Moving forwards
After our declaration we took a few minutes to just sit in silence and let the gravity of what we were doing sink in until "I will gather the others, we can make it official after we have ironed out certain details." Came Cassandras calmed voice. She stood up, nodded to me and Leliana and left the room to find the other people who would become the cornerstone to the inquisition. Thus, leaving me alone with Leliana for the first time in around nine years, 'well fuck' I think, trying to decide whether it was worth making an excuse about having something I needed to do. However, before I could think of a good one she spoke up "It's good to see you again, you know" I almost pull a muscle with how quick I look over to her, the soft and shy voice sounding odd coming from her now "Despite how we all parted ways then, I am glad to see you again, especially with what we face now." I could hear the shaking in her voice, even as she turned more away, it was obvious to me just how shaken to her core she is, the events of this past week were finally taking its toll on her.
So, I did something that I hoped would work, and not get me dead in the process it. I slowly and loudly move to stand behind her, so she'd know where I was, and proceeded to wrap my arms around her, hoping to bring comfort in a familiar way. She stiffened for a moment, wither not expecting it at all or just not believing I would, before turning into me and reciprocating it, letting her sobs leak out into my chest. We stand there for a while, neither saying a word, just squeezing one another, relishing the familiar feeling from the other. Despite how long we had been apart, there was a special bond shared by most in our original group, and it bought comfort we'd never soon forget. Eventually she stepped back, I handed her a clean cloth, one I'd keep on me for cleaning my weapon, so she could dab her eyes.
As she did that, I took to opportunity to begin a conversation "I'm happy to see you too, Lost track of you after you left the chantry in Kirkwall for a bit, colour me surprised when you end up as the Divines hand." She looks surprised for a moment, eyes seeming to ask a question, which I was happy to answer, "Not keeping tabs on you if that's what you're thinking, I just wanted to know how my friends were doing." I finish with a small smile, which she returns in earnest.
"So, you'll really stay to help us? I had thought after all you had experienced; between assassins, the blight, monsters and war, you would want to live a more peaceful and relaxed life. You rediscovered your family, no?" She asks with genuine curiosity and a hint of hesitation; likely afraid I'll change my mind and leave them.
"It's true I have long grown weary of this lifestyle and yes It's true I would prefer to spend as much time with my family as possible after finding them again. However, I do believe that the threat that we face here has the potential to be catastrophic to Thadas, maybe even this realm. That means that my family as well as countless other innocent people in this world are in danger and I refuse to be selfish enough to ignore them."
By the end of my little rant, Leliana is fully beaming "You've not changed at all you know, still a man hiding the fact he cares too much behind the façade that he doesn't care at all." This takes me back for a moment, to pleasant memories around campfires, trading stories and experiences with people whose bonds had been forged in the fires of war.
"Can you say your any different little bird? This newer persona of yours, cold and calculating, yet for someone who knows you can see the caring heart underneath, just don't let the act change who you really are, kay?" I shoot back, tone soft and caring. She looks in my eye a moment, before reaching a hand to my face and tracing one of the scars she was familiar with down the length of my cheek tenderly.
"There you go again, always the one to look after others, rarely letting the opposite happen." It was said with some melancholy, yet plenty of care and even some longing, before letting her hand drop entirely and stepping back, turning to face the door.
As she finishes, the door swings open and three people enter, Cassandra, Cullen and one unknown young Antivan woman. For a moment I tense involuntarily from the poor memories connected to her people, before forcing myself to relax. No one bar Lily seems to notice my reaction, who steps closer to help me relax with her presence.
Cassandra coughs to get all our attention "We all know why we are here, we five in this room will be solely responsible for the founding of the inquisition and all the actions that It takes." She begins, allowing the gravity of her words to take effect on us all "Most of us know one another but for the records sake we will introduce ourselves and allow our identities to be recorded by our ambassador." With this she nods to the Antivan woman, whom begins to organise some papers on the table and produce a quill, looking around the room and meeting all our eyes, she begins "My name is Josephine Montilyet of the noble house Montilyet, formerly the ambassador for Antiva to Orlais, I will be taking the responsibility of ambassador of the Inquisition." She finished speaking and writing at the same time, looking up to smile at all present before waiting for the next person to step forward.
Leliana speaks next "My name is Leliana Nightingale, left hand of the Divine and hero of the blight, I shall become the spymaster and seneschal of the Inquisition."
