A/N: Hoping this one is a little more upbeat for you. I enjoy writing more side characters into this story, even Toby lol, but I especially love Hannah because her relationship with Katie is so pure :) ANYWAYS, enjoy. I don't think this one will make you sad Meowser, but we'll see I guess ¨̮xx Mariah
Ned drove her home that night. They didn't talk about it. What was there to talk about?
Nothing.
Everything.
He wanted to talk about everything.
She leaned against her seat, silently staring out the window, still breathing shakily. He began to speak but then hesitated. He wanted to tell her that everything would be alright, but he wasn't sure that it would.
In fact, things felt less like they would ever be alright again every time he thought those words, so he decided against it completely. He was silent the rest of the way to her house.
Their house. It was still their house.
He pulled into the driveway, shutting off the car wordlessly. He turned to her, but she didn't move. Finally, he got out of the car and made his way to her side, opening the door and waiting. She looked at him, eyebrows drawn together, and as she looked at him, her dry eyes filled with tears once again.
"Come on," he said and held his hand out to her. "Let's go inside."
She nodded and unbuckled her seatbelt, accepting his hand to help her out of the car and guide her toward the door. Their door.
They went inside quietly and he guided her to the bedroom. Their bedroom.
"You wanna get changed?" He asked.
She nodded. He removed his hands from her waist and made his way back toward the bedroom door.
"Wait-" she called after him. He turned to look at her, leaning on the door frame as he did. "Will you stay tonight? I just… I don't want to be alone."
"Of course." He stepped back into the room and went to his closet, knowing his dresser was empty, but a few things were left in here besides his formal wear that he didn't wear as often. He pulled out an old set of clothes that he had left there to change into just in case.
For a moment, he thought it was silly that they were going to get changed in different rooms, when they had seen each other so many times, but he wanted to be respectful and give Katie the space that she needed, so he made his way out into the bathroom and changed there.
When he returned to the bedroom, she was standing next to the bed, facing the door. She frowned, that sort of soft frown that sometimes fell upon her lips when she was trying her hardest not to let the expression show. Her lip quivered, and he was pulling her against his chest again.
"Will your girlfriend be okay with this?" She asked, muffled against his chest.
He stifled a laugh before responding. "I wouldn't call her my girlfriend, exactly. And I think, given the circumstances, it doesn't matter anymore." He told her. Katie shook her head and moved a little bit, but he didn't loosen his grip on her to let her get away. "Hey, stop. Just breathe. We aren't doing anything wrong. If it will make you feel better, I can sleep on the couch."
"That's just it Ned, I don't want you to. I just miss sharing a bed with someone…" She said as she wrapped her arms around him. "I miss you." She pressed her face into his chest for a moment before she turned back toward their bed. "But I can't truly be with you if you're with someone else. It makes me feel like I'm the other woman."
He followed her and got in on the opposite side of the bed, trying to get comfortable. "You could never be the other woman. Never." Exhaustion from the worst day he had seen in a while gripped him. That was saying something, since many of his days, days, and nights spent away from her, constituted the worst he had seen.
But tonight was different.
When Katie stirred against him that morning, he was already awake. Ned had been dreading the moment that she opened her eyes, blinked awareness in, and sent him away.
It didn't go quite that simply.
She reached over and shut off her alarm, then raised her head and looked at him, his eyes already trained on her. Then, without a word, she laid her head back against his chest. They may have fallen asleep apart, but they woke up together. He smiled to himself and tightened his grip around her shoulders.
It felt like old times. Like late nights spent in bed together, like grading homework in the glow of the lamp next to the bed. It felt like waking up the morning before a long road trip, sights set on Faith's nursing home on Christmas morning or the cabin on a warm summer day. It felt like five more minutes, like when she would try to pull him out of bed, but he would pull her back in with him. It felt like the passion they shared skin to skin beneath the sheets. It felt like everything he'd ever wanted was a possibility again.
"We should probably get up," she said. Way too soon.
He let his arms fall away from her after a beat too long, and she stood, getting out of bed. She didn't try to pull him out of bed with her. He didn't pull her back in. There were no soft laughs or morning kisses that led to more.
