My heels were clicking loudly as I walked down the street this morning, my hand resting gently on my stomach protectively as I held my head high and let the wind blow my air. I refused to look at anyone and instead kept my eyesight straightforward and would not let anyone see any of my weaknesses. I could feel eyes on me as I walked, nevertheless, I continued on my path straight to my business, I would not be a scared little girl anymore. Hiding away for two weeks was way out of character, it wasn't like me to hide, and looking back, I couldn't believe I did that. Letting Nick have that power over me, letting myself believe that Nick was too good for me. With how Nick reacted, with what he said and done, he is just as bad as me, if not worse. He was no knight in shining armour, he was no saviour, and it took me until now to realise it.

"Morning girls… and Sean."

I still didn't stop as I unlocked the door and let everyone in behind as me as I continued straight to the office to make myself back at home after so much time away. I did notice the envelope on Peter's desk was gone which meant he had it, my desk was definitely cleaner than yesterday, and I assumed someone had tidied it up. Alya came stumbling in and clocked me straight away, obviously nervous about my sudden reappearance.

"Morning Mrs. Connor… erm – "

"Can you get me a coffee please Alya, I feel like it's going to be a long morning."

It not only gave her an excuse to gather herself and help her mind get clearer, but it also gave me something in return that I wanted, caffeine. I took a few breaths after she left to try and control the heartburn, I seemed to have every morning, pregnancy symptoms were beginning to really kick my butt. I took a sip of water from my bottle out of my bag as Peter walked in, his eyes firmly on me as he smiled at me, unable to hide it.

"Morning, good to have you back boss."

"You know, that is the first time someone has said that to me today."

"Good, I'm glad I'm the first."

Then he sat, logged straight onto his computer to start work, not paying me any mind but I saw his eyes occasionally glance up at me with a small smile. It made his comment about being happy to see me feel more genuine and I was glad that he was happy to have me back, I was done hiding from now on. It wasn't long before Alya returned with three cups and placed one on my desk and one in front of Peter before the last one went to her desk. It occurred to me that Peter wasn't here when I asked for the drink, and I doubt he went to the kitchenette before he came to dump his stuff in the office. Maybe this was their new routine, maybe this was what they did now, and I was disturbing it, my suspicions were confirmed as I saw Alya continuously looking at Peter, trying to catch his eyes but instead of flickering behind him, they kept coming to me.

Time was going on as I typed away, catching up on emails and reading through contracts, ordering materials, just trying to get back into my routine. It felt good, it felt like I was becoming me again, something I had lost when I was hiding away, maybe even when I was just dating Nick, maybe even before that but I felt myself coming back and it felt good. I enjoyed the signs and feelings of my old self returning, and I tried not to smile brightly at the thought of not looking completely insane.

"Peter, that date I gave you, is it alright for you and the calendar?"

My hand moved towards the calendar that rested in between our desks that Michelle had incorporated years ago when my affair with Peter was beginning. He looked at me confused for a moment about what I meant, but as I continued to just stare at him and wait for him to figure it, he finally got the look of recognition and ohed.

"Yeah, yeah. That reminds me, I need to reschedule a meeting that day, but the date definitely works."

"Peter, it's fine, you don't need to reschedule, I can ring the hospital and – "

"No, no, it's fin, we might have to wait for weeks for another appointment, give me a minute."

Then he was picking up the phone and dialling a number, not bothering to look at me anymore, his foot tapping on the floor as he waited for someone to answer the phone. He was eager to go to the next ultrasound with me as we never got to that step with our other baby, the baby we lost too soon. I was eager too, wanting to go as soon as possible, to see the baby again, to have another picture in my hands and a frame proudly in my flat. I was nervous too, nervous that something was going to go wrong, I was going to lose another one, I was scared I wouldn't be able to carry this baby to full time either.

Then again, if everything went right, I would get to find out if I were having a little girl or boy, I would get to start decorating, I would get to start looking through the baby books for a name, things were going to get more real. It was terrifying, it was exciting, it was everything all at once and a little overwhelming, I guess a part of me was hoping that Peter would have to make me reschedule just to give me some more time. But more time for what? To spiral and panic me over a scan? No, the best thing was that the appointment stayed for the end of this week, get it over and done, and be given a clean bill of health for me and the baby, to stop all this worrying.

