A/N: I would like to thank MissBrooklyn80 of A03 once again for all her help in cooking up a plot for this story, and for proof-reading this chapter. :) I would also like to thank BlackAngel001 for helping me come up with a few ideas that will take place down the road in future chapters. Thank you both, I couldn't have done it without you!
David had known ever since they left the Hendells' farm and place of residence that Sarah wasn't happy.
Sarah wasn't just unhappy, she had become somewhat withdrawn and non-responsive, apart from the slightest interaction required, or when David himself attempted to initiate a conversation.
During the first day of traveling together, David had slipped into his regular mode of moving toward anything that might be ahead, prepared for anything… including a new, future integration if he happened to find work and a place to stay.
For Sarah, on the other hand, it was still a new way of life. She had gotten somewhat used to doing things her own way, within reason, at the place where she and Tasha had stayed with a forest nearby. Now, she no longer had the security of a house to come back to or the local woods to hunt or just lose herself.
At the end of the first day, they ended up stopping to rest in the middle of nowhere, having failed to hitch a ride. Thankfully there was a fairly clean stream nearby, from which Sarah used the lightning reflexes of her wolf-side to paw a couple of fish out of the water for David's benefit.
For drinking purposes, David boiled some of the water with a kettle left behind from a nearby, recently abandoned campsite. He then cooked the fish in its own oils, somewhat disapproving of the way Sarah had gone off to snag a rogue steer she had detected nearby, though he didn't say a word.
He was concerned for multiple reasons. What if someone came looking for that steer? Was it really a good idea to permit Sarah to take on wolf form and partake in such… feral behavior? She needed to eat, and she could probably use the extra meat to complete a full recovery and finish replenishing her energy after her recent ordeal. What concerned him, though, was the chances of her getting spotted while in that form. And the fact that being in wolf form increased her appetite, according to the research and test papers he had memorized before burning.
In the end, Sarah had returned after she finished her grisly meal-out of sight, for his benefit and her own, since she didn't want to ruin his appetite. She was still self-conscious about him seeing her do some wolfy things.
Sarah ignored him at first as she cleaned her teeth, face, and front paws in the stream. After the worst of the blood was gone from her fur, she took a good long drink from the stream.
A little later, after the sun had set, David tried to coax her into changing back into human form. "Sarah, I still have your clothes right here," he said, presenting them to her in a reasonably neat pile. "It would attract less notice if you changed back."
The only response he got was a grunt followed by a snort. Sarah remained curled up in a heap on the ground and otherwise ignored him, even if she did peer at him through half-opened eyes. Uncertain how to read that, David soon gave up on the matter, figuring they were remote enough for now. He couldn't talk to her if she wasn't going to change into a form where they could converse.
If she wanted to stay in wolf form for now… fine. He would save his breath for when she had the right set of vocal cords.
It had occurred to him later that night that… maybe she was using her wolf form as an excuse to avoid talking to him? She had already proven she could be stubborn, and she had some immature qualities. But… for tonight, at least, he would leave her alone.
After a time, he actually ended up surprising himself by sleeping right next to her when the night got unexpectedly cold, with a chilling breeze to boot. She had apparently inched closer to him when her sensitive ears detected him shivering a bit under a fresh blast of wind.
At first, it had spooked the hell out of him, and he began to scoot away, but something in her eyes stopped him. Sarah looked far less like a vicious monster who had recently slaughtered and devoured a large hoofed animal, and more like a fragile puppy who felt stung by the apparent rejection.
David immediately chided himself, then permitted her to get close again. They slept back-to-back, though her fur and body heat did help him stay warm, and her bulk even helped shelter him a little from the wind. He was grateful for that, along with the fact that she kept her snout pointed well away from him, though he seemed to be in little danger of being bitten or clawed anyway.
When morning came, David awoke to find himself lying on the ground with his head resting against his own folded arms… and he bolted upright when he realized the furry, heat-radiating "teddy bear" he had fallen asleep next to was gone.
To his surprise, he found that Sarah was not only back in human form and fully dressed, but the scent of fish cooking revealed that she had caught and started cooking breakfast. Fresh fish, the same kind she had slapped onto the shore for him the previous night. Perhaps she had been camping at some point in her life, or she had gleaned something from observing him.
When it was finished cooking, she handed it to him on a plate. "Aren't you going to have some?" David asked after accepting it. Her only response was to shake her head slightly and plop herself on the ground a few yards away from him, bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.
"Aren't you hungry?" David pressed. "Or are you planning to go hunt?"
She never did respond. Maybe the huge meal she had gorged herself on the previous night was enough. Esben's notes had said that sometimes werewolves did show a tendency toward a 'feast or famine' way of doing things… if they gorged themselves too much, it might be two or three days before they would eat again.
David could only sigh inwardly at her lack of response, then simply ate the food with some freshly boiled water from the stream once it cooled. After all, there was no telling when the next meal would be or where, and… it was clear that she was trying at least, even if she wouldn't talk to him.
Maybe she just needed more time.
After David finished eating and put out the fire, they began their second day together… which mostly consisted of a lot more hiking and a lot more silent treatment from Sarah.
At the end of the day, they did manage to come across a convenience store in which David bought a few sandwiches and two large cans of soda. Sarah waited outside the entire time, refusing to enter the store with him and shaking her head when he offered her one of the drinks and a sandwich.
They were soon seated in the middle of a nearby park at a picnic table on wooden benches. David figured that, if worse came to worse, perhaps they could sleep here if a park ranger or policeman didn't tell them to go. He had slept in worse places, and Sarah had already proven she could sleep pretty much anywhere… though he wasn't sure how sleeping on a wooden surface or the ground would affect her without the benefit of her furry hide.
"Are you sure you don't want a sandwich?" He motioned to the food on the table even as he ate one.
Sarah had barely even looked in his direction ever since they sat down, seeming unfazed and uninterested in the food or even his presence. Though that had been the general theme for the entire day.
David had finally had enough. "Look, Sarah. I know that this isn't easy for you, and I'm trying to give you some leeway to adjust if you need it. But you can't keep ignoring me or going on like this."
She looked at him fully now. "I'm not trying to ignore you."
"Then why haven't you said anything to me since we left the Hendells' place?"
"I… don't know." She shrugged and sighed, leaning forward a little after placing her elbows on the table and knitting her hands together.
David held his tongue but kept his inquisitive gaze on her. He'd observed her body language and emotional tendencies that learned that sometimes, Sarah was a person who needed time to form words before she could articulate. Sarah didn't respond well to pressure and, while she didn't like being confronted, she would respond better if given a chance to take her time.
Besides…whatever Sarah had endured at the hands of Esben and his staff was still taking a toll on her and making it difficult for her to be forthright. That was one of the reasons David had invited her to tag along for now. He wanted to help her adapt and learn how to function in her current state within society and stand on her own. This was part of that process. If there was some residual trauma or a similar issue that kept her walled up in a shell, he needed to gently draw her out of it, as long as she would let him.
Sarah couldn't exactly go to a counselor at a hospital. That area of his own education had to be good for something, at least...
Finally, she said, "I'm trying to figure out how to proceed from here. I don't know what I was thinking back when I was staying with Tasha. I guess I just believed I could go on like that forever, just doing my own thing and ignoring everything."
She looked David directly in the eye again. "You know something? When I was living on my family's farm, everyone always told me that we'd always have that, even if my brother and I had nothing else. If we each got married, we'd be welcome to raise our families there and help expand the farm. I guess… I was planning to let my brother be in charge, especially being a year older, and I'd just do whatever I needed to do.
"Then we had a few rough spells where our animals got sick, we lost several crops due to drought and some kind of blight… then everything got worse when a hurricane destroyed our barn. It cost a lot to build a new one, even if our neighbors helped with our barn-raising."
Sarah sighed again. "I mean, when I was a kid, everything was great, and I always assumed I'd have security there, especially since my parents and grandparents said so. Now my parents are gone, the farm is gone, and my only surviving grandparent, my Grandmother, is in a nursing home. My brother is who-knows-where because he ran off to and I…" She trailed off.
"So," David gently concluded for her, "you felt that with Tasha, you would have the safety and security you thought you'd have on your family farm."
"Yeah… and it turned out Tasha was just a great big phony. I thought I had found a… solid foundation after what happened to my parents and the farm. But everything everybody says is a big fat lie."
"Sometimes," David said knowingly, "life does take unexpected turns. Things happen that you can't predict or control. But you can't always expect other people or magical circumstances to do everything for you, sometimes what happens depends on you and the choices you make."
"Yes, I know," Sarah snapped. "I'm stuck as a werewolf now without any plans or hope for a future." She stood and turned away, folding her arms.
David rose and moved to follow, but found she didn't go far. Only about four steps away. "Yes, you are 'stuck' with this condition, just as I am with mine. But you have already shown you have the capacity to deal with this, Sarah. There may even be a cure out there somewhere."
She whirled on him now, causing him to start slightly. Still, there was nothing aggressive or feral in her movements or facial expression. She was just irritated and flustered by the entire situation and trying to work through it. "Then where the hell is it, David?" she demanded. "Come on, you've told me about how you've been trying for years to cure your own. And you've got the brain and knowledge for it!"
"Yes, but we also know that the werewolf condition originated somewhere in Europe. If we can find out more about that, we might be able to find that cure. In the meantime," David said, "We need to make sure you can function and know how to survive like this until a cure is found. If you don't, you may draw unwanted attention to yourself or end up being held and studied in a place that is just as bad, if not worse, as Dr. Hansen's lab."
Sarah was stone silent and looking a tad green around the gills at the prospect. Her eyes darted back and forth, then back on him, widening slightly.
"I'm not trying to frighten you." David tried to comfort her with a gentle squeeze on her arm. "But believe me when I say I know what could happen if you're not careful. I have to deal with those fears every day."
"Yeah, so I have to be extra careful until I can get a cure," Sarah gulped. "And I can't just go to Europe. I wouldn't know where to start, or… anything."
"That's why you will need to do research, Sarah. Start by going to libraries and looking up any werewolf legends you can find. Then begin studying anything related to those legends, medical, or scientific theories, that might be helpful."
"You're not gonna help me find out where to go?" Sarah asked, almost timidly.
David suppressed a sigh. "I might be able to help you get started, but I'm not sure how much I will be able to do, or for how long. Sarah," he gently took both of her arms when she looked like she might move away, "I promised I would help you adjust and learn to function on your own, and I will do just that. If I'm able, I could help you find the information available that may lead to a cure, but I may not be able to help you for more than a few weeks at most."
In truth, David had considered trying to go back to Esben's secret lab to see if anything useful might be there. He highly doubted it would be worth the risk, though, plus it was highly unlikely that Esben had documents just lying around that would pertain to a cure. He had decided against it very readily.
"Yeah, I know. Just like my family farm, just like whatever sheltering I had with Tasha… I won't have you around forever, either." Sarah tore his hands off of her. "Look," her face softened apologetically even as she took a step back, "I get it, okay? I gotta learn to rely on myself and take care of myself because nobody else can forever. I get it. Just…" She trailed off.
"You don't like it."
"No."
"You need to learn to do things you don't like doing eventually, Sarah." David folded his arms, looking thoughtful. "Weren't there a lot of things on the farm you didn't like doing?"
"I guess, but I had my routine."
"You can learn a new routine. It gets easier with time."
"So, where are we going exactly, David?"
"Right now, I thought we could spend the night here." David glanced indicatively at the sky; the sun had already set.
"But after tonight?"
"We continue going north."
"So this is supposed to be my plan, David? Follow you like a puppy, learn how to deal with my issues, and go chasing after monster legends until maybe I find a cure?"
For a long moment, neither of them said anything. There wasn't anything further that David could suggest. He knew how unpleasant it could be to have a cold bucket of reality dumped on you when you were used to thinking or doing things a certain way. Sarah, unfortunately, seemed like the type who preferred to flow along and hope that someone else would take care of everything for her. Or that she could ignore her problems if she could enter a secure enough comfort zone.
David could not offer her a secure comfort zone like her family had, or like Tasha had for a period of time. He also would not give her phony promises or lure her into a wrong decision like Esben had.
Perhaps on some level, Sarah resented him for making her consistently face reality and try to find a better way for herself and a method to fix her problems. He could tell she did. But he was giving her what she needed, not what she wanted, and he also sensed that she knew that on a deeper level. Otherwise, she would have been growling a lot more or possibly stormed off by now.
Sarah would just need to learn to accept this, whether she liked it or not. Evidently, she wasn't ready to do that yet… or just didn't want to. It was a tough aspect of reality to accept, especially for someone who was apparently used to having decisions made for her and things prepared for her on her behalf.
"There are still a couple of sandwiches left. You might feel better if you eat something," David finally suggested.
He was mildly surprised she accepted his offer this time. Though it seemed more a way to have something to do with her hands and possibly focus on rather than being genuinely interested in food.
David sat with her wordlessly at their picnic table as she polished off the rest of the food and the can of soda he hadn't touched in case she changed her mind. There were some things that you just couldn't rush; he understood that. A broken leg wouldn't mend any faster with a lot of words or additional attention. And it sometimes took a person time to emotionally adjust, and heal from the sting of reality, and recent, unfortunate ordeals.
There would, hopefully, be time for everything. Time for her to deal with the news of her mother's death. Time for her to learn survival and get by in the world without being seen or getting captured. Time to start her off on the right path to finding a cure for herself and to stay blended in a crowd until she found it.
"David?"
His eyes snapped to her when her soft tone broke him out of his thoughts. "Hmm?"
"I want to see it one more time."
"See what?"
Sarah turned away, almost nervously, licking her lips. "I just want to see my family's farm one more time."
David frowned. "Do you know the people who own it now?"
"No, I'm not even sure who my parents sold it to."
"We can't just go there when it belongs to someone else, Sarah."
"I know. I don't want to stay there, and I don't want to do anything to get seen, or… whatever. David, I just feel like I need to see it one last time. Just one quick look, even from a distance. I know it won't be the same as I left it, and nobody I know will be there. I just feel like… I need this to help solidify reality and maybe move on from there."
David nodded slowly. He could understand that some individuals might need more visual and tangible stimuli to help process and accept some things… especially since, in her own way, Sarah seemed to get lost with her head in the clouds.
Perhaps Sarah was used to delving into a daydreamy version of reality she preferred. This mental phenomenon could have been enhanced within her if she needed an "escape" from whatever was done to her during Esben's torturous experiments.
David made a mental note to give her a more in-depth psychological analysis later.
He finally said, "Alright, I suppose we could go for a quick look, but we won't get too close."
David smiled slightly when he sensed her brighten. "We can head there tomorrow morning. Ah, where is the farm located?"