Again, a look around the room but with a gaze much harder than the last, we all nod in respect before Cullen steps forward "My name is Cullen Rutherford, former knight-Commander of Kirkwall and attempted peacekeeper in this blasted war, I shall assume command of the forces of the Inquisition."
Another look, somewhere between the last two before again a round of nods. Cassandra comes in next "My name is Cassandra Pentaghast, right hand of the Divine and Hero of Orlais, I shall become one of the field leaders of the Inquisition." She finishes and again looks around the room and receives nods before all eyes now turn to me.
"My name is Lucas Löwen Trevelyan, Hero of the Blight, Peacekeeper of Thadas, Commander of the Golden Lions company and some other such nonsense, I shall take the responsibility of Pathfinder of the Inquisition, exploring and discovering areas that will help us bring aid to places our forces can't reach, as well as acting as another of its field commanders." I end my little speel, looking around the room and getting three nods and one awed expression, 'heh, guess no one told the ambassador who I was, sneaky bastards.' I think to myself with a grin. After all of this was documented, Cassandra continued the meeting. The whole affair was spent establishing our rules and determining a list of potential allies, a fairly dull affair really.
It continued on for around two hours of hammering out the details before there was a knock at the door, followed by its opening slightly and one of the templar guards from earlier popping their heads in "Sirs, ma'ams, forgive my interruption but we have some visitors here that insist to see the Herald." He says respectfully, turning to me with a nod before I can hear a slight voice in the background ask, "Is he in there?" I recognise it instantly and give a quick glance around the room and flash a quick smile before turning back and saying, "Thank you lad, please allow them through." He gives a quick nod before going to fetch them and I take the opportunity to stand and prepare myself, tuning to my fellows and giving a quick "sorry about this."
Before hearing small and fast footsteps coming in our direction, at this I drop down to a knee just in time for the door to swing open and a small blur wrapped in warm clothes barrel into me at speed screaming "Big Brother!" I do nothing more than just catch her and hold tight while picking her up, "I missed you too little cub" I say to her whilst holding her, feeling a small nod into my shoulder, causing her locks of auburn hair to tickle my nose. Out the corner of my eye I spot another familiar figure approach and turn to it while freeing one arm and extending it to them, allowing them to come in for a side hug. "It's a blessing to see you well dear." Comes the relived voice of my stepmother and I find even more hair tickling my nose, this time it's a shade of fiery red. "I'm glad your all here safe too Ros." I reply equally relived for my family's safety. Rosalind steps back and gives a smile and a squeeze to the arm before stepping back and allowing the next person in, a taller and broader figure, obviously young and fit with dark blond hair cut short. Jason steps in but seems to be at a loss for words for the moment, never good with small talk that one, and looking relived when I offered my hand forward, only to squeak when pulled into a 'manly' side hug too.
Saying nothing and merely stepping back after nodding he too moves to allow the next person into the room, which leads to the older figure of my father to enter the room and come for another side hug stating "I'm so glad you're alright my son." I could only nod in reply before he too steps back.
Now with a moment to collect myself I turn my attention to the little one still nuzzled into my arm before gently kissing the top of her head and lowering her to the floor, she understood the gesture and released my neck, only to move close to my side and pull part of my cloak around her. I smile a little at the familiarity, it was something she'd taken to doing int the past few years, she loved the material for some reason. I turn my attention to the other occupants of the room who were looking on with a myriad of expressions, ranging from shock to admiration to amusement. "My friends I apologise for the suddenness but if you will please excuse me for the night, I will ensure to meet with each of you tomorrow for farther discussion." A quick look around the room gives me a round of smiles and nods before I turn back to my family and guide them to the cabin I woke in, fully intent on bringing them up to speed of recent events.
LINE BREAK
I was making my way around our encampment the next morning, introducing myself to anybody I came across, mostly because I hoped that meeting me as a regular person would get rid of this 'Herald' notion once and for all… I did not go as I'd hoped it would. 'It will always amaze me how much people cling to an ideal to ignore the obvious, searching for a higher power and all that.'
'Welp I've greeted all the people inside the walls, some went better than others' I lament, thinking of the meeting with Threnn, recognition followed by cold distain, 'glad to know I'm remembered' I think sarcastically. Stepping outside of the walls for the first time after waking up was an experience, unlike a few of my companions over the years I hadn't journeyed back to the temple since we discovered it. That being said I was somewhat surprised to see the township having gotten smaller, but more gathered in one area unlike being spread up the mountain like before.