Peter was still on the phone as lunchtime came and I excused myself to Alya and waved to Peter as I left with the machinists, wanting to fulfil my promise of getting lunch at the Rovers and seeing Michelle. I walked slower to let the herd get ahead of me and scrolled through my phone to give me something to do. A moment later, I heard hurried footsteps approach me and when I looked up, I saw Nick approach me with a hesitant smile.

"Hey Carla, can we talk?"

His smile was wavering, his eyes clearly displaying how nervous he was, his hands fidgeted as I took in his appearance, my eyes were drawn to the blackness with purple colouring around one of his eyes.

"Nice shiner."

"You should thank Peter for that – never mind – Can we talk, please?"

"Fine, but I am ordering a hotpot as I am starving, breakfast is giving me heartburn, so I have to try and make it to lunch."

I walked off without looking back, I didn't wait to see if he was following me, I just let him make his own mind up. His footsteps were loud though as they followed me, he was desperate to talk, and I was desperate to eat in peace, I had to fulfil his wish to get mine. As soon as I walked into the pub, Michelle smiled at me, which quickly vanished as she saw who was behind me and stared with her eyebrows raised, questioning me. Carrying on my pattern of not looking back or taking in who was watching me, I walked straight over to my best friend and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Can I place an order for a hotpot and your company after I have wrapped things up with Nick, ok?"

"Yeah… ok babe. I'll see you in a bit then."

There were a million more things she wanted to say to me but luckily, she stayed quiet and trusted me and that I knew what I was doing, even if I didn't actually know what I was doing. Nick was still standing next to the entrance watching me closely, his eyes never leaving me, like a dog, he followed me over to the only open booth sat opposite to me. He looked incredibly nervous, his foot was tapping on the floor as his leg moved up and down. His eyes were darting around us, trying to look at everyone who might be judging him for sitting with him, staring at nothing in particular, he was worried what other people might think of him.

"Nick?"

"Sorry, sorry… I just… I thought we should talk, especially after, you know…"

"You reminded me that my baby died, basically slut-shamed me and told the whole street I was pregnant?"

"… Yeah, that… I'm sorry for lashing out and for all of that, my head was just – "

"Just what? Trying to hurt me in the worst way possible?"

"… Yeah."

At least he wasn't lying or hiding anything, we both knew that on that day he was trying to hurt me like no one ever had and that would have been a tough move. After my past, after everything that had happened to me with my ex-husbands, boyfriends, family, it was impossible to hurt me than that. To let him, the street, and I believe that he actually really hurt me was pathetic as I had handled much worse and come out stronger on the other end. Nick was no different to them, I was just an idiot for trying to convince myself that he was better, that he was going to treat me better. I was only ever attracted to bad boys, and I really should have known that Nick wasn't going to be an exception.

"Look, Nick – "

"Carla, I was hurt, I was destroyed that Peter was… that he was your baby's father. I overreacted, I said some horrible, horrible things that were way out of line, things I never should have said, and I know that but – "

"Where did you get the black eye?"

It was a bad attempt at changing the topic, but I wanted to scream at his terrible apology and leap across the table to slap the stupid out of him. Instead, I tried to learn about the thing that was actually making me feel better, seeing him physically hurt after what he did to me mentally is slightly comforting.

"I told you, Peter."

"What were you two fighting over now."

He looked as if he wanted the ground to swallow him up like he wanted to disappear and never be found again, he didn't want to admit to me the reason. I wasn't going to give up though, especially now that I knew he so desperately didn't want me to know. So, I waited, just staring at him, letting him try to make it sound better in his head before he told me.

"He… He knew we fought – our argument, but apparently, he didn't know what I said until someone told him, and he was… well, he was angry. I knew I shouldn't have said the things I did but Peter decided violence was the best route to take."

Even now, after everything we said, after everything he did, he was still talking like he was better than Peter, all because he hurt me with words instead of his fists. He was still looking down at Peter and it made me want to laugh, they were more alike than either of them wanted to admit. I held back my laughter with as much strength as possible and continued just looking at Nick, not trusting myself to talk. He began fidgeting again, he was nervous again, knowing that I wasn't agreeing with his statement, unhappy that I wasn't happy to start insulting Peter again just because he wanted me to.

