A/N: I thought that this would be the last chapter but hahaha almost. We're almost there. Enjoy! xx Mariah
"Hi, sweetheart," Ned greeted her enthusiastically as they waited for their counselor to arrive. "You look beautiful."
"Thanks," Katie replied, and he was grateful when she let him lean in and kiss her on the lips, his hand lingering on her back without pulling away.
There was a slit on the back of her shirt and her skin was soft under his fingertips—it made him think of the night before—and the bright blue color also set off her eyes. She had paired it with a black skirt that hugged her gentle curves and a pair of black high-heeled shoes.
Ned figured that she hadn't intended the outfit to be sexy, but he found it to be exactly that. "Hot date later?" He couldn't help teasing her, but the thought of her going out with another man had his brain short-circuiting.
She laughed. "No, this is what I wore for the last day of school today. The AC has been shit at the high school since before we went there," she said, nudging him. "Besides, the only hot dates I have lately are the ones I have with you."
"That's good to hear," he said, smiling. "And speaking of… want to have dinner tomorrow night?"
"You have a Friday off? Wow. Sure. Who knows when that will happen ever again," she replied, and he loved that there was no hesitation in her response. "I'm dying for Mexican food."
"Then Mexican food it is." He was about to lean in for another kiss when their marriage counselor showed up and apologized for making them wait.
Dr. Roberts unlocked the office door and ushered them inside, where Ned and Katie took their usual positions on the sofa. Once they exchanged their greetings, the counselor gave them a look before asking his first question. "So, did you work on the homework assignments I gave you?"
They both nodded. "We did," she replied softly.
"And how did it go?" Dr. Roberts asked.
"We got through it," Ned told him. "We had a real conversation about real things. Fuck, it was hard and painful—but we didn't scream at each other or argue."
The therapist pushed up the sleeves of his black corduroy blazer, which he wore over a dark green Led Zeppelin t-shirt. "And what did you talk about?" Dr. Roberts probed gently.
Ned looked over to see his wife tracing an invisible pattern on the inside of her knee with her fingernails, but she remained silent. "How we both want to get back to what we used to be—best friends and lovers and spouses, true partners. But the fact remains that we hurt each other badly, and that hurt and mistrust caused us to shut down." He explained. "Well, I hurt her. Katie might've pushed me away, and while that stung, I was the one who cheated."
When she finally spoke, Katie's voice was rusty. "I am committed to trying and putting his mistakes behind us because like he said I've made my own as well—" she replied quietly, pausing. "God, every time he brings that up... it still hurts so badly. I just want to move forward."
"Understandable," Dr. Roberts said and was scribbling down in his notebook for a moment before he looked up again. "As we continue to look toward the future, we need to talk about goals. That was the other homework assignment I gave you."
"My goal is to save our marriage," Ned piped up immediately after having been silent for some time.
"And I told him that I can't be his only goal," she replied just as quickly. He didn't sense any irritation in her tone, though. "I can't be his only focus. That would just make me feel suffocated and would put pressure on me."
"That is true, but I was actually talking about something a little different," Dr. Robets replied. "I wanted to know where you thought your relationship would have been by this point in your marriage. Let's pretend for a minute that this terrible year or so never happened. Katie, what would you have liked your marriage to be like?"
He heard her inhale deeply from her side of the sofa. She paused a moment before answering. "If everything hadn't gotten derailed, our son would be a few months old by now." Her voice caught slightly, and he reached over to take her hand, rubbing the back of it.
"Okay," Dr. Roberts replied, his tone gentle. "But how would things have been between you and Ned?"
"Good, I guess." She sighed. "I think we still would've had some fights about things, but we'd have gotten through them like we always had. It definitely would've been very different from the way things actually turned out."
He didn't let go of her hand as the doctor considered her reply and then turned to him. "How else would you have pictured things, Ned?" Dr. Roberts asked.
"I believe that we would've been happy; our marriage would've been stable. I mean, things were never perfect between us, but we would've been happy and I wouldn't have been at the bar that night. I also think that we would've planned some type of nice celebration of our upcoming wedding anniversary—and would've kidded around about not making it past the one-year mark without getting pregnant." He said, glancing over at his wife. She smiled sadly and the sight of it broke Ned's heart. "But as I said, we would have just been happy with each other, and Charlie would have made things even better."
"Do you really think that's true? The reason I'm asking is that I think we've already established that there were little cracks in your relationship before you got married," Dr. Roberts added, "and bringing a baby into a relationship can sometimes make things even more stressful."
Katie nodded at the therapist's question, still not releasing his hand. "Yes, but before all of this, before we lost our son, I was a different person." She said, sighing. He could tell she was on the verge of tears. "I don't know if Ned can say the same, but a part of me died with our son that day and it took me a long time to realize that it wasn't my fault. I still have my days where that lingering thought catches up with me... and somehow became some stronger version of myself, but I pushed away my husband in the process, and look where that got me. But before? Never in a million years would we have wound up like this. While there were times we drove each other crazy and had bitter arguments, a baby would've brought us even closer together, not farther apart."
Ned knew his wife well enough by now to know that the stubbornness in her tone meant she wasn't going to back down.
Dr. Roberts must have sensed it, too, because he changed the direction of his questioning toward him next. "Last week you said that you would've been happy about becoming a father. Did the two of you talk about becoming parents before?"
"Of course. We always wanted a family at some point," he acknowledged, glancing at her hesitantly before he continued. "When we found out about Charlie it was a surprise, but I was on board right away. Katie was the one who was hesitant because she was still in school, and it's totally understandable."
"Is that true, Katie?" the doctor asked.
Her voice was so low that he had to strain to hear her. "Yes. A part of me was scared about not being prepared for it. I know that babies change your life and I liked our life. We traveled when we wanted to, went out when we felt like it and didn't have to worry about childcare when we had to work crazy hours. Hell, we were able to have sex on the couch on a Wednesday afternoon if we felt like it—and be as loud as we wanted to while we were doing it. Having a baby would've meant that all of that would've had to change. Plus I hadn't even graduated or gotten my teaching license yet. It just wasn't in my plan for us right then."
"But you had a change of heart? Many people do, but no one can ever truly be prepared for being a parent. You think it's going to be a certain way, but when it happens?" The doctor chuckled. "It ain't nothin' like you thought it would be. I can attest to that as a father myself."
They both laughed at the mock grimace on Dr. Roberts' face before Katie turned serious again. "Yeah. But I think that we would've been ready for it." She said softly. "I've seen my parents do it and while I was just a child, I know a lot more now than I did back then. Plus, we would've had help when we needed it."
"I don't doubt that you and Ned will be fine parents if you two decide that's what you want." Dr. Roberts said with a sad smile. "But what holds you back from the idea? Do you still blame yourself?"
Ned knew the answer to that question, but Katie didn't answer at first.
"What does that have to do with anything?" She muttered. "I already told you that."
"Humor me," the doctor said flatly. "When you were pregnant, did you talk to the baby, rub your tummy, do any of that stuff that other expectant mothers do?"
She nodded, a puzzled expression still on her face. "Yes. Of course. I would play music for him too... and he would kick whenever I played Taylor Swift." He watched her unconsciously move a hand to her stomach.
"But especially when I played ACDC," he said.
He wanted to cheer her up and the smile that appeared on her face seemed genuine, but he could tell it didn't reach her eyes. "Sure, babe," she said and squeezed his hand.
"And when you went to the hospital and you were dying, Ned said you told him to save your son over you." Dr. Roberts probed lightly. "Is that right?"
"Yes, but we got there too late," he answered when he saw Katie's tears rolling down her cheeks freely. "We waited too long to go in."
"That is true, but you couldn't have known." Dr. Roberts shared a glance with him before looking over at his wife. She wiped the tears away from her eyes as the doctor handed her a box of tissues and leaned forward in his chair. "Katie, you were willing to give your life for your child. Not every mother can say they would do that."