Katie walked to her dresser and began pulling out her clothes. He watched her from his place, leaning on the pillows behind him. "I'm going to take a shower. I have to get ready for work," she began, turning to look at him. She tilted her head to the side as she stared at him, and god, he wanted to smile. But he didn't. "What are you… do you have any plans today?"
Ned finally pushed himself out of bed. "Yeah, I'll, uh… I'll go. I have to get to work too." He began collecting his things, the clothes he'd changed out of the night before, a new outfit for the day. He'd shower at the precinct.
He could feel his change in demeanor. He was rushing to get his things, shying away from the feeling of her eyes on his back. He was almost through the door when he heard her voice.
"Ned," she called out and he stopped. He closed his eyes for a moment before turning to face where she stood on the landing of the stairs. "Thank you," she said, coming down the last few steps. Likely just to lock the door behind him. "For staying the night. I really appreciate it. I'll call you later?"
He nodded and then waved before quickly making his way out the door, out of their house, and down the block. He'd driven Katie's car back from her parents last night and had to walk the few blocks back to get his truck.
He didn't mind though. He could use the air and time to think.
He got his best thinking done when he was in the shower at the precinct as the hot water pelted him in the back. The water pressure was always too high and it stung as it rained over him, like thousands of tiny bullets.
Instead of piercing his skin, they rolled off, leaving him ultimately feeling warm and satisfied. Well, as satisfied as he could feel, given everything that was happening to him lately. After he was showered and dressed, he sat at a table in the break room.
Ned pulled out his phone and thought about breaking up with Becca over a text, but that was a cheap way out and he shoved it back into his pocket. Even when he had jumped from girl to girl back in his early college days he'd had the decency to do it in person.
"Ned? You're here pretty early." Jamison walked in, sitting down across from him.
He nodded, then looked back to the notecards. "I didn't sleep very well, so I figured I'd come here." He said. It was not technically a lie.
"You know you're always welcome to come over for dinner sometime," Jamison told him. "If you want some crappy takeout that is."
"Yeah, I know. Thanks." He shrugged, sighing. "That's not it. I have to figure out a way to end things… with Becca. Katie's ready to give me a second chance if I do."
Jamison looked at him suspiciously. "You truly are the luckiest man alive if that girl takes you back."
"Shut up." He looked up at his partner for a moment, then looked back down silently. "I know. We're taking baby steps. Going to start going to counseling."
His partner inspected him quietly, then nodded. "Okay. That's a good first step," Jamison said. "I'm happy for you. Truly, I am."
Ned smiled softly and opened his mouth to speak, but then Letrai entered the room. "Ned, Jamison," the captain called out. "I got a new case for you two. Follow me."
"You can tell me after the briefing," Jamison said on their way out of the break room. "Don't worry."
Ned wondered when Katie would call, but he never said it aloud. He checked his phone on the hour throughout his shift and he could tell that Jamsion noticed without his partner having to ask. "Katie said she would, but I don't know when." He muttered, tossing his phone into the cup holder with a sigh.
"Well, staring at your phone won't make her call you any quicker, kid." Jamison chuckled, shaking his head. "What's got you all messed up? Other than the usual? You never did tell me."
He sighed and rolled his eyes. "It's Katie. What else?"
His partner narrowed his eyes. "What happened? You didn't sleep with her did you?" He could feel Jamison's eyes on him as he took a deep breath and stared at his hands. "Oh god, you did. You idiot!"
His eyes snapped back up to his face again. "No, I'm not that stupid anymore. We were both at a barbecue at her parent's and we had a breakthrough in their kitchen… and then we kissed."
The car came to a stop at the light and Jamison's head turned. "She kissed you?"
He shrugged. "It sort of just happened. We both leaned in."
Jamison looked confused. "Then what's the problem?"
"The problem is I still have to break things off with Becca and I don't know how to. Last night was the first time my life has felt normal in months." He told him, sighing. "I drove her home and she asked me to stay. I should feel better than I do… but I still feel like I'm going to screw it all up."
His partner nodded but didn't look surprised. "You probably will," Jamison said offhandedly.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence." He muttered and glanced out the window.
