrassment. "Sex?" He asked and finished her sentence.
She rolled her eyes. "Goodnight dad," she said, closing the door.
He rolled the window down. "Love you too, bug," he chuckled.
"Yeah, yeah. I love you." She said, blowing him another kiss. "Tell mom I'll probably be by the store tomorrow. I'm guessing she'll need a distraction if she does go over to see Ned."
"Okay. I will," he said. "Goodnight."
Katie waved and watched as he drove down the block before walking up the driveway to her front door. She locked the door behind her and made the trek upstairs to finally get a good night's sleep.
Ned's morning was a total disaster.
When he saw the picture Becca had posted of the two of them with a rather obvious caption about their relationship, he thought he'd have to deal with his mother's wrath or even Katie's, but it was Melinda he found pounding at his door.
For some reason, the last thing Ned had expected was for the woman to start screaming at him, but it seemed Katie's mother had no patience and no sympathy for him by the way she shoved him out of her way.
This is the path that you are choosing? You're going to throw your marriage away?" Melinda yelled, her hand curling into a fist as she got near him again. "You think you can get away with making my daughter look like a fool?"
Ned was definitely awake now if he wasn't before. He was happy that Becca wasn't here though. That would've just made it all worse.
He rubbed his eyes anyway as he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "She moved on first," he muttered, keeping his temper as he stared down his mother-in-law. "She shut me out and told me that my grief wasn't the same as hers. What was I supposed to do, Melinda? Stay there and withstand being shut out at every turn?"
Katie's mother waited until he was done, arms crossed and eyes stern. "Because it isn't, Ned. You both lost a son, but not in the same way. I thought you were man enough to realize that by now, but maybe I did waste my breath all those years ago when I told Katie she should give you a second chance." She told him, already turning to leave. "So trust me, it won't happen again and I won't let Jim do it either."
Ned wanted to stop her, to explain his side somehow but his feet were glued to where he stood as he watched Melinda pull the door closed behind him. He knew there was nothing to say.
He'd turned his back on trying to fix his marriage when he started seeing Becca, but that had to stop now. He couldn't play pretend anymore and act like a child. He had to grow up and face the fact that he wasn't in the right.
He walked out when it got hard instead of trying to fix the issue at hand and somehow he still expected Katie to wait around for him again. How could he ever expect that from her? She may still love him, but she knew she deserved better than that and he did too.
Katie went to see her mother as promised and when Melinda saw her, she breathed a sigh of relief and hugged her. "Is Delia here?"
Her mom pressed a kiss to her cheek as she pulled away. "In the back, why?"
The last thing she wanted was to Delia and try to answer her million questions that she would inevitably have about if she and Ned were ever going to fix things. Katie had always felt like his mother hated her for marrying him like she wasn't good enough for him, but now that had definitely changed after all this time.
"Do you think we could sneak out for brunch or something?" She asked. "I don't think I can answer any questions she may have right now."
"Of course, but I've already done most of that work for you," Melinda told her, hoping to ease her worries but it didn't do much. "I went over to see Ned as well."
She nodded, already knowing that from the night before. "Dad told me," she sighed, "and I'm not looking forward to what that ensues between us."
"Well, let's get out of here. It's been so slow that I already did inventory. I'll just have to go tell Delia, but I'll just say its errands." Melinda said as she grabbed her purse and walked backward toward the backroom. "You can wait outside if you want."
"It's fine. You don't have to lie to Delia or anything like that," she replied, going to lean against the pillar beside the front counter. "I'll watch the front just in case someone stops in."
"I doubt anyone is going to come in," Melinda's voice was all she heard as the creak of the basement stairs told her that her mother was making her way down them.
Katie didn't look up from her phone as she checked her email. "Better safe than sorry. Go get Delia before a sudden rush decides to sweep through," she said as she closed out her email and opened the Google app.
She had been thinking about it since she'd seen that picture, but she was caught up in herself, in thinking about her own feelings and how she would be affected by the thought that had been looming in the back of her mind. But what really tripped her up is how it would affect Ned. She could see him now, his eyebrows pinched together as his eyes filled with tears.
She could hear his voice so clearly. Katie, please. Please don't do this. Give me one more chance. Please. But she could see right now that if she gave him another chance that things would stay the way they were, and would never get any better. ANd that seemed worse than not having him at all.
There was only one thing she could think to do that would make this all better.
She was staring at her phone screen. The cursor blinked in the search bar. She was the only one in the storefront until her mom and Delia came back up. The silence was almost making her sick. It felt like a horror movie. Her breaths were falling so softly, yet they were so loud in the silence of the empty room. She could almost hear the suspenseful music getting louder and louder around her.
Finally, before she could stop herself, she typed in the phrase she had come to the page to search for:
How to get
She thought better of that phrase and backspaced.
How to begin the process of
No, that wasn't right. Short and simple.
Divorce
She took a deep breath and loomed her finger over the search button. The loud ding from the door snapped her out of her trance. She didn't know how long she had been staring at the screen, refusing to click the button.
"Morning, Katie," she heard his voice call as he walked toward the back. "Is my mom here?" She quickly exited out of the app, trying to look casual as she smiled at him.
"Hi." Ned was the last person she'd expected to see walk through the door, but it was a relief to see him standing in front of her again. Her heart soared like it always did, but this time it felt like there was that invisible wall that had always been between them in the beginning.
He began making his way toward her, a coffee and a bag in his left hand. She knew the items were for her. He'd been doing it all the time, lately. Only this time he'd finally had to courage to give them to her himself. It's like they were separated, but not actually. He still acted like her husband most of the time, but even that had changed too.
Divorce.
Ned smiled at her as he extended the bag toward her. She began to reach for it when something caught her eye. Her eyebrows scrunched together and her hand fell back against her leg, a soft thud breaking the silence that had resumed when she dropped her phone. He raised an eyebrow at her and set the bag down, but waited for her to take her coffee cup.
She picked up her phone but was still staring at the cup in his hand. His left hand, curled around the cup. Their fingers would brush together when she took it, she knew. And usually, when that did happen on the rare occurrence that she did see him now, it still felt like a little touch of electricity shooting into her body and making her heart flutter.
But every other time, something else was different. Because every other time, his wedding band would glint in the light. But today, it didn't. Today, there was no band on his fourth finger and somehow that hurt more than anything. Even if she hadn't worn hers for weeks, he still had and it had given her a glimmer of hope and now even that was gone.
She realized she must look strange, but she couldn't take the cup.
"Hey, you okay?" He finally asked.
She blinked, redirecting her attention to his face. She finally reached out and took the cup, setting it down in front of her. "Uh… yeah. Just…" She hesitated, not wanting to play her cards, but had never been able to bite her tongue around him. "Your wedding band."
He looked down at his hand like he didn't know what she was talking about. "Oh, yeah…" He trailed off, tucking his hands underneath her desk where she couldn't see them. "Your mom had something to say about that too."
"I bet she did," she muttered. "So you took it off?"
"Well, you already stopped wearing yours a while back." That cut deeper than she'd ever thought it would. "So I thought it was about time." He replied, looking more awkward now and then seemed to hesitate. "I… uhm, I actually met someone."
Her stomach dropped even if she'd already known. But her mouth couldn't form words. Her brain couldn't come up with thoughts that would even begin to explain what was happening inside her head.
Ned had met someone. That was... good, right?
This was what she wanted.
But fuck, it did not feel like she wanted this.
A/N: Don't hate me. I already hate myself for what I do to these two lmao