She waved it away as Ned wrapped his arm around her and she leaned her head on his shoulder. Leaning down, he kissed the top of her head. "Sweetheart, it wasn't your fault—the doctors told us that it could've happened for any number of reasons. It was out of your control." He told her like always did, but it never seemed to work quite as well anymore. "You're a powerful woman, but even you couldn't have prevented it from happening."
"Intellectually, rationally, I know that," she answered.
He shook his head firmly. "You can't think like that, honey." He needed her to stop feeling this way; it wouldn't do her any good, and it just wasn't true. "I really, truly believe that it wasn't meant to be this time, but when it is you'll be a wonderful mother."
"Ned's right," Dr. Roberts told her quietly. "When I said those things, I wasn't implying that you should feel guilty, I just had a hunch that you were having those kinds of thoughts. But you shouldn't, Katie. What happened wasn't your fault, and you shouldn't blame yourself."
"I meant it when I said that you'll be a great mom. I know it in my heart." He raised their joined hands and placed them over his heart. "If we can make it through all of this, I would love for you to be the mother of my children. I have no doubts about your parenting abilities, none at all."
When Katie gave him a sweet smile, Ned felt like his words had sunk in for her a little. He leaned over and planted a gentle kiss onto her lips and was gratified when she returned it. She leaned her face into his chest for a moment to collect herself before pulling back.
"Ned, we've been talking about Katie's fears about becoming a mother, but what about yours?" Dr. Roberts asked him. "You lost your father when you were young. Are you nervous about becoming a father one day?"
He regarded the doctor pensively. "Yes and no," he admitted after a moment. "I mean like you said I lost my dad, but I was blessed with an amazing mom. She was there for every game and every school event, and she always let me know that she was proud of me… sometimes a little too much. I've always been a little worried that I won't be able to live up to that. I have a crazy work schedule and every day there's a chance I might not come home if a call goes wrong."
"Really?" Katie asked, the surprise in her tone was evident as she looked up at him.
"Yeah," he sighed with a shrug "You know that your dad has always been there for me too, and those are big shoes to fill."
"Ned, I always picture you as a totally hands-on dad. You know changing diapers and getting up in the middle of the night without a fuss, grabbing your phone to record the baby's first steps, and going to every play and pageant and game that you could…" She informed him almost shyly. "It's one of the reasons I knew no matter what when we found out about Charlie that we would be alright. I always thought you'd be really great at it."
Even after everything they'd been through, it amazed him that Katie still had so much confidence in him. "Thanks, babe. That means a lot."
"Okay, so we've talked about parenthood and what you thought your marriage would've been like if you hadn't gone through everything that happened over the last year. All tough topics, to be sure, but there's something else I want to ask before we wrap up." Dr. Robert said. "If you can get your relationship to a good place, where would you like your marriage to be a year from now?"
"As you said, we've already covered the topic, but I'd like to see us thinking about trying again for a baby," Ned replied. "Besides that, I'd like things to be normal between us. I'd like to come home from work and grill out on the patio on a Tuesday night. I'd like to go out with our friends on a Saturday night. I'd like to have Sunday dinner at my mom's or her parent's. I'd like to take Katie away so we could have that honeymoon we never got. That's all. I'm tired of us fighting and I'm tired of living apart. I just want normalcy again."
"Katie? How about you?" Dr. Roberts asked.
"I want us to be able to talk to each other—really talk to each other. I want to be able to tell my husband what I'm thinking and feeling without it turning into an argument if it isn't what the other person wants to hear, and for him to do the same. I don't want to go back to hiding things from each other out of fear about what the other person will say or do. I want to feel happy when I walk into my house or when I see or talk to my husband and not dread it. It wasn't like that over the last year, and I want to get back to that place again."
"And children?" Dr. Roberts pressed her. "Do you still want children?"
"I think that I could be ready to think about trying again in a year if we're still together," she said carefully, but then glanced over at him. "But if we were to still go through with the divorce at some point, I don't think I would be ready for a long time. Either way, I'll probably always be scared of what could happen."
"And that's okay," he quickly told her. "Because I'll help you to work through those fears."
"Those are good goals—very realistic." Dr. Roberts said. "And a great way to end today's session."
The Mexican restaurant where Ned took her on Friday night wasn't fancy, by any means, but they both loved the authentic cuisine—as did everyone else in the area because it was consistently packed.
After they placed their orders, Katie excused herself to go to the ladies' room. She had felt a slight edge of nerves creeping in since he had picked her up at the house earlier that evening, and she didn't know if it was because she was nervous about having another serious talk with him during the evening or if she was anxious about whether they'd have sex again after dinner.
The way he'd touched her during their last date had been delicious. Tonight, she could feel that familiar old twinge of arousal just from being around her husband, and she was happy. She felt normal again.
She used the restroom then washed her hands, pressing her cool, damp hands against her slightly flushed cheeks to try and lower her internal temperature. After reapplying her lipstick, Katie made her way back to the table, and the sight that greeted her made her breath catch in her throat.
A very pretty, very shapely brunette was standing at the table, smiling at Ned. The girl couldn't have been more than twenty, and the way she was flipping her hair and fluttering her eyelashes at him made her positive that the brunette was flirting with her husband. Just as she felt her stomach clench, she saw her husband point to his wedding ring. The smile he gave the brunette wasn't overly friendly, nor did he appear to be checking out the girl's figure, which was being shown off in a tight, short, black dress.
Once the girl walked away, Katie forced herself to take a deep breath before pasting a smile onto her face and sitting down in her chair. "So, I see they brought our drinks over," she said, injecting a lightness into her tone that she definitely didn't feel as she pointed to the margaritas they'd ordered.
Ned looked nervous, she noted, but not guilty. "I know you saw her. I'm sorry. She came over here to ask if I was here with a friend but I told her I was married—"
"I believe you and you don't have to apologize," she replied and was surprised to discover that it was true. From what she had seen, he hadn't been sending the brunette any signals to indicate that he was interested. Her fears subsided as she took a sip of her drink.
"Thank you. That means a lot," he smiled, the relief in his tone evident. "Just like I told you the other night, I'm not interested in anyone else. I'm just so happy to be here with you—and you're the most beautiful woman in the entire restaurant. You look so gorgeous in that dress, babe, and incredibly sexy."
Katie ducked her head, pleased by his compliment. She'd picked the short-sleeved, emerald-hued dress because the shade paired well with her hair and her complexion and because it showed off her long legs to perfect advantage and a decent amount of cleavage. "Thanks. So, have you tried your mango margarita yet?"
"Yes, and it's delicious—here, try some." Ned pushed his glass across the table and she took a sip. The fruity, icy concoction was truly delectable, and she didn't even taste the alcohol. "Right?"
"Wow," she said and passed hers over from him to try. "I really need to learn how to make these from home—they'd be great for a backyard barbecue or a taco party."
After he had tasted her raspberry one and proclaimed it even better than his, his expression turned serious. "Babe? Can we talk about something that I've been thinking about since therapy last night?"
She nodded, suddenly feeling anxious again. "Sure."
He took a tortilla chip and dipped it into the spicy salsa bowl in the center of the table before speaking. "You said you still wanted a family."
"Of course. At some point." She said, taking a sip of her drink. "Do you?"
"I do. I definitely do." Ned bit into the chip, bringing his napkin up to his chin to prevent a drop of salsa from splattering onto the tabletop. It broke the tension and they both laughed. "I know this is hard... for both of us, but especially you."
She reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "I will tell you when I'm ready. I promise." The smile that Ned gave her made her heart melt—and the flesh between her thighs clench with arousal. "We need to fix our problems first before we get there."
He brought her hands to his lips. "That's all I wanted to hear," he said. "I don't want to rush you."
"I know," she agreed.
Just then, the waitress came by with their meals, piping hot dishes of chicken enchiladas, black beans simmered with jalapeños and garlic, and beef chimichangas with rice and beans. Once the waitress left, he grinned at her. "I have to admit that I am so happy I got to be with you tonight. We can truly celebrate the end of the school year for you."