Jamison groaned. "You know I was just fucking with you, kid. Katie will call you when she's ready to call you," his partner told him. "Stop thinking about it and call Becca and end things. You don't owe that girl damn thing."
And that's exactly what he did.
Ned didn't hesitate as he grabbed his phone and dialed her number. He didn't stutter or pause, even when Becca was crying on the other end.
Jamison was right.
He didn't owe that girl a damn thing, but he owed Katie a hell of a lot more.
"And what happened next?" Melinda asked, sipping on the green tea that she had bought her from Village Java. "Well besides making out with Ned in full view of everyone in the backyard because there's a window in the kitchen."
Katie sighed. She was having trouble recalling it all out loud. "He drove me home-" Her mother rolled her eyes because she already knew that too and wanted new information. "He promised to break things off with Becca, so I let him stay the night."
Melinda raised her eyebrows and leaned back in her chair. "Is that all?"
She nodded, almost defiantly. She knew that her mother was dragging her feet by forgiving Ned, but that didn't mean she had to do the same thing any longer. "We didn't do anything. He just stayed the night. We're going to start going to counseling."
"I see," Melinda sighed, crossing her arms. "And how do you feel about all of that? Is that what you want to do or is it another compromise? How do you know he's even actually planning to break things off with that girl?"
Katie's sudden burst of defiance faded as quickly as it arrived. She stared down at the floor. She wanted to have faith in Ned, but there was a slight doubt in the back of her mind. What if her mom was right and he was lying?
"He seems sincere," she confessed. "And as of this moment I don't have a reason to distrust him, but the veil of trust he had gained is thin."
"As long as you're keeping a clear head about it. I am just looking out for you as your mother," Melinda said, sighing. "Ned has broken your heart too many times for me to trust him completely."
That's when Emma alerted them both that she was awake from her morning nap by wailing in the backroom.
"Don't worry," she said and beat her mother to her feet. "I'll get her."
Melinda didn't hide her surprise when she made the first move. "Are you sure?"
Katie had still yet to hold her little sister after all this time. She'd worked up the courage to be around her, holding her was a different story. "Yeah. I'll get her," she said. "I have to get to work soon anyway. It's nearly nine."
The last baby that she had held was her son and had intended to keep it that way for as long as she could, but it was time. Or at least she kept trying to tell herself that now that she finally knew Charlie was at peace.
Emma calmed down considerably once the infant realized she wasn't alone when Katie came close enough to peer into the bassinet the four-month-old was lying in, but she didn't pick her up right away.
Melinda startled her when she slid her arm around her. "You don't have to hold her until your ready, bug. No one is pushing you." Her mom said before she turned to scoop her youngest sister up into her arms.
"I want to," she whispered. "But I… I couldn't do it."
"Thinking you're ready and being ready are two different things," Melinda said, rocking little Emma in her arms. "Especially when it comes to grief."
The four-month-old was big enough to turn her head and look at her big sister, even holding out a chubby little hand to her, but all Katie had the heart in her to do was smile at her. Even that felt like a chore. It still hurt far too much.
She couldn't help but think of her son as Emma looked curiously up at her with blue eyes. What color eyes would Charlie have had? She would never truly know. Her son had never opened them.
"I should go," she whispered and turned to her mother then, a sad smile on her face as she started toward the door. "I can't be here right now."
"Katie, wait—" Melinda said and set the baby down in her playpen beside her desk. "Delia, I need you to come up and keep an eye on Emma!"
"Mom. Don't. Just for once," she muttered, halfway out the door. "Leave it be. I'm fine. I have to get to work soon anyway."
Melinda didn't listen, but she didn't expect her to. Her mother never listened to anything anyone said to her unless it came out of her father's mouth and even then that was still never guaranteed.
"You're not fine! You're anything but fine, Katherine. I've sat by for months and let you do as you do because there's not much else I can do, but honestly I think it's extremely important that you talk to Ned about this." Melinda said, following her out onto the street when she tried to continue walking out the door. She didn't care about giving the people of Grandview a show. Especially not after nearly thirty years of living in this town. "You need to grieve your son together if you want to move forward with your lives. Punishing yourself by doing it alone isn't making anything better for you or Ned."