'Eh, I'm no architect, probably something to do with the rock or some shit' I scan the outside to see what's there, up until now I'd only been going to the places I need to; quartermaster, alchemist, the caravan shop keep, tavern owner and some such, trying to get a feel for how good our support network will be while where here. I was just finishing up a conversation with the blacksmith, Harritt his name, when I noticed some commotion coming from what seemed to be a training area for the fighters of Inquisition.
I decide to investigate what's going on, so I approach Cullen from behind because as far as I knew he was going to be taking putting the recruits through their paces. "New training methods Cub?" I say as I come to a stop beside him with a pat on the shoulder. He's tenses for a moment before realizing it's me and relaxes, replying "They weren't listening to what I had to say at first, so Cassandra decided to step in with some age-old Seeker training, see for yourself?" He replies in a tired voice, tapering off with a sigh and moving to massage his nose in stress. Looking past him, I can see why he's so stressed, Cassandra was at the centre of a ring of recruits, several of them downed around her, squaring off against a nervous looking lad with a simple shield and sword.
That in itself wouldn't be worrying, hard training early on will reinforce why these lads and lasses need to get stronger, or they'll die early, what was worrying was the expression on Cass's face. A deep-set scowl and eyes looking through her opponent, she wasn't fighting this lad, not really, she was somewhere else, fighting something else entirely. It happened to all of us sometimes, the ones of us who have been though some deep shit over the years know it well, I imagine Cullen was worried about trying to snap her out of it on account of him not being able to stop her himself.
*sigh* "Why can it never be an easy day" I complain out loud, unclipping my helm and bringing it low over my face, extending an arm out to Cullen, asking for any kind of training weapon, I couldn't rightly use the proper sword at my waist on her. As if sensing what I planned to do he had one waiting for me, a simple bladed spear, around as tall as myself with a blunted blade and a simple wooden shield like the one from the mountain from the other day. I give him a nod and shrug my mantel over my shoulders, catching it in the hooks on my armour made to hold it in place along my back, ensuring it doesn't get in the way. I see an opportunity as the lad drops, using his shield to guard himself on the floor, seeing Cass swing to knock the shield aside, I thrust my spear into the flat of her blade, knocking the swing far off course and making her stumble away to get her bearing's.
"Clear the area for us lads, a demonstration is in order" I speak clear through the silence, jolting the recruits out of their stupor and getting them to vacate the impromptu arena, Cassandra just stood there for a moment, almost seemed like she would snap out of the stupor for a moment only to raise her shield and set her sword, getting ready to fight. I do the same, shield held at my chest and hunched around it, spear over the top rim, slightly over the left side with that being the hand I'm holding it in. I take a second to appreciate, I've got range here, but her shield protects more than mine does and her longswords lives up to its name pretty well. My armours more covering and heavier but hers is more mobile for sure, overall, it seems like she's got the advantage, provided she can wither my blows, she'll be able to manoeuvre around me and go in for a strike. 'Yeah, this is going to be fucking exciting…'
Few moments of staring each other down without a single movement, just sizing each other up, taking deep breaths and calming as much as possible, a normal way for most duels to begin. And suddenly she was moving, and dear lord could she move. Two large strides later and I had a longsword being thrusted at my eyes, luckily the tensing of her shoulder and the height of the tip gave it away. She was nearly fast enough for that not to matter, but if your quick enough to notice these tells and can react accordingly, you always stand a chance. My shield came upward and impacted the length of her blade close to the tip, sending it upward, shield following it above my head in case she planned to bring it down again. While this was happening my spear had chambered at my side, snapping out towards her arm wielding the sword, elbow to be exact, where there wasn't much armour on account of articulation, aim being to rattle it enough for her to drop the blade and end this early.
Predictably her shield came up in time to catch the blow in time, but it did hit the outer rim of the shield causing her to be knocked off balance to her right because of the awkward placement of the force, giving me the opportunity to step in and strike down with my still raised shield, brining it down on her shield while she was off balance causing her to stumble back again. I back off a step and reset, watching her as she finds her feet and shakes her abused arm, levelling a glare my way. "Seeker, I need you to calm down for me" I try a negotiating approach, maybe I could talk her down from this and sort it privately. Unfortunately, she just charged at me, that's when I realized she wasn't all there right now, and experienced fighter like her would never be this reckless.