"You're too kind. How's work been for you though," she asked as she picked up a forkful of rice.
He sighed. "Lots of paperwork and stakeouts. We're tracking this new drug that's causing a spike in ODs." The less than hopeful note in his tone made her laugh. "Though it's not as fun as our ghostly stakeouts."
"You just want an excuse to text me all the time. Should've known."
Ned grinned as he took a bite of his enchilada. "What can I say?" He chuckled. "It has always been a lot of fun, trying to distract you."
"Yeah, trying to keep your hand from snaking underneath my skirt or from creeping beneath my shirt was definitely a distraction," she teased.
"I couldn't help it!" he defended himself playfully.
"Hmm," she said, trying and failing to keep her lips from turning up into a smile.
He teased her back. "Come on, you loved it, too."
"Maybe." She took a long sip of her drink and regarded him from over the top of her glass. "So if I ask you to maybe blow off one of our date nights and come with me to trail a ghost, you wouldn't be pissed?"
"Nope—to tell the truth, I kind of miss it. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't try to get some kind of a reward from you afterward." He waved his fork in her direction before popping some beans into his mouth.
"Only if you were a good boy and didn't prevent me from getting my work done," she said with a wink.
After they had finished dinner, Katie and Ned split a lime tart, the creamy-cool consistency and slight acidity of the dessert a perfect contrast to their flavorful meals. The conversation during the rest of their meal kept a decidedly lighter tone, and she couldn't help but remember hundreds of date nights like this one—sharing meals, sharing laughter and jokes, and both of them feeling completely at ease around each other.
When he pulled into the driveway, Ned kept the car running as he leaned over to kiss her. "I had such a nice time with you tonight, baby," he told her, his lips warm and tender on hers.
She kissed him back. "I did, too. Did you want to come in for a little while? I know you haven't fully moved back in or anything—"
"I would love that," he told her between kisses, "I just didn't want to presume."
Katie reached over and undid his seatbelt. "Just for a little while, if you don't want to stay."
"I want to stay. I'm not going anywhere," he said and when they got out of the car, she took his hand and led him to the front door.
As she fished for her keys in her purse and fumbled to unlock the door, he wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face into the side of her neck, planting soft kisses there. "Stop distracting me," she told him, but there was no heat in her words.
"Can't help it—you smell so damn good and you're so warm," he replied, his voice muffled by her skin.
The minute she had the door open, they all but stumbled inside the heat a welcome respite from the cold evening air. Ned immediately pulled her close, kissing her lips again; Katie was so consumed by the feel of his mouth on hers that she immediately went limp, her purse slipping out of her hand and dropping to the floor.
"Should we go upstairs?" he murmured.
His words snapped her back to reality, and she pulled away slightly. "No," she told him, pressing her fingers to her lips. "No, we shouldn't. Not quite yet."
He immediately stepped back, putting his hands up. "I'm sorry, I—I didn't mean to rush you. I can leave."
She shook her head. "No, you don't have to go, but we can't just get sucked back into just the sex... We need more than that to stay." Her body was telling her otherwise, but Katie knew it wouldn't be smart to give in to her urges.
"That's okay. We can take this as slow as you'd like," he said, sliding his jacket off. "No pressure, okay?"
Relaxing, she unbuttoned her coat, smiling when Ned gently eased it off her shoulders. "Thank you. I really appreciate all of the compromises you've made."
"Of course." He hung both her coat and his in the closet before coming back to place his hands on her shoulders. "Baby, I don't want to do anything to make you uncomfortable—I just want to spend time with you, and if that means we just talk or cuddle, I'm totally okay with it."
She smiled. "Well, we can still have sex, Ned. I just... I invited you in because I didn't want our night to end." She confessed, her cheeks flushing red. "Suddenly, I feel like a teenager again."
Ned laughed, taking her hand and tugging her towards the living room. "If you really want to take a tour down memory lane, let's put on the TV and pretend to watch whatever's on."
She sat on the couch and patted the cushion next to hers before leaning over to grab the TV remote, thumbing the channel button up until she found a movie. He settled down beside her and took the remote from her hand, placing it back onto the coffee table.
"I know I've told you this a million times, but you look so unbelievably sexy tonight. That dress…mmmm." His voice vibrated with appreciation. "Shows off those hot legs of yours and clings to that perfect ass—it's a ten, babe."
"Perfect?" She asked.
"Hell yeah," he told her, sliding his hand onto her bare knee. The contact of his skin on hers made her feel tingly. "Firm and tight and perfect. And those legs… whenever you wear a pair of shorts in front of me, it takes all of my strength not to stare." Ned stroked his palm up a little higher on her thigh when she didn't stop him, setting off a series of pulsations at her core. "Can you blame me? You have the best legs I've ever seen, and that's still true today. Now at least I know what it feels like and looks like to have you wrap them around me during sex…"
Katie wished he hadn't mentioned sex; as it was, she was already incredibly aroused. "So, it was just my body that you wanted back then?" She teased.
"Well, it was definitely a plus." She playfully hit him and he chuckled. "I wanted your body and your heart—and that's still true today as well. I want all of you. Body and soul."
Later on, Katie wouldn't have been able to swear whether he'd moved in for the kiss first, or she had, but their mouths met in a desperate collision that was almost brutal in its force. His hand slid up her skirt and she fisted her hands in his hair as their tongues clashed.
She hated him. She wasn't going to do this, but fuck, she wanted him. "Touch me," she whimpered, sliding onto her back and pulling him down on top of her. "Please..."
"How?" he panted, pulling his lips from hers. His dark eyes were heavy-lidded and smoldering with desire as he looked down at her.
"Hands, mouth, I don't care." She panted, begging him. "Just please…"
Ned yanked up her skirt to expose her panties, bunching up the dress just under her stomach. His lips traced a path down her body and Katie gasped as he began licking her inner thighs, getting closer and closer to the place where they met. He pushed her panties down to her ankles in one quick motion and she kicked them off.
"Do it," she managed to get out, her voice husky with arousal. "Go down on me—please. God, it's been so long since you did."
When Ned suddenly plunged his tongue into her, she nearly shrieked with pleasure. "That's right, baby—keep making those sexy little sounds," he told her, his voice muffled as he continued to lap at her sensitive inner flesh. "Tell me how much you like it."
He grabbed her thighs to open them even wider, draping her legs over his shoulders, forcing her to move her hand to his hair, tugging as he licked her in even firmer strokes
She should be running cold with the AC on, but how could she with his face buried between her thighs? His eyes, a cutting green, slowly opened to watch her face and how she was helpless. His laughter vibrated against her inner thigh when he finished another taunting swirl around her aching clit.
"Don't be an asshole," she hissed out, fingers threaded in his hair and precariously balancing on one heeled foot. Her other leg got casually slung over her husband's broad shoulder, dangling over and down his back.
More laughter came from Ned, who pressed a barely-there kiss against the innermost dip in her thigh. He relished her impatience when he toyed with her, teased her to the edge of getting fucked before denying the pay-off. "But I thought you liked when I'm an asshole," he whispered with another leisurely flick of his tongue against her clit to throw her off.
Katie's eyes rolled back, and her grip on his hair tightened, likely going to mess up his meticulous styling. She hissed out several curses when his probing fingers spread her legs wider, and the flat of his tongue pressed- oh right there. "I could kill you right about now," she threatened, but the suggestion was harmless. Her breathing came fast, shallow, and thoroughly wrecked from the relentless edging from her husband.
He stopped and flashed her a cheeky smirk from where he knelt between her legs, thumbing at his lips to clean them. "You've had plenty of chances, babe. Then again, I don't think you would want to admit that to a cop, especially not after I fuck you so good that you won't walk straight for the next three days." He teased her.