She thought about that a lot on her way to work. Her first few periods flew by and when she walked into the lounge to heat her lunch in the microwave, she was hit with a pang of guilt when she saw Toby checking her out and ignored him when he tried to talk to her on her way back to her classroom after.
But Katie's mind was elsewhere. She was thinking about that morning and how nice it was to see Ned beside her in bed in the morning again. More than nice.
But that was the easy part. Intimacy had always come easy to them, but communication always fell a little short. This was all so stupid. She had been so stupid to think she could get through her grief alone. How could she ever think that being away from him would be good?
It would have saved them both a lot of time and trouble if she would have started going to therapy and gotten back on antidepressants before deciding to separate.
Tears were stinging in her eyes as Katie sighed and pushed her pasta around with a fork when Hannah cleared her throat and she realized her friend had been there the whole time. "Oh, hi," she sniffled and wiped away the tears before they could fall. "I forgot about you coming."
Hannah had her eyebrows raised knowingly at her because they ate lunch together nearly every day unless the other had something to do, but neither of them said anything about it. Then she punched her in the arm.
"Ow! Hannah, what the fuck?" She cursed and narrowed her eyes, rubbing the spot on her arm. Her best friend didn't really hit her that hard, but she hadn't been expecting it. "What did I do?".
Hannah crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "Melinda called me. She's right, and you know that." Her best friend adjusted her posture and before she even spoke, Katie could tell she was going to do that mocking, high-pitched voice. She batted her eyelashes and twirled her hair around her fingers. "Hi, I'm Katie Clancy. Last night I made out with my estranged husband and then took him home without telling my best friend."
"We didn't have sex. He just brought me home because I was having a breakdown." Katie said, throwing her hands up in innocence when Hannah pulled her arm back to threaten her with another punch. "Okay, okay— I know that's not the point. I'm sorry I didn't fill you in immediately, but my mind has been all over the place since it happened." She couldn't change anything she'd done in the past, but somehow they had found their way back to each other and she wasn't going to fuck it up again. "So forgive me, but I've had other things on my mind."
"Yeah, well… understandable," Hannah said with a shrug. "But you know Toby is telling everyone that you, him, and Ned had a threesome, right?"
"What? Are you serious?" Katie shouted and set her food container down as she sat up, ready to go find Toby and give him a piece of her mind.
Hannah was laughing at her then and she relaxed back in her chair. Another joke. Great. "I just wanted to mess with you a little bit more, Katie. I'm sorry," her friend chuckled. "He did tell me you fucked him though. Which I hope isn't true."
"I went over there, but I didn't fuck him. God, no." She said, sighing because that wasn't the full truth and she knew Hannah could tell. "Okay he ate me out, but that's all he's good for. I mostly did it to make Ned jealous."
"Did it work?"
Katie felt her eyebrows pull together and she must have looked pretty pitiful because her best friend's expression softened. She nodded and opened her mouth to speak, but Hannah started up again before she had time.
"Hey, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I know about the girlfriend and everything else already from Melinda. I was just fucking around to hopefully make you feel better like old times." Hannah told her, sighing. "I can see that probably wasn't the best way to go about it because I know you're going through a lot right now, but you do know Ned is in love with you right? He may be selfish and a bit of an ass sometimes but he would do anything for you. Your mom may have her doubts, but if he told you he's going to break things off with her then he's going to."
This time, Katie didn't say anything. She was waiting for Hannah to continue, to interrupt her as she tried to answer. After a moment, she accepted that her friend actually wanted an answer, but she didn't know how to respond.
"I'm not sure what my mom told you, but we finally had a breakthrough last night. I had one with Delia too. That's why we kissed and I didn't have time to text you." She explained, sighing. "Then we went home together. It felt right… until it didn't. That's when I told him that I want to try again but I couldn't do it unless he would break things off with Becca… and he agreed."
"Blonde homewrecking bimbo. She goes to my gym." She made a face, but Hannah ignored her and continued. "I know we shouldn't slut-shame but the woman literally made out with your husband before you were separated and then he fucks her, and you're not mad about it?"