Her shield was held loose on her arm, sword raised in an incredibly telegraphed swing, I saw the opportunity to end this here and I took it, I dropped my spear and punched the raised sword with my shield, as her momentum was suddenly halted I stepped into her guard and swung my now free arm around her neck, pivoting and crashing our hips together as I did, throwing her body to the floor on her back, forcing air from her lungs. I proceeded to straddle her, one knee pining her chest and the other her sword arm, free hand holding her neck to stop her hitting her head and shield arm raised to strike. I spoke quietly to her "Cass, I need you to calm down, please." I stress the last word, using my freed hand to cradle her face and force her to look me in the eyes. She seems to now, I can feel her go limp and relax, so I stand and pull her up with me, pulling her close and whispering "We are going for a walk and talk kay" without giving her time to respond I turn to Cullen and give him a nod, tossing the shield back to him. I swing an arm around her waist and move off to where the possible logging stand Threnn asked me to look into was, 'This is going to be a lonnnggg talk….'
Line Break
The silence was pretty awkward at first, understandable, we just fought, maker only knows how long she was fighting for, coupled with it being pretty obvious she hadn't been sleeping right recently, leaning on me more and more as we walked and the bags under her eyes gave it away, I knew we couldn't carry on with this much longer. "You don't have to keep your arm there you know." So, it really surprised me when she spoke first, she seemed to have gathered herself enough to stand alone, only for a moment before she wavered, however. I pull her back into my side firmly, feeling her slump even more than she was, luckily we had just made it to an old timber house, another of my places to investigate, this time for the old potions master whom had disappeared, fortunately it would make good shelter for the evening.
"Come seeker, we rest here." I say, pushing the door open with my foot and pulling her along. The inside was dark and cold, but the small bed by the fully stocked fireplace looked a good place to start. I carry her there and set her down gently as I can, I have to take her hand to get her attention she's that out of it, "Cassandra, I'm going to start us a fire, I need you to take your armour off for me." I look into her eyes as I speak, hoping she understands. Her eyes widen for a moment, before she just blearily nods and sets about unbuckling it with some hesitation. Nodding to this I turn to the fireplace, stacking it up and searching for tinder, but not finding any, "Cass, I'm just going outside to get some tinder for the fire okay, I won't be long." I give her shoulder a squeeze as I pass and head out.
It didn't take me long too gather the needed material, some small sticks on the floor and some dead branches shaved down did the trick. Even then I took my time getting it together, thinking about how I'm going to handle this, I knew something was wrong with her, I'd heard many stories about the woman, and all had painted her as formidable and unbreakable, not depressed and angry. Deciding I'd spent enough time doing this I head back into the cabin, calling out as I do "Cass, it's just me, I got the stuff for the fire, how you feeling?" I round the corner to where I left her as I finish talking, only to see her tiredly trying to reach one of the buckles on the back of her armour with a fair amount of difficulty. After taking a moment to observe I decide to put her out of her misery and move behind her, undoing the clasp with one hand.
She stills for a moment before speaking "Thank you" quick and simple, before returning to removing the plate. Simply nodding I move round her to the fireplace, setting it properly and speaking a quick incantation causing sparks to leap out at the fire, lighting up the room in an orange glow. I set about removing my gloves and bracers, knowing I would need my hands uncovered for what I was about to do. I decided to be free of my own chest plate as well, in an attempt to get a tad comfortable. "So, what exactly are we doing here?" I hear from behind me, turning to address her I see she is clad only in her cotton undershirt, trying to look anywhere besides me, 'heh cute.'
"Well Seeker, there is obviously something wrong with ya, both physically and more, and we both know you can't carry on this way, so I'm going to heal your body and you're going to speak your mind." At first, she seems shocked, like she's surprised someone realized something was wrong with her, before turning her head away from looking at me, "I have no idea what you're talking about, I'm perfectly fine." She spoke with a haughty tone, an obvious act, trying to project confidence.