"Oh, is that so?" She tilted his head back so she could look at him, her lips quivering into a knowing smirk. "It seems like you're talking too much when your mouth could be occupied with better things."
Ned was unwilling to argue with such sound logic, merely nodded, and leaned forward. He devoted his attention to pleasing her, deriving enjoyment from the breathy moans escaping her. His silver tongue explored without reservation and paid extra attention to her clit. While his tongue caressed and lavished the sensitive spot with sloppy, heated affection, his fingers nestled deep inside of her heat to a surprised cry, which caused her legs to tremble involuntarily. He felt drunk on the power that knowledge gave him.
Even while distracted, she remained an active participant and encouraged his bad behavior. She used her grip on his hair to guide him and impatiently rode against his tongue. She craved heat and friction, wondering how needy it sounded to beg for his cock inside of her.
Good God, she was so horny, and for what? She had been busy and stressed the last few days with all of the drama surrounding their marriage. But this? It came with the gorgeous sight of her husband on his knees and letting her ride his face.
Say what she will about Ned, but he knew how to please her and keep her satisfied. She'd willingly give him that with minimal coaxing on his part. She had to keep him humble, or his ego might get even bigger than the size of Jupiter.
"Ne-" Katie tried to stutter out his name, but words suddenly became a foreign concept. She'd be lucky to remember what her name was at that point. Her stomach felt as taut as a bowstring, all hot with an aroused flush spreading across her milky white skin.
From between her legs, his eyes opened again and met hers. He could see the red of her face that felt reminiscent of blush, her free hand frantically gripping the edge of the couch like an anchor, her dark hair falling around her face, and how her upper body arched forward from the surmounting pleasure. On the cushion beside her, his phone started buzzing with an incoming call. She wanted to ignore it, and she tried, pushing out the stern voice telling her to let him pick it up.
It was probably a telemarketer or his mother, at least she hoped. All she could think about was Ned's tongue while the phone rang and went to voicemail. Then, it rang through again.
The third time had him growling in annoyance during an interlude for breath, and she decided that, for both their sakes, she would answer the call. She picked up the phone with her free hand and purposely tucked it between her shoulder and ear. The hand in her husband's hair stayed put while the other one returned to a white-knuckled grip along with the couch cushion. "Yes?"
"Oh, Katie. Is Ned busy?" Katie could barely focus on anything being said to her by LeTrai, overwhelmingly fixated on the sounds her husband made with every thrust of his fingers inside of her. This was his boss. She had to keep her cool. But with two of Ned's fingers buried deep and his mouth unraveling her, and if trying not to moan was a challenge, then trying not to breathe too heavily into the phone was damn near impossible. "I can call back later. This was just a personal call. Nothing about work."
"I-" She stuttered when LeTrai questioned whether she could hear him, but words were a little difficult. "Ned will call you back later." Katie hung up before anything else could be said, not concerned with it. She needed to get off the phone. Eyes dropped down to her husband, who stared at her with amusement. "Fuck you. You should've answered it."
"God, you are so fucking sexy," he whispered, teasing against her skin. She didn't need to ask him twice about what he should be doing because he promptly renewed his efforts. "You didn't have to answer. Who was it?"
"Your boss," she said and nearly slammed her fist into the couch when Ned decided that he had enough teasing.
Ned could feel the beat of her heart radiating off her as he sucked on her clit and fucked her to the edge of orgasm with his fingers. It struck unexpectedly, hitting her hard as she came, shocked still when he abruptly pulled his fingers out of her. She didn't watch him as he slowly cleaned them off, tasting her on them.
He would argue that her face was the best part, especially knowing he was the cause for it. It boosted his ego. His eyes took in some of the after of her climax trickling down her thigh, so he pressed his tongue against it and cleaned it up. Unlike before, he moved slowly and with intention beyond making her turn to jelly. He gently angled his wife's thigh and cleaned her up with his tongue.
Katie let out a shuddering, quiet moan, "Baby, that was so good." She regained enough feeling in her leg to drop it from his shoulder, nearly getting stopped by him in the process. He let her go without a fight, wanting more with how tight his pants were against his straining cock.
As he stood, his eyes narrowed upon noticing her hardened nipples poking through her dress, and his hand wandered underneath the hem. He discovered bare flesh for her full breasts, and his eyes darkened drastically. "Did you not wear a bra on purpose? Naughty-" His hand squeezed one breast underneath her dress, tempted to tear the garment off. As much as he liked how it looked on her, the sight of her breasts bouncing when they made love was unparalleled.
She turned his face toward her with a look on her face that told him she had a plan in motion, "Take me upstairs."
"By all means, anything you want." He said and picked her up in his arms seamlessly.
"I love you," Ned whispered as he bent down to kiss Katie's forehead. He was fully dressed, his hair combed, while she was still in her damn nightgown. She had followed him downstairs, unable to let him go just yet even though he'd gotten called into work, but he wasn't in much of a hurry either. "I'm sorry I couldn't stay." He opened the door a notch and gave her a crooked smile.
"It's not totally your fault. But I am sad," she said, giving him a quick hug. "I love you too. Be safe. Well, as safe as you can." She could tell he had seen the look of immense disappointment cross her face when LeTrai had called, but she hadn't wanted to make him feel bad.
"I always try. See you later." He kissed her temple when they separated from each other.
Katie loved him and when he had walked out of their house, he had laid down the gauntlet at her feet. She had a decision to make, but she wasn't ready. She could never be.
She would just have to spend the rest of her life wondering if her love was enough to keep him faithful and keep them happy. Or she could lock her doubts away and focus on what Dr. Roberts had said.
A leap of faith.
She just wasn't sure what to think anymore, but all that was left was the leap, and now she couldn't sleep. She was just reheating the previous day's leftovers when she found herself on the phone with her dad.
"How's my favorite daughter doing?" Jim greeted her heartily.
"You shouldn't have a favorite, daddy, but not too bad," Katie replied quickly, not wanting to pause for too long lest her dad sense something was amiss. She breathed a silent prayer of thanks that they weren't having this conversation face-to-face. She could make her voice brighter, could fake an emergency, and could lie so much better when she didn't sense his gaze on her.
"And have you decided on the plans for your birthday yet?" Jim asked.
"Not so young anymore," she answered lightly, a small smile playing on her lips despite herself. "And answering your question… no, not really. I've been kind of busy, and when you're past twenty-one, it isn't really such a big deal anymore, is it?"
"Your mom has been asking if she should start planning a party. Maybe even a surprise party at your place," Jim mused aloud, and Katie winced a little. She didn't want a party and thinking about it made her uneasy. The atmosphere, the tension… and worst of all, the questions about her and Ned's marriage. "Though I guess it is not a surprise if I just told you."
Things were getting better and the sex… it had been incredible, but she hadn't given him a definite answer yet. She hadn't even given him the slightest hint. And while things were looking up for them, every time she woke up with the other side of the bed empty, she saw another reminder of what had brought them to this stage in the first place. Each time it still stung.
Katie couldn't imagine having a party here. She looked around at the couch and tried to picture the last time everyone was crowded there, finding Ned lazing on the couch with a beer after her father shooed her out of her own kitchen. It was just a year, but it had been one hell of a year. And she couldn't do it, couldn't have everyone over to their home like absolutely nothing had changed.
It was too fast.
"I, uh, I'm not sure…" She wanted to say something about work, but her father already knew she wasn't teaching any summer courses and would catch on right away. "I'm not really feeling up to a party. Let alone a surprise party."
"Not even for your birthday?" Her dad asked, sounding mockingly shocked.
Katie laughed nervously. "Yeah well, you know me. I don't like to be the center of attention. I have a lot going on with Ned and I'm not ready to be front and center in my lonely house with only my stuff just 'cause I arrived in this world twenty-three years ago."
Jim chuckled. "I'm not surprised. How about we just go out to some nice place and have a quiet dinner? Just the older kids plus me and your mom." Her dad suggested. That sounded more like her style. "Ned can come too if you're telling the truth."