"Look, of course, I'm mad!" She said, feeling her anger that she'd buried her deep. "I want to throw a brick through her fucking windows and key whore on the side of her car, but Ned said she didn't know about me until after. So I'm trying to be the bigger person even if she basically posted their relationship on Instagram as a jab to me."
Hannah rolled her eyes. "The Katie I know and remember would have found her address and gone to confront her. Have you gone soft, Clancy?"
"What is confronting her going to do for me? I would rather get my husband back." She told her as if it was obvious. "It's the best revenge."
Her best friend had crossed her arms, but then quickly uncrossed them. "That does sound a little more like you. But how are you actually going to fix things with Ned?" Hannah asked.
"I have a plan, well, sort of." She replied nervously. "We're going to start going to counseling and taking baby steps from there."
"That's good," Hannah said. "Brandon and I went to a couple of sessions a while back after Jace was born. It was good for us. You know I'm always here if you need me, right?"
Finally, she smiled. "Thank you, Han. I do know that. I'm lucky to have a friend like you." The warning bell for the next period rang and she showed her out, opening her classroom door to the few students who were waiting outside. "I appreciate you coming to check-in."
"Don't say that too loudly," Hannah scoffed, but then turned to hug her quickly. "I have a reputation, you know."
Katie watched as her friend walked down the hall. It was full of students and staff, but she caught a glance of Toby. He looked her over, then turned his head back to Mr. Jones beside him.
Toby's expression wasn't malicious at all, but it made her feel sick, regardless. It made her want to call Ned and she had a few minutes before her next class, so she slipped into the storage closet she had to give herself some privacy from the few students gathered to do so.
"Hey, what's up?" Ned said, but he had answered on the second ring so she knew he'd been waiting for her to call.
She wanted to roll her eyes at his effort to be nonchalant, but she resisted the urge as though he could see her. "Can you stop by later?"
There was a slight pause, likely a look shared between him and Jamison before he replied. "Yeah, of course. Wanna have dinner?"
"Can we do it at your apartment?" She asked.
"...Sure." There was a hesitation there, but she tried to ignore it. "It's not the biggest place in the world."
"That's not a big deal, Ned." She reasoned, smiling a little at his need to impress her at all times. "I'll pick something up on the way and meet you there around six."
Ned walked the path from the precinct to the apartment (not his apartment. He wouldn't call this his apartment) countless times. He'd walked toward the steps, blank, empty, and resembling those of every other apartment in the building. Never had he seen them decorated so perfectly as they were while he walked toward them now.
Katie sat on the steps, her legs extended down onto the sidewalk, ankles crossed. She played idly with one of the buttons on her shirt. He wondered if she'd worn it to work or if she'd changed for him, but either way, she looked beautiful.
She was wearing a pink shirt, a blouse, she'd call it, tucked into a pair of jeans. The takeout bag took up space next to her. Their favorite Chinese place. He had never eaten their food without her.
She hadn't seen him yet. She was still looking at the sidewalk in front of her and he took the moment to stop a few feet away before he was in her line of sight and watched. He never used to watch her quite this closely.
He had learned to take advantage of it because now he never knew for sure when the next time he'd see her. He had to make the most of the moments that he got.
Katie smiled warmly as she caught him looking at her. She lifted the bag of food, an apparent peace offering. "I got extra egg rolls."
He continued walking toward her, smiling. "How did you get food and get here before me?"
She shrugged, then pushed herself up so that she was standing on the steps. "Time management skills" she teased, but only slightly. "But I may have let my study group out a little early."
He gasped. "Katie Clancy let her study group go early? Should I call the authorities? Wait- should I call myself?"
Katie laughed. "I just knew there would be a rush if I waited until right now. Trust me, the kids were happy to be let go."
He stepped past her to unlock the building and then led her to his door. "Come on," he said quietly, unlocking that door too. "It's not quite the nicest apartment, but it's-"
"It's really nice, Ned. A little smaller than the one you had before we got married, but it's nice." She tried to ease his discomfort as she walked over to the counter and then set the bag of food down. "I thought maybe we could put on something? Maybe something Marvel?"