"Cass, I can see the blacked bruise on your chest from here." However, I was ready for that, I'd put together a mental list of what was wrong with her on the way here to counter her, "Now lay down so I can get to work okay, and maybe you can tell me what eating ya." She was shocked for a moment before, crossing her arms and looking away defiantly, remaining sat up. "Eh suit yourself" I said as I moved behind her and placed my hands on the centre of her back, eliciting a soft gasp from her, which would have likely been followed up by something if I hadn't cast the healing spell I'd been waiting for the right moment to cast. The warm glow of the magic encased her, at the moment it was just generalized, covering everything and healing slowly. I let it sit like that for a moment, to calm her, before bringing it to her chest to heal the worst damage I'd seen. This caused another gasp as she felt the pressure more and work quicker on her insides.
For several moments there was quite through the cabin before "I have never felt healing magic such as this before, it is … like warm water." I was silent for a beat, before beginning to laugh, of all the ways to begin a talk that was how she chose to do it. "Well I can assure you I am by no means a great healer, I learnt this technique from the spirit of an old elf in a vial in the middle of the Brycillian forest of all things, much like the shield you saw me use, but my teacher always said what good is learning how to destroy, if you know not how to fix."
"They sound wise." She spoke, voice lighter than it had been, more relaxed, "She was." I allow myself a smile, thinking of older memories for a moment, before returning focus to the person in front of me "So why haven't you allowed for your wounds to be healed since the battle Cassandra?"
There was some tensing again before "I didn't think it necessary; I have been injured before and not needed healing." It was said so simply and to the point that it hurt to hear, it meant she hardly cared about what happened to herself, and that just was not healthy, 'note to self, change that shit as soon a doable.'
"Well we are here now, so I want you to tell me what hurts, and I'll fix it as best I can." I say as softly as I'm able.
"I… Thank you." She says.
We sit in relative silence from then on, only breaking it when she gives another area of discomfort for me to focus on. Around an hour of healing later and most of it was done. Things had been quiet, mostly just the crackling of the fire and the occasional whisper of a new injury to fill the silence. Now with a moment to think I decide it best to start on the conversation side of this session, "So, kicking the shit out of new recruits, that an age-old Seeker training regime?" I try and keep the tone light and non-judgemental, trying to keep her relaxed as can be.
"Truthfully, yes, but we both know that's not what was happening there, don't we." She doesn't seem to tense which is good, she doesn't even seem to pull away from my hands on her back, which is good.
"True, I know the look, I see it in the mirror some mornings." I say with a sigh, moving to sit next to her, shoulder to shoulder, in a bid to let her know she has support. "So where were you exactly?"
"On that mountain top, a few days ago, staring down demons. I just tried not to fail this time." I can hear her voice waver at the end, recalling it must be tearing at her. She felt guilty.
"Cass, I can understand having everything flipped on it's head in moments, you lost a lot at the conclave, then you had to march out and lead a suicide mission into a demon spitting hell portal, you know everybody has a breaking point, you just reached yours there." I knew I couldn't reassure her, she wouldn't take to it, but getting her to see the reasoning was easy enough. "Do you think you were the only one? You all had to see your symbol of faith destroyed before your eyes. Cullen and his men were pretty much routed in that moment, I've never known Lily to miss like that with a bow before and even Varric and Solas were put on their asses by it."
"But you weren't!" She stopped me with the exclamation, "You weren't deterred, you didn't faulter a single step! I know what why you did it, why you pulled out that sword, summoned that lightning and why you stopped that demon. We needed something to rally behind, something to give us hope." She ranted out, leaning forward on her arms. There was a beat for a few moments, "I stopped, I couldn't move, I couldn't lead them when they needed, I failed."
I was silent for a few, just taking in what she had said, forming a response. "Nah" She looks at me in shock and disbelief, thinking I'd just brushed it all off. "I think we all failed each other really. We had a plan, we had the numbers, we just didn't have the faith. If we all had faith in one another, we would have trusted each other and not choked when shit got hard." I finish my reply, turning to look at her, gently bumping our shoulder and finishing off my impromptu speech, "We'll just have to do better next time." I say with a smile.
She has no words, seems like her mind has stopped whirring for a moment too. Before she begins to smile, settling on a small and soft one, leaning more into my side now with eyes closed, "Next time, sounds good." She trails off towards the end there, slumping against my shoulder, and it takes a moment to realizes that she's fallen asleep. I can only smile gently as I lay her down, draping my mantel over her as a blanket, sitting myself by the fire to keep an eye on the door. 'We can deal with the other issues some other time, for now, she needs her sleep, and so do I.' were my last thoughts as I slowly close my eyes, entering the fade once more.