"Dad. Yes. We're doing really good," she said mock-sternly as she shook her head. "That would be perfect, actually. But please tell mom that I'm so sorry I don't want her fabulous party that I'm sure she has already started planning—"
"Probably, but we would both rather you actually enjoy your birthday. But if it's all right for you, then I'll just go ahead and book one of those sushi restaurants in Baybridge that you like so much." Jim cut in, not unkindly, and made a noise that sounded like a muffled chuckle. "It's more convenient and less expensive, after all."
"Thank you, Dad. Truly." Katie smiled. "I'll try my best to turn up on time. It's my birthday, after all."
Her dad laughed. "That's what you and your mother say every time."
Katie was just stepping out of the shower when she heard the doorbell ring. "Ned?" she called out cautiously as she hastily slipped on an oversized shirt and rapidly toweled her hair dry. She wasn't expecting him, but at every unexpected ring of the doorbell or her phone, her first thought was always that it might be him—and that gave her both a twinge of anxiety and a frisson of sweet anticipation.
Squinting through the peephole, to her surprise, she saw Delia standing there looking back at her, a pot in her arms.
"Hi," she smiled as she quickly unlocked the door, a little chagrined that she hadn't the time to slip on anything more appropriate than a t-shirt and pair of shorts.
Ned's mother smiled as she set the pot on the table and immediately Katie could smell the fragrant scent of roast beef and mashed potatoes.
"Let me go…" She gestured at her less than casual ensemble, and Delia nodded as she fussed about, tidying up the clutter on the nearby counter
"It's no problem. I know you weren't expecting me; I can make some tea while you get dressed. Go." Delia shooed her off, and Katie headed upstairs, changing as quickly as possible. The last time she had shown up like this, their conversation had been incredibly awkward, and her mother-in-law had begged her to give Ned another chance to show whether he was still the man she remembered.
With a sigh, Katie wondered if that was her purpose again today—or if she had changed her mind during the long process of their attempt at reconciliation.
True to her word, Delia had prepared mugs of tea for both of them during her absence, which were delicious and warming on the cool summer day. She thanked her but was still feeling anxious about the purpose of her mother-in-law's visit.
Delia took a small sip and cleared her throat before she set the cup back into its tiny saucer. Turning, she folded her hands and looked at her. "Katie," the woman spoke with a soft smile that left the corners of her eyes crinkly. "I don't know how I should say this or where I should start but first and foremost, thank you for giving Ned another chance. Thank you for taking my son back, when he deserved no forgiveness, especially not from you. It must have been hell, darling, and I cannot imagine everything you had to go through. I am so sorry for what happened—"
"Please don't." Katie half-rose and was horrified that she was apologizing to her. "Please don't apologize. It was Ned's fault and Ned's alone." She clasped the older woman's hands in hers and was shocked to find her eyes pricking with tears. "You raised Ned so well, and the man we all know and love is a result of that. What happened… you couldn't have stopped it. I was at fault too. I was too cooped up in my misery and we were fighting so much every day, all the time." She shook her head, pained at the image in her head.
"The man I raised would never run away. He should have talked to you, Katie. He should have worked things out with you. And after everything… he goes and cheats." Delia shook her head sadly.
"I am sorry we reached this stage." She sighed. "And I love Ned, God, I love him so much and I always have, and what he did tore my heart out. But that's what love does, doesn't it? It hurts and it mends, too. I thought I could live without him. I tried, and it's so hard that I don't know anymore."
Delia looked up and gently wiped the tears away from her face. "As I said, I'm not here to beg on Ned's behalf. I'm just glad that you haven't packed up and left his life completely. If I were you, I can't say I would be this strong. Betrayal is a painful wound to bear and you've managed to swallow your pain and say you're willing to give him that chance."
Katie chuckled darkly as she tucked a strand behind her ear. "I've had bad days. Really rough ones. What hurts more, what will always hurt is the fact that I lost my baby." Her voice hitched as her hands crept to her flat stomach. "I see mothers with strollers on the street, at the mall, at the grocery store. I see chubby smiling children and it's a fresh new wave of pain all over again. And now... I have a new sister to boot. My own mother at 46 can still do it better than me… but I could never tell her that."
"Oh sweet girl," Delia murmured as she reached out to hold her hand. "I'm not sure if Ned even knows, he was so young—but after him, I was pregnant again."
She looked up, her eyes wide as she realized the terrible truth behind the sentence. "Delia, you don't have to—"
Ned's mother smiled a sad smile as she shook her head. "It was a girl, maybe four or five months along, and I was beyond devastated." Delia met her gaze and both their eyes were red-rimmed. "Things happen, Katie. Some things just are beyond our control. A few months later, Charlie was shot at that ATM and for years I thought somehow if I hadn't lost that baby he wouldn't have been there at that very moment, but please don't do the same. Don't blame yourself anymore, darling."
"I never knew…" She murmured, shock still registered on her face. "Ned never told me."
"I never told him. Well, not again that is. He was too little to remember it and with losing his dad, that struck a lot more." Delia smiled. "I guess we just like to keep our misery to ourselves."
She understood better than she liked to. "It's easier that way. That way when you're trying to make yourself forget, there's no one to remind you of it again."
Delia just shook her head, reaching for her mug of tea again. "You will never forget, but you can learn to forgive."
It was their last date before her birthday, thanks to the way Ned's week at work was shaping up. He was glad that the hours of planning, networking, and preparation were beginning to pay off for his case, glad that he was inching closer to realizing his goal, but the timing sucked.
He was doing everything he possibly could do to not pressure Katie into making the decision he truly wanted, but his knowledge that the deadline was so, so close was intensely distracting. By her birthday, he would know for sure. By Friday.
He wished he had more time to see her before then. He prayed that this wasn't the last time before she told him that it was over and she wanted a divorce. And now that he had been reminded again of how incredible it felt to be with her and to sleep in his wife's arms, he had found it almost impossible to sleep alone again.
He loved her. He wanted her. Talking about anything else, acting natural and casual with her and everyone else in his life, was driving him crazy when all he wanted was to beg her for an answer, or for her to ask him for something, some sign, something he could do for her. He would do anything for her, anything in his power.
For their date, he had suggested something low-key and casual, and he had offered to make dinner for her. His mother's crock-pot vegetable soup recipe was even better with her suggestion to add chunks of roast beef and some tomato soup to thicken it, and he bought the ingredients for grilled cheese sandwiches, too.
He was looking forward to the end of their cold year with all his heart—but especially if that warmth would coincide with his moving back into their home.
Katie called when she was on the way, and when she arrived she had brought a bottle of wine and was drenched. "So it started raining on my way out of the liquor store." She said, kicking off her shoes by the door. "Do you have anything I could wear?"
Ned smiled when she walked into the kitchen. Even completely soaked in jean shorts and a tank top, she was the most beautiful woman in the world to him. "Of course. Just your luck," he chuckled and leaned in close enough without touching her to kiss her cheek. "Go raid my drawers for whatever you need."
"Thanks." She said and set the bottle of wine on the counter before disappearing around the corner to change. "I'll be quick."
When Katie emerged he was finished making their grilled cheese sandwiches, she wore a pair of his sweatpants and her camisole, her wet clothes in hand. Her feet were bare, but when he glanced over and saw her wincing at the cool wood floor, he went to his bedroom and took a pair of socks out of his drawer, then traded them for her clothes.
"Thanks," she said with a shy smile as she sat down on the couch and pulled the socks on. "Forgot how cold the floors get, here… Dinner smells great by the way. What are you making?"
But it wasn't here that she was referring to, and Ned held her gaze for a few seconds before he turned back to the warming skillet. She was really referring to his first apartment, to their first apartment.
"Vegetable soup with roast beef, and grilled cheese. With lots of real butter in the skillet," he said, tossing her clothes in his laundry basket. "None of that awful cooking spray or margarine crap."