"Whatever is fine," he shrugged. "We can watch something you like." He continued preparing the food while she made her way over to scour through his (their) DVD collection.
If he was going to receive bad news from her tonight, he wasn't going to let it taint his favorite movie series, too. He could picture himself watching the movie, on the brink of tears. Captain America's I can do this all day morphing in his mind into some mixture of Chris Evans' voice and Katie's saying I can't do this anymore. He shook the thought out of his mind and smiled at her when she turned to show him the cover of whatever romantic comedy with Blake Lively on the cover that she had chosen.
In the first half of the movie, they were mostly silent. They picked through their food, eaten directly out of the containers, with minimal conversation. She made faces at him putting too much food in his mouth, he laughed at her proper use of the chopsticks.
It felt like old times when he picked up the first fortune cookie, unwrapped it and held one side between his thumb and index finger, and extended his arm toward her. She looked at him with mild surprise on her face as they stared at one another, both unsure of what exactly to do next.
He was uncomfortable, his arm still extended toward her, but he waited silently for her next move. She set down the takeout box she was holding on the coffee table and shifted on the couch. Her legs were crossed, but now her thigh brushed against his. She linked her arm around his, taking the other end of the cookie in her hands.
Normally, they would have kissed.
She looked at him, eyes flashing to his lips momentarily. He leaned closer, nudging her face gently to the side and pressing a soft kiss against her cheek. They broke the cookie together.
They pulled their arms apart, both picking at their halves of the cookie. Ned pulled the fortune out of his side. "Guess that means I get to read it, huh?" He smirked at her.
He was possibly known for making up a phrase instead of actually reading the fortune. She rolled her eyes at him. He looked down at the fortune cookie and paused. He looked up at her and then put the little slip of paper into his lap.
"What does it say?" She asked.
He shrugged. "It's nothing. Maybe we should just watch the movie."
"No," she laughed a little as she reached for the paper, but he quickly grabbed it again, moving it to his side. "Ned, what is it?"
"You probably won't believe me," he sighed. "It says an old love will come back to me. Is it true?"
This was their little ritual. They broke open the fortune cookies together. They only read one slip, because their fortunes should be shared as a couple, or at least that was what Katie had always told him.
"I want it to be," she whispered. "I really do. Is that what you want?"
He nodded. "I broke things off with Becca and I just miss you, Katie." He said as he pulled her closer to him on the couch, the takeout containers were long forgotten.
She rested half in his lap and he dotted gentle kisses from her jaw down her neck. "Ned, we really should talk." She frowned, pulling away from him slightly. "I miss you, too. But I think we should maybe get it all out there."
He nodded, leaning against the arm of the sofa. "Okay. Go ahead."
She took a deep breath and started explaining everything that had been happening to her, everything that she had been avoiding telling him for months. Words that she had been keeping to herself from long before they decided to separate.
Katie told him about therapy, about the antidepressants, about how she had been feeling like she wasn't her. Like the old her, the version of her before Charlie's death was dead. She mentioned thinking that that meant she had to lose him too, but realizing how wrong she was once she was feeling like herself again.
She told him that she loved him, that she wanted him, and that she was sorry.
"I've talked to my doctor and my mom about this so many times. They both always say I should talk to you about all of this. That we need to grieve together. So… I figured I'd finally give it a try." She sighed, wiping away tears as he could tell she was trying to stay calm.
"Katie, I wish you could've felt comfortable telling me this sooner but I'm glad you finally can." He said, feeling as though a weight had been lifted off them both. Ned opened his arms to offer her the place against his chest. She gratefully accepted, and he shifted and pulled her against him. He held her tightly, running his fingers through her hair. "I am sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn't come to me before… I really am."
"It wasn't that you made me feel that way. My own insecurities did it, Ned. I thought that I wasn't worthy enough for your forgiveness… a part of me still doesn't." She explained in the best way she could, looking up at him sincerely. "Everything else just pushed me over the edge."
He looked away. "You mean what I did," he muttered.