"Nick… look, I should have told you that Peter was the dad and that wasn't wrong of me but the stuff you said, the things you did… it was a lot, and it was bad, worse than bad. I think we both just need to deal with our own stuff and move on."

He nodded his head to everything I was saying, and I couldn't help but be reminded of a nodding dog in a car as they drove down a bumpy country lane.

"When you say move on, is that moving on together or alone?"

He knew exactly what I meant but he wanted to give me an option to backtrack, he was letting me know that he was open to being in a relationship with me. His eyes were darting from me to his hands, and he knew what I was going to say, I had been thinking about it for the past two weeks and knew I had to do what was best for my baby so that there was no stress in my life that may hurt them.

"Nick, I think we need to work on ourselves right now."

"But in the future…"

The future? I couldn't predict the future and I couldn't give him a straight answer, he knew this and that was why he was smiling at me, willing me to give him what he wanted. If I didn't, then I would be a hypocrite, I said I would never go near Peter again after what he had done to me but now, I was sitting here with his baby in my belly.

"The future? Who knows what the future holds?"

He smiled at me as he got up and stood at the end of his booth, saying one more remark as Michelle made her way over with my food order.

"So, what I am hearing is that I have time, in the meantime, we can be friends, go back to how we used to be."

He was out of the door before I could object to his statement, I didn't want to go back to who we were after everything he said to me, but to avoid stress, I didn't want to fight him on this. Michelle put the plate of steaming food in front of me as she sat down, smiling at me with questioning in her gaze. She had obviously heard what Nick had said before he left and she couldn't wait to grill me on it, to live through me with the never-ending drama in my life. She was way too smug for my liking, but it caused me to smile at her and we both started laughing like lunatics.

"So, come on then, tell me what happened with the ex."

"Nothing important, did you know Peter punched Nick after what he said?"

"Yeah, yeah, I did, was that it? Come on, give me the gory details."

"What do you think happened? The gory details are that Nick and I had sex right here on this table just then, I would get the disinfectant if I were you."

"Oh, Haha, very funny."

I picked up the cutlery, smiling at her remark as I dug into the hotpot feeling famished today, ever since I had decided to give up breakfast again to try and prevent the heartburn. She watched me as I ate and talked about her day as though we hadn't spent nearly all day yesterday together. As minutes passed, her story dwindled out and the meal in front of me was devoured as I realised just how hungry this pregnancy was making me, especially as I licked the knife clean. My eyes caught Peters as he entered and smiled at me licking my utensils, I just smiled back embarrassedly and quickly looked back at Chelle. Peter walked past us and straight to the bar, talking to Steve, but I could tell from Michelle's expressions that he was looking at us now and then and of course she couldn't keep her mouth shut.

"So, now that we have shown Nick the door, are you opening it to someone else?"

"What?"

"Peter, are you interested in Peter, jeez, I was trying to be discreet."

No, she was trying to be clever. Then it hit me, were other people going to be thinking this as well because they now knew all of my business? Sure, I was pregnant with Peter's baby but that didn't make me want to immediately jump his bones and fall in love all over again, that would be a car crash that I didn't want to be a part of. I thought it over before answering, I was happy that Peter hit Nick, I was happy Peter was stepping up to being a dad, I was happy he was listening to my wishes and not fighting me on everything, but that didn't mean that I forgot the past or that I wanted to be in love with him again. We worked better apart, and I just didn't realise that until we were divorced, living separate lives, and now expecting a baby together, my life never did travel in the straight line everyone else's did.

"No. I've got someone else to focus on now, haven't I? This little baby needs me more than any man could, and I want to be the best mom that I can be and more. Peter and I are better apart, together in parenting, business , and friendship, but romantically we are a disaster, and I don't want to put this baby through that. Right now, I am just focusing on my next scan, getting all my orders out, and being healthy for this baby, which means no unneeded stress or drama, men are both."

Sorry for the delay, life got in the way, this is more of a filler but next is the scan and gender reveal.