"So the good kind, then." She teased, but only lightly as they walked into the kitchen together. "I approve."
Ned nodded. "Mind getting a couple of bowls? They're—" In the usual place, he almost added, but when he glanced over she had opened the proper cabinet and taken them down.
When he had first moved into an apartment years earlier, he had put everything away where it was most convenient for him; then Katie had come in and organized everything, and he had grudgingly admitted that her method made more sense. He had put everything away here exactly where she would have had him put it.
Then Katie lifted the lid of the crock-pot and took an appreciative whiff. "Oh, Ned! You didn't remember the liners?"
He groaned. "Shit. I knew something didn't seem quite right..."
"It's all right," she sighed. "If the soup is good enough I'll wash it out for you."
"You don't have to do that." He reasoned with her.
"I know I don't, but you'll let it sit for two weeks." Her brown eyes were sparkling a little when she glanced over at him at the same time.
If it was their last meal together as a married couple... a part of him wished it was something unforgettable, something impressive, but it seemed right that it would be much like the meals they had prepared together and shared when they had lived in an apartment much like this one.
Full circle.
He had done his best, and he was fully aware that it might not be enough—but he had done everything he could.
Over their dinner, when Ned took the first bite of his sandwich, he had wished he grabbed himself some beer, but the wine was okay. He turned his attention to Katie; she was trying her first spoonful of the soup, and she closed her eyes as she tasted it.
"Mmm. This has got to be one of your mom's recipes." She said taking another spoonful to her mouth. Not that I doubt your cooking abilities."
Ned nodded. "Maybe," he teased her with a smile. "But I did all the heavy lifting. Opening cans and everything."
Katie wrinkled her nose at him, but she was smiling as she slid her spoon through the bowl again. She seemed more comfortable than she had in a while, but Ned was trying hard not to read anything into it. The more he wanted it, the more he was afraid that he would only see what he wanted to see.
And that had definitely gotten him into trouble.
She tucked her hair behind her ear again and he saw her wedding rings on her finger again and had to look away. That didn't necessarily mean anything, either.
It's over.
If she did that to him again... God, he didn't think his heart could take it.
Since dinner had been rather humble, Ned had stopped in the bakery section of the upscale grocery store near his work and bought a batch of chocolate-dipped cookies along with his other supplies. They settled on the couch with the cookies in front of them, and while they were both far too full to consider dessert yet, he still knew he would definitely claim at least a couple before the night was over.
More than a few if their date ended badly. None of it ended in the worst way possible.
"So you have late shifts for the rest of the week?" Katie glanced up at him. Along with ruining her outfit, the rain had taken off her makeup, his gaze traced the freckles dusting her nose and cheeks too, and he remembered summer days he had spent kissing each one—and her teasing that she had many more freckles than the ones he was able to see outside her clothes.
"Back to back this coming weekend. I'll be free Friday night, but busy the rest." He said.
No matter what, Ned hadn't been able to get those nights off. If she told him she was taking him back, then with any luck he would be moving back in after the weekend; if not, he was going to be doing everything he possibly could to keep from hitting rock bottom for as long as he could.
"Next weekend I'll be free though. I was thinking maybe we could get out of town together if you wanted." He could hear the edge of desperation in his voice and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself."
Katie gave him a soft smile. "I'm sorry," she murmured. "I hate that I'm dragging this out and it's probably killing you. But leaving town with you next weekend sounds like fun."
"Yeah," he admitted. "I mean—"
She reached up, perching on her knees, and cupped his face in her hands. She leaned forward and kissed him softly, very briefly, then pulled back to give him a sad smile. "I know what you mean," she said softly. "It's all right."
He gazed into her eyes, afraid to ask what she was thinking and claim her lips in a deeper kiss if he was misreading her signals. She sat back again and the moment had broken, but he could still feel that strange faint vibration in the skin near his heart.
Katie sighed. "I keep wondering what anyone else would do, in this situation—but it doesn't matter what anyone else would do. Just us."
Ned looked down at his open palms. He couldn't believe how tense he felt, how much he wanted to do something, anything. To pace, to plead. But he had told her that he had spoken his piece, and he had. The decision was hers to make and live with because he had already decided on what he wanted.
"You know what kills me about this?" he murmured. "That if I lose you, and this, now... that I might lose my best friend. You know me as no one else does. My life would be dimmer without you as a part of it. And if someone had just walked up to me and reminded me of that simple fact a year ago... well, I don't know where we'd be now, but it wouldn't be here."
She sniffled, her eyes filled with tears. "So if I tell you this is over..." His heart skipped a beat as she spoke, and he had to force himself to keep his gaze on her stricken face. "Then it's all or nothing?"
"No, Katie. No. Not at all. When I told you that I would be for you whatever you needed me to be, I meant that. With all my heart. I want you to be happy." He gave her a small smile. "But I've told you before... I want so badly for you to be happy with me. And if you aren't, if the man sitting next to you today is not the person you could see yourself being happy with for the rest of your life... then it would break my heart to let you go, and you know that—but I would."
She sniffled again. "I don't want you to let me go," she cried, her eyes blazing with tears. "God, I never want you to let me go. I want you to come home."
He moved toward her, and she released a sound between a whimper and a sob when they crashed together, his palm cupping the back of her head, her mouth sweet under his. She cupped his cheek; her fingers caught his collar, and he looped his other arm around her waist, pulling her close to him.
Ned was fully aware that her willingness to sleep with him again wasn't a sign, but when she began to tug at his shirt, her tongue teasing his, he scooped her up and carried her to his bed, his palm slipping under her camisole to caress the small of her back. She wrapped her legs around him, dragging her hand through his hair, shivering against him as his fingertips dipped beneath the band of the sweatpants she wore.
When he laid her down she kept kissing him, and they parted only long enough for her to draw his shirt over his head. He leaned down and brushed the tip of his nose against hers, then kissed her softly; she stopped with her hand on his back, and he could feel her melting under him.
"Then I never will," he whispered against her lips. "No matter what. I will never leave you again."
It wasn't as romantic as the firelight had been, but he turned on the lamp at his bedside, and the room was cast in a warm glow. He kissed her as he drew her tank top up, and she helped him pull it off; underneath she wore a lace bra, he could feel it under his fingertips, but he didn't pull back long enough to look down at it. He kept kissing her, and he could feel the hitch in her breathing as he slipped it down her arms.
Once they were both naked to the waist she pulled him down to her, his hips snug between her thighs and her legs wrapped around him still. He pulled down the sweatpants she wore and slipped his hand against her panties, finding the lace warm and already damp under his fingertips.
She whimpered and arched under him, catching his lower lip gently in her teeth as she unfastened his fly. And he had been desperate, as though he had to get her into bed before she realized what they were about to do, but they slowed down as she pushed his jeans off, and they each pushed down their own underwear.
But when he pulled back, stroking her cheek and gazing straight into her eyes, he didn't see any doubt there.
It could be the last time. Those little doubts came to mind even as she'd told him to come home. It couldn't be true, right? What if this was the last time he ever made love to his wife?
He didn't want to stop kissing her, and she arched obligingly against his hand as he cupped it between her thighs, so he parted her smooth flesh and pressed his fingers up inside her, fondling her clit as he kissed her deeply, over and over. She began to whimper and sob against his lips, and he felt her tease her own nipple as she buried her other hand in his hair.
He alternated his thrusts, making them rough and quick and then slowing down, curving his fingers and then corkscrewing them, making his strokes against her clit teasing-light and gradually harder. He knew when she was getting close when she panted faster, and her hips began to jerk under his hand.
Ned broke the kiss with an audible pop, three fingers deep and motionless inside of her, his thumb still idly stroking circles. Even without his mouth against hers, her lips were parted, and her lashes low. He kissed her cheek, then her earlobe. "More, baby?"
She moaned. "Y—yes," she whimpered.
He nibbled on her other earlobe. "Show me," he whispered.
Since his hand had stilled, her hips were thrusting so she could fuck his fingers, her own fingers still plucking at her hard nipple. When he slipped his fingers out of her, immediately his hand went to his cock; he pumped it a few times, groaning at how good the hot, slick evidence of her arousal felt on his skin.
She pushed herself up a little, still trembling, and she only hesitated a second before she reached for the drawer of his bedside table, where they had always kept their condoms in the apartment. She let out a triumphant cry when she fished out one of the foil packets. While he still wasn't in love with the fact that they were back to using them, if he had to choose between safe sex and no sex, he was always going to choose safe sex.
Katie rolled the condom onto him, then pushed him onto his back. Her skin was flushed golden in the faint light and when she straddled his hips, taking him in her hand so she could mount him, Ned couldn't help letting out a sigh of anticipation.
He had always loved the sight of her, and he couldn't help trying to memorize it: the way her eyebrows jumped as she fitted him inside her, the slope of her breasts, the curve of her hips, the scar on her stomach, and the dark stretch marks on her thighs.
"You are so beautiful, baby," he murmured, and as her hips descended, it came back to him, every other time he had felt her on top of him like this.
Ned could see them all in her, every version of her that he had loved, even though sometimes she said she wasn't sure she could ever be that woman again; he could see the inexperienced girl of eighteen who had utterly captivated him and still felt untouchable, whose kisses were sweet and tentative; he could see the nineteen-year-old woman who had shyly slipped out of her clothes and let him see her naked. He could see the twenty-year-old who he had proposed to and the woman a year later who had walked down the aisle to him on their wedding day and had buried him in rum-sweet kisses later that night.
He remembered that cold day in January and the way she had screamed when he told her their son was dead. That was the last time she'd let him hold her until that night in her parent's kitchen.
Oh, the weight of their history overwhelmed him, and he hated wondering if it could be too late. She was everything to him, and she had been for so long. She was his soul mate, his one out of every other person on this earth, and what he had told her was true. He couldn't let her go without losing the better part of himself, in every sense.
"I love you so much," he confessed just before she leaned down so she could kiss him, running his palms up and down her back, his fingertips tracing the line of her spine and the tensed muscles of her thighs.
"I love you too," she moaned, her brow creasing again as she took his full length. When he snaked his hand between them and found her clit, she cried out. "Ned… oh, God, so much…"
"My only," he whispered to her, between kisses, as her hips ground against his and he moved inside her. "Katie… I love you so fucking much…"
She kissed him again, her breasts pressed against his chest and his hands both going to cup her ass. She released a long desperate groan, and after one last kiss she moved and they were gazing directly into each other's eyes.
He drank in the intimacy of it as he brought one hand up to cup her face, and he could see something in her face beyond the desire and pleasure of their joining. It was more addictive than anything else he had ever known.
As she began to roll onto her side he moved with her, his lips brushing hers and whimpering at the deepest point of his every thrust. He kissed her temple, her cheek, her nose, the corner of her mouth, and distantly he knew he was trembling, so close to breaking, and knew that she was too.
She was all he could feel, all he knew. All he had ever wanted from the first brush of her skin against his, from that first bright smile, from the first kiss. And when he called her his... what he had meant, always, was that he was hers.
They came at the same time, her cries breathless as collapsed on top of her, his head on the pillow. He could feel her heart beating hard against his, the tension of her orgasm still hard in her limbs, and then she relaxed, holding him.
As soon as he had recovered enough to speak, Ned kissed her temple. "You can say no," he whispered, "but please, please. Stay with me tonight."
She cupped his face, just the same way she had cupped it to kiss him while they were sitting on the couch. In the span of heartbeats before she answered, he prepared for the worst.
"Okay," she whispered.
He let her borrow a different shirt to sleep in, and when they cuddled up together, she kissed his chest, her arm looped over him. He wanted to stay awake as long as he could, to just relish the feeling of her in his arms again, but he had missed it so much... and soon he was relaxed, the stroke of her fingertips on his back fading until he fell asleep.
Katie's alarm went off early or so he thought, it was nearly eleven. Ned was disoriented, but he came around when she rolled hastily onto her stomach, grabbing her cell phone so she could silence it. She let out a long exhausted sigh, and he remembered that before, she would have snuggled back up to him for a few minutes more rest before tossing back the covers.
But then she came back to him, and immediately he wrapped his arms around her. She kissed his collarbone and chest before lying her head there, and he let out a soft contented sigh, relaxing back into the warmth of the mattress.
"Ned?" she whispered, her voice sounding a little rusty with sleep.
"Hmm?"
She took a deep breath, then moved up and pressed a soft close-mouthed kiss against his lips. When she spoke, her voice was quiet, slow, but firm. "You heard me last night, right?"
He had heard her the night before, but he hadn't quite believed it. He had wanted to hear it from her when they weren't in the middle of making love. "I heard you, but things can change when you wake up in the morning." If this was a dream... God. "You've made your decision?"
"Yes. I want you to get rid of this apartment and come home. I love you," she said and then brought her gaze up to search his eyes. "I have never stopped loving you."
Ned would've shouted if he hadn't been positive that it would wake his neighbors. He settled for a wide grin as he wrapped his arms around her, and then Katie laughed, squirming as he kissed her neck. "Yes, yes," he answered, his voice vibrating against her skin. "Yes, a million times yes. Thank you so much."
She ran her hand through his hair, still chuckling. "You know that we're not going to stop going to therapy, right? And we're going to... we're going to do this right..."
"Of course. I know that, baby." He kissed the other side of her neck, just below her ear, then looked straight into her eyes. "Thank you. Truly," he whispered again.
She gave him a slow smile. "I lost myself when we lost Charlie, and then I lost you too," she sighed. "I need us to be good again, Ned. You have no idea..."
He kissed her cheek. "I know exactly what you mean," he murmured. "And I swear to you that you will not regret this. You will never regret this."
She sighed, then kissed his jaw. "Good," she whispered.
Katie had actually been looking forward to their therapy session that week, in a way that she hadn't been in quite a while. Oh, she had anticipated seeing her husband there, and that anticipation had been sweet lately, but at least now she would be able to announce their reconciliation to their therapist.
When she woke in Ned's arms for the third morning in a row, refreshed and happy after a full night of sleep cuddled up against him in their bed, and she saw the incredible happiness and gratitude in his eyes as he gazed into her face… God, it felt good.
She had spent so many sleepless nights without him and now that they were back together, it was like some terrible fist clenched around her heart had finally begun to relax.
Later that day though when shopping for a new dress for her birthday with Hannah, she received a call from Dr. Roberts, who said that he had a family emergency and wanted to postpone their session. Other than her disappointment that she couldn't tell the doctor that night, she was okay with that.
Katie was fully aware that their work wasn't over, but given how far they had come, she was finally feeling good again. And she wasn't missing out on a chance to see Ned, they would just have the evening free together now. Though she had been kind of hoping that Dr. Roberts might be able to talk to them about the potential disaster her birthday dinner could bring...
Part of her was convinced that it would go great. It was her birthday after all, and just dinner with her family. What could go wrong? She was trying to excite herself because this would be the first real celebration that she would have with Ned since they were back together, and while they had slept together every night since, he hadn't been able to start moving back in quite yet because of his work schedule.
She hadn't been able to pick out her outfit until after she had given Ned her decision with her best friend's help. And now that she knew he would be there, she had selected a dress that made her feel festive and just a little sexy, one that emphasized her restored, if still rather gentle, curves.
The dress was halter-necked, silk, with a pattern of red roses printed onto the fabric. The skirt was full and swirled just under her knees. Because it felt vintage, Katie redid her makeup from earlier, carefully applying winged eyeliner and mascara before changing her lipstick color.
When she stepped back and scrutinized her reflection, she found that she had to grin. Her lipstick was bright but not garish, and her eye makeup made her eyes stand out even more than usual. She gave herself another spritz of perfume and nodded at her reflection in approval before heading out with Hannah to the sushi place.
Ned was waiting just outside the restaurant for her when they got there. And God, he looked handsome in his dress shirt and striped tie. "Hey beautiful," he greeted her, and his entire face lit up with the grin he gave her. "You look amazing, birthday girl."
"Thanks, babe. You look good too," she said and pressed a quick peck to his lips. "Very sharp."
"It's your birthday?" the valet asked as Hannah handed over her keys.
She turned her head to glance at the teenager. "Yes. Why?" She asked.
"Happy birthday," the valet exclaimed, then gave her a flirtatious grin. "And if this mug doesn't give you something pretty, come see me, all right? I have a Jag that's just itching for a joyride." The kid winked at her.
Her husband slipped his arm through hers as soon as he could. "He's lucky I'm in a good mood tonight," he murmured.
"Me too," she confided, a pleasing shiver sliding down her spine at his closeness. "Or else I'd knock that poor teenager on his ass."
"I'd love to see that," Hannah teased. "I really would."
They all chuckled together on the walk inside and waited for the server, who brought them to the corner table her father had reserved, and her heart rose into her throat when she saw that the rest of their party had already arrived. Aaron was on his phone, as usual, and Mackenzie was talking rapidly about her latest swim practice to Melinda and Jim.
"Happy birthday!" The entire table shouted happily.
Ned pulled out Katie's chair for her, and when she looked over at her mom, smiling in greeting, she wasn't entirely unsurprised to see that Melinda's eyes were shining faintly with unshed tears. "You look so pretty! And you look so happy, too."
"Thanks, mom," she said with a smile.
"Have a good day, birthday girl?" Jim asked with a wide smile.
She shrugged. "It was a pretty normal day. But definitely not a bad one," she said and glanced at the menu.
The hurdles were many, and every time they approached another, she couldn't help feeling nervous. They made it through the greetings without a problem and it didn't seem too tense between anyone, well except Mackenzie but she was one to hold grudges and just a kid.
Things got smoother as dinner went along and after putting their orders in, it was gift time. Her mother had given her a few things throughout the week, so she wasn't surprised when it was her father who gave her something this time.
Only it did surprise her to see her grandmother's watch inside the box, especially after Jim had told her that he couldn't find it. Ever since Faith had passed two years before, she'd wanted something of hers that she could wear every day and now she had it.
Katie put it on straight away. "I thought you said you couldn't find any of her jewelry? When did you find this?" she said, having to try her best not to cry. "This is… it's perfect."
"I didn't for a while, but finally came across this a few weeks ago and might've fibbed for a bit while your mom worked her magic." Her dad told her with a hearty smile.
"Well, my present totally sucks now." Hannah chuckled as she passed her a card.
Inside was a gift certificate for a weekend stay at an old Victorian bed and breakfast a few hours out of town. "I wouldn't say that. Though let's hope this place doesn't have a ghost-like the last one we went to," she said, sliding the card back into the envelope before hugging her best friend. "This is great. Thanks, Han."
Mackenzie had been chomping at the bit since she'd sat down beside her, and gave her something next. They were earrings, and likely something from their mother's shop, but it didn't mean any less coming from her little sister.
Food came out next and they started with the appetizer sampler, and when Katie and Ned reached for the same dumpling at the same time, they chuckled at each other. The restaurant's decor was warm and candlelit, and seeing that reflected in Ned's warm, dark eyes made her feel almost giddy.
Being with him made her whole again, finally. She wanted to be whole. More than anything, she wanted to feel whole and safe again, and that had been the answer they were both wanting to find.
Gradually throughout dinner, she realized that as nervous as she and Ned felt, her parents had to be feeling it too. Whenever they could, Melinda or Jim gently turned the conversation from topics they sensed might upset her or their son-in-law.
When Hannah talked about some milestone her son Jace had hit, her mom managed to turn the conversation to fourth of July plans so subtly that Katie was left in awe. It wasn't that she had underestimated her mother, but Melinda was good at finding ways to pleasantly surprise her.
Ned ordered the waiter-approved rainbow and shrimp tempura rolls, and Katie ordered her usual salmon and snow-crab avocado rolls. He stole a bite off her plate and she gave him a mock scowl, and then she stole a bite off his plate, and in retaliation when she swallowed and gave him a wide grin, he stole a kiss.
She knew it was the honeymoon phase, but intended to enjoy every second of it. They had passed through the valley and emerged together. She was loving the feel of the sun on her face after.
"So are you two like back together then? For good?" Aaron asked and the entire table stopped eating to turn and glance at him. He was the only one with enough guts to break the tension around that touchy subject. "Or is this just temporary until Ned walks out again?"
She didn't blame him but hadn't wanted to deal with that conversation tonight. Not on her birthday.
"You don't have to answer that, and that last part wasn't necessary," Melinda said, giving her brother a look that made him look guilty, but then kicked her father under the table when he had chuckled.
"No, it's fine. I deserve it," Ned sighed and shared a glance with her before he spoke again. "But your sister and I are back together. I'm moving back into our house next week."
Jim raised his scotch glass, but Katie could tell that there was still tension between him and Ned. "That's wonderful news. I'm happy for both of you. Let's move onto the matter of dessert." Her dad said. "Who's still got room for cake?"
For dessert, even though everyone except Ned and Aaron protested they were stuffed, they ordered the current chef's special for the entire table, a full-sized salted caramel cake with vanilla bean ice cream.
"All right, you two. Since you were able to make it out tonight, does that mean we'll be seeing you more often?" Mackenzie said hopefully. "Ned, I know I've been rough on you but if Katie can forgive you then so can I."
Ned squeezed her hand gently. "I certainly hope your sister has forgiven me," he sighed. "I... Things have been pretty tough over the last few months. But I'm glad things are finally starting to settle down. And that, tonight, we're able to celebrate the birthday of the woman who is the light of my life. Katie, I love you so much. Happy birthday, and here's to many, many more."
He lifted their joined hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles, and she smiled at him. "Thanks, sweetheart," she murmured.
Jim raised his glass and shared a look with Melinda before glancing at her. "To our daughter. Katie, we are so proud of you, and we tell you this all year—but it has always been true, especially after this rough year you've had. We love you so much. To many, many more birthdays."
The waiter arrived just then, the cake in his hands, a single flickering candle set in the top. Behind him, a waitress carried a tray with their dishes of ice cream. "Am I interrupting?"
"Not at all," Ned said with a wide grin. "And I think that's our cue."
They sang "Happy Birthday" to her, and at the end of it, all of them clapped, along with many of the guests seated around them. Hannah took over serving the cake and passed the first slice to Katie, who just gazed down at it, shaking her head. She was too full to eat it just yet.
Then she glanced around the table. "I love all of you so much," she said, smiling at each of them in turn, ending with her husband. "Every single one of you, so much. Thank you for being here for me, for both of us. It's been a long year."
After the last spoonful of ice cream was scooped up, after the last protest and groan of the impending explosion, they reluctantly rose and said their goodbyes, all hugging each other and promising to get together again soon. The waiter wrapped the remains of the cake, and Ned was more than happy to accept it.
After everyone else had departed, Katie and Ned stood at the valet station, waiting for his car to be brought around. She was happy she'd rode with Hannah so she could ride back with him "So," he said softly. "Birthday girl. You know the night isn't quite over yet."
She patted her stomach. "Well, it's definitely been delicious," she said.
He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "But you haven't gotten your present from me yet."
She smiled up at him. "Sure I have," she murmured. "You're here. And when I wake up in the morning, the first thing I'll see is the man I love. I don't think I could ask for a better present."
Ned searched her eyes, then gave her a soft, lingering kiss just as the valet arrived with her car. "Have I told you yet today how much I love you?"
She smiled, then stroked his cheek. "You know what they say," she murmured. "Actions speak louder than words, Mr. Banks."
"Very true," he murmured, his voice low with promise. "Mrs. Banks."