She smiled sadly at him, resting her palm on his cheek. "We both did things that helped bring us to where we are, Ned. Let's not dwell on them if they are done and over with."
He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, eventually placing his hand on hers. When he opened his eyes again, her smile was much happier.
"I have something better to tell you… about our son." Her following breath was shaky and she held onto him tightly. "Mackenzie saw him. He's at peace."
He knew that was something she had always worried about. She had never seen him and neither of them knew what that meant. Melinda hadn't known what to say to them either.
"Katie… that's wonderful." He said, feeling tears in his own eyes. "I'm glad you told me."
She paused to compose herself and take another deep breath. "I figured that you would want to know as much as I did."
He nodded his head, though he knew she couldn't see it from where she was tucked into his arms. "It was something that crossed my mind from time to time. I figured we would have an answer at some point. I know who I married."
She turned to look at him, keeping her side against his chest. "What if I can't have children?"
"Hey, no. Look at me, Katie, I don't care about that if that's what it comes down to. We can adopt, hell, we could even foster." He waited for her to look up at him, then he pushed her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. "I said for better or worse and I meant it, you know."
"I know, but-"
"No ifs, ands, or buts, babe." He reasoned, running his hands down the side of her arm. "You're the first thing I think about in the morning, Katie. Every day, without fail. Not just this whole time that we've been apart. Not just since we got married. Not even just since we started dating. For years. Everything's better with you in my life."
Slowly, Katie adjusted her position so she could see his face again. Both of their eyes were glistening. It was a moment that he would have burned into his brain.
He cupped her cheek to ensure she listened to him. "I don't just want to have kids. I only want to be a parent with you, Katie. So if you want to get a divorce, if that's what you really want to do, do not let that be part of your reason." He told her softly, making sure she knew he was sincere. "I would consider myself lucky if I got to live the rest of my life with just you by my side. Being your husband and a detective? That would be a full, happy life for me. I don't need anything extra. Anything else on top of that would just be a bonus."
She looked so gentle, still sort of unsure as she lifted her own hand to his face. Her thumb traced over his cheekbone, wiping away a stray tear that she found there. He leaned down and caught her in a kiss, soft and giving and kind and everything he had been wanting to give her.
They stayed that way, curled up on the couch together, the sound of a completely neglected movie playing in the background as they hesitantly pushed their boundaries. They were still perfect together, of course, but there was so much to relearn.
He traced her bottom lip with his tongue, clumsily working to remember the perfect pressure of his lips on hers. He traced his fingers along her jawline as he kissed her and when it was over, far too soon, she hid her face in his neck, breathing falling unevenly against his collarbone.
"I love you, too, Ned. So much," she confessed, holding him close like if she let go he would disappear again.
He smiled softly as he kissed her temple. "So… What does this mean?" He asked after a few minutes, still holding her against him and tracing shapes into the fabric of her shirt on her back.
She looked up at him. "Actually, can we talk about the logistics of all of this tomorrow? I'm just kind of exhausted after everything we've already shared. And if it's okay with you, I've really just missed being with you like this."
"Of course," he whispered into her hair. Even without talking about it, he felt a confidence that he hadn't felt in months.
A few hours later, she was crawling into his bed, dressed in one of his favorite old shirts and a pair of his sweatpants. He pulled her into his lap again.
"I'm sorry, I just want you close," he whispered against her skin. "Tell me if I'm making you uncomfortable."
"No, this is perfect," she said, tucking herself into his arms. "Trust me, I will let you know."
He laughed quietly. "Is this even real? It feels like a dream come true." He turned his head and inhaled deeply, the familiar scent of her shampoo grounding him.
She laughed softly along with him, then pulled away slightly. "Hey, Ned?" She placed her hand on his face, rubbing little circles with her thumb. "Of course this is real."
He wrapped her into a hug, then pulled her down with him so they were relaxed into the pillows.
"Hey, are you okay?" She asked and he could hear the concern in her voice. "Are we going too fast?"
He shook his head, smiling as her hair spilled off of the pillow and onto his chest. "No. This is just a lot for me to readjust to, but I'm here with you. Nothing could get any